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Thread: Dancer friends

  1. #1
    Senior Member aliwonderland's Avatar
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    Default Dancer friends

    When I first started dancing, a veteran dancer gave me the advice to avoid hanging out with other dancers OTC. "You don't know what they're really like, and you don't want to get caught in a shitty situation if they turn out to be drug addicts for example," was what she told me. Plus, I don't really want anyone to know where I live. And if two dancers get into a fight, I'm sure the fallout has the potential to be way worse than two non-dancer friends fighting.

    So I agree with her to a point. Yes, there are all kinds of bad things if you let a potentially unstable person into your life, and SCs invite all kinds of unstable people.

    That being said, as someone who's keeping her dancing life a complete secret from everyone else, I would love to have friends who understand. One fellow dancer in particular has always been cool to me and yesterday we talked about hanging out. BUT I understand that I only know her in the club environment, so there's a lot I DON'T know.

    Anyway, how do you all handle club friendships? Keep them to the club? Slowly build up trust? Ever had any horrible fall outs with other dancer friends?

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    i've tried be friends with girls outside of the club maybe twice. one turned out to be a psycho who got too high, went crazy and ditched me 40min from home with no car, and this is after i let her stay w/me in vegas for free (during which time she disappeared from the club to go hang out with some random dudes for free weed and then stumbled into my apartment at 6am waking up me and my bf).

    another one waited until i was out of town and made out with the guy i liked, after i introduced her to my circle.. since she was new in town and i wanted to be nice. before i left for my trip we had a heart to heart about how much i liked this guy. took a total of two days of me being gone for her to be at his house alone and making out with him.

    i don't really think it's a good idea and am just cordial with my coworkers nowadays. my boyfriend has made friends with some of the bartenders/staff at my work and it annoys me at times. i don't wanna be friends with those people.. don't shit where you eat. i'd love to have dancer friends just not ones who work at the same club as me. i don't wanna dread going to work because of stupid drama, it can get awkward and give me anxiety which fucks with my money

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    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    I have a few girls i know that i do occasional trips with or hang out otc but... I am SUPER selective of these girls. Like sober professional career dancers who are there for the money, not the lifestyle, can make great friends. But it is really hard to weed out who is who, and unless you also fit those characteristics they aren't gonna trust you to hang out OTC either.

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    I have a few girls i know that i do occasional trips with or hang out otc but... I am SUPER selective of these girls. Like sober professional career dancers who are there for the money, not the lifestyle, can make great friends. But it is really hard to weed out who is who, and unless you also fit those characteristics they aren't gonna trust you to hang out OTC either.
    I love you too lol

    But seriously, 99% of the dancers I know are not friend material. We just have different interests, different lifestyles and different goals for why we are dancing. Im friendly with most girls at work but very selective with who I will hang out with outside the club.

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    Veteran Member questella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    Generally they always end up stealing from me when I try to have dancer friendships out of the club. >: So there's that.

    Maybe you could meet them for dinner or drinks before going into work on occasion but I'd be super wary of having them anywhere near your home or otc friends/family.

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    I can not really weigh in too much with advice on what you should do but I will tell you some of my past experiences being friends with other dancers; and maybe that can help you decide? Sorry, it's a little long-

    I started dancing near where I grew up, I started in a small, divey bar. I would go out for drinks sometimes after work with a few of the girls, they were cool as hell, but I think it was camaraderie of navigating the shit show club. They actually ended up telling me about a better club where I started making more money, if they hadn't I might not have lasted more than three weeks as a stripper. One or eight times (lol) I drank too much and I stayed at one of their apartments (the club was over an hour from where I lived); which was cool of them, and if they had a big spending customer with buddies they would call me over and vice versa. This is more of a co-worker being cordial to one another type of situation. I partied with them and we got a long but weren't really "friends".

    Then, I ended up dancing in another city and there was one girl I was friends with and I would hang out with her outside of work quite a bit but really it was also for little things like shopping and going out for drinks and whatnot. This city was really close to where I grew up and she wasn't from there, so I think it was good for her to have someone who knew the city and she was good for me too cause she was pretty responsible. She was cool and we stayed in touch for a long time, I actually let her stay at my apartment when she got her boobs done and I had moved to Fla but I was out of town at the time. So, clearly if I trusted her to be in my apt. when I was not in town she was trustworthy. She was a single mom and, like I said, pretty level headed. She partied a little bit but was not a druggie or a thief or a liar. We just kind of drifted apart after I lived down here for a long time.

    There was another girl I had been friends with and hung out with a lot from the 2nd club (after divey place). We would go to the gym and party after work and I had met a lot of her friends. We had talked about moving down here to Fla together. She went first to Tampa and was there for a few months. I flew into Miami and got a hotel room for us so we could check out clubs and apartments. We were working in a club in Miami that I had worked at before and a customer said something insulting about my looks (something about my arms being muscular or something) and she asked me to leave so she could do a VIP with him but she did it in a really rude way. I can not remember what she said but it showed a fucked up side to her. Like, I do not care if the customer wants to go with you and not me. We were there to make money. I was cool. Don't be a fucking cunt to your supposed friend because this asshat guy likes to talk shit to women. Anyway, I am pretty sure she fucked him in VIP (club was like that); which I do not really care about either but I was a bit apprehensive about moving in with her at that point. I didn't want her to be bringing guys back to where I lived to fuck for money. Not my scene.

    Then, either that night or the next night after leaving the club; we met up with some friends of mine and she wanted drugs. They could get her coke but she wanted Roxies (she must have gotten into that shit in Tampa cause she never used it up North). She was being cunty to my friend so when we left I called her out on it (but in a calmish way)... she went completely nuts. When we got back to the hotel she locked me out of MY hotel room and all my shit was inside. It was really late at night and I didn't have my ID so I had a hell of a time getting the hotel staff to let me in, I ended up having to go up with Security and threaten to call the cops just to get my purse and luggage. I changed my flight to fly out of Miami really early that morning (like 4 hours after this incident) and took a cab to the airport. When I got home and opened my stuff I realized she had taken all of my cash, a LV bag, a Versace bathing suit (that I have been trying to re-buy for 12 fucking years now!) and some of my makeup. Like, who takes someone's bathing suit and makeup- that's just gross. What if I had herpes??

    It's bitches like this that are the reason people tell you not to be friends with dancers. She seemed really cool at first but then she went all psycho and was on drugs. I actually saw her a few years later at a club where I had worked for a long time and was one of the top girls. She looked like shit (had put on a ton of weight) and I suspect she was being pimped. She actually came in the bathroom saw me and then left. It was a little sad.

    This same club I saw this dumbass at, I made friends with 2 of the dancers (one of them I knew from another club a few years previous) and I am still friends with both of them. Much closer to one that the other. We have all retired now. They both have kids. One doesn't work and the other has a kind of normal(ish) job. I did a really nice Easter lunch at one of their houses a few years ago (the girl I am better friends with) and have introduced her to a lot of my close friends. She actually hung out a lot one summer with one of my friends when I was out of town. I expect that she and I will be friends for the rest of our lives, if not at least a very long time! However, she could out me at any time to my friends that have no idea I used to dance, which is scary. Also, I really didn't have any way of knowing when I met her that she wasn't crazy, or bad news. It took me years and years of friendship.

    I have also met 2 other girls I used to be friends with (kind of grew apart because; life) who were coincidentally dancers that I met not in the club. One was introduced through mutual friends and she lived up north. I would stay with her sometimes and dance at her club when I was home and she would do the same when she came here. The other I met in school. I don't know how but I just KNEW she was a dancer. She didn't really look strippery; it was just her vibe I guess. We were friends for a few years and grew apart after a shitty business deal; that TBH I was just as much to blame for as she was.


    Anyhoo, I do not think a general "do not make friends with other dancers" blanket rule should really be a thing. It is human nature to be friends with our co-workers. It depends how much of you identifies as being a stripper. I danced for 7 years and a few of them all I did was dance. I still consider myself a stripper in my soul which is a lot of the reason I hang out here so much; (well, plus I plan to go back and moonlight a bit). The disconnect or line between the role or character I played at the club, and the real me blurred a lot. Not every dancer is ingrained this way. If dancing to you is a stepping stone to something else and you are trying to do it temporarily, you should not get involved with anyone there, IMO.

    If you want to hang out with this girl, then try it but treat it like a date. Meet her wherever you want to hang out and take your own car or transportation so you can leave if she's a nutjob. Don't tell her too many personal details about yourself too soon. Maybe she is really normal and cool and you two go on to be friends. It can be an asset to have a girl you get along with at the club for hustle purposes. Just don't let your guard down and don't get upset if something weird happens.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    I've made many friends over the years. Of course you have to be careful but I'm def not a fan of never trying.

    I always prefer to have friends that have things in common with me & fellow dancers just usually have a higher % of likely hood of having things in common with me. Things like being a single mom, smoke cigs, more outgoing atittude. Then because of the type of clubs I work at we usually have the same type of music taste.

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    Ugh, no! No stripper friends! I like my real life to be separated fron my work life. I'm friendly with some girls at work, but we don't hang out or anything.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    I have serious trust issue w/ most people, so no, it's highly possible but rare!
    @ Gia, Versace house is going to re-release some designs I read in a recent fashion magazine, but the prices, like 50k for a dress??
    Maybe you could have a seamstress duplicate the suit, it would cost but not that outrageous?


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    "Walk in, Secure the bag, I don't f*** with nobody here" MOTTA FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    I have serious trust issue w/ most people, so no, it's highly possible but rare!
    @ Gia, Versace house is going to re-release some designs I read in a recent fashion magazine, but the prices, like 50k for a dress??
    Maybe you could have a seamstress duplicate the suit, it would cost but not that outrageous?
    Thanks! I have been thinking of that to be honest. It was from the same collection as that dress J-Lo wore to the Ocars;Name:  J-Lo Gramm y.jpg
Views: 294
Size:  9.8 KB








    I have a friend who is opening a swim suit store and she designs them herself and has them made in Venezuela, so maybe she can have it made for me.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    stripper friends all the way for me! i find it extremely mentally draining to lie to my vanilla friends (actually i have like 1.5 left at this point) and hard to relate to them.

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    I love my stripper friends but I'm extremely selective!

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    Default Re: Dancer friends

    Ha ha...no thanks. I got enough problems. I was considering being friends with some of the girls. Then one of them lashed out at me- I cried! Not because of her, but because eveytime I try to make friends with a dancer they are crazy or selfish. I feel bad because I really have love for my coworkers, but I can do bad all by myself. She was mad cause some dude she liked gave me money at work. Dumb. I almost threw the money at her. I was just doing my job; I’m not that thirsty. It just reminded me of everytime a girl screwed me over and pretended she cared about me. I’m pretty stick about not making friends with dancers- that was the last straw last night.

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