Ok so i'm new to this site. Ive posted on TUSCL site and just to let you know....nobody over there has a good opinion of this site and they warn guys like me about coming here. But i'm giving you a chance so please at least be respectful. I have a lot of respect for the industry and what the girls do and I never look for extras or illegal OTC kinda stuff.
I am in a crazy situation with a lovely dancer who I have madly fallen in love with, she knows but currently i'm almost friendzoned...whilst still being a regular (by choice not at her request)
I used to ask if it was a scam but I have tested her and we've had so many deep conversations (almost arguments) that I truly believe something is going on. Im just looking for advice on whats likely to happen next and what I should do.
its VERY long but honestly....if you arent gonna read EVERY detail, just kindly stay quiet because you need to know the facts. Also bare in mind that this tiny little UK club and the way things work in the States are like fire and ice...very different. Here goes....
I'm 20 and she is 24. I have been seeing her at work for 8 months (5 as a huge regular). I am in both nights each weekend. I used to spend big for my age and occupation whilst everything was professional and a fantasy. She then escalated things personally and my spending didn't overly change, she has only gained hassle from me by doing so.
I simply cannot get her out of my mind. I have never felt this way or had a connection like this with anyone. I'm shy around new people and girls in particular but I can just be so relaxed with her now. (Although thats taken time. I used to be very shy and timid around her and we often look back and joke about it) I have her real name and we have chatted on Facebook daily since February (Coincidentally just after she broke up with her most recent ex boyfriend) The FaceBook stuff is just friendly conversations, shes never asked me to visit the club or mentioned dancing or spenditure. We have had a few lengthy phone calls too. Its not always me making the moves, she'll often popup and ask me how my day has been or something like that without me initiating things.
We're in the UK, its a tiny gentlemen's club. Very cleanly ran, no drugs, extras, etc. (Trust me, I may as well live in that place) everybody knows everybody in my small town. I see the manager buying groceries almost daily. Whenever I attend the club now, i'll literally sit and chat for upto 30mins before even paying for anything. And its all mega personal stuff. I know everything about her, her family, her finances to the nearest pound and her past. I ask personal questions but she'll often give me deep info without me asking. She really trusts me.
Me and my friends are next door in a regular nightclub every weekend and she often goes there for the final hour before close. We have bought eachother many drinks and have kissed...usually hidden away in a corner because other girls are present and are eager to stab her in the back. We often share a taxi home and get out at our own apartments separately as a way to save money and make sure we get home safely. I lost my wallet once and was staying out of town. She leant me a pretty good sum of money at 5am so that I could get home. I paid her back and when I leant her money next month...she did the same. We have also exchanged birthday gifts. She has many times told me to save my money for another night rather than buying tonnes of lapdances whilst i've been drunk and rich after a casino visit.
She has recently been to my place and met my parents. She used to work in the beauty industry so she has just done my Sister's hair and makeup for her highschool prom. Other stylists quoted us £150 but she is doing it or free. It was great and so professional. She spent the entire day at my house making it perfect and used some of the most expensive brands and equipment. If anybody knew she was involved with me like this....she would be done. My parents were surprised at how lovely and well mannered she was. She truly is a sweetheart but doesn't take any shit. She also invited me to her place for the first time 2 weeks ago so that I could see her new paint and carpets in her apartment. We sunbathed on her roof and she made me lunch. She said she trusts me enough not to tell anyone.
I told her that I was falling in love with her last month and I gave her permission to laugh at me because its so stupid and unrealistic. I said "You probably think i'm lovely but will never see me in that way" she then got pretty upset. She hates when I put myself down, she says she likes me and cares deeply about me. She often reassures me and tells me to stop overthinking little things, something that I do a lot. I do worry about her. She hates me calling myself "A regular" or "Customer"
She said I would be "Perfect for her" but she is simply not looking for a boyfriend right now. I've said things like "As if you'd date a guy with my looks" and she again got quite upset and told me about one of her exes who had long hair and missing teeth but she was with him because he he was a lovely guy. She constantly reminds me that its out of our control who we fall in love with and that you simply never know whats around the corner.
She has Bi-Polar mental disorder and her most recent ex verbally abused her frequently. She has lived alone since the day she turned 18, 6 years ago and is VERY independant and stubborn, she has days where she just needs to be given space. And suffers mood swings frequently with her illness. Her Mothers boyfriend would beat her as a child and eventually set the family home on fire, leaving her to save her 3 younger sisters from the blaze even though she was just a child herself. But her life is in order now, she doesn't have many luxuries but cares very deeply about her Mom, Sister's and Dog. She is clean, just gets by and is a lovely young woman. Her Mother is also aware of me.
She knows that I fully respect and understand her job more than most guys and loves that about me, I 100% do not see her as a sexual object at all. Obviously I want her in my bed but I would rather do a million other romantic things with her before that.
I've been told "I just don't want you to wait around for me and miss out on other opportunities and fun because of me" but I have never had luck with girls and nobody else is on my scene so i'm happy to wait. When we look in eachothers eyes we just both smile and giggle. It was never like that a few months ago. We truly have grown closer and closer. My dances are often longer because she "Just loves dancing for me"
And that is clear, im like her happy place. She is sitting alone in the club looking sad then all of a sudden I come in and its like a break for her, a friendly and respectable caring face. I went on holiday last week and ended up coming home 1 day early. I planned on visiting the club as soon as I got back and when I did, she was shocked and seemed so happy. (Best part was, she said "I really miss you, I've had an awful day and need someone to talk to" via text whilst I was in the taxi at the airport WITHOUT knowing that I was coming home early) so she was truly delighted and shocked to see me.
Overall does anybody seriously think that One day I could hold her in my arms and call her mine? Obviously the whole "not being ready" thing could be a gentle letdown but she is a 10/10 and EVERYBODY'S friend in our town, but has been single for 4 months.
With the style of person that she is and the way she's been treated in the past, you can genuinely see why she may not want love right now.
I got a little bit pushy the other day. (I didn't mean it like THAT) but she felt like I was forcing her to make a decision and got a little bit upset. She said "You know I view you in that way and could be with you but I'm just not ready right now. If I got with anyone without being ready...it simply wouldnt be real or fair on them. I'll know when I am. You just can't push these things. I have so much going on with my family and in my head. But one day i'll be ready and of course i'll let you know"
We had a very serious conversation the next night. Her divorced parents have been fighting and she is stuck in the middle of it, they've phoned her whilst she's in the middle of work etc. And a customer at work touched her inappropriately (we have strict hands to the side, no touching rules). She really confided in me and seemed like she'd had enough. She was so tired and felt low. She went into great deal about her Bi-Polar disorder and explained to me in huge detail what it would be like if we were to be together due to her illness and how it affects her. I was advised to google it before we next see each other. She also said my younger age and low experience with women would be great because she isn't sexy all the time and hates guys who assume she is always ready for sex because of her job. She made it clear that i'd no longer be allowed in the club if we dated and teased that she could then give me free dances on her apartment rooftop. She wants to quit stripping in about 2 years and maybe move into Sex Phone Line work or Webcamming and apparently i'm the only person who knows of this. Its almost like she was testing me and giving me a final checklist to see if we were compatible.
Sorry for probably wasting 5 hours of your lives. Shoutout to the warriers who got to the end. Any feedback and comments are welcome. Don't just scream Pathetic Loser, Scam, etc


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