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Thread: Can't stand this

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    Default Can't stand this

    Left a club after about 30 minutes the other night due to a dancer and her attitude. I walked in with $500 and I was ready for some fun. I walked in the club and hadn't even found a table and she walked up to me and asked if I wanted a private. I honestly had just gotten in the club and my eyes hadn't even adjusted. I said thanks but not right now, I just got in the door. She persisted and walked with me to a table and sat down with me. Now honestly, she was attractive and I might have been interested without the high pressure immediate push. If she had waited 5 or 10 minutes, maybe I would have been interested, I doubt it, but possibly. So i ordered a drink and she asked if I wanted to buy her one, I didn't want to so I didn't. I got my drink, never spoke to her and she never really spoke to me at the table and then after a few minutes again asked if I wanted a private. Again I said no and then I got up, excused myself and went to another table. I tipped a girl at the stage and asked her about a possible private and she said not now. I asked why and she said "Dancer X" says you are a real dick and I don't need any drama. What the hell? I couldn't see the dancer that started this so I asked the waitress to get the dancer but when she came back she said the dancer wouldn't come out as she was afraid. I just left after speaking to the manager about the situation. He was apologetic and offered me a free pass and help with any of the girls but my buzz was gone.
    This ticked me off as I had been in the club a few times prior and had fun, spent some money and relaxed. I will go back but only one more time.
    Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Rutroh you might get some dancers suggestions if we move this to customer conversation - let me know if you want it moved.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Senior Member RUTROH's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Sure thing

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    With the first girl you unfortunately just needed to be more direct from the jump and told her you did not want her company. No need for you to have to switch tables. Second girl you should have just let her know not to believe everything another butthurt dancer tells her but cool with you if she doesn't want to make some money and find another girl. I'd discuss it with a manger also as you did and let them know that the cockblocking first girl just cost the club a good customer.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    BobbleHead, you are right I should have been more direct initially, I just thought my apparent disinterest and stating no to both dance and drink would be enough. I guess not. I really just want to kick back at Clubs when I go and rarely have issues. This just surprised me, especially telling other dancers to avoid me. I wasn't particularly rude to her, I even tried to converse with her at the table but she was not much of a conversationalist and I told her I wanted a bit of time to get comfortable with the club. I should have told her to try her luck elsewhere and then come back to me later. She was attractive but the longer she was at my table the less I found her so.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    There is really no way for us to know exactly why things went down the way that they did. Body language, attitude, facial expressions, etc., all feed into how others perceive us. She could also have been having a bad night. Who here can really know? But I agree that you didn't help matters with the way that you disengaged with Dancer 1. As Bobble rightly said, you could have avoided a lot of drama if you had just been direct from the get go. There are ways to do that calmly and even with a smile that still firmly get the point across.

    As far as the rest, what were you hoping to accomplish with all of that added drama? Dancers talk to each other all the time. C'est la vie. Were these the only two girls in the club? I'm not sure what the upside was in trying to call out Dancer 1 or complaining to the manager. Btw, can you guess what the manager was probably really thinking while you complained to him about the fact that a dancer said mean things about you?

    Idk. Strip clubs can be as fun as you make them, but a thicker skin helps a lot. IME thinner skinned people are also much more vulnerable to certain types of hustles, which I add just in case you intend to keep frequenting clubs.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    You,should,just say no......and quite frankly you sound like a bit of a tool. Why would you ask the waitress to bring the dancer back to you?

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    ^^so he could confront her for telling on him to another dancer lol
    ^^^^^now I realize he might have HAD to switch tables because first dancer probably was like "hey girls beware of asshole cheapskate at table 11"

    Don't go to the club during the day shift when only two dancers working. In some areas dayshift rarely gets customers so aggressive sales pitches and gossiping are norm. It is what it is.

    I have a hard time believing men who claim they can't spend money in the club. It's like y'all looking for stars to align, the heavens to magically appear, and a host of other "perfect" conditions before you can enjoy the club. Which is unrealistic.

    The dancers are human and every now and then you deal with real issues. Like mentioned being polite yet firm in your decisions is a good way to keep dancers you do want while avoiding dancers you don't want. Sometimes when you're too nice rejecting someone and then passive aggressively switch tables looks like a bad reflection on your ability to just say no thanks.

    Yes high pressure sales pitches mean not taking first no as a final no. So you may have to say no 2-3 times (polite yet firm way) before it's taken as final.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 03-29-2017 at 06:05 AM.
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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    I can see how high pressure sales vulture dancer would have been annoying. Next time just be very direct and tell her you just got there, you need a little time alone to settle in, you will let her know when you're ready, you don't want to waste her time, etc.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Dancer #1 is an annoying dog-In-the-manger ("if I can't have it, nobody can, and I'm gunna bully anybody that does!). I've had to deal with her type before. Ugh. Don't let one obnoxious person get under your skin that much, I mean we're there really only two girls there in the whole club ??
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    I hate when dancers stand at the door waiting for guys to come in and then follow them to their tables. It seems so suffocating and way too aggressive. I've had managers tell me I need to be more like that but hell no lol. OP next time just tell her you want to hangout alone for a bit and come back later.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    I hate when dancers stand at the door waiting for guys to come in and then follow them to their tables. It seems so suffocating and way too aggressive. I've had managers tell me I need to be more like that but hell no lol. OP next time just tell her you want to hangout alone for a bit and come back later.
    I know! It just seems like a desperate hustle. Guys are turned off by vultures.

    I can see if a dancer has an appointment with a customer and she is there to greet him near the entrance, but being a thristy bitch otherwise is so not sexy.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    You would think guys are turned off by vultures ( I know I would be ) but a good percentage of them fall for the high pressure sales. Im like damn did John the customer not notice how as soon as he stepped his pinky toe inside the club that bubbles was right there? And that he had no choice of the dancer he wanted to spend time with because....bubbles was right there?!?

    Either they're just that horny and love don't mind being smothered / bossed around or they are too scared to say no or they are unaware they are in a deep / high pressure hustle.

    If being a vulture didn't work at least some of the time, they wouldn't keep doing it.

    And in some areas of clubs if your'e not a vulture you're going home starving that day/night.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    The Vulture Hustle actually makes a lot of money if you do it right. The girls who are most successful are the ones who go after customers, perhaps not the way OPs girl did it, but they definitely grab them up ASAP. For example, I see a customer walk in, I immediately grab him and settle him in w rapport for a few minutes and then close with a line about "starting your night off on the right foot" which usually nets me something and makes the customer feel less Vultured lol.

    OP, next time, instead of just ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away, you need to man up and be more direct about what you want. The avoidant thing isn't cute and makes you look like a creepy/ abusive asshole. You aren't going to hurt our feelings by telling us you have another girl or that you aren't interested right now, but you WILL hurt your chances of getting a dancer by being a dick, even if you weren't doing it on purpose. The way you acted was incredibly rude and immature. You can remedy the situation with the dancers by tipping them a lot and (not or) telling them how beautiful they are and how sorry you were that you were rude, but you were just so overwhelemd at first.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    So a version of this happened to me once at one of the clubs in midtown, I was "well dressed" - I think it was after a meeting. Anyway, *three* dancers grabbed me when I came in, none of whom I thought was really that fun, but I couldn't even see the stage as I had one on my lap (!!) and two at the small table. I was saying to myself, oh shit, I must look like a tourist.... I couldn't get a word in edgewise, and then the drink orders started. I got up and was like, "look at the time!" and I left. I'm sure they were laughing at the broke-ass "tourist" but I just went to another club, and sat right next to the stage. For some guys though, that is what they want.

    One fun thing to do is get a stack of bills, get one of the dancers to sit with you at or near the stage, and play how much should I tip her? The dancer sits with you, and recommends how much to tip, with commentary. Then at the end you give her a "consulting fee" of the total amount you tipped the others. If you're in a club alone it is a lot of fun.

    I did this and had a great afternoon. If there's only one club and only a few dancers, and you don't click with any of them, I guess you have to chalk it up to a rainy day and come back some other time.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Quote Originally Posted by babb View Post
    The avoidant thing isn't cute and makes you look like a creepy/ abusive asshole. You aren't going to hurt our feelings by telling us you have another girl or that you aren't interested right now, but you WILL hurt your chances of getting a dancer by being a dick, even if you weren't doing it on purpose. The way you acted was incredibly rude and immature. You can remedy the situation with the dancers by tipping them a lot and (not or) telling them how beautiful they are and how sorry you were that you were rude, but you were just so overwhelemd at first.
    So him saying no thanks to a private, her following him to his table, him giving another obvious signal he's not interested by saying he didn't want to buy her a drink and her asking for a private again was him being creepy, abusive, an asshole, a dick, rude and immature? And he should tip and compliment her for it? Come on. He could have handled it better but he wasnt any of those things and he sure didn't need to make it up to anyone. She didn't get the sale and decided to be petty about it and screw everyone else out of his money.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    ^^^you've never worked on our side so you can't see it the way we do.

    In my opinion he came across as kinda whiney. There are high pressure buy from me people in every industry.

    You come to the club occasionally. Crossing that chic for a paltry sum isn't always worth it. As a performer u get daily drama from her.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    I rarely agree with customers on here but I'm on their side with this one. Every guy who comes into the club isn't obligated to spend money on whatever dancer approaches him. The OP wasn't really being rude he was just trying to tell her no without being direct, which he needs to learn how to do. If a guy is giving me signals he isn't interested I excuse myself and move on. I think some dancers either can't read these signals or can't handle being turned down.

    Also.. I definitely know the vulture hustle works! Those girls who attack customers walking in may eventually end up in champagne rooms. But I still can't stand it and will stick to my own less aggressive approach lol.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Guys complain to me about the vulture hustle. They say it is annoying. I have a laid back hustle that doesn't seem like a hustle and I do well with that.

    Op, just be polite yet direct next time.

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  35. #20
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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Quote Originally Posted by BobbleHead View Post
    So him saying no thanks to a private, her following him to his table, him giving another obvious signal he's not interested by saying he didn't want to buy her a drink and her asking for a private again was him being creepy, abusive, an asshole, a dick, rude and immature? And he should tip and compliment her for it? Come on. He could have handled it better but he wasnt any of those things and he sure didn't need to make it up to anyone. She didn't get the sale and decided to be petty about it and screw everyone else out of his money.
    If she were following him I doubt she voluntarily "followed" him in a vulcher like state. she could have been escorting him to the table because it was dark and he could have tripped or to show him to the best tables like a hostess.

    It's possible to close sales at least 50% of the time even if potential customer tell you no thanks the first time.

    Yes! Paying someone to get them to do what you want is not an unknown phenomenon. He could have said hey bubbles I'm not interested in a dance in fact I'm waiting for sparkle so feel free to make your rounds and here is $10 for checking in on me and chatting. Also Paying someone to leave is common - ever heard of Charlie sheens motto and know one major reason why married men love escorts/strippers moonlighting as escorts???

    It's possible she ran her mouth (put her own spin on the situation) after being rejected and that soured the tone for everyone however sometimes when you try to spare a persons feelings ironically you end up hurting their feelings more than if you'd just been assertive from the jump.

    Unless this guy is new to strip clubs, lacks finesse in communicating with people, and actually spent money in the club then he is failing to take responsibility for his role. Had he done this I guarantee he would have had a smoother outcome.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 04-02-2017 at 11:42 AM.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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  37. #21
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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    If she were following him I doubt she voluntarily "followed" him in a vulcher like state. she could have been escorting him to the table because it was dark and he could have tripped or to show him to the best tables like a hostess.

    It's possible to close sales at least 50% of the time even if potential customer tell you no thanks the first time.

    Yes! Paying someone to get them to do what you want is not an unknown phenomenon. He could have said hey bubbles I'm not interested in a dance in fact I'm waiting for sparkle so feel free to make your rounds and here is $10 for checking in on me and chatting. Also Paying someone to leave is common - ever heard of Charlie sheens motto and know one major reason why married men love escorts/strippers moonlighting as escorts???

    It's possible she ran her mouth (put her own spin on the situation) after being rejected and that soured the tone for everyone however sometimes when you try to spare a persons feelings ironically you end up hurting their feelings more than if you'd just been assertive from the jump.

    Unless this guy is new to strip clubs, lacks finesse in communicating with people, and actually spent money in the club then he is failing to take responsibility for his role. Had he done this I guarantee he would have had a smoother outcome.
    I don't have an issue with someone who doesn't take the first "no" for an answer and tries again. That should be expected in all sales related jobs. What I took issue with is that if this is someone's approach they better have a thick skin and be ready for the second "no" to be more assertive or passive aggressive from people who don't know how to be assertive. That means not taking it personal and going and bad mouthing them around the club so that nobody else can sell to him.

    As far as paying someone to go away, to me that's the same as a dancer that trains a customer to hang out for free. I don't expect her time for free and she shouldn't expect money for showing up. Yes, I know the old saying about "you're not paying for sex you're paying them to leave after". Not the same though.

    I respect your inside opinion and experience on this but there is also the customers side too and from what the op stated this girl reacted unprofessionally and maybe shouldn't be using such an aggressive hustle if she can't take the rejection that can come from it without poisoning the well for everyone else.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    So a version of this happened to me once at one of the clubs in midtown, I was "well dressed" - I think it was after a meeting. Anyway, *three* dancers grabbed me when I came in, none of whom I thought was really that fun, but I couldn't even see the stage as I had one on my lap (!!) and two at the small table. I was saying to myself, oh shit, I must look like a tourist.... I couldn't get a word in edgewise, and then the drink orders started. I got up and was like, "look at the time!" and I left. I'm sure they were laughing at the broke-ass "tourist" but I just went to another club, and sat right next to the stage. For some guys though, that is what they want.

    One fun thing to do is get a stack of bills, get one of the dancers to sit with you at or near the stage, and play how much should I tip her? The dancer sits with you, and recommends how much to tip, with commentary. Then at the end you give her a "consulting fee" of the total amount you tipped the others. If you're in a club alone it is a lot of fun.

    I did this and had a great afternoon. If there's only one club and only a few dancers, and you don't click with any of them, I guess you have to chalk it up to a rainy day and come back some other time.
    You really know how to whoop it up^!


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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Been in a similar situation lol. In a scenario like this I find it best NOT to ignore the girls. Ignoring an annoying 3yr old that's trying to get your attention or a rise out of you is great and works everytime. Ignoring a person that's trying to sell you something and who depends on the money she makes by selling you that something is entirely a different thing. She relies on weak and polite guys to give in. You have to be assertive and look at her and let her know you DON'T want a dance not now not in 5min not today! Now you don't have to be rude about it (necessarily) just be nice and if she is persistent you should be too. IMO I'd ask her if I buy you a drink will you leave me alone and let me enjoy myself. Again this statement I would use as a last resort. But that would get the message across. Since clearly she already thought you were an ass, even though I believe you weren't. Sometimes people have bad days or just fall short when it comes to handling rejection gracefully. I even find that in a case like this being overly nice and sweet yet firm, you might even end up chatting with her. Just ask her about her day and I find if someone is having a rough day and is able to talk about it. It helps calm everything down including a hustle. Hell who knows you two might end up hitting it off and getting dances anyways lol.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    Try something like , I came in here to see so and do. Say a name, any name, and if the pushy dancer is like " there's no one here by that name say " maybe that was her real name, I don't remember" if she really wants to get nosy and ask well what does she look like be vague blond thicker or thin brunette or whatever. I personally don't feel let down if someone tells me they are waiting on someone.

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    Default Re: Can't stand this

    I think you handled the initial interaction as best you could, and I don't blame you for being annoyed, especially with her going around trying to put off other dancers from you.

    However, trying to call her out on it or speak to a manager didn't help matters. Strippers and customers alike do immature shit in the SC, sometimes to each other and sometimes to one another, and it almost never helps to cause any sort of scene. I don't blame the dancer, immature as she was, for refusing to come out and talk to you - I would be scared to come out and see an irate customer who sent back a waitress because he wanted to "talk to me" too. What were you planning to say to her? I can't think of anything that wouldn't have come off as shitty as she already thought you were. That conversation would not have resulted in her going back to the other dancers that she had spoken to and saying "Oh yeah, we talked it out, he's a totally cool guy, you should dance for him."

    Next time, you could just act surprised and say something like "Oh, well, I don't know why she would say that. I just told her that I didn't want a dance from her right now. But if you're friends, that's cool. Come see me if you'd like to do some private dances." Then go back to your table and start scoping out other girls. I understand your frustration, but if the dancer you liked said "I don't want that drama" - then don't respond by being dramatic and trying to track down people to bitch out. Act cool, like you have no idea why anyone would think you're drama.

    At that point, either the dancer is still going to avoid you because she is friends with the other dancer or doesn't want to cause trouble, but you'll be shopping around for other girls at that point - or she'll be like "Hell naw, I'm not friends with her," decide the other girl is full of shit, and wander over to your table for money. Don't let a bad apple spoil your night or throw you into a tizzy trying to get back at her. Keep acting like a model customer, and eventually, I'm sure the other girls know that that dancer gets pissy and talks shit about customers, and they'll ignore it if you keep being nice to them.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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