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Thread: Bouncer asked me on a date...

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    Veteran Member lovelydancer's Avatar
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    Default Bouncer asked me on a date...

    I've been engaged since early this year to my Fiancé, and when I came back to my home club (I tend to work only 4-5 months a year, part time) I haven't made that a secret to the mgmt or staff members. I talk to one DJ, all the Mgrs and 2 bouncers more so than the rest, and only in the club...no social media, texting or calls. Wednesday night one of the bouncers asked me out on a date. I questioned if he knew I was engaged, and he said yes but then said it would be as friends and nothing more. I told him no, which he then went on to try and ask for my number..claiming he just wanted to chat as friends. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea, as my fiancé would find that disrespectful. He tried to act normal after that, but clearly was embarrassed. Now I'm worried that on the few nights I work things will be awkward, and the club is small so there's no avoiding him and idk what to do.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    I'd just go on as best you can & just act like it never happened.. eventually it'll be forgotten.
    Good you turned him down, not good to shit where you eat.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    How do you go on a date as friends???

    (Btw I find it inappropriate when support staff ask girls out. Bouncer at my club kept asking me to hook him up with one of my friends, any that were single, and if we would go on a double date. Ew.)
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    God/dess ScarletKitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    Just ignore him if possible. Keep things strictly business with him. It's awkward for him, but don't let it be awkward for you. He was pushing for your number even after you told him "no". I have no respect for guys like that. He should have dropped it the first time. Friends, my ass.

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    He should be embarrassed, not you. Go on like nothing ever happened. You're the main attraction and he is just a bouncer. Don't let him make you feel uncomfortable because HE was inappropriate and pushy.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    I don't understand. You think he was being disrespectful to your fiance but not you. You told him, no. Him trying to insist more was disrespectful to you. He basically told you that the "NO" was nothing.

    Having a boyfriends, fiance, or husband doesn't deter horny men & it is naive of you to think that is all it takes for men not to try & fuck you Only thing embarrassing is that you can't tell a man no & think him being aggressive is your fault instead of his horrible etiquette.


    You go in & make your money. Many women daily in every office, job & industry have to deal with men like him. No husband, father or bother can prevent these situations. You will have to learn to be stronger & more unwelcoming to men just like him. You can also go into the dressing room & turn many of the dancers against him for being an asshole who won't take no for an answer. Totally flipping the situation on him & warning the other ladies who work there.

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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    ^^ there is already a lot of resentment for strippers from support staff in clubs because we're making so much more money. Support staff can make your life miserable if they hate you so I would personally not use gossip as a tactic- that might be biting off your nose to spite your face.

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    Senior Member dragonflyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    Honestly just go about things like it never happened - it's only awkward if you make it that way!

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    Quote Originally Posted by vanessa_mtl View Post
    ^^ there is already a lot of resentment for strippers from support staff in clubs because we're making so much more money. Support staff can make your life miserable if they hate you so I would personally not use gossip as a tactic- that might be biting off your nose to spite your face.
    That really depends upon the club, worked at a few where we were all like family and had BBQs, holiday pot lucks & went to events yearly as a group like the opening day for the horse races, the State Fair. Good management is what it takes to create a good or bad atmosphere.

    Most of the people who worked at those clubs still are friends & in contact with each other. Even though some became teachers & now are Grandparents. We still support each others endeavors like tattoo saloon, diner, bank presidents, teachers, fitness studio owner, flower shop owner..... See we are still up in each other's business. LOL

    If he did it to her, then easily can assume he has done it to more than one. And thus all of them should talk & be a united front for his sexual aggressive behavior.

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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    ^^ yes agreed with seeing if he does that to the other girls but that is only conversation not "turning the other dancers against him". It's really nice the clubs you worked at were so supportive but corporate club culture has been very different from that in the two dozen clubs I've worked at. It's a shame.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    It's not turning the other dancers against him, that was the wrong term. More like bringing his inappropriate aggressive behavior to light so that neither she or any of the others feel embarrassed or intimidated by him.

    Eventually, when all start making him out to be a joke that he is, he loses his power to do it to any others. Yet, it brings it to managements attention without just one girl being seen as a trouble maker & easily dismiss her statement.

    When the bouncer realizes at that point his game plan failed, he might give it up.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    What a thirstbucket!

    I'd tell the manager. Like tell this fucker to do his job as described in his job description and quit being so thirsty.

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  22. #13
    Veteran Member lovelydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer asked me on a date...

    So I went into work this weekend. I first told one of the Managers what had happened that night (they’ve known me since my first day at that club, and the most professional and respected of the Managenent team). I told him I was going to act like nothing happened, but I wanted him to know what he did as it made me really uncomfortable. He appreciated that I told him, and that he’d keep an eye on him but to let him know if he tries anything else. The bouncer also worked that night. He initially did the same as me and acted like nothing happened, but before I left for my shift he came up to me to apologize. The conversation was short and awkward. I’m hoping this is the end of it, but my guard is up even more so now

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