11111Hey everyone so as the title implies I have been having this issue for a while but it is now becoming a really big problem for me.
My SO and I have been together for almost 5 years. I have been camming for almost 3 years.
This jealousy while camming issue was pretty bad at first but it seemed to resolve itself after he was able to cam with me and saw that this is a performance rather than a "real" cheating situation.
Well, the past few months the momentum of jealousy has slowly been building up and it is hitting a breaking point.
We live in a 1 bedroom apartment right now so he can usually hear everything I am doing while working. He has been becoming horribly jealous.
I am embarrassed to say this but he has been demeaning me now, calling me a whore, saying I am on my way to being a hooker / prostitute. That I am a bad person, that I "get off" entertaining other men.
The worst is that he has been coming into the room in the middle of my shows flipping out. Sometimes I can hear him listening to my show outside the bedroom door, and it makes me really uncomfortable and unable to be in character when he can hear the things I am saying. I get worried of saying something that would make him jealous, but ANYTHING would in a show. He will literally just barge in MID SHOW and start an argument and force me to stop my show.
Obviously this has caused a lot of tension between us and we are arguing a lot and things seem really tense between us.
I am ashamed to admit this, but I have cheated on him in the past and I feel this is why he feels this way. He constantly brings up my infidelity almost every day.
I don't know what to do, I am asking him to go to counseling but he won't.
I have started therapy and am seeking group therapy in my area to work on my mental health issues and create a more positive outlook for my life.
He doesn't have a job right now but he should in the near future, so we are basically always together and I can't cam while he's not here at the moment.
I feel like a hypocrite because while he was camming briefly I became jealous as well and complained about it. I got over it quickly when I realized it was 100% men who were his customers anyway. I feel like it is different for me since I am attracted to men and men are my customers.
Do any of you have any advice? Have any of you been in or are in the same situation as me?



Reply With Quote







Bookmarks