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Thread: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

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    Featured Member EvilChick1989's Avatar
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    Default I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    As a lot of you may know I have birth to my baby in January. I lived in a very abusive situation and since I had perinatal depression and saw a psychiatrist then I was being treated then I devoloped severe postpartum depression made a mistake and moved to Ohio with my babies dads mother. She seemed so supportive and wanted to help us get back on our feet etc. I kept deteriorating to the extremes begged her to bring me back to Minnesota with my son to go get my old help back.
    On April 2nd I voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric unit to better min life for my son and myself and be the mom I always wanted to be. However while I was in the hospital she exaggerated allegations against me and made false allegations and got temporary custody of my son. She also threw me out of her home so I'm homeless now here in Ohio. I was at a homeless shelter but stay with a friend temporarily now.
    All legal aide and financial services has deni s me in this state. She also doesn't follow the court ordered visitstation and had my visits reduced behind my back. I have to go to legal services which is only for criminal cases but the clerk kept saying please go tell them your story they might help you. I'm going there on Monday. I feel the only option I have is to terminate my parental rights just so I can go. It breaks myheart to lose my son but I can't fight anymore. I have ptsd and right now this Is setting me off to the extremes. I'm not trying to hide behind my illness and I'm glad I went inpatient and got my meds situated. I just wish I had my son.
    Im homeless I have nothing. I'm in Ohio all free legal services have denied me. Is there anyone's who can please offer me advice on what I can maybe do? I don't want to lose my son but it feels like terminating my rights is the best I can do and I'm homeless I can tell care for my son. I know his family will never let me see him again. I already messed up and cussed my sons grandmas out but i did I in a way that someone will see my side of th story some way.


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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    *hugs* I'm so sorry you're going through that... I don't have kids, but I've been through mental illness/extreme physical and mental burnout, and I feel for you. There's only so much a person can take, before your mind and body are just done. It sounds like you've got a lot stacked against you, and it would be a long and difficult fight to keep parental rights. Honestly, just from personal experience, sometimes pushing yourself too hard makes things worse. Be careful and take care of yourself. You need downtime, relaxation, and comfort more than ever right now, even if that is the last thing on your mind.

    I think you should see what happens on Monday, and go from there. Please keep us updated! <3

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    My honest advice, don't terminate parental rights. Move to a state with better social services & go from there. You might have to literally be homeless for a long while but if you work at it you can get to a point where you can retain parental rights.

    I don't know your situation beyond what you told me. However you do have options. Best of luck.

    edit to add- from my limited knowledge of termination of parental rights in most states, it's a long process & you going from state to state for a while shouldn't be a hazard to your case. This is where a lawyer's advice matters more. Most DV shelters will give you the info you need to handle your side of the case.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    don't terminate you rights.... you will never forgive yourself talk to online lawyer they will give free advise go to a judge if that does not work tell them your story

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    I agree with the others. Don't give up your parental rights. Here is a website that lists lawyers by state, who do pro-bono work. Maybe you can find someone here who can give you legal help.

    https://apps.americanbar.org/legalse...irectory.html#

    Do you have health insurance? If not, you should apply for Medicaid so you can get medical treatment without having to check in to a psychiatric unit. Wish you the best. Please keep us updated.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Do what you feel is right for your child.

    I believe ending parental rights is permanent and not reversible. Why not try something temporary until you get back on your feet. Dealing with the responsibilities of a baby is challenging enough but with mental health coming into play it's even more challenging.

    Besides do you want to make major life decisions while under severe depression? Your psychiatrist should have some resources to help you.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Veteran Member goddesskali's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    I can't offer any advice, but just wanted to send some love your way.

    I've had my struggles with Bi-Polar Depression and one thing I constantly have to remind myself is that everything happening is temporary. So I try not to make any major decisions when I'm in a depressive state.
    Your child is safe for now. Get yourself to a better place mentally before making any final decisions.
    It's not about what you do for a living, it's about who you want to be.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Thank you everyone. I'm once again about to be homeless tomorrow but hopefully getting this hotel room until I can leave this weekend to my friends house. Tomorrow is Munich last visit with my son :/


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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Do. Not. Terminate your rights! This will pass - you can never get them back. You are staying with a friend - good. Clean her house, do whatever you can to keep that for a bit. Focus on some income. No matter what your son's grandmother says she can't take your son permanently without your consent. Do Not give it! Even child support obligation does not mean you lose parental rights. Only abuse and you signing them away can result in that. Don't do it.

    Focus on income. It will make you feel better. With a few dollars, you'll feel human again. In a few months, when you have a job and a place, you'll be able to force the custody issue. The law will be on your side. Find any job that makes you happy, no matter how little it earns. Make sure you're stable, then start the battle for your son.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    The only good thing about hitting rock bottom is that things will go up from here. Many great stories, religions and world myths talk about a death (or rock bottom) followed by a glorious rebirth or resurrection. Think of yourself as Phoenix in a down cycle and plan your glorious rebirth. Develop a plan. Be optimistic, but realistic.

    The baby's grandmother is a conniving and evil bitch, but, right now she has your baby, so you should try reasoning with her. You are in NO position to fight her right now. Maybe the two of you can reach some agreement and develop a plan together. Tell her you understand her concerns and that you want to get your shit together. Come up with short-term and long-term goals and talk to her about it. Maybe she can agree to let you visit your child for now and take him back when you are in a more stable emotional state and have a steady job. If possible, have her sign a written agreement that she agrees to return your child when you reach a goal - for example, having rented a home and kept a steady job for 6 months. But, do not admit to mental instability, homelessness, etc. in writing, because it can and will be used against you.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    I have been through something kind of similar. I do not think that you should terminate your parental rights. Once you do you cannot ever get them back. I'm going to PM you.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    What does your gut tell you to do? I hate getting advice, so here's my story-take what you like and leave the rest. I went to a DV group and a women their said she let her husband have custody because she was exhausted from fighting and had to take care of herself. I'm sure she was ashamed for "giving up on her child." I knew exactly where she was coming from and I didn't judge her. She had to take care of herself. I am a Trauma survivor. We live in a victim blaming culture, so dont blame yourself. You are inherently loveable and worthy. You are a precious creation. You are loveable. You are enough, good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I'm sorry you are going through this. Mental illness is tough. I went to an international recovery meeting which are free. It's not fair mom's have all the responsibility. Where are the healthy grandparents or father?
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 05-12-2017 at 05:25 AM.

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    Featured Member EvilChick1989's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Thanks everyone but everything keeps getting worse. If I don't get a good sign to keep going today I'm checking out. I will make sure my son knows I love him and I tried but he's already gonna lose me forever anyway. I have tried every legal loophole I have tried to find a lawyer doing probono. I have a million other things I can't get into. I can't deal with being homeless anymore and knowing my baby is being hurt. This fucking state is so fucked Up. I'm not on here playing poor me or nothing because I know it's time to just check out because everything is broken. His dad is back in the picture now but everyone seems to forget how he wanted both my son and I to die. I don't have family I don't have shit I don't even have by baby who I never thought I would lose. The only thing I ever loved in my life. If you guys can learn anything from me go to your doctor for help with PPD and do not ever live in Ohio


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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by EvilChick1989 View Post
    Thanks everyone but everything keeps getting worse. If I don't get a good sign to keep going today I'm checking out. I will make sure my son knows I love him and I tried but he's already gonna lose me forever anyway. I have tried every legal loophole I have tried to find a lawyer doing probono. I have a million other things I can't get into. I can't deal with being homeless anymore and knowing my baby is being hurt. This fucking state is so fucked Up. I'm not on here playing poor me or nothing because I know it's time to just check out because everything is broken. His dad is back in the picture now but everyone seems to forget how he wanted both my son and I to die. I don't have family I don't have shit I don't even have by baby who I never thought I would lose. The only thing I ever loved in my life. If you guys can learn anything from me go to your doctor for help with PPD and do not ever live in Ohio


    Please reach out to this number 1-800-273-8255 they can pair you up with someone that can walk you through this.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Please understand that I'm not trying to be obnoxious by posting that but we are not qualified to handle this issue. I'm so very sorry but please reach out to people who have been vetted for this sort of thing.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Do Not let them have full custody. She knew you needed help and took advantage of your situation with post-partum depression. I would get all your medical papers together go to a social worker tell them your ex's mother took advantage of your situation and lied and slandered that you Want custody back with your son. If you can stay at your friends home until you get on your feet with your own place and a job you will get him back. You need to show your son you are a fighter that you want to prove your exes mother and ex wrong. And get your baby back. It's a shitty thing that they did that to you. And You do have family Your son! You have friends hopefully they support you and will help you.

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    Featured Member EvilChick1989's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    I tried to kill myself. I got found by the cops went to the hospital for a week....came back to no shelter at all the state of Ohio wouldn't help me with shit. I got thrown out of my storage unit I was sleeping in then had to start sleeping at the train station at night. It was awful and horrific. Luckily my friend sent me money for a hotel bc I wound up in the hospital again for something medically related. I have severe cystitis and just didn't wanna be out in the rain. My friend from Minnesota came to get me and brought me to Pennsylvania. I'm at a hotel still but I'm thankful and happy and glad to be in a state I know will help me and I'm literally 2 1/2 hours away from my son.
    The bitch who has my kid wouldn't even let me say bye to him but that's okay I have a few weeks before court in June to get shit lined up for the judge. Thanks all for the advice this is still gonna be a long hard journey but I feel better being out of Ohio


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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    ^ Glad you updated. Minnesota has good social service programs but there is a lot of opportunity to make money in PA in certain occupations. Hope you keep us up to date & I hope it gets better.

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    I have relatives in PA, it is a really good state as far as getting help, aid, affordable housing etc. Good luck to you!!!

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    My honest advice, don't terminate parental rights. Move to a state with better social services & go from there. You might have to literally be homeless for a long while but if you work at it you can get to a point where you can retain parental rights.

    I don't know your situation beyond what you told me. However you do have options. Best of luck.

    edit to add- from my limited knowledge of termination of parental rights in most states, it's a long process & you going from state to state for a while shouldn't be a hazard to your case. This is where a lawyer's advice matters more. Most DV shelters will give you the info you need to handle your side of the case.
    i agree. DONT YOU DARE TERMINATE YOUR RIGHTS
    i'm serious. don't you will regret it.
    i know its hard. believe me . but lease dont stop fighting. my bf was pushed into giving up his rights from his first son. It tears him up inside to this day bc he wants nothing more than to be a part of his life and his son's mother is a bitch and screwed it all up . if i had known him then i would have pushed him to not give up his rights and it honestly pisses me off that no one was there to help him fight for him

    You've got to keep fighting. if you keep showing up and telling your story and show that that bitch made false accusations and allegations it will come to light.

    one of my guy friends has 3 kids right. 2 of them were by his ex gf now well last year this crazy bitch told SS that he molested his kids-- he didnt and now hes going thru supervised visits and is going thru the courts to get a custody modifaction bc of this bitch.-- she did all this bc SHE brought another woman into bed with them and found out they were fucking when she wasnt around.

    so anyway please please dont give your rights up. FIGHT and dont stop !

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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Seems like your first step before anything else is working on your mind. Honestly right now you don't sound mentally fit to care for a young child. Things that help depression include exercise, eating healthy, and forcing yourself you have positive thoughts. Ig and get enough sleep. I've noticed that people i know with depression and I get worse if we are tired. Get a routine going even if it's just one thing you do at the same time every day. If nothing else seems to be Hong right that day, you have that one little thing even if it's just a minute long moment of silence. Think about what people that are happy and good at seeing the best in a situation would do and think and try to think the same. Admire life around you (ex: that woman looks really happy, those roses are beautiful and smell nice, the moon looks incredible tonight).

    Once your deppression has eased I'm betting everything else will be easier. It's hard to improve your situation when your brain is in that insane fog of negativity.

    Whether you give up your rights is your call, but I really agree that you aren't in the right state to make that call. Wait, enjoy visitation when you can get it and if your child is withheld from you bring the police into it. Just try not to break down over it. You'll get more done with a clear head. In the meantime find a job that is relatively way and not high stress. Having money will help only if the job isn't making your mental state worse.

    As for the meds your on, get them checked by a psychologist not at a hospital or institution. I've been there and it's a joke. I almost think they intentionally set people up to keep coming back.

    Good luck! I'm glad you didn't die and I hope you start seeing all the options around you.

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    Featured Member EvilChick1989's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    I go to my psychologist the 7th in Ohio. I actually need to get my son back in my hands he's being abused but CPS etc won't listen won't see the photos etc. my court is middle of June and I know the judge will LOVE to know she's violating court orders and has him around his father who I know WILL hurt him and have evidence I back it.
    But that's all in June. Right now I just have to keep working to pay for my hotel and see what's up here


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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    So sorry to hear this.
    Well, best of luck to you, we're all pulling for you here.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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  44. #24
    Featured Member EvilChick1989's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have hit rock bottom any advice?

    Thanks again everyone for the support things are slowly starting to progress it appears.


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