It's not cheating until you put it into action by interacting with that persona in an inappropriate way. Finding someone else attractive. even to the point of thinking about them during sex, is completely normal.





It's not cheating until you put it into action by interacting with that persona in an inappropriate way. Finding someone else attractive. even to the point of thinking about them during sex, is completely normal.
That's what I thought like to some extent it's normal.
But inappropriate - what does that mean? I think one thing someone mentioned was frequency. Like fantasizing about your husbands best friend every other night? Or only being able to orgasm if you're fantasizing about your boyfriends brother? Etc. I was curious as to what people would consider it going over the line since technically like someone mentioned your thoughts are basically private and your partner is likely not going to know your fantasies (unless you tell them).





In my mind, "inappropriate" means acting on those fantasies in some way with the person who you are fantasizing about. I wouldn't consider just thinking about that person to be enough, regardless of when or how much you think about him/her. There are a lot of attractive and charismatic people out there and you'll drive yourself nuts if you feel guilty every time you have a lurid thought about someone other than your partner.





I can honestly say that when I was with my long term exbf, I have never had a desire or fantasized about another man. It just....my mind never went there. Even the typical guys I thought were hot, weren't even getting looked at. I didn't care.
I noticed one hot guy whose attention I was trying to get, but that was towards the end of the relationship where I was already plotting a breakup(I lost trust bc I suspected of cheating...I was right). I still wouldn't have cheated. Breakup is the way to go. I was too good to that motherfucker.
Anyway....
That said, no... I don't think it's cheating to fantasize once in a while. I get ppl are human, but for me... I just don't if I'm happy in my relationship. I'm weird, I know.
Vyanka that's exactly what I was going to say but deleted.
The only time I fantasized about another man during sex was when I came to the realization I wasn't into that dude anymore. I ditched him shortly after but I know men are different.
Ok. One more thing about inappropriate. Say the object of your desires dropped their Scarf or something and you pick up their scarf, smell the perfume, then get hard and have sex with your actual partner. This would be indirectly acting? Like from fantasy to something physical (of that person but not with that person? Would that be inappropriate or grey area or not at all?
Wow, it's been a long time. Nice to see Vyanka still on the site. On-topic. No it is not cheating. If it were, every time a guy picked up a Playboy or Penthouse mag or went on Pornhub you would have a cheater. Sometimes it takes a little inspiration to get a person in the right frame of mine and then come back to the S.O. for the real outlet.






Seinfeld say that cheating starts when the nipple makes its first appearance. (As I recall.)
I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.
Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.
NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.
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