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Thread: I love my job but I hate men

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    Default I love my job but I hate men

    I really love dancing, and I've been dancing now for about 5 years on and off. It's so much fun when you get the right customers and everything is wonderful and the money is flowing. But when it's bad, it's BAD. As the years go on- I'm tired of the mansplaining, rude men, and men who expect things to be done for them (for free and for money!). I used to play along and I just have no patience anymore. I really tell myself that it's just a fantasy and you entertain them to get in their pocket and they go home alone and poor. haha.

    Just lately, I have been harboring a lot of hate for all men outside of work- the ones on the street and in the same shared public space as me. I don't feel paranoid or scared, just annoyed and like I know deep down how they all really think. When I take breaks from dancing, I feel like I can see the world from a better perspective. When I go back to work, it really is a twist in mindset and I deal with it emotionally during, and after my shift is over. That all being said, I really do love dancing. I love performing on stage and I even do like the interactive part. It's just the majority of men that open their mouth and say something misogynist or dumb. Maybe I just needed to get this all off my chest. Would love to hear your thoughts on it.

    *edit- I have a long time partner, and it doesn't affect our relationship. Just how I view the world. He's very understanding and listens to me vent.

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    God/dess minniesoporno's Avatar
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    Default Re: I love my job but I hate men

    Well not all men are like that . its just the environment they are in they pretty much loose all common sense and even respect.

    once you basically take a hiatus from the work you have more of a filter of which men you want to be around or which ones you just completely ignore.

    If your primary relationship is good then spend that time keeping that relationship alive.
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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I love my job but I hate men

    I know what you mean. It's a job that requires a looot of tolerance and thick skin to get through the BS. I've found that I can only do sex work if I'm also hustling toward another vanilla career opportunity, using stripping as a step up to obtain another goal. I at least need the option to make money in a less stressful way/without being groped and harassed.

    However, I've found that even supposedly great, respectable vanilla jobs can come with huge amounts of stress and negativity. People can be dicks in any setting. Problems can be a lot worse when you are in a vanilla job because you can't just walk away like you would in a club. You also typically make less money for longer hours, have less freedom, etc.

    Stripping is just more intensely good and bad. It hits both ends of the spectrum in rapid succession and can drive is insane a lot faster than most other jobs.

    ETA: Just realized I rambled on without mentioning men, lmao. My perspective on men has completely changed since I started stripping 6 years ago... even time away from stripping hasn't made me stop judging them. But I've dated horrible people and have also had a negative worldview because my vanilla career that I worked so hard to get turned out to be soul-sucking, so yeah. My philosophy is, the grass isn't much greener in the vanilla world, so whatever job you're in, use what you've learned to filter out negative people and bad situations. Take good care of your mental and physical health. Focus on good relationships and positive interactions.
    Last edited by seashell; 06-06-2017 at 07:02 AM.

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    Default Re: I love my job but I hate men

    I went through this phase. It took me looking through their eyes to see that they are just products of their environment and being angry at them and hating them wont' change that. I'm a feminist to the core, I love and adore men, and I clearly see how patriarchal culture has influenced not just men, but women and the sex industry. I can see that and not blame them for it. It's not my responsibility to change them or educate them at the expense of my emotional and mental health. I feel sorry for men in today's society. They have no good role models. Can you imagine being that lost and sad and ignorant and not even knowing it?

    Fortunately, I have an incredible support group in my personal life of men who are feminists and anarchists and I love and adore them with all my heart, they showed me that men are not all hopeless. Men aren't hopeless, but unfortunately, society has brainwashed them, like everyone else, so it certainly seems like it sometimes. They are just as much victims of the patriarchy as we have been.

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    Default Re: I love my job but I hate men

    I won't say I hate men but I approach them with a demeanor and women are unattainable damn near

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    Default Re: I love my job but I hate men

    I feel ya girl. Some of them are annoying and weird af.

    Quote Originally Posted by babb View Post
    I went through this phase. It took me looking through their eyes to see that they are just products of their environment and being angry at them and hating them wont' change that. I'm a feminist to the core, I love and adore men, and I clearly see how patriarchal culture has influenced not just men, but women and the sex industry. I can see that and not blame them for it. It's not my responsibility to change them or educate them at the expense of my emotional and mental health. I feel sorry for men in today's society. They have no good role models. Can you imagine being that lost and sad and ignorant and not even knowing it?


    Fortunately, I have an incredible support group in my personal life of men who are feminists and anarchists and I love and adore them with all my heart, they showed me that men are not all hopeless. Men aren't hopeless, but unfortunately, society has brainwashed them, like everyone else, so it certainly seems like it sometimes. They are just as much victims of the patriarchy as we have been.



    Everything you said is right on the mark and I had to learn this myself recently.

    I get along better with men who have the ability to empathize with others especially women. Some men act very entitled and selfish and lack empathy especially for people in adult industry.

    And no you do not have to spend one iota entertaining these types. You can assertively lead the convo or walk away from them if the make you feel negative.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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