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Thread: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

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    Senior Member bunnydoll's Avatar
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    Thumbs down idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    So Ive been stripping for 3 months, Im a student, and stripping is my second job (cos a girls got to eat) Im currently on a break as my mental health is really bad atm, the ambulance got called to the student residence 4 times last week which is the embarrassment of my life. But I plan to go back to stripping next week but not to such a full time upscale club because it burned me out with working on my studies too.<br><br>But one thing at my last shift has been bugging me and idk fucking why, it wouldnt normally, I was chatting to a customer (didnt spend on any girls all night) and he told me I was in the wrong job because I was too shy, and he told me to be more touchy, (I was diagnosed with autism at age 12) I laughed it off with some banter and left him for other customers when I realized he was a time waster. Ive made my shyness sort of my persona, as a lot of guys seem too like it, they have said it is cute and sexy and stuff and it has made me money, but after what this customer said about me being in the wrong job made me wonder if he is right? This wouldnt usually bother me and its probably just my state of mind making me worry atm, but I dont want to carry on stripping for ages, only to realise a long way down the line that yes, actually I am in the wrong job.<br><br>I started stripping because my other job wasnt making me enough to eat, I was in a lot of debt and stripping was the only job I could think of where I could get hired straight away without experience. I thought I might as well try it and see if it worked for me. Although Im not a top earner I genuinely enjoyed stripping, doing stage, the atmosphere, chatting to customers and so far I havnt gone home with no money although I expect it will happen at some point. Tbh its the only job I feel able to do with my mental illness, although Im too ill to do anything at the moment, I miss working. Fingers crossed I can go back next week.<br><br>Just wondered if anyone else has had customers telling them their in the wrong job, or thoughts on whether this customer is right or not?<br><br>(sorry if this post didnt make much sense my mind is pretty muddled atm) &nbsp;

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    Senior Member bunnydoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    ok why did it fuck up my format thanks...

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Don't take his word, cause some guys are saying only mean things and think they know everything. It is only one particular guy who told you that, so as long as they aren t a tone of guys telling you the same tbing often and not making a dime meanwhile, then I wouldn t worry at all. The more important is to send a positive vibe to the guys. I am not a stripper, but a camgirl and right now I just put myself in your shoes.
    roybrown450: U got the kind of pussy u throw up in the air and it turns into sunshine
    N: You're worth dying for. Last thing I see is your spit flying towards my face and I'll die smiling.
    =^_^= CATocracy!! Yes!! Fellows, help the poor little strays w/o a home

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    Veteran Member persianprincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Some guys also just talk to talk ... you know? They like the sound of their own voice and like to get their unfounded opinions out there ... this goes for many people.

    If stripping is working for you, enjoy it make the most of it.

    If your persona is shy ... it's fine ... that's you, that's your marketing, that's how you present yourself and certain guys will love it other guys won't ... same goes for everyone's persona. You're not gonna tick all the boxes for everyone. So long as you're fun and turn them on, you can be shy, a bitch, a party girl, etc etc.

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    I was severely isolated as a child/young teen and as a result I have horrible social anxiety and I have problems speaking at all in public and I do just fine. I do a lot of body language and expressions and listening which is really what they want anyways, thy don't care to hear about my life lol ,
    So many guys want to act all-knowing and give you "advice" and mansplain YOUR job to you and at th same time try and manipulate you into more mileage.
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Veteran Member gummygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    It's kinda stupid how these roaches come in and act like they know shit. Let me give advice... by then I walk away.

    There always ganna be rude waste of skins come in. Usually time wasters or that nasty idoit who want you to go a whole mile for 1 25$ song.
    Fuck em fuck em fuck em
    Get your money or be done. I use to be shy but after almost 2 years.... shit will change.
    I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything. ~Geoff Johns

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    Veteran Member gummygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    And fyi don't touch these waste of skins unless money come in
    I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything. ~Geoff Johns

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    I don't get how you could be in the wrong job unless you literally make no money or barely anything every shift. If you're still making a good amount then it's clearly not the wrong job for you lol. And you will have nights eventually where you make little to nothing but that doesn't mean you should just quit.

    Plus customers are stupid and some just say shit to be assholes. They think they know everything when it comes to dancers and strip clubs. I'm actually super introverted and I doubt anyone would guess I'm a stripper. You don't have to be an outgoing person to do well as a dancer.

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    He just wanted you to touch him, & is being a cheapo


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    ^ Yes, set boundaries including how much time you want to even chat if they aren't tipping !

    You can walk away from a customer at ANY time dancing, even if you just don't like their personality or vibe. It can be hard to focus and avoid energy suckers when you are new but you can get the hang of it.

    If they whine about lack of contact , sell a more private upgraded experience to them ( champagne room / vip ect.)

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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Your job is paying your bills, so clearly it's working out for you. Sometimes customers' words echo in my head, too, but the truth is that they're asshole perverts who paid money to watch naked girls and try to verbally tear us down. Fuck that. It's not worth wasting your time and energy. There will always be idiot customers in the SC, saying/doing whatever they think will get under your skin, and you'll learn to ignore them. Just move on to the next.

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    I feel since Pick Up Artist culture has been a big thing (thank the Internet & "bro" culture) .......for some guys the ultimate turn on is messing with a woman's mind. Like, the idea of grabbing a tit is boring. Leaving a woman with an emotional hangover is (to some guys) a thing that makes them feel potent.

    The first/most successful stripper I ever knew retired because she met a guy who paid for her to exit the industry but he fucked with her head hardcore. His compensation for helping her exit the job was mentally dominating her.


    .......There are no free lunches out there...even for pretty ladies...

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    I feel since Pick Up Artist culture has been a big thing (thank the Internet & "bro" culture) .......for some guys the ultimate turn on is messing with a woman's mind. Like, the idea of grabbing a tit is boring. Leaving a woman with an emotional hangover is (to some guys) a thing that makes them feel potent.

    The first/most successful stripper I ever knew retired because she met a guy who paid for her to exit the industry but he fucked with her head hardcore. His compensation for helping her exit the job was mentally dominating her.


    .......There are no free lunches out there...even for pretty ladies...
    I'm glad you said this. When new dancers ask about the olden days of the 90s and some encourage them to forego school for 10-20 years, I feel like this should be mentioned. Not only has the money shifted but the ease in getting it has shifted. All you had were paper directories of clubs back then. So most club goers would come in for fun. A few would come in to play mind games and were generally left alone. We warned each other about them so they were easy to avoid. Now, the culture of club going has been destroyed by sociopaths who train others how to "get dancers". You can see packs of guys who work together to say demeaning things, to physically/sexually abuse dancers, and defraud dancers and cover each others lies to the club staff.
    I'll share an example. In my area, it used to be fairly carefree. You showed up to work as many hours as possible and make money. Now, you show up and every other guy is trying to get free dances and claim you lied to them. I've seen guys give very similar cover stories as if a website taught them what to say and when to say it. My club got so sick of the fuckery that they put in a computer system to time dances. The guys see us clock in and magically the lies and "misunderstandings" slowed waaaaay down. The girls haven't changed, the customers have.

    These days every other group has loud insults disguised as jokes targeted at random friendly dancers who approach. In my area they like to insult minorities. I sit back and see girls go from looking sunny and happy to hurt and broken. Even white immigrants are not immune and we've even had suicides. Not kidding. I've heard some vile 'jokes'. So it's very different these days to just go to work,be friendly, and make money.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Wow, I was pretty sure I was the only autistic dancer in existence. I find that I do better if I proactively make physical contact so it's less jarring when customers do so, and they don't feel the need to reach out as much. Talking for a long time can be exhausting, so keep moving along until you find someone you have chemistry with. Lastly, take time ALONE to recharge every week. Lock yourself in a quiet room with a task, like studying or crafting something, and don't come out until you're feeling refreshed.

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    Veteran Member questella's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Another stripper with ASD!

    They try to talk me I'm in the wrong job often too, I stop talking to them after this... because like what should I be working at McDonalds or waitressing where I can't even walk away from you right now? Or should I be cleaning your toilet? Um, no... sorry not sorry


    I only found out about having autism in the summer of 2015... I was off for a few years after having my kid and couldn't for anything get a regular job. Led me into a period of self-discovery. It's changed the way I focus on dancing a lot. Such as I now know and have come to terms with why I've never had a regular and will never have one. Newbie customers are my meat, club regulars are just exhausting I'll talk to them so it looks like I'm doing somethihg but don't even offer to dance for them anymore. They know what I'm there for if they want one they can ask (and occasionally they do) but they usually have their regular girls anyways.

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    Senior Member bunnydoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    im going back next week. fuck that guy

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    So basically a time waster wants free feels? I think his whole point was to get in your head and he did. You are fine just the way you are.

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    Veteran Member questella's Avatar
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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    Just yesterday I had some guys trying to tell me I need to go work at the Waffle House or Walmart so I can have a "real job" I couldn't help but laugh at them, lol. I gave them a list of reasons why that was a dumb idea. Then they were trying to suggest I work in a bowling alley... wtf dudes

    Total time wasters but it was early and the club was dead dead so I humored them for a while (or rather myself) before moving to hang with the dj for a bit. Loosers, laugh.

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    Default Re: idk why what this dude said is bothering me...

    The correct response is "Give me $100 and I'll be more touchy "

    All the girls above are right. It sounds like he was trying to get in your head to get stuff for free. Also the shy persona is a great one. It gives you a non-money reason to be holding back and be willing to go forward in increments. This can be really appealing to a lot of guys. Actually it sounds like it caught this guy's attention too, otherwise I don't think he'd bother turning it on you.

    In short if the way you are works for YOU don't change and keep doing things they way you are doing them. And next time a guy puts you in this situation charge him a tax for being rude and annoying.

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