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Thread: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

  1. #1
    Curious Guest Vandee's Avatar
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    Dizzy They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    I've been running into the same problem since I started sex work a few years ago. Before it was ominous and visceral, but I had no real words to put to it.

    But I think I've found it, and I'm not sure what to do with it.

    Background:
    My sexual trauma almost exclusively involves someone pursuing me and acting on that pursuit without my consent. My natural survival instinct here is to act like I enjoy what is happening and wait for the opportunity to leave. I am in trauma therapy to address these things.

    What I Believe To Be The Trouble:
    Acting out something for someone else's sexual gratification is pretty much exactly what I do as a camgirl and PSO. Because this, almost so obviously, mirrors my sexual trauma, the experiences I have online are bringing up traumatic feelings.

    What Do I Do Now:
    I have some ideas. Before, the feeling kept getting so intense and I didn't know where it was coming from or why so the only thing I could do to relieve it was take a break from what I was doing (stripping, camming, PSO).
    Now that I have a clear and distinct understanding of what the feeling is and where it is coming from, what do I do with that?

    Because, while these things are so similar, they are also very different.

    For example, I can log off. I can block/ban/tell people to fuck off. I can set my hours. And I'm making a KILLING financially (relative, of course). If I keep doing this and maintain the success I've achieved so far, I can accomplish all of my goals and then some. In many ways this is so EMPOWERING. But, although my intellectual and rational mind can see the differences, I'm not sure how to get that through to my emotional mind.

    If you have thoughts or feedback, I'd appreciate it. I know leaving is an option, but it's not one I care to hear about. I've left before and I'm back. I have the power of insight now.

    Working through trauma while I continue to develop my financial success through sex work is my goal. If you have tips or tricks on helping me get there, I'm all ears.

    Things I've considered but have limited experience with:
    • clips/photo sales (for the sheer ability to make money off a one-off experience, and without having to interact with anyone else)
    • less-interactive things like texting services, Snapchat sales, etc.
    • physical article sales
    • giving myself a mandatory decompression period after every call, show, etc.
    • establishing a weekly or monthly time off (something regular to look forward to if it is becoming too much)
    • establishing a regular schedule (which I somehow haven't done yet)


    All that I can think of currently. If you have input, please and thanks in advance.

    Warmest wishes,
    Vandee

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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    To be completely honest with you, if you are getting triggered with past traumatic experiences I do not think that sex work is healthy for you. I understand you are making good money; but I think you should take a break and get some therapy and find something else to do in the meantime. No amount of money is worth your sanity.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    I agree with Gia. It doesn't sound like a good fit. You could try to find a niche that doesn't trigger you, but it might not be worth the struggle, when you could just get a vanilla job and make a consistent paycheck. There are a lot of careers out there. Personally, I only do sex work in short bursts when I need the money, because I had some trauma early in this career and I can only handle the stress of stripping/camming for so long.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    ^^^what they said!

    Please don't act out something in your career that is influencing you negatively in your personal life because it's not helping you it's only increasing the emotional stress.

    Either do different non related themes or go into a different career.

    And make sure to get support from positive trustworthy people.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess minniesoporno's Avatar
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    Default Re: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    Honestly you won't be able to keep up with it for a long period of time. because your mind will shut down or worst your body will freeze or become painful to function or have sex.

    So while you are able to work you need to find something else you can do. The only way you can completely heal is to not have a constant trigger response in your daily life.

    it's coming from experience.
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    Curious Guest Vandee's Avatar
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    Default Re: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    Just wanted to take a second to reply to all of you and tell you thank you - genuinely - for your feedback.
    I didn't want to hear it, but what you're saying is true.
    Like an abusive relationship, I wanted to stay for one good thing when I was swimming in a sea of toxicity.
    Thank you for the push in the right direction.

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    Default Re: They say this is an acting job... (Trauma and Sex Work)

    I can confess stripping and escorting really sapped all the fun out of my personal sex life. It's sad. I used to have a passionate porn reel like sex life & now it's like .....nonexistent.

    Oddly enough it makes retirement seem like a heavenly goal instead of some sort of dis-empowerment.

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