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Thread: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

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    Default How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    So for a few months I was on a role every night getting a couple champagne rooms and when Im doing good at work I love going. But for he past two weeks Ive been off my game and haven't been making my goals at all and feel like such a looser. I set these stupid goals then get upset when I'm not making them at work and I don't know what to do to get me out of this funk. If any of you lovely ladies have any wisdom to shine on this thanks!

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    Default Re: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    Don't attach your worth to how much money you make. Society (and other sex workers) will tell you that if you aren't making $XXXX a night, that you are just a lame ass ho who shouldn't be in sex work. Get the fuck rid of that unhealthy ass mentality. It's just another tactic used to shame us for the jobs we choose. It doesn't mean you shouldn't have goals, it just means you stop attaching your worth to them, and stop comparing yourself to other girls. If you are having this issue (which we all have, at some point), it is always because you are attaching your worth to your money, even if it's subconscious. It's just the capitalist patriarchy at work. You are not your income. Get rid of the idea that girls who make more are better than girls who don't. You are not how much money you make. I don't care if you are Belinda the Crack Ho who charges $15 a blow job. Your worth as a person is not determined by how much you make. Question that mentality, heavily, and then question it again.

    Also, go in with an attitude of non-attachment. Since I've been practicing this, I don't care about how much money I make, I have been surpassing my personal records again and again. It's that energy that people have when they don't care - everyone loves them, because they're not focused on what they *don't* have, they're focused on the present moment.

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    Default Re: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    Instead of focusing on the outcome as your goal, focus on the process. For example, instead of saying "My goal is to make $xxx" tonight, try this: "My goal is to go into work, only take 10 minute breaks once every 2 hours (or whatever) and spend the entire rest of the time hustling."


    That way, if the club is busy and the money is flowing you will make plenty money. If the money isn't there, then you cant blame yourself- you've done everything in your power after all!

    I've completely refocused my weekly goals away from dollar amounts and toward # of nights worked per week. It keeps me from getting into the bad-money downward spiral where you start getting worried and stressed about money and only repel it further from you.

    Become detached from the money and focus on working hard instead.
    Do your future self a favor and work hard now.

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    Default Re: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    ^^^ great advice. It's what I do... but then things get good and I start setting $ goals, then I have a slow week and need to remember, I do not make a salary, I chose this unconventional life... sometimes it's slow and that's not my responsibility, it's my bad luck.

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    Default Re: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    Quote Originally Posted by babb View Post
    Don't attach your worth to how much money you make. Society (and other sex workers) will tell you that if you aren't making $XXXX a night, that you are just a lame ass ho who shouldn't be in sex work. Get the fuck rid of that unhealthy ass mentality. It's just another tactic used to shame us for the jobs we choose. It doesn't mean you shouldn't have goals, it just means you stop attaching your worth to them, and stop comparing yourself to other girls. If you are having this issue (which we all have, at some point), it is always because you are attaching your worth to your money, even if it's subconscious. It's just the capitalist patriarchy at work. You are not your income. Get rid of the idea that girls who make more are better than girls who don't. You are not how much money you make. I don't care if you are Belinda the Crack Ho who charges $15 a blow job. Your worth as a person is not determined by how much you make. Question that mentality, heavily, and then question it again.

    Also, go in with an attitude of non-attachment. Since I've been practicing this, I don't care about how much money I make, I have been surpassing my personal records again and again. It's that energy that people have when they don't care - everyone loves them, because they're not focused on what they *don't* have, they're focused on the present moment.
    Wow yeah this is on point. I think along the same lines, sex work is perceived as "only worth it" because it can be really good money. So when the money isn't there it's easy to doubt yourself.

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    Default Re: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    I think it's some sort of weird May funk , google things about spirituality and the occult about the month of May. You aren't alone it's been so bad for me during this MayDay ass month and it was last year too and like always...lots of demonic energies and they especially love to play tricks on people on the strip clubs aka satans church lol. I know I sound crazy but google it. I clicked this thread cuz I needed help too honestly...thanks to the ladies who have their mindsets in perspective and shared I needed to hear that advice as well.




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    Default Re: How to deal with setting high expectations for yourself and not meeting them :(

    Lately I've also been trying to focus on the process as much as the outcome, reading hustle hut and trying to attract and give my attention to the customers in the club who are respectful and expect to spend money. This way I can say at the end of my shift - I only made X amount but pleasantly with pleasant people and then I'm not as mad at the job, I'm ready to try again the next night. It's also good for my energy and vibe in the club makes me more relaxed and engaging as a default.

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