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Thread: Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

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    Default Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

    Hey ladies,


    (Scroll to the bottom if you wanna skip the long story for my actual questions)


    Last night I worked and had a guy who only had 3 beers while at the club but was clearly drunk/high whatever. At the time him and his friends were the only ones there. A coworker and I sat with them they bought us drinks, tipped us on stage and it was cool for the time being. They spoke little English so it was hard to communicate seeing as we both only knew a few words/phrases in each other's language but...one of the first thing he asked was how much for sex, which I shut down immediately.


    At one point while he was there whatever he was on really kicked in. He started saying he loved me, trying to kiss me and touch my breast/ pussy so I just kept moving back and telling him no and trying to be polite as possible while trying to hurry and gulp down the beer he got so I could run and hide from him. I go on stage again and he comes to tip me, I slide over to him thinking he's about to put a dollar in the elastic of my panties and I feel him shove the dollar halfway down my ass and so I jerk away telling him stop, no, don't touch. So then I give him another chance with my tits close to his face and he again tries to shove a crumbled up bill down my bra to play with my nipples. I grab his hand and pull it out grab the cash. I'm irritated at this point so I tell him again what I said before and then just snatched the money out his other hand with a smile and go back to the pole hoping he'll get it & go sit down. After a few minutes he's still there so I try and give him another chance and I'm standing on my knees and he tries it again shoving cash down my panties almost to my fucking pussy. So I slap/push his hand out and my manager sees so she comes over and yells at him. I finish my set thinking he's leaving but NOPE. Still there (even though I moved away from his table and sat at the bar)


    He asks again to pay me to fuck, to leave with him, trying to kiss me and shove his dirty hands down my crotch and nipples. I continually have to back away from him. I'm trying to play it cool and not make a scene cause at this point even if he wanted a dance I wouldn't give him one because I don't want to be alone with him. He was so messed up he didn't even notice how the bartender came all the way across the bar and just leaned on it directly in front of us making sure he didn't get crazy as well as the waitress stood pretty close to keep an eye on him. After a while of this going on his friend grabs him to leave he ignores him for ten minutes again asking me to leave with him and the whole shabang. Eventually he leaves(even though he can't even find the door to leave lol) and I try and forget about it.


    Fast forward a group of young 20 somethings come in and sit as I go on stage. I notice they tip on stage and two of the girls join them but I peg the guys as not having any real cash to spend. I decide to just watch them for a minute to see how they react to the other girls and if at least one of them buys a dance. NOPE the other girls are already over there flashing titties and playing with pussies. They drink just beers (during happy hour mind you) a few tip the dancers on stage occasionally. The dancers are letting them feel em up so the guys have no reason to buy dances and to try and avoid another situation I let those girls entertain them and wait to see who walks in.


    I do give a few dances throughout the night (Nice guys) then a guy comes in during my set and after (when I'm in the dressing room) the bartender comes in and says he asked for me. A girl is already on the other side of him and we talk with him (No English at all) and she squeezes my boobs, no problem, let's double team him create a 3some fantasy. He takes this as an invitation to not only squeeze but shove HIS hands all over my fucking nipples down my bra. As in his whole hand, down my bra. I have a shocked look on my face but the girl laughs and smiles and tells me she lets him do that because she knows he has a lotta ones. We go sit down with him and he does tip a lotttttt but he's completely gone over my boundary limits with kissing, feeling my nips, trying to stroke my pussy through my panties(FYI I forgot to wear extra panties so it was VERY uncomfortable). The other girl pretends to enjoy it and happily lets him do it which encourages the behavior towards me even though I keep grabbing his hands away. So while other girls on stage he starts pointing to vip. I get a Spanish speaker to explain prices and then she turns to me and says... "Yeah he wants to fuck sweetie gotta make that money somehow, it's a slow night" My head is like WTF level of holy hell am I in right now. So as soon as the other girl is off stage and with him I tell her what he's asking for, find a reason to leave and eventually they go to VIP. Not wanting to fuck for money so I'm just happy to be away from him.


    Then the group of guys who sees him doing this to me are tipping me on stage like the first guy except they do it quick and go sit back down. By this point I'm so annoyed I leave 2 hours early because I can't deal with anymore guys.


    I felt like my boundaries were very violated. (Btw a bouncer was there but useless) I generally don't even sit down with guys and let them touch me in that way (other than arms/ legs in a casual manner) or get a free show. They have to pay for a dance then they can grab my ass (not asshole/pussy) and if their nice I might let them caress my breasts (not play with nipples) and there is no fucking kissing for damn sure. I guess I backed down because if I were not double teaming the guy I would have walked away. But I didn't want to mess up the other girls money because he originally asked for just me, so I felt if I left it would somehow fuck her money up and piss her off.


    TLR


    My question is, how the hell do you get rid of a guy who is following you around the club??? (Initially I didn't want to get the manager involved because they were the only guys in the club at that point and I'm new and not wanting to cause a scene)


    How do you set boundaries for a guy who within 30sec of speaking with you crosses them even though a moment before that the girl right beside him allowed it?


    Am I crazy for not wanting some guy who's spending ones on me/ drinks not grope and kiss me because at this point as many girls I saw let them do that (cause it was a slow night) that is exactly how I feel.


    Is this normal? This can't be what all strippers get used to right???

  2. #2
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Re: Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

    I would check out Hustle Hut section on here..
    Honestly it seems like a shitty club to me
    & to put up w/all that?
    Maybe some one w/more input can jump in & help


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

    omg if there are any other clubs in your area find a new one girl. my first club was like this and i didn't know any better but NO this isn't normal! and at a club like that where all the other girls let it happen and bouncers don't care you won't make much money without letting people overstep your boundaries so i seriously suggest going anywhere else if you can, sorry you had such shitty experiences with those assholes

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    God/dess WendiStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

    It sounds like you need to find a new club. It sounds to me that your current club is the brothel type of club that is big on extra's and so the guys think that it's okay to cross boundaries and do whatever they want. I've been in your situation before at a club that was basically a brothel. The fact that another dancer was encouraging you to do a vip with a guy who wanted to fuck to make money since it was a slow night further confirms this. If you're not okay with that you need to get out asap and find a new club. If you don't you're just going to end up dealing with more of that and end up pressured into doing something that you don't want to do. That never ends well. I hope there are other clubs near you that you can go work at.

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    Default Re: Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

    Thanks for your replies! I've only worked there six days and the first few I thought that it was normal to let guys act like that. But I noticed every time I decided I needed to go to work I was angry, annoyed and had to have at least a few drinks before even setting foot in the club. Once I started reading more on here (thank God!) that made me realize their behavior was not okay. I just wasn't sure if this was the how most guys/dancers/bouncers acted in all clubs. But I'm def. planning to take your advice and start looking for a new club!
    Thanks for your advice

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  9. #6
    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Freaking Boundary Issues! LONG, Story time lol

    ^^ i just noticed you're in houston which sucks because it's kind of a rough place for a noob (hell i'm far from new and i have a rough time there), but still there are tonnnsssss of clubs there and it sounds like you can definitely do better!

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