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Thread: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

  1. #1
    Senior Member illuminaughty's Avatar
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    Default How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    11111Hey everyone so as the title implies I have been having this issue for a while but it is now becoming a really big problem for me.

    My SO and I have been together for almost 5 years. I have been camming for almost 3 years.

    This jealousy while camming issue was pretty bad at first but it seemed to resolve itself after he was able to cam with me and saw that this is a performance rather than a "real" cheating situation.

    Well, the past few months the momentum of jealousy has slowly been building up and it is hitting a breaking point.

    We live in a 1 bedroom apartment right now so he can usually hear everything I am doing while working. He has been becoming horribly jealous.

    I am embarrassed to say this but he has been demeaning me now, calling me a whore, saying I am on my way to being a hooker / prostitute. That I am a bad person, that I "get off" entertaining other men.

    The worst is that he has been coming into the room in the middle of my shows flipping out. Sometimes I can hear him listening to my show outside the bedroom door, and it makes me really uncomfortable and unable to be in character when he can hear the things I am saying. I get worried of saying something that would make him jealous, but ANYTHING would in a show. He will literally just barge in MID SHOW and start an argument and force me to stop my show.

    Obviously this has caused a lot of tension between us and we are arguing a lot and things seem really tense between us.

    I am ashamed to admit this, but I have cheated on him in the past and I feel this is why he feels this way. He constantly brings up my infidelity almost every day.

    I don't know what to do, I am asking him to go to counseling but he won't.

    I have started therapy and am seeking group therapy in my area to work on my mental health issues and create a more positive outlook for my life.

    He doesn't have a job right now but he should in the near future, so we are basically always together and I can't cam while he's not here at the moment.

    I feel like a hypocrite because while he was camming briefly I became jealous as well and complained about it. I got over it quickly when I realized it was 100% men who were his customers anyway. I feel like it is different for me since I am attracted to men and men are my customers.

    Do any of you have any advice? Have any of you been in or are in the same situation as me?

  2. #2
    Featured Member ScarletKitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Jealous, demeans you, interrupts your work, and doesn't have a job.

    Dump him.


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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    I don't think its even the camming, i think its past issues and hes using the camming as a scapegoat to air his frustrations. If the cheating occurred a long time ago and hasn't been resolved, its probably best to call it a day - move on and learn from any mistakes

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    There's been like 900 + of this same type of thread, yes to what Scarlett said, & also please see below the last response to where it says, 'Similar Threads'
    Good Luck

    ETA: flipping his shit, doesn't work or try? Be careful he doesn't flip the fuck out, & seriously hurt you or worse.


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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Once you figure out where the jealously is coming from. It's usually it's just their problem. and they have to figure out a way to deal with it.

    Luckily I never had jealous from someone I was dating. my jealously situations from camming came from people who hated I was making more money then them or this one twisted situation my best friend boyfriend would be watching my cam shows. had no idea it was him didn't know about it til my friend told me.

    Again not my problem I live my life

    it's not like your going to run off and meet the guys who spend money on your digital products and cam shows. So the person who is your relationship they need to build up their self esteem and get over it.
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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    What I take from this is, camming isn't the main cause of his jealousy but your past infidelity is
    but he's using camming has an outlet for his behavior.

    Now, him demeaning and calling you names is not okay. You gotta put a stop to that. Toleration is self-abuse.

    I've read so many stories from girls allowing their husbands/boyfriends shaming and demeaning sex workers. Anyone that would fuck with such "men" is a mystery to me. She doesn't even realize an enemy when she sees one.

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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Dump him, leave him, run away, kick his ass out, send him home to mama!!

    Jealousy is like a drug addiction it starts out small and secret in your own head and then it grows into this over consuming monster that takes over everything in your life. The only way to stop it is to realize that you have an issue and take the steps to stop. Its not easy to do and you cannot make him do it he has to want that all himself.

    You cheated on him but he took you back! Guess what! Doesnt give him the right to demean you or criticize you. You preform sex shows on cam for other men. That is your choice and nobody gets to make that choice for you or tell you how you should be living your life!

    Now what will probably happen is your gonna try to fix him until shit gets really fucked up and the abuse starts to become physical or so controlling that you will become totally isolated and cant even leave your home or he's gonna think your fucking some other guy or girl and then your gonna be one of those women. I've been there. So many of us have been there. We know its not gonna work out well for you hun and Im sorry for that.

    Unless you heed the first sentence I wrote here then your just another girl on her way down the "abused woman" path. Big hugs. Be strong and love yourself first cause your the only one who can right now.
    "In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders." - Sheryl Sandberg

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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    The ladies above pretty much nailed it. We can only give you the advice in our point of view of the situation you have presented to us. But you and you alone have to make the final decision on what you wish to do in the situation.

    Personally, I agree with the ladies above that he is totally using the camming as the reason for his jealous and in reality it is because he is now insecure in his relationship with you because of the infidelity on your part. People make mistakes as we all are only human. He made the choice to take you back and with that he should have forgiven you & did the adult thing and not bring it up ever again. But that isn't the case. Instead, he is holding onto it causing even more issues. Maybe it is time for you to step back from this relationship. Maybe it is time for you to get some space for yourself because you DO NOT DESERVE to be treated in such a disrespectful manner, period. He needs to do a little growing up and that surely includes having a job as he has no right in telling you to basically quit camming just by his actions alone because he doesn't even have a job of his own in order to support you both.

    I don't know. Just by what you are saying, I think leaving him would be best. Yes, it is hard of course but you really deserve better than that. Someone who will respect you and your choices in life. Someone who is supportive in the work you do. Someone who works just as hard as you do in your career. That is just my point of you so you do with that and all the other advice given to you in this thread and do with it what you will. I really wish the best for you!

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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Quote Originally Posted by illuminaughty View Post
    he has been demeaning me now, calling me a whore, saying I am on my way to being a hooker / prostitute. That I am a bad person, that I "get off" entertaining other men.

    The worst is that he has been coming into the room in the middle of my shows flipping out. He will literally just barge in MID SHOW and start an argument and force me to stop my show.

    Obviously this has caused a lot of tension between us and we are arguing a lot and things seem really tense between us.
    This is abuse, not tension.

    Quote Originally Posted by illuminaughty View Post
    I am ashamed to admit this, but I have cheated on him in the past and I feel this is why he feels this way.

    I feel like a hypocrite because while he was camming briefly I became jealous as well and complained about it. I got over it quickly
    Like someone else said, he decided to stay with you so he needs to let it go. It's on him now. If he can't handle what you've done in the past he needs to bounce, not just stay and abuse you constantly because of it. And don't let you being ashamed of things you've done in the past cause you to think that you need to put up with misery now because of it.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Plus he's a total hypocrite. He used to cam so he should know what it is. It's okay for him to cam stress free but when you cam he has to act like a weirdo?!? Why is he even breathing down your neck while you work anyway? Give him a DIY project, send him off to Home Depot, when he returns hand him some tools and tell him to make himself useful around the house is what I would do.

    I would be pissed if a dude is f*cking with my money - which he is doing by bursting in on your shows.

    Youre probably going to have to put your foot down so he will back off of you.

    And why are You in therapy when he is the one who needs therapy? He should at least be paying for your therapy since he's the one causing you stress.

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  19. #11
    Senior Member sexyadrienne's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Love makes a hard rock feel like a soft place . . .

    Cut him off and move on. Do something nice for yourself.
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  21. #12
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    Default Re: How to deal with significant other's jealousy while camming?

    Quote Originally Posted by sexyadrienne View Post
    Love makes a hard rock feel like a soft place . . .
    This quote right here gave me goosebumps.
    Very very true. As for the OP, I got nothing. Not need to pile on.
    You've received excellent advice. Not applying it would be self-damaging. Good luck.


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