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Thread: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

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    Veteran Member lady_lazarus's Avatar
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    Dizzy I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Wow, I almost got took for all I had ladies. Matched with this attractive 29 year old man on tinder. I was strictly looking for a hookup and thought he was too. We chat a bit and then he asks if he can call me on the phone. This is unusual but I feel like ok, he's either checking to make sure I'm not cat fishing or he's kind of charming. So we talk on the phone and he makes me laugh so much and asks if he can pick me up. Do i google search him to make sure he's not a serial killer? nope, because sometimes i'm an idiot. More on that later. He comes to get me, nice car, and more attractive in person than in his pics. We go to his place (I send my friend my location) and talk for hours and he's so funny, smart, interesting, charming, the works! I've never been so fascinated by someone and I'm usually pretty bored by men in general. We just click on every level and we hook up and it's good too. I NEVER sleep over but i felt safe there....anyway, I wake up in the morning to him cooking me breakfast. He doesn't have coffee so he goes out to pick me up Starbucks. While he's gone I look at his mail to get his full name to look up. Didn't do it at the moment but kept this in the back of my mind. He's too charming at this point and my guard is up a little (not enough tho...partially bc i just saw this as a one night thing).

    I figure thats the end of it, just a one-nighter right? He texts throughout the day and even face times me. He wants to see me again and I'm down so we hang out and talk, watch movies, he cooks me dinner, we fuck, etc. Honestly i'm in heaven. He just says all the nicest things too and has jokes for days. We end up spending pretty much every day that week and the next together. He was also so nonjudgmental. I tell him about my job as an ex-escort (lied about being retired) and all my personal issues, fears, hang ups, etc. He tells me his (or whatever lies) and so I feel like we get super close, super fast. But I just can't shake this feeling of something being off....

    He takes a trip to Spain to visit a friend (red flag) and I get to the point where I can't sleep bc this gut feeling is in overdrive. I am a strong believer in intuition. So i go ahead and finally google his name and what pops up: this woman made a Facebook post with his name and pics included about how he swept her off her feet only to ask her a month in (when she felt she was falling for him bc they got super close super fast) for a loan and then blocked her on everything once she gave him the money. So I messaged her and she had hired a PI and also had kept this post public. She had heard from about 5 other women he had done the same exact thing to...same script, same words, same everything. And about a month or two in he would ask for a loan (thousands of $$) and bounce. He even met some of the girls families! Turns out, he is also married! I was SHOOK! So I blocked him but he called me from another number. I low key guessed it was him and was curious what he had to say for himself. I confronted him and he basically went full sociopath on me--first tried to guilt trip me for going behind his back , talking shit, listening to rumors, etc. Then when I didn't budge he told me he knew where I lived and worked and wouldn't it be a shame if I got hit by a car on my way home, etc. Told me if I made him angry again he would "end me"....soooooo turns out, my lease was up at my place and I moved to a new apartment, changed my number and blocked him on everything.

    WOW dodged a fucking bullet and THANK GOD for intuition, google and that angel who posted about his scam on Facebook! GOOGLE IS UR FRIEND, lesson learned

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    What a serious lunatic!

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    That's insane!!! This is in NYC?

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    Featured Member WendiStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Glad that you moved away from him. That's scary that he threatened you like that. It doesn't surprise me to hear of a male con artist. Some men are really good at playing the role of charming dreamboat while being a professional con artist. I've been duped by that type before. He was super charming, good looking, made me laugh, except he played the military vet card. He claimed to be a military veteran returning home from war, who had returned home to find his house destroyed in a fire and lost everything. He claimed that he was living in his suv and that his veteran paycheck benefits hadn't kicked in yet so could he borrow some money for food and gas, since it was the middle of winter and he was living in his suv. Of course being the sucker that I am and having been through homelessness myself, I loaned him the money. With the arctic temps at the time I felt bad for him and let him stay on my couch. A couple nights turned into much longer than that and the money requests kept coming. He needed money for this, he needed money for that. After a month and a half of that I got fed up because he claimed that his veteran money still hadn't come and he was making no effort to find a job. He was treating me like his own personal ATM machine. I ended up googling his name and seeing that he had scammed other women out of money, too, while playing the homeless veteran card. Some people are ridiculous.

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    Veteran Member lady_lazarus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    That's insane!!! This is in NYC?
    It was in Michigan! In fact, I was thinking to myself "wow I didn't live in NYC for all those years only to be scammed in a college town in the midwest!" I like to think that living in NYC is what helped hone that intuition. The reason I felt like he was off was partially bc he was too nice lol.

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    Veteran Member lady_lazarus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    Glad that you moved away from him. That's scary that he threatened you like that. It doesn't surprise me to hear of a male con artist. Some men are really good at playing the role of charming dreamboat while being a professional con artist. I've been duped by that type before. He was super charming, good looking, made me laugh, except he played the military vet card. He claimed to be a military veteran returning home from war, who had returned home to find his house destroyed in a fire and lost everything. He claimed that he was living in his suv and that his veteran paycheck benefits hadn't kicked in yet so could he borrow some money for food and gas, since it was the middle of winter and he was living in his suv. Of course being the sucker that I am and having been through homelessness myself, I loaned him the money. With the arctic temps at the time I felt bad for him and let him stay on my couch. A couple nights turned into much longer than that and the money requests kept coming. He needed money for this, he needed money for that. After a month and a half of that I got fed up because he claimed that his veteran money still hadn't come and he was making no effort to find a job. He was treating me like his own personal ATM machine. I ended up googling his name and seeing that he had scammed other women out of money, too, while playing the homeless veteran card. Some people are ridiculous.
    WOW that is CRAZY. some people have no shame! I am also very empathetic and it's an impulse I've had to learn to control and also hide from others. I feel like i am a sociopath/con man magnet sometimes

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    Featured Member WendiStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by lady_lazarus View Post
    It was in Michigan! In fact, I was thinking to myself "wow I didn't live in NYC for all those years only to be scammed in a college town in the midwest!" I like to think that living in NYC is what helped hone that intuition. The reason I felt like he was off was partially bc he was too nice lol.
    My con artist dude was in Michigan too! Michigan has a lot of 'em.

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    Angry Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Unfortunately, they're everywhere..all shapes & sizes, varieties.
    Have heard this many, many times
    The worst part is the eldery people that get scammed, it's not like they can just go back to work.
    Some pose as friends too, & could be women as well


    Quote HK: Remember, dick gets hard, brain shuts off, money flows from the pocket.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Sorry to hear

    Yes classic sociopath. Not trying to blame you cause he's the deranged one but next time go a bit slower to get to know the person and do your background checks before going anywhere private one on one.

    Sociopaths are very charming, sweep you off your feet and they move into "relationships" at light speed so it's harder to catch onto their con game.

    They have no empathy so it's easy to get someone emotionally attached to them, use them, then ditch them for another unsuspecting target.

    And if you call them on their shit, they get angry and start projecting. They can't handle any type of criticisms even constructive.

    Be careful call popos if he dare show up at your house.

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    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Don't beat yourself up. I had an ex co worker try a mini version of this on me because he is a raging alcoholic but since I have an addict sibling I caught on to it finally. I posted about it here.

    Honestly take some self defense classes & meet guys who will defend you if some psycho makes threats like that guy did. This will sound bad but I've had plenty of male friends who would beat the shit out of a dude like the sociopath you dated. Guys view that kind of problem solving differently.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Good thing you were able to move! If a person is legitimately sociopathic, they do NOT want their ego bruised by being found out, and since they lack empathy, they are capable of anything. It's best to silently walk away and block all communication from them.

    What a nutcase. Thank goodness for the girl who posted about him on facebook. Yiiikes.

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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Those threats are called Felonies. You can NOT threaten people like that at all, it is illegal to do it. NOT that the cops are actually going to do anything about it because women have no value in our society.

    You should file a police report to add it to all the others that have been & will be filed on him in the future. Then all of the women he has scammed push the local or state DA to press charges. Until then all of ya'll with those filings can have him removed from the sites he is using to lure in new victims.

    When 5 to 100 women all file charges & then go to the news media to do a story on why the police won't do their jobs & arrest this man or the sites he uses won't ban him. Since I'm sure more than one woman has reported his criminal acts & threats of violence to those sites already. Then ya'll can so the site for allowing such predators to operate & extort money out of more women.

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    Veteran Member EastCoastDancer01's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    This is why I refuse to go on any sort of dating sites or apps! I'm so glad you are okay and were able to get away from that psychopath. What a piece of sh*t! It would be good to document proof of his threats if u have any to file a police report. This guy needs to be made aware of as much as possible! Hopefully he doesn't victimize any more women

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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by EastCoastDancer01 View Post
    This is why I refuse to go on any sort of dating sites or apps! I'm so glad you are okay and were able to get away from that psychopath. What a piece of sh*t! It would be good to document proof of his threats if u have any to file a police report. This guy needs to be made aware of as much as possible! Hopefully he doesn't victimize any more women
    Wow...scary

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Con artist are everywhere & not just on apps. Trust your instincts & do a lot of snooping around the internet no matter who you are dating or hooking up with to know more about them.

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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Lol...I thought you were talking about my ex. It was very suspenseful. You are hot commodity- you gotta protect yourself from these low lives.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Con artist are everywhere & not just on apps. Trust your instincts & do a lot of snooping around the internet no matter who you are dating or hooking up with to know more about them.

    Agree. Not just the internet. Evil is EVERYWHERE.

    That said, this chic I know looked up this guy she met on match. He turned out to be a pedophile, omg!!

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    Default Re: I dated a con artist this summer...oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    Agree. Not just the internet. Evil is EVERYWHERE.

    That said, this chic I know looked up this guy she met on match. He turned out to be a pedophile, omg!!
    I'm not surprised. I've noticed chomos have an unending expectation of being forgiven & if you research the horrorfest known as the Susan Powell case....that evil can even be a family affair.

    Don't want to threadjack but yeah. Its a rough world out there.
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