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Thread: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

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    Default When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    This is really strange and bizarre, but I can never stop thinking about my jaw position, how my teeth are sitting in my mouth, and where my tongue is in my mouth.

    When I was 12, I was sitting watching TV and this random thought just popped into my head.

    It was "I wonder if my teeth are supposed to touch when my mouth is closed...."


    I asked my aunt if her teeth touch when her mouth is closed and she said ever so slightly. My teeth did not touch when my jaw was relaxed, so there began my habit of grinding and clenching my teeth.


    My teeth were never supposed to touch or clench. What they were doing naturally and when I was relaxed is what they were supposed to do, but I felt like what my jaw was doing was all wrong. So since that day my mind has always been on my jaw position, teeth position, tongue position, etc.


    Until recently, I would grind and clench my teeth for years. My lips were always so tight and chapped and broken from being in such a tight line from this too. It took me years, but I finally got myself to stop clenching my teeth for about 70% of the time.


    But now my mind is always on where my tongue position is in my mouth or how my lips rest together. I always clench and squeeze my lips together because my mind just does not know a natural position for my lips, tongue, teeth and jaw anymore.


    Everyone around me notices me clenching and pursing my lips all the time. I know this because I always see them staring at my mouth. It is so embarassing. Luckily, I work from home so not a lot of people see it anymore, other than my boyfriend and his friends when they come over.


    But it still never, ever leaves my thoughts. Even when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, my mind is on this.

    "Where is my tongue now? Where are my lips now? How do I rest my lips? Where does my tongue go?"


    When I say these thoughts literally never leave my mind, I mean that there is never a single moment where my mind is not on it. I can be so busy, but my mind will still be on it.


    My lips, jaw, and teeth are always in so much pain from this. I always have headaches. I always feel dizzy. I never feel relaxed. I think this is what is contribiting to my anxiety and depersonalization disorder or making it worse.


    I really don't know how to fix this at all. I am now 25 years old, so I do not think this habit or these thoughts will ever go away. It ruins my life though.


    I think it might be part of my OCD, but I have tried so many medications for OCD for other things before, but nothing works for me. I also had braces, so I do not do this habit because of my teeth being out of alignment.


    I have tried so many TMJ exercises that I have found online and stayed consistent with them, but still, I cannot stop this habit or find a natural resting position. My health insurance does not cover seeing a TMJ specialist and even it if did, I do not think it would help, since my TMJ is caused by these intrusive thoughts 24/7.


    I think I just posted this as a rant. I have never known a single other person to deal with something like this.


    I doubt anyone can help me with this, but does anyone have any advice at all? Keeping my mind busy never works, as this is what my mind always stays on and I can't stop it.

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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    Yes, does sound like some type of anxiety or OCD symptom. Probably has nothing at all to do with your jaw or teeth. It really sucks when nothing works but sounds like it's worth it to keep trying to get a treatment that will be effective since it's affecting your life so much.


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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    It is most likely anxiety related and a form of ocd. I have the same kind of thoughts/actions and it really consumes you. A few years ago I was always running into the dentist because I was convinced my teeth were falling out. He would tell me they were fine and id be okay for a week but then start thinking he probably just missed something and id go back in. Its embarrassing. I still (even today) stare at my teeth in the mirror at all angles trying to see the "problem".

    Sometimes the teeth worrying thing will ease up but then I have yet another problem. Like a year ago I thought I was going blind. I always think I'm about to have a seizure. My mind is always on these things, too. Anti depressants can help a lot but sometimes you need you try a few to see what works. Like for me, celexa was better than Prozac. If you haven't tried getting on one, you should! They just kind of help me realize that its just anxiety and to calm down.
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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    Meditation is the answer here. Roy Eugene Davis is an excellent guide for this.

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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    You might benefit from seeing an orofacial myofunctional therapist(although your insurance probably wouldn't cover it, maybe you could do your own research), there's a whole science to mouth posture and to how your tongue is supposed to sit and move in your mouth and that's what O.M. therapists deal with. I have an underdeveloped oral cavity and apparently my tongue is also too small and short and so I've always had issues with my teeth overcrowding even with braces and permanent retainers. Like you I really don't understand what a relaxed jaw is supposed to feel like and while I don't grind my teeth my jaw is often tense, however unlike you I don't obsess about it and am capable about forgetting it for most of the day so I don't have any advice in regards to the OCD aspect unfortunately(although I can say that lots of sugar and caffeine in my diet has a tendency to give me obsessive thoughts in regards to my body, like thinking about needles going in my eyeballs and stuff).

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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    I absolutely agree it could be anxiety based OCD. If course I don't know you at all, but I'd suggest you may be having obsessive thoughts as a way to redirect some severe PTSD or anxiety. Because you've been suffering for half your life, you may have this compulsion reinforced at a neural level

    Not all people respond to OCD medication. However, you may be able to help yourself by writing down when it is worse, or better, and by working to focus your mind on other things. If you have "triggers" what are they?

    You also mention two details that you might consider more: one is that you feel people are noticing and staring at your mouth. You appear to have isolated yourself a bit, and that may be because you are "running" from something you may need to face, or you may have a social anxiety. The other is that this condition began with a question to your aunt. Why? Did you often watch TV at her house? You don't mention your mother or father. Have you spoken with them about your challenge? I apologize if it seems like I'm prying. Please don't feel obligated to answer anything that might cause you anxiety.
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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I think it's possible to overcome this with therapy and retraining your brain and redirecting your focus on something else. Most people don't think about how their jaws, teeth, or tongue relaxes. It just happens automatically. You could obsess the same thing about your breathing, how your shoulders relax, the placement of your hands, etc. You don't overly concentrate on your breathing and start second guessing yourself how often you should inhale and exhale, or how many seconds inhaling should take, etc., correct? So why should you second guess how to relax your jaw or teeth? I know this is easier said than done, because you've been obsessively thinking about this same thing for years and your neural pathways are deeply ingrained on this obsession. But naturally, you shouldn't have to second guess this just like you shouldn't have to second guess your breathing or your heartbeat.

    When you sleep at night, your jaws and tongue naturally relax. Its only when you wake up that it becomes tense because you don't trust your own body for some reason. I think that may be the first step here. Learn to trust your own body and its natural ability to relax. Whatever position your jaw, teeth, or tongue is in, it's ok. It's ok whether your teeth touch or not. Either way, it's not harmful and it doesn't matter. Every mouth is different. Some people's teeth my touch in a relaxed position and some people's teeth may not touch at all. It doesn't matter. There is no wrong way or no wrong position for them to be in. They are adaptable and can move in lots of different ways, you just have to LET GO and trust your body.

    Maybe try chewing gum to help ease your mind. Or get a mouth guard. I don't think there is anything physically wrong with your jaw placement, I think this is purely psychological. Your brain will rebel at first because it's so used to it obsessing over this, but it's possible to retrain your brain to LET GO and trust your natural ability to relax and be okay with whatever position it falls into.

    So, daily reminder to yourself: "Whatever position my teeth, jaw, lips, or tongue is in, it's ok. I trust my body in its natural ability to relax. I trust my own jaw placement. I don't have to worry about this now. I am letting this go."

    If you are still having trouble relaxing, then perhaps Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could help.

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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    I absolutely agree it could be anxiety based OCD. If course I don't know you at all, but I'd suggest you may be having obsessive thoughts as a way to redirect some severe PTSD or anxiety. Because you've been suffering for half your life, you may have this compulsion reinforced at a neural level

    Not all people respond to OCD medication. However, you may be able to help yourself by writing down when it is worse, or better, and by working to focus your mind on other things. If you have "triggers" what are they?

    You also mention two details that you might consider more: one is that you feel people are noticing and staring at your mouth. You appear to have isolated yourself a bit, and that may be because you are "running" from something you may need to face, or you may have a social anxiety. The other is that this condition began with a question to your aunt. Why? Did you often watch TV at her house? You don't mention your mother or father. Have you spoken with them about your challenge? I apologize if it seems like I'm prying. Please don't feel obligated to answer anything that might cause you anxiety.
    I don't talk to my mom or dad. My aunt became my (abusive) foster parent when I was a kid. Maybe I wanted to turn my attention away from the abuse that was happening from both my mother before and then my aunt? I don't know. It seems strange that out of all things, I would focus on my attention on trying to change a conscious habit instead of something else.

    I think it is just a form of OCD. Before this, it was frequent hand washing. But unlike the frequent hand washing, this has lasted for years and shows no sign of going away.

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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    Quote Originally Posted by ScarletKitten View Post
    I'm sorry you're going through this. I think it's possible to overcome this with therapy and retraining your brain and redirecting your focus on something else. Most people don't think about how their jaws, teeth, or tongue relaxes. It just happens automatically. You could obsess the same thing about your breathing, how your shoulders relax, the placement of your hands, etc. You don't overly concentrate on your breathing and start second guessing yourself how often you should inhale and exhale, or how many seconds inhaling should take, etc., correct? So why should you second guess how to relax your jaw or teeth? I know this is easier said than done, because you've been obsessively thinking about this same thing for years and your neural pathways are deeply ingrained on this obsession. But naturally, you shouldn't have to second guess this just like you shouldn't have to second guess your breathing or your heartbeat.

    When you sleep at night, your jaws and tongue naturally relax. Its only when you wake up that it becomes tense because you don't trust your own body for some reason. I think that may be the first step here. Learn to trust your own body and its natural ability to relax. Whatever position your jaw, teeth, or tongue is in, it's ok. It's ok whether your teeth touch or not. Either way, it's not harmful and it doesn't matter. Every mouth is different. Some people's teeth my touch in a relaxed position and some people's teeth may not touch at all. It doesn't matter. There is no wrong way or no wrong position for them to be in. They are adaptable and can move in lots of different ways, you just have to LET GO and trust your body.

    Maybe try chewing gum to help ease your mind. Or get a mouth guard. I don't think there is anything physically wrong with your jaw placement, I think this is purely psychological. Your brain will rebel at first because it's so used to it obsessing over this, but it's possible to retrain your brain to LET GO and trust your natural ability to relax and be okay with whatever position it falls into.

    So, daily reminder to yourself: "Whatever position my teeth, jaw, lips, or tongue is in, it's ok. I trust my body in its natural ability to relax. I trust my own jaw placement. I don't have to worry about this now. I am letting this go."

    If you are still having trouble relaxing, then perhaps Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could help.
    This is good advice, but I don't think my brain even knows where its natural position is anymore from this habit. I can actually feel my tongue in my mouth all the time because my mind is so focused on it. I can feel the way my tongue presses into the roof of my mouth, ect. My tongue always feel so heavy and annoying to me.

    My mind is so messed up.

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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    I don't talk to my mom or dad. My aunt became my (abusive) foster parent when I was a kid. Maybe I wanted to turn my attention away from the abuse that was happening from both my mother before and then my aunt? I don't know. It seems strange that out of all things, I would focus on my attention on trying to change a conscious habit instead of something else.

    I think it is just a form of OCD. Before this, it was frequent hand washing. But unlike the frequent hand washing, this has lasted for years and shows no sign of going away.
    If I might gently suggest, anxiety can exacerbate OCD. If you have a latent tendency to obsessiveness, it can be manifested by exposure to anxiety. If you'll allow me, an amateur, to speculate, you put your aunt in the above narrative and mentioned her specifically, because her abusive behavior, along with your mother's previous abusive behavior, is an important detail.

    I would further suggest that you might feel a loss of grounding in maternal love or support, and that regardless of how you face the challenge of your compulsion, that you might be additionally challenged by an overall lack of a sense of control over your body and over social interaction with others.

    You've organized your question in a very straightforward and rational manner, which says you have a strong mind despite everything you've faced. The step Scarlet recommends above is a version of the quite effective and medically proven "every day and in every way I'm getting better and better" method. Best wishes for getting to where you want to be.
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    Default Re: When unconscious habits become conscious. (Long rant) :(

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    This is good advice, but I don't think my brain even knows where its natural position is anymore from this habit. I can actually feel my tongue in my mouth all the time because my mind is so focused on it. I can feel the way my tongue presses into the roof of my mouth, ect. My tongue always feel so heavy and annoying to me.

    My mind is so messed up.
    I understand. Please try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a therapist that specializes in OCD. Here's a link to help find a therapist in your area: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/finding-help/

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