Omg I literally want to cry my eyes out . I told my bf yesterday what happened. He said he will think of something and figure it out since I don't have a job anymore . I have been asking him to move in together . We have been dating almost 3 years . This morning he sent me links of some jobs which 1 cashier , 1 housecleaning job at hotel last one is cleaning job at gym . They pay around 10-11$ . I got so mad . First of all I have anxiety , I don't have license . Finally my bf taught me how to drive . However I have bipolar disorder , i am very anxious it will take me a while to gain confidence . I have been takin uber to work which costs 10$ one way . I could afford uber when I make 200$ minimum .
If I work regular Job if they pay me 10-11 let's say if I make 80$ a day 20-30$ would be going uber expenses ! My bf knows that ! I got so offended . I got so mad . I told him I can't work at a heavy job like cleaning to make 50$ a day . Live in very low life standards that way I can stay in America and see his face Friday to Friday to bang him few times . He told me I am being a bitch

if I work at such a job I barely can pay my rent it's 650 with utilities . I will be making barely 50$ ! I won't be able to go to school , get a break , have money to myself or afford anything !!! If I will do such a low paying job I can go back to Europe! At least I wont have to pay rent ,I would live with my mom I can get bus or subway to work . There are many jobs in USA pays 10-12$ besides cleaning or cashier jobs . Idk why his dumb ass thought that's all I could do ! I would waitress at least! When he said he would help I thought he was gonna find us place to live together.
I talked to my mom . She wants me to sell everything and go back . She told me I should not waste my time with my bf or get into any hopes . I seriously got tired of it . Especially after what he is done . I can find many regular jobs better than cleaning especially!!! However I don't have license , I have anxiety ! I have no car!
I will look for jobs next few days , apply for clubs if I can't find anything I guess I will return . I really don't want to talk to my bf or text back . Somehow I got so cold . If I leave I literally wanna leave him without explanation! I deserve a stability, normal life so I can go back to college. However he is wasting my time . Promises but nothing happens I cried yesterday , I told him I feel like i don't deserve to be happy ! He knows how much I do suffer right now . Only thing I asked from him a warm house , he can be there for me, stability for me , shared expenses ( since he has GI bill rent won't be an issue ) . Am I asking for too much??? However his solution is bunch of cleaning it cashiering jobs for me ! Fuck this!!!
Bookmarks