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Thread: What's your response...

  1. #1
    Featured Member wish's Avatar
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    Default What's your response...

    It's no secret that most of us don't have many if any decent friends or family. In fact I was dumped by a great sugar daddy once for being too available. "Some times I wonder if you have a friend in the world." as he put it. I wasn't and still am not mad at him because it's true. After a decade of throwing toxic people out of my life and thousands of dollars on therapy I may have cleaned house a little too thoroughly. I was just happy to have someone decent to talk to. Yet I don't think I'm desperate to have just anybody in my life. I have dating prospects but I'm not interested in them. I've tried online dating (never again) and I've tried Meetup (too nervous to open my mouth like an adult when first meeting anyone male or female). Besides I don't have time to go out I have a household to run. The point I'm trying to make is how do you fight off the loneliness long enough to hide the desperation when someone decent comes along friend or mate?

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your response...

    Don't fight it because that which you resist persists. We all have feelings like lonliness etc from time to time but it's important not to dwell on it.

    I'd personally focus on other things that help me feel good. Like I'd Remember times I felt good with friends and family and just know i could replicate that feeling at anytime which would help me attract more similar moments.

    Your real friends and family will like/love you unconditionally.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your response...

    I think you need to fix the depression, rather than hide it. You cleaned house, which is probably a good thing, even though it's hard. Sometimes you're better off starting fresh. In the meantime, work on yourself -- what makes you happy? What do you like to do for fun? Where do you like to go? If you indulge in your hobbies, like taking an art class or yoga class, you can meet like-minded people while also having fun. Even if you go a few times and don't talk to anyone, it's still a success because it made you happy. When you're not depressed, you'll find that people are more attracted to you as a friend, and it will be easier to make connections.

    Also, something that helped me personally was solo travel. You can go to a new place and stay at a hostel, where there are tons of people in the same boat as you, who will want to hang out. It's pretty easy to make fast friends this way, and while they're probably not going to be able to hang out with you when you get back, it's fun and a great ego boost.

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    Default Re: What's your response...

    I agree that it is necessary to kick all the friends and family out who ridicule..judge and just overall talk shit due to our profession. It is true that many of us will only have a couple people remaining in our lives. I agree with the person above who said that you have to fix the depression as well...you attract kind, good people that way. People take advantage of those with mental disorders and it isn't right...trying to work on the depression will slowly bring improvements to your life..even if just in small ways....it's so worth it...

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    Featured Member EastCoastDancer01's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your response...

    I'm in a similar position to you OP and the way I handle it is by trying to do as much as I can to keep myself occupied, even if I have to do it alone. I go to movies by myself, go to local events, focus on hobbies, and try to be up to date with what's going on in the world. That way when I do meet someone, I don't seem like I've lived under a rock for the past few years lol. Always love yourself and be good to yourself, even if you have no one. Just focus on you and bettering yourself. And trust me, it's better to be lonely than be with shitty people, so be selective with who you let in, don't rush into relationships with anyone!

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    Default Re: What's your response...

    Quote Originally Posted by EastCoastDancer01 View Post
    I'm in a similar position to you OP and the way I handle it is by trying to do as much as I can to keep myself occupied, even if I have to do it alone. I go to movies by myself, go to local events, focus on hobbies, and try to be up to date with what's going on in the world. That way when I do meet someone, I don't seem like I've lived under a rock for the past few years lol. Always love yourself and be good to yourself, even if you have no one. Just focus on you and bettering yourself. And trust me, it's better to be lonely than be with shitty people, so be selective with who you let in, don't rush into relationships with anyone!
    Yes!!!

    I'm a loner. But I do have friends who live far away who I can count on, a great kid, and a sweet loving boyfriend. Not many friends. I've learned to be selective about who enters my life.

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    Default Re: What's your response...

    Quote Originally Posted by wish View Post
    It's no secret that most of us don't have many if any decent friends or family. In fact I was dumped by a great sugar daddy once for being too available. "Some times I wonder if you have a friend in the world." as he put it. I wasn't and still am not mad at him because it's true. After a decade of throwing toxic people out of my life and thousands of dollars on therapy I may have cleaned house a little too thoroughly. I was just happy to have someone decent to talk to. Yet I don't think I'm desperate to have just anybody in my life. I have dating prospects but I'm not interested in them. I've tried online dating (never again) and I've tried Meetup (too nervous to open my mouth like an adult when first meeting anyone male or female). Besides I don't have time to go out I have a household to run. The point I'm trying to make is how do you fight off the loneliness long enough to hide the desperation when someone decent comes along friend or mate?
    Have a pet, join some community groups or do volunteer work.

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    Default Re: What's your response...

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Have a pet, join some community groups or do volunteer work.
    get a pet (dog). Walk the dog in the park is very fun and you get to know a lot more people that you will never come cross in the club. Pick up a hobby, I do shooting sports and hiking. Been to a few meetup group for hiking, really fun. You don't have to talk with them, just join the group and show up at meet and hike together. I also did photograph, wine tasting, lacrosse, and ed soccer at sports league before. When you have something to do, you don't feel that lonely anymore. The right guy comes along, you will be like: oh hey you...I didn't see you over there. What are you up to?
    I like being alone, I just don't like being lonely.




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