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Thread: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

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    Senior Member Daisies's Avatar
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    Thumbs down How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    To make this short, I have an indiebill account, a dude from fetlife bought a show and when we scheduled to do it, he couldn't do it. I tried to contact him multiple times after to see if he was free and he was never online.
    This entitled moron, instead of trying to resolve things with me by private messaging me on fetlife or just trying to talk to me on skype, decided to start slandering my name on pages I advertise my shows, calling me a scammer on every post I make, and just being a creep in general.
    He is now asking for a refund to indiebill and to be honest I feel like I don't own him sh*t after him trying to ruin my business, call me all the names imaginable and what not.
    I have always done all shows I get paid for and I take my work very seriously.
    How would you girls deal with this situation?

  2. #2
    Moderator PhatGirlDynomite!!!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Contact Indiebill and have them credit his money back. Bottom line is he didnt get the show so even if he is being a pain just wash your hands of him. Whatever site he's posting on report him and if at all possible submit screenshots of your correspondence with him. It doesn't have to be that serious. IndieBill handles all chargebacks but why let it get that far? If every model were to force a chargeback then what sort of future would the payment processor have? I would just have the transaction voided and move on.

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    Member Miss-Trust's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Your first stop is to let IndieBill know what happened. (I expect you already have done) You have all the emails back and forth with him and you can screen shot your Skype conversation with him showing that you were there waiting for him and then trying to contact him. They should then let you keep the money.

    For all of the places he is slandering you, write out a bit explaining what happened, being to the point and professional, just for the benefit of other potential customers. Post this everywhere he has posted about you and then do not reply to anything else he posts. He will eventually get bored and move on. If you engage him then it will end up making you look unprofessional. If you have any good feedback elsewhere then you can always add a link to the feedback where this is allowed.

    He will get bored and move on eventually, and the his posts will become the past and be forgotten in the end.

    Try not to let it get to you too much. I know it's hard but this will all soon just be something in the past you dealt with.

    Xxx

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    After reading phatgirldynomites post, I'd say that she's probably right. It will save you alot of Hassel to just refund him. I don't think it's right as he made you wait around and it was because of him that the session didn't happen. But the hassle is probably not worth it.

    X

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    Senior Member Daisies's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    Contact Indiebill and have them credit his money back. Bottom line is he didnt get the show so even if he is being a pain just wash your hands of him. Whatever site he's posting on report him and if at all possible submit screenshots of your correspondence with him. It doesn't have to be that serious. IndieBill handles all chargebacks but why let it get that far? If every model were to force a chargeback then what sort of future would the payment processor have? I would just have the transaction voided and move on.
    The problem is, I can't delete his comments, and I already reported them and nothing happened, so there is nothing I can do to get rid of this dude calling me a "scammer" which will probably affect my work.
    So refunding his money wouldn't change anything for me since the problem is already there and wont disappear with any refund.

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    Moderator PhatGirlDynomite!!!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Your merchant provider will love you and appreciate your business so much more if you work to avoid chargebacks. Chargebacks come with additional fees and can cause them to lose their merchant account if the percentage becomes too high. Whereas a refund is a decision that the merchant comes to on their own without penalty. This guy sounds like a tool but if you run into too many of these scenarios your payment provider may decide that your customer service skills aren't suitable for their company and decide to drop you. It would be a matter of them being proactive.

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    Senior Member Daisies's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    I was willing to give a refund, like I would do with anyone else who I couldn't have the show with for reason y or x, not so willing after he is already ruining my reputation.

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    Senior Member Daisies's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    Your merchant provider will love you and appreciate your business so much more if you work to avoid chargebacks. Chargebacks come with additional fees and can cause them to lose their merchant account if the percentage becomes too high. Whereas a refund is a decision that the merchant comes to on their own without penalty. This guy sounds like a tool but if you run into too many of these scenarios your payment provider may decide that your customer service skills aren't suitable for their company and decide to drop you. It would be a matter of them being proactive.
    I totally understand what you're saying, this is a one time thing tho, I have never anyone asking for a refund because like I mentioned I take my work really seriously and do everything I'm paid for.

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    God/dess SoloDesire's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Sounds like you already have your mind made up as to what you want to do. So what is it exactly you are asking us to do for you when you don't want the advice that's being given to you?

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Daisies View Post
    I totally understand what you're saying, this is a one time thing tho, I have never anyone asking for a refund because like I mentioned I take my work really seriously and do everything I'm paid for.
    Not sure how much money we're talking about here? But if it's worth the mental aggravation to go round and round over this one issue instead of just getting the money voided on his behalf, then the best of luck to you.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by SoloDesire View Post
    Sounds like you already have your mind made up as to what you want to do. So what is it exactly you are asking us to do for you when you don't want the advice that's being given to you?
    When did I say I didn't want advise? I'm making this thread because I want advise. Just because I already have an idea of what I think I should do doesn't mean I'm not listening to what others have to say.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    Not sure how much money we're talking about here? But if it's worth the mental aggravation to go round and round over this one issue instead of just getting the money voided on his behalf, then the best of luck to you.
    This is not about how much money it is, since I don't really care, this is about the fact that even if I decide to give him the refund the comments calling me a scammer are still there.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    The only thing you can do about the comments is to make a comment yourself explaining the situation for the benefit of other potential customers. Just make sure you keep it to the point. No name calling. Just stating what happened. You don't want customers to be put off by your post.

    Don't get into a conversation or argument with him. It will look bad on you.

    It will pass hunni, just give it time and it'll get lost in the depths of the web.

    X

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.


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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by SoloDesire View Post
    If you aren't going to give any constructive opinion why post on here?

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Daisies View Post
    If you aren't going to give any constructive opinion why post on here?
    Ummm, because obviously it doesn't matter what anyone tells you. You don't want to give him his money back and you already contacted the site. I'll give you some constructive opinions...stop being so defensive when people are just trying to help you and give you helpful advice that's only going to help you in the long run. Or don't...whatever.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by SoloDesire View Post
    Ummm, because obviously it doesn't matter what anyone tells you. You don't want to give him his money back and you already contacted the site. I'll give you some constructive opinions...stop being so defensive when people are just trying to help you and give you helpful advice that's only going to help you in the long run. Or don't...whatever.
    I wasn't defensive against anyone who actually gave their opinion on the situation and said what they think would be the best option to be made.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Ok, Idk if this help u, but in the thread in this section, I'm being stalked, ( not sure exact title) I mentioned a lady that formed a company, haltabuse.org to help stop this type of thing (Online Abuse)
    Check it out good luck


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Refund him, then you can honestly post under his comments that he has had a full refund for not being able to schedule a show with you and you now consider the matter closed. Anything he posts after that will make him look like a stalker/deranged/jealous other model/obsessed, and people probably won't take him seriously. And don't forget "no publicity is bad publicity". You'll get people wanting shows BECAUSE of this.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Decided to update on the situation.
    I decided to talk on skype with the dude that was calling me a "scammer" on my advertisements. He told me there he doesn't want a refund and that he hasn't contacted indiebill, which is obviously a lie.
    I sent a screenshot of the conversation to indiebill by email, showing him saying he doesn't want the refund, but they still decided to refund him and asked him to remove his comments from my advertisements, which he obviously wont be doing, since he is clearly a liar.
    I explained indiebill how that person left without starting the show and didn't contact me again, not on skype, not on fetlife, not anywhere. I just heard from him again from indiebill when they sent me an email saying there was a complaint, and after that when he started posting hate on my advertisements.
    Needles to say I'm not impressed or pleased with the fact that I showed them the douche saying he doesn't care about a refund and they're refunding him anyway.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    They're covering their ass. It's the smartest thing to do in this situation. Yes, it sucks bigtime, but that's a standard business practice.

    I agree about addressing the customer's comments by stating what happened and that he got a refund. There are so many crazy trolls on the internet, and most guys will be able to look past that. Just keep proving that you are legit by doing great work, and ask your other customers to post positive comments/reviews. It will fade into the background eventually.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    They're covering their ass. It's the smartest thing to do in this situation. Yes, it sucks bigtime, but that's a standard business practice.

    I agree about addressing the customer's comments by stating what happened and that he got a refund. There are so many crazy trolls on the internet, and most guys will be able to look past that. Just keep proving that you are legit by doing great work, and ask your other customers to post positive comments/reviews. It will fade into the background eventually.
    I understand IB side, it just really sucks! Oh well I'll see how this goes.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    I would be asking every client I have who enjoyed my shows to leave me positive comments! No one is going to give regard to one bad comment if there is a boat load of positive ones. We all know there are trolls out there.

    Would you buy from an amazon seller who had a 98% positive feed back rating??

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    Quote Originally Posted by DeepThoughts View Post
    I would be asking every client I have who enjoyed my shows to leave me positive comments! No one is going to give regard to one bad comment if there is a boat load of positive ones. We all know there are trolls out there.

    Would you buy from an amazon seller who had a 98% positive feed back rating??
    I don't have other clients from fetlife, most were from cam sites and don't have fetlife accounts.

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    Default Re: How to deal with someone trying to slander my work.

    This type thing happens to nearly everyone sooner or later. I agree with the advice to be sure he gets his refund, counter the comments with comments of your own, move on and concentrate on getting more business. I find that controversy often gets me new business even with some idiot leaving negative comments. Strange but true.


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