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Thread: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

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    Veteran Member somechick99's Avatar
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    Default BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    My best friend is exactly 2 years younger than me, and I met her about 3 years ago. We both started dancing long before meeting each other, and she quit roughly 8 months ago after a bad incident a work (a guy touched her vagina, grabbed her money bag and darted out of the club). She has since popped into the club one single time and often mentions how she may pop back in for a few extra bucks. However, she also talks about how much happier she is since quitting

    Now I've been chronically depressed as long as I can remember (far before dancing), however I can confidently say my self-esteem has skyrocketed and my anxiety has nearly disappeared since starting dancing. I've definitely had some bad incidents that left me taking breaks from work and whatnot, but overall the pros have outweighed the cons emotionally for me, at least in my opinion. I studied sales and the male mind, and basically worked my ass off to become a top earner, and I did. My friend is beautiful and a great dancer but never really got the hustle down, so I can see that the bad nights may have taken a toll on her self-esteem.

    Well, about 5 months ago I decided to get a day job. I've gone to the strip club only about 7 times total in the past 5 months, as I haven't needed to go as much. Aside from this my behavior and emotions have stayed generally the same from what I can tell. However out of seemingly nowhere, the past few times my friend knew I was working she started talking about how she thinks I shouldn't dance because it depresses me. Um...what? I asked her what she meant and she basically said she's much happier since quitting and thinks my depression stems mainly from dancing. I'm sure her intentions are good, but I find this confusing because sometimes she'll act like she wants to come with me (never does tho), then other times discourages me from going in. She literally says stuff like "I don't think you should go in" or "It makes you depressed." This has happened about the past 3-4 times I've gone in. I told her politely once that I appreciated her concern but it didn't make me as depressed as she thought and I was going to do what I need to do. She acted distant and strange after this.

    I guess I'm just wondering how to handle this and if I'm right to find this annoying, even a bit...controlling? Not sure if that's the right word. I just don't appreciate getting a psychoanalysis on my depression from someone who's not only younger than me, but has sent mixed messages on their feeling about the industry in general. I also feel strongly that everyone's experience with dancing is going to be very different, and for some people it may be super toxic and others it could be exactly what they need to get on their feet and build some confidence.

    I'm curious if anyone else has gone through this/knows why she might be acting this way. Thanks!

    (Note: I'm not announcing to her every time I go in, but she usually knows because we communicate so frequently that it would be difficult to hide, and I don't feel I should need to...especially from an ex-dancer)

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    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    ...jealousy. Simple jealousy.

    It happened to me. I can elaborate later but this also does happen to people who succeed in other occupations. Your circle of friends can change.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    Me thinks the lady doth project too much.
    Seriously, it's all projection. And probably jealousy that you could thrive and succeed in the business and she simply couldn't.
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    Well I would tell her thanks for your concern but that's not how I'm feeling. People are quick to assume you feel and think how they do (like mentioned above projection) especially if you're close friends or family. Or they just assume how you're feeling based off of their own biases. Just remind her you're okay and you will quit when you know the time is right for you.

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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    In the long run be glad this happened. A successful adult industry worker has no room for treacherous friends in his or her life....
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    She's projecting her own stuff on to you. Only you know what's best for you. I'd tell her, " I appreciate your concern, but if you can't support me I will stop talking about my work life with you." Yes dancing can lead to depression and so can not having money to pay your rent...the lesser of all evils is....dancing in my opinion.

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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    She sounds like a bitter betty because of her experience ... I agree with all the ladies saying she is projecting.
    IDK lose friends who aren't supportive, I guarantee the jealousy will only get worse.

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    Senior Member Camillauk's Avatar
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    Default Re: BFF suddenly hates that I dance

    Jealous that she can't work as a dancer anymore I think and she is trying to put you off as she knows you are making more money than her!

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