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Thread: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

  1. #1
    Feb 2017
    Thanked 42 Times in 23 Posts

    Default People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    I'm pretty much "friend-less" at this point. The reason why is making me depressed af.

    I got a car after a terrible car crash within a couple months and coming out of 3 abusive relationships and people started asking me how I was able to afford a new car after all three exes wiped my bank accounts dry and I stupidly told them "Oh I do sex work on the side" and well now... I have no friends. I literally have no one to talk to. I have no one to go to raves or concerts with or smoke up with or go to the beach or anything. Girls night is like some foreign concept to me. My guy friends think they can just do whatever they want with me now and I had to block almost every single guy I have talked to. One of them confessed to me that he had desires to "rape me" I had no idea what to do or say, I just drove him to where he needed to be and said "get away from my car... please" and he was like "but the weed I gave you makes everything better right?" I told this guy i was seeing that I got raped at my last escort date, I thought he'd understand because he told me he used to have women be a sugar mommy for him and instead he says "It's not rape because you were asking money for it and they gave you money" (even tho they literally ripped it out of my hands and tried to run me over with a car but whatever)

    Recently I logged on facebook an my whole family has been pretty much begging me to leave facebook for my sanity and mental health (they know what I do and are generally supportive) and I decided to do so because I just found out that a group chat I was in found my web cam stuff and decided to post it all over the group chat. Like way to disrespect my privacy even if it was meant to be funnny thaaankksss.... NOT.

    So I just got rid of my facebook because pretty much the only thing that was happening on facebook for me was that I was getting harassed by people from my past when I used to use hard drugs. I was smoking ice and crack and I quit cold turkey because I thought weening off it was just a waste of time and it just made me have mood swings. I'm either manically happy now or depressed.

    My best girlfriend has a girlfriend now so I'm pretty much dont exist to her anymore. Her friend that I became friends with just asks me DUMB QUESTIONS about escorting and won't really talk to me anymore.

    Like it's so annoying.

    I decided to go to a party this weekend by myself, and I'm hoping it will be a good thing for me to learn how to have fun by myself but I just feel sad and I don't know how to stop people from disrespecting me. I dont tell anyone new I meet what I do anymore, but this has been bumming me out.

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  3. #2
    Veteran Member buttonpop's Avatar
    Feb 2015
    Thanked 925 Times in 271 Posts

    Default Re: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    I'm so sorry that all your friends are judgemental and not accepting of your job. Good riddance to them. You are fortunate that your family is so understanding and I would try to focus on spending quality time with them until you're able to meet new people.

    I agree that deleting facebook was a good idea. You also might want to be more careful who you tell about your work from now on- not everyone will always be understanding and sometimes its better for people to not know. (there's lots of threads about this if you want to do a search). You're always welcome to talk about work on here if you need someone to talk about it with. Even though many people in my life know I'm a dancer, I've gotten in the habit of rarely talking about work except for on here and it has positively improved my life in many ways.

    There are a lot of ways that you can meet new people and make new friends (There's a lot of threads about this too.) However, I would highly suggest doing a little bit of self-examination and self care before you go out and meet new people. It sounds like you've had a very stressful and traumatic couple of years, and attractive lots of judgemental, negative or abusive people into your life. I would highly suggest looking into a book called You Can Heal Your Life. It sounds cheesy yes, and the book looks like a typical cheesy self-help book, but a lot of girls on this forum swear by it including myself. When you really learn to heal and love yourself, you can change the quality of people who are naturally drawn to you and begin to attract friends who are loving, understanding, and any other character traits that you value.

    Congratulations on quitting hard drugs. That is a huge accomplishment!! Have you considered going to therapy to deal with your mood swings? Swinging between maniaclly happy and depressed sounds like possible bipolar symptoms. You don't have to feel this way-- there are tons of ways you can balance out your moods from medication to talk therapy to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or a combination of all three. I would highly suggest making an appointment with your primary care doctor and having a conversation with them about your mood swings and they can point you in the right direction from there.

    Good luck!

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  5. #3
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Mar 2009
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Thanked 8,249 Times in 3,242 Posts

    Default Re: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    Sorry this happened. I've been betrayed, disrespected & harrassed by people who find out about my stripping. Put it this way, this is why I have a huge smile on my face at my day job.

    You sound young & honestly part of your 20s is leaving loser friends behind & growing into your own life.

    Can you take a part time job somewhere & meet people that way? So they always know you as "kendallkushxo from work."
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..

  6. #4
    Veteran Member
    Oct 2010
    Thanked 465 Times in 158 Posts

    Default Re: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    Aww girl I love going to raves and shows and the beach and smoking up...there's plenty of like minded people out there. It definitely sounds like you should take some time to yourself for now though and hang with your family like buttonpop suggested. Maybe take a class or find a new hobby so you can meet some new people and cheer yourself up and bit. *hugs*

  7. #5
    Featured Member Cashmere Star's Avatar
    Dec 2013
    Thanked 1,436 Times in 538 Posts

    Default Re: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    Good riddance. Those "friends" were probably holding you down anyway. Time for a fresh clean slate and find new friends to hang out with. A lot of people like to go to raves and do fun stuff, you'll find people soon.

    Weekly earning target: $1000
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    What would "future you" want you to do right now?

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  9. #6
    Senior Member msjoiparker's Avatar
    Mar 2016
    Thanked 89 Times in 55 Posts

    Default Re: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    I can totally relate. My cousin kept talking about how she was having problems with money I SUGGESTED phone sex and I got looked at ssooo sideways.

    My square friend then found out (the one I've made a thread or 2 about) and has since made several attempts to guilt trip me about "not knowing my worth"

    All my life I've been the black sheep of my family. We've had fall outs for years at a time. They would call themselves trying to repair our trauma...Only to renig when I I don't kiss their ass...SMH

    Since then learned to shut my ass up. Of course the "why are you so quiet" questions still arise but I don't dignify it with a response

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  11. #7
    Veteran Member
    Sep 2010
    Thanked 1,332 Times in 470 Posts
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    Default Re: People showing their true colors/struggling making and keeping any friends

    Good riddance to those people. I am compulsively honest and in a way weeds people out. I should love myself enough to not care, but what's that saying you hear a lie loud enough and long enough you start to believe it. I donate to charity, tip my Starbucks lady, yet all people see is "stripper". I really hate people right now to be honest. I'm not a saint, but I'm a really good person and people think they can treat me like shit because I don't have a social sanctioned way to pay for my basic needs. Fuck those people seriously. He without sin can cast the first stone......
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 05-12-2017 at 05:22 AM.

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