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Thread: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Am I the only one who finds that super weird? Everyone's relationship is different and if you're not comfortable with something then your S.O. should respect that, whatever it is. I'm just interested to hear the reasoning behind this concept because to me it makes no sense. As long as my boyfriend doesn't do anything w/a dancer that he wouldn't want *me* doing with a customer then I could care less. A lot of girls i've talked to at work though have said they'd never want their bf getting dances and I don't wanna offend anyone but I'm always curious why

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    Featured Member trustfundkiller's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    You'd think as someone who knows the ins and outs of the business firsthand she would realize how meaningless a lap dance is, but some girls are insanely jealous and feel like they need to keep their BFs on a leash 24/7. I really wouldn't care if my BF got a lap dance - as long as he'll buy me a few dances with the girl of my choice! I will never understand women who feel so insecure in their relationships, but that's just me.

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by trustfundkiller View Post
    You'd think as someone who knows the ins and outs of the business firsthand she would realize how meaningless a lap dance is, but some girls are insanely jealous and feel like they need to keep their BFs on a leash 24/7. I really wouldn't care if my BF got a lap dance - as long as he'll buy me a few dances with the girl of my choice! I will never understand women who feel so insecure in their relationships, but that's just me.
    it's multiple girls! i've heard this from many.. you're probably right though it must be insecurity bc nothing else makes sense

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    He's welcome to get lap dances. They must be no more than 4 inches taller than me (5') ,have a smaller waist (26 inches) smaller feet (size 3) ,bigger boobs (32DDD) and more tattoos (over 30).
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    God at my current age I wish boyfriend would hit up hookers & strippers for attention. I get so tired of his shit. Lol

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Depends. In the grand scheme it wouldnt matter. However there are some brothels masquerading as strip clubs, some dancers passing out extras, so it has the possibility to go too far (if youre not in an open relationship).

    I don't trust any dude, even the most trustworthy dude, to his own devices......sure go get a dance (but Im timing you and watching you lol).....Id probably just limit my bf or husband to look but dont touch so no back room for him Lol

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    God at my current age I wish boyfriend would hit up hookers & strippers for attention. I get so tired of his shit. Lol
    This LOL

    I wish my bf liked strip clubs. I've told him to hire an escort if he wants to. Like... go take out your needs for attention elsewhere. But he hated the club the one time I tried to take him.

    But as much as that's my opinion, and I do think it's silly and hypocritical to not want your bf to get lapdances if you are a stripper yourself, the logic I've heard from some is that they give lapdances to make money. A bf is spending money for a lapdance. One is a job - not for pleasure. The other is for pleasure. I don't necessarily agree with the stance, but I do see the point behind it.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    If the dancers in the area clubs are grinding on the guys' dicks, I can totally understand why so many dancers don't like the idea. Sure they might do the same thing, but it's part of their JOB. They aren't doing it for fun, for free, and they certainly aren't PAYING some musclebound hunk to grind their totally aroused pussies with dicks, asses or whatever body parts.

    That being said, this notion that so many women seem to have, that men are any more insecure, jealous, or controlling than the women? Patently absurd.

    I've seen so many catfights, screaming fits, women attacking their boyfriends, etc.

    And the vast majority of civilian women are EVERY BIT as jealous, insecure, and controlling when it comes to the idea of 'their' male SO working in the clubs.

    As well as a great many of the dancers themselves. Seen a whole lot of shit from that too. And it's probably the main reason I won't sleep with dancers in my own clubs. Way, WAY too easy to stir up drama that way. Unfortunately, most male & female staff in the clubs I've worked had no such restraint.


    As for me, if I am in love with a woman, I don't want or need another girl grinding on my dick. And if she wants some dipshit grinding her pussy with his dick so bad she's gonna pay for it, she's done. She can do that all she wants, just not on my time.
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl Anachronism View Post
    it's multiple girls! i've heard this from many.. you're probably right though it must be insecurity bc nothing else makes sense
    I know a stripper who waited six months to get physical with her boyfriend- just because someone is working a job where they are very open with their body does not make it their preference.

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    Senior Member dragonflyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Couldn't care less. I've gotten dances with him before. Fun experience tbh. I suppose I'm a bit open in terms of boundaries, particularly when it comes to him - he's got free reign, as pointless as it is with his issues. Lol.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    If the dancers in the area clubs are grinding on the guys' dicks, I can totally understand why so many dancers don't like the idea.
    omg!!! LOL

    Oh! And yes women do pay musclebound hunks to grind on their pussy.....that and more.......(I saw an episode of Brizillas where this woman got down with her hired male stripper - I was like damn is this pg14 or rated r?) And on pornhub you can find plenty of videos of male strippers with their dicks out getting head and more........

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    This LOL

    I wish my bf liked strip clubs. I've told him to hire an escort if he wants to. Like... go take out your needs for attention elsewhere. But he hated the club the one time I tried to take him.

    But as much as that's my opinion, and I do think it's silly and hypocritical to not want your bf to get lapdances if you are a stripper yourself, the logic I've heard from some is that they give lapdances to make money. A bf is spending money for a lapdance. One is a job - not for pleasure. The other is for pleasure. I don't necessarily agree with the stance, but I do see the point behind it.
    i can see where someone could be coming from with that. i would imagine most of us do have fun on occasion giving lap dances/doing VIPS though. not all the time but we all have customers we like better than others. not so much in a sexual way but in a fun way.. which is all i see it as. just light hearted fun, drinking and shaking of boobies. if my boyfriend got a girls number after dances or kept going back to see the same girl that would be very different to me though.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    I wouldn't want my bf going to a strip club. If he did, I wouldn't want to know about it. Djoser is right. I'm not giving lap dances for the fun of it, but to survive. Guys who go and pay to get lap dances, they are doing it for fun and the sexual thrill. I don't want my bf getting any kind of sexual thrill from another woman. I'm extremely monogamous and that just wouldn't fly with me at all. I wouldn't go to a male strip club and let a male stripper rub up on me either. The thought grosses me out.

    My input is probably irrelevant now because I quit dancing.

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    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    ^^

    Yeah it's a totally different situation. Like i"m giving lap dances for money, mostly i'm thinking either "how can i get more money out of this person", "is this asshole gonna try to grab my vagina", or "which groceries do i need to pick up later".

    I can completely understand how girls who get paid to give dances might have issues with their guys spending money on dances. For me it's more about why are you wasting money we could be spending on something more useful, but just because somebody does something for money as their job, it doesn't automatically mean they should be okay with their so paying for the same thing. Totally different experiences.

    We see this over and over again in threads where crappy partners cheat because "you do x for money". It's one thing if you're fine with being in an open relationship or ehatever, but it's totally different to say that dating a sw is a free pass to do sexual stuff with whoever.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    As for me, if I am in love with a woman, I don't want or need another girl grinding on my dick. And if she wants some dipshit grinding her pussy with his dick so bad she's gonna pay for it, she's done. She can do that all she wants, just not on my time.[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with the above. I would pay some stranger not to have their dick near me and especially not grinding on me. Lol I can't believe chicks really pay dudes to shove their dongs in their face. lol As far as SO frequenting strip clubs.... I have a hard time believing the person is serious about me and really in love with me. Maybe if we've been together like a million years. Lol A guy im just dating and having fun with... i wouldn't have an issue with it. Whacking off to porn .. sure... hell even go to like a peep show... anywhere there is physical contact and getting into like an intimate conversation.... no sale. Somebody claiming their in love with me but showering someone else with cash and attention. I don't think so!! lol I just wouldn't fit with that type of person.

    Never mad about the dancers.... it's what they do for their job. It's like someone saying I really dig all my cam clients. ROFL

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    ^^
    We see this over and over again in threads where crappy partners cheat because "you do x for money". It's one thing if you're fine with being in an open relationship or ehatever, but it's totally different to say that dating a sw is a free pass to do sexual stuff with whoever.
    i agree that our jobs alone should never be a free pass for anyone to do anything. just saying that i see lap dances as no big deal, which is why i profit from them with no remorse. like i said every relationship is different and has different boundaries and not every stripper feels the same way i do about work stuff but if it's really just a job/transaction then i don't get the jealousy factor.. unless it's money related

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl Anachronism View Post
    i agree that our jobs alone should never be a free pass for anyone to do anything. just saying that i see lap dances as no big deal, which is why i profit from them with no remorse. like i said every relationship is different and has different boundaries and not every stripper feels the same way i do about work stuff but if it's really just a job/transaction then i don't get the jealousy factor.. unless it's money related
    Yes but WE see lap dances as nbd on our side because for us they are just a transaction that we don't get anything sexual out of.
    On the male side they DO get something sexual or at the very least attention, or they wouldn't pay for it.

    It's nbd for me to take money from a ton of dudes and have no emotional response other than hell yeah bills are paid, but if I'm dating someone who is blowing money on lap dances i can totally see why girls wouldn't want that. Not everybody is comfortable with their guy paying another woman to grind on them. Because for the guy, it isn't just some meaningless transaction or he wouldn't spend the money. So the two sides are completely different and i don't think it is weird at all that a dancer can perform a service for money where she feels no sexual response, and have a problem with dating someone who seeks out that service for the sexual thrill it gives them.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by ScarletKitten View Post
    I wouldn't want my bf going to a strip club. If he did, I wouldn't want to know about it. Djoser is right. I'm not giving lap dances for the fun of it, but to survive. Guys who go and pay to get lap dances, they are doing it for fun and the sexual thrill. I don't want my bf getting any kind of sexual thrill from another woman. I'm extremely monogamous and that just wouldn't fly with me at all. I wouldn't go to a male strip club and let a male stripper rub up on me either. The thought grosses me out.

    My input is probably irrelevant now because I quit dancing.
    Ditto


    I'm not comfortable having a half naked man on me for fun, if I was in a serious relationship. I'm not gonna care for it, or enjoy it. Also, I was never comfortable with a bf doing the same. So, I'm not a hypocrite.

    I see a lot of girls at my club grabbing guys by the dick to entice. That shit would bother me.

    I'm not gonna be with that type of guy.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    no matter how serious the relationship or how loyal they are, i don't expect a guy to never be attracted to another woman ever again. if all he's doing is getting a lap dance here and there from strippers, with no extras, then idgaf. it's no deeper to me than looking at porn but hey, some girls don't allow their S.O. to do that either and that's their prerogative.

    obviously a lot of others don't agree and i'm not saying you're wrong or anything, i know my way of thinking isn't the norm. i guess i stupidly assumed that more women in this industry felt the same way. doesn't mean i think sex workers aren't entitled to conventional relationships, cause they definitely are, it just surprised me is all. not trying to bash anyone else's relationship boundaries that are different from mine.

    i enjoy getting lapdances myself sometimes too so that might be part of it.. imo it's fun to party at a strip club and get a few dances for shits and giggles every once in a while

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    I'm not a stripper, but I wouldn't want my boyfriend getting a lap dance from one.

    If he feels the need to be around other naked women and to get dances from other naked women, then he doesn't need to be with me.

    It is a form of cheating in my opinion. Even if it is just a dance, and even if it is the dancer's job, he still feels the need to be near other naked women and to get dances from them.

    I would be disgusted and would throw him out as soon as I find out about it.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    My bf has erectile dysfunction and drinks too much alcohol to go on Viagra. He has zero sex drive. I wouldn't mind if he got a lapdance. I can't get him hard no matter what I do. Some random stripper probably wouldn't be able to get him hard from a lapdance either. The only thing I'd be worried about is if he went in the VIP room because his tongue still works. There's a lot of sleazy clubs around here that allow "extra's" and that's about the only thing he can do. I wouldn't want him licking on some strange pussy but a lapdance would be fine.

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    Senior Member dragonflyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    As far as I'm concerned, it's just some harmless fun. Men will be men and men like variety and fun new stuff. It's not like he's actually getting to know her and forming some emotional bond; he's just getting a nice ass rubbed around on his lap and having a good time, from my perspective.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    I don't like it. My fiance goes maybe once a year with the guys or for a bachelor party. He does get a couple of dances while he is there. He does get turned on by it which bothers me lol. And like I know the strippers in this city..some encourage touching by grabbing hands and putting them on their tits, hips, etc. Others grab cock or rub it with their knee. I'd rather him not go. I am not into it either with males. I've been to Hunk-O-Mania twice and hated it.

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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    Hunk-O-Mania


    Where the hell do they get the cheezy names? Not that female stripclub advertising is any better.


    As far as those who are fine with their SOs getting dances--whatever works for you, we aren't here to judge. I was just trying to explain why most people react badly to their SO getting dry humped, or maybe more in some clubs.
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    Default Re: Strippers who don't want their boyfriends getting lapdances

    I wouldn't care, but I also have this like insanely low jealousy button/trigger. I don't care if I guy I am dating finds another woman attractive, or even flirts with other women. Personally, I have a pretty liberal policy with dating though. Unless we have an agreement we are exclusive I could give a shit what he does... I know, a little weird. I'm too self involved and need the majority of my time to work on myself.

    What would very definitely upset me is if my guy gave another woman his money in quantities. Like, he buys X amount of dances one night at the titty bar = $200.00, ok. But he's going to see Destiny every other weekend and essentially covering half her rent, we have a problem.
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