I'm pretty much "friend-less" at this point. The reason why is making me depressed af.
I got a car after a terrible car crash within a couple months and coming out of 3 abusive relationships and people started asking me how I was able to afford a new car after all three exes wiped my bank accounts dry and I stupidly told them "Oh I do sex work on the side" and well now... I have no friends. I literally have no one to talk to. I have no one to go to raves or concerts with or smoke up with or go to the beach or anything. Girls night is like some foreign concept to me. My guy friends think they can just do whatever they want with me now and I had to block almost every single guy I have talked to. One of them confessed to me that he had desires to "rape me" I had no idea what to do or say, I just drove him to where he needed to be and said "get away from my car... please" and he was like "but the weed I gave you makes everything better right?" I told this guy i was seeing that I got raped at my last escort date, I thought he'd understand because he told me he used to have women be a sugar mommy for him and instead he says "It's not rape because you were asking money for it and they gave you money" (even tho they literally ripped it out of my hands and tried to run me over with a car but whatever)
Recently I logged on facebook an my whole family has been pretty much begging me to leave facebook for my sanity and mental health (they know what I do and are generally supportive) and I decided to do so because I just found out that a group chat I was in found my web cam stuff and decided to post it all over the group chat. Like way to disrespect my privacy even if it was meant to be funnny thaaankksss.... NOT.
So I just got rid of my facebook because pretty much the only thing that was happening on facebook for me was that I was getting harassed by people from my past when I used to use hard drugs. I was smoking ice and crack and I quit cold turkey because I thought weening off it was just a waste of time and it just made me have mood swings. I'm either manically happy now or depressed.
My best girlfriend has a girlfriend now so I'm pretty much dont exist to her anymore. Her friend that I became friends with just asks me DUMB QUESTIONS about escorting and won't really talk to me anymore.
Like it's so annoying.
I decided to go to a party this weekend by myself, and I'm hoping it will be a good thing for me to learn how to have fun by myself but I just feel sad and I don't know how to stop people from disrespecting me. I dont tell anyone new I meet what I do anymore, but this has been bumming me out.