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Thread: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

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    Sad My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Its been a really difficult past 2 years I pretty much hit rock bottom. I was homeless and barely surviving living check to check but still helping my sis with her new born financially. I dug myself and fam out the rut hustling two vanilla jobs but besides being exhausting I was barely breaking even. I had an "sd" that I met on Ashely Madison a while back but I saw him sporadically and he wasn't at all generous, more like a John. Fast forward I started school but had to quit one of my jobs, I met an awesome SD he was kind and I barely saw him because he had a sick child so couldn't visit my city often but would still send me my monthly allowance. He recently broke it off his words " I had to stream line things" not sure if I did something wrong but it sucks because its coming at the worst time I have finals and a mom with failing health. I pretty much was playing catch up these past few months so everything I made went towards bills. I have 2 grand saved but now I'm stuck and don't know how to get back in the game. I used to use SA but its seems its all back page guys now and I don't want to get caught up because I'm desperate.

    Any advice, I'm receptive to the good and the brutal I just don't know where else to go. My plan was to officially go pro, I'm getting a shoot done but then I'll have to pay for advertising and hotels and it starts to get expensive and I can't afford for it to fail. I've read previous threads so I'm working on a site but I'm scared to use eros because of competition and being new. I'd be up for trying to free style Sd's in the city but I'm terrible at it solo I feel so out of place even if I look the part and I have no clue how I'd go about meeting other sex workers.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Also considering dancing but I'm in NYC, and I've got as much rhythm as a turtle. I can wine a bit but I can't do any tricks and I've never been near a stripper pole. I'm 5'7 thin with a little booty but completely flat chested. Urban clubs are pretty much out the question, I thought of trying scores or New York dolls since its close to my school and I don't have anything to lose.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    You don't have to have rhythm to dance, you just have to move very sensually (slowly). If I were you I'd go dance and maybe you'll meet potential SD/clients there.
    Dress to kill the wallet.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Prettyglitter View Post
    You don't have to have rhythm to dance, you just have to move very sensually (slowly). If I were you I'd go dance and maybe you'll meet potential SD/clients there.
    Exactly what I was going to say. And with minimal start up costs or risk. All you need is an outfit and shoes. There's tons of info on dancing in NYC on this site too fortunately.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Prettyglitter View Post
    You don't have to have rhythm to dance, you just have to move very sensually (slowly). If I were you I'd go dance and maybe you'll meet potential SD/clients there.
    Most dancers I've met did gymnastics or loved dancing in general before they started stripping, so I've been pretty intimidated.

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    Veteran Member Spicecake's Avatar
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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Legz541 View Post
    Exactly what I was going to say. And with minimal start up costs or risk. All you need is an outfit and shoes. There's tons of info on dancing in NYC on this site too fortunately.
    I've been researching but I might be going about it wrong I've been looking at the club reviews which are a few years old.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Yes, the Club/Reviews section is outdated, but you can get an idea. Call to make sure clubs still open for biz
    Also, I look in tuscl.com it's for custies but again to get an idea
    Donna Diabla has some great SD advice, she has a thread in Hustle Hut.
    There's SD threads in a few section here, including this one
    Good luck


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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Do not overthink. Dance critics are at the ballet, not the strip club.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    If I were you I would try dancing while still on the SD sites. All you need is some heels and a short dress for many of the clubs in the city and most of the time it is free to work the first night. Dancing is like an afterthought in the clubs in Manhattan so don't worry about your skills or lack thereof.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Spicecake,
    I would suggest multiple streams of income in this industry. Normally, I would suggest something like phone sex and camming. But it seems like dancing and sugaring is where you want to be at. You could start dancing at a mid tier club while freestyling for sugar daddies at steakhouses or polo clubs. This way, you can dance while looking for potential sugar daddies. You can also sign up for sites such as Phrendly because you can find some sugar daddy type of guys. Dancing can add some good income Also I would suggest that you have more than one sugar daddies at one time. It is because the nature of sugaring has created many flakes...so you want to keep sugar daddies on a great supply. Good Luck

    Quote Originally Posted by Spicecake View Post
    Also considering dancing but I'm in NYC, and I've got as much rhythm as a turtle. I can wine a bit but I can't do any tricks and I've never been near a stripper pole. I'm 5'7 thin with a little booty but completely flat chested. Urban clubs are pretty much out the question, I thought of trying scores or New York dolls since its close to my school and I don't have anything to lose.
    Last edited by DonaDiabla; 05-10-2017 at 08:39 PM.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    If you still wanted to try escorting in addition to dancing, but don't want the associated costs of hotels work with a reputable agency. It's a good way to get your name out there before doing indy: it seems men are more open to seeing a new provider at an agency rather than Indy.

    Good luck!!

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shannon. View Post
    If you still wanted to try escorting in addition to dancing, but don't want the associated costs of hotels work with a reputable agency. It's a good way to get your name out there before doing indy: it seems men are more open to seeing a new provider at an agency rather than Indy.

    Good luck!!
    Trying an agency didn't eve cross my mind, I've pretty much only seen them on CL so I wouldn't know how to go about finding a good one.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Spicecake,
    I would suggest multiple streams of income in this industry. Normally, I would suggest something like phone sex and camming. But it seems like dancing and sugaring is where you want to be at. You could start dancing at a mid tier club while freestyling for sugar daddies at steakhouses or polo clubs. This way, you can dance while looking for potential sugar daddies. You can also sign up for sites such as Phrendly because you can find some sugar daddy type of guys. Dancing can add some good income Also I would suggest that you have more than one sugar daddies at one time. It is because the nature of sugaring has created many flakes...so you want to keep sugar daddies on a great supply. Good Luck

    I thought of phone sex a while back but I didn't have a landline. I had trouble getting verified on my freecams for some reason I tried another cam site and quit too early but I had to move back in with family so its impossible now. I was reading the Phrendly thread I'll give it another look, thank you. Honestly I was just happy to have a somewhat stable situation so I could focus on school, hunting again is already making hate men... again.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    You didn't have an SD. You had a trick with disposable income. Now he has to "streamline" things and you're shit out of luck. This is why I tell girls all the time - don't depend on your looks or what you do for a man to keep him around, you have to connect with him emotionally. This is how you get a man to not leave you high and dry. Yes it's a lot of work but that work determines how much you get out of the relationship. And even then you cannot ever depend on a guy to take care of you. Your best bet is to dance. I would never recommend for someone in this situation to start escorting. Bad things are more likely to happen to desperate people.

    The "you should have more than one SD" sounds good but the fact of the matter is REAL SDs are few and far between. There's a difference between an SD and a trick that pays the bills here and there. Multiple sources of income is the way to go but you have to be smart about how and where you invest your time. My biggest tip is find something and stick to it for at least six months before moving on to the next thing. And always have your own shit going on.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    You didn't have an SD. You had a trick with disposable income. Now he has to "streamline" things and you're shit out of luck. This is why I tell girls all the time - don't depend on your looks or what you do for a man to keep him around, you have to connect with him emotionally. This is how you get a man to not leave you high and dry. Yes it's a lot of work but that work determines how much you get out of the relationship. And even then you cannot ever depend on a guy to take care of you. Your best bet is to dance. I would never recommend for someone in this situation to start escorting. Bad things are more likely to happen to desperate people.

    The "you should have more than one SD" sounds good but the fact of the matter is REAL SDs are few and far between. There's a difference between an SD and a trick that pays the bills here and there. Multiple sources of income is the way to go but you have to be smart about how and where you invest your time. My biggest tip is find something and stick to it for at least six months before moving on to the next thing. And always have your own shit going on.

    He was one of the few good ones I've met. Trick or not, he couldn't afford me anymore and I've accepted that. Escorting takes time and attention to detail I'm definitely not rushing into it, still reading threads and a few pdfs I've been sent and working on pro photos with the end game/ plan being to start hustling in September I've heard summer time is slow so I don't want to waste money on advertising in summer. The downside to dancing is will I get hired... I'm black and I've read the rejection complaints but I won't know till I actually go audition.

    Definitely agree, I have a trick that I can call when in a bind but no guaranteed income which is what I'm trying to get back. School is my most important thing so I'm pretty much scheduling everything around that, I'm off for the summer so I'm really trying to maximize my hustle.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spicecake View Post
    Most dancers I've met did gymnastics or loved dancing in general before they started stripping, so I've been pretty intimidated.
    Try not to be too intimidated on the dance skills part. In most clubs your real money will come from dances and champagne rooms. My friend is a great example. She's always a top earner and literally just walks around on stage.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Legz541 View Post
    Try not to be too intimidated on the dance skills part. In most clubs your real money will come from dances and champagne rooms. My friend is a great example. She's always a top earner and literally just walks around on stage.
    I'm taking a Groupon pole dancing class just to get a bit familiar so I don't look like a fish flopping all over the stage, chances are I still will but I'll be a more confident fish.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spicecake View Post
    Escorting takes time and attention to detail I'm definitely not rushing into it, still reading threads and a few pdfs I've been sent and working on pro photos with the end game/ plan being to start hustling in September I've heard summer time is slow so I don't want to waste money on advertising in summer.
    This is what I meant by find something and try it out for a few months.
    Escorting is unlike any other work. Last summer was average for me but the summer before
    that I made bank. You can't take anyone's word for it.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    This is what I meant by find something and try it out for a few months.
    Escorting is unlike any other work. Last summer was average for me but the summer before
    that I made bank. You can't take anyone's word for it.
    Mhmm I might try my luck then I wrote off summer time completely based on what I've read.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Like fbsmgirl said, it comes and goes its not really something that's predictable. I made tons in the summer time and went dead in the winter, but it was complete opposite when I danced. Also about what you said about dancing, I am in no way a talented dancer, I have literally 2 basic tricks I use and good rhythym, and did great. The strip club is about creating a fantasy, so how you present yourself and create the fantasy is how you'll set yourself apart, not really your moves. Think about the character you'd like to create with your name, outfits, hair/makeup, songs, etc. Like a lot of people are saying, try to have multiple incomes so when one or some go dead you still have something to depend on.

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    @spicecake I sent you a PM, did you receive?

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    Default Re: My SD broke up with me now I'm back to square one, how to move forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by exoticelite View Post
    @spicecake I sent you a PM, did you receive?
    Yes, just sent s reply.

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