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Thread: Keeping my job secret - struggles

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    Default Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Hey all! I seem to be having a really tough time *not* mentioning my new fun dancer career to the regular folks around me. I *know* that it isn't super safe to tell the guy at my cig shop, some co-workers, most of my friends, the random dude at the bar, etc..... but somehow I can't resist! I think perhaps I need the attention and validation.

    So can y'all talk me or scare me into learning to keep my mouth shut? This has been a long-time problem for me whenever I know things I shouldn't be spilling.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    The possibility of getting mugged or home invaded should frighten you enough to start saying you're a waitress.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    My number one regret over my seven year dancing career other than not saving more money is telling people what I do. When they turn on you, they WILL use it against you. Even if they dont turn on you, they WILL tell their friends. Suddenly everyone will know and good luck keeping it a secret then from those you don't want to know (family, school friends, vanilla job co workers, SO's family, etc). It's out and now you can't put it back in so to speak. Furthurmore, I was one of the lucky ones that has been robbed! All my cash GONE. IF I told you how much you would FAINT.Why? Because this particular person knew I stripped and knew I had cash in my house and I trusted the wrong person. They will be all "ya awesome wow stripping that's so cool!" to your face but behind your back they will call you a whore. You will turn into the friend that has to pay for everything cause your friends are broke and they can't just strip and make $1000 or whatever they have in their head that you make. Take it from me, DONT DO IT. The ones you told, tell them you quit. You couldn't stand doing that, degrading yourself for money. Tell them you waitress now instead and deny deny deny from now on.


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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Yep, great advice!^
    Ariel, I actually remember ur post, also another lady on her(also top notch hustler) got robbed of large amount..
    All the shit going on today? Best to have as little info as possible

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Why volunteer information on your occupation or income, regardless of what it is you do?

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by slowpoke View Post
    Why volunteer information on your occupation or income, regardless of what it is you do?
    This ^^

    I also find it so goddamn rude when people ask it in small talk i.e. you're getting your hair done or whatever and they ask "so what do you do" like even if i wasn't a stripper, if I'm not at work I don't want to talk about work!
    There are a ton of private/embarrassing jobs (or being unemployed) that put the answerer in an awkward position.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    I've been robbed before by people I thought I could trust. Beware the long con job.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    arielbriel I wish I could thank your post 1000 times

    When I lived across the country everyone over there knew. And once I moved back home I did not tell a soul. The difference in how you are treated is like night and day. I made way more money over there but I save more being back home because I don't pay for everyone. I like everyone around me to think I'm broke and keeping it that way.

    Also people love to see you fall down from a pedestal so all your so called friends who "support" you dancing won't be there to support you if you ever fall on hard financial times. It will get thrown in your face if you are doing poorly and ask for help "Why don't you just go to work you'll be able to make it in one night. You don't have to wait for a paycheck like the rest of us" etc.

    I will share a story for you. This new girl started at my spot and has been best friends with her roommate for 10+years. Her roommate is a woman who would never get hired at a club, even a dive or urban club. At first her roommate was coming as support, now she is there every night almost like a pimp and I see her watching how much money her friend makes and sometimes I see hints of jealousy. That is a 10+ year friendship I see going down the drain. Please keep it to yourself.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    I've been robbed before by people I thought I could trust. Beware the long con job.
    Yep my dog walker for over a year and a friend of a friend. It was so much it made it to the local paper. OP, Deposit your money and don't tell anyone what you do for a living. Remember you're ALWAYS broke.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Everyone will come to you for money, for loans they do not pay back.
    People like hair dressers & such will charge you more & expect a big tip for lousy work.
    Any & every male friend or not will expect sexual favors.

    Where you buy your cigs.... expect crude remarks if you tell him.
    A year after dancing either my friends became dancers and most of my life long friends are now the girls I first started off in the club at the same time. Now they are old married & Grandmothers. We dont have secrets from each other, because we all know each others skeletons.. lol

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Everyone will come to you for money, for loans they do not pay back.
    People like hair dressers & such will charge you more & expect a big tip for lousy work.
    Any & every male friend or not will expect sexual favors.

    Where you buy your cigs.... expect crude remarks if you tell him.
    A year after dancing either my friends became dancers and most of my life long friends are now the girls I first started off in the club at the same time. Now they are old married & Grandmothers. We dont have secrets from each other, because we all know each others skeletons.. lol

    So much this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Everyone will come to you for money, for loans they do not pay back.
    People like hair dressers & such will charge you more & expect a big tip for lousy work.
    Omg this! My hairdressers in NY knew and trust me they started slacking and still expecting a big tip. My current hairdresser thinks I'm a broke college student and works super hard to give me beautiful hair.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    My number one regret over my seven year dancing career other than not saving more money is telling people what I do. When they turn on you, they WILL use it against you. Even if they dont turn on you, they WILL tell their friends. Suddenly everyone will know and good luck keeping it a secret then from those you don't want to know (family, school friends, vanilla job co workers, SO's family, etc). It's out and now you can't put it back in so to speak. Furthurmore, I was one of the lucky ones that has been robbed! All my cash GONE. IF I told you how much you would FAINT.Why? Because this particular person knew I stripped and knew I had cash in my house and I trusted the wrong person. They will be all "ya awesome wow stripping that's so cool!" to your face but behind your back they will call you a whore. You will turn into the friend that has to pay for everything cause your friends are broke and they can't just strip and make $1000 or whatever they have in their head that you make. Take it from me, DONT DO IT. The ones you told, tell them you quit. You couldn't stand doing that, degrading yourself for money. Tell them you waitress now instead and deny deny deny from now on.
    ^^^^ SO much wisdom in this post! I have nothing to add, but basically this x100

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJa View Post
    This ^^

    I also find it so goddamn rude when people ask it in small talk i.e. you're getting your hair done or whatever and they ask "so what do you do" like even if i wasn't a stripper, if I'm not at work I don't want to talk about work!
    There are a ton of private/embarrassing jobs (or being unemployed) that put the answerer in an awkward position.
    It is a really rude question! In my mind when people ask what you do, it's because they're trying to a.) categorize you and b.) gauge how much money you make, which goes back into categorizing. I usually say I'm self-employed and change the subject.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    ^^ yes but to be fair society is shallow- my customers are Rolodexed as lawyer Sam, professor Mike, car dealership Dave. �� lol. It's definitely lazy, shallow, and boring to start a convo "What do you do?" but literally half the world does it- customers who know what we do even ask it and catch themselves, "I mean, I meant what else do you do besides strip? Hahahahahaha. I always laugh at that (on the inside) because it basically shows they don't think of this as a real job.

    To the OP- a lot of people think less of strippers and be wary. This thread is full of truth. Some of my friends know. I have a couple friends I met as a baby stripper who are either dancing or retired but know all my secrets these friendships are all 5-10years old, and a couple friends who I met through the course of my daytime life who are retired sex workers who it took me a long time to find out had done that who know what I do- everyone else either doesn't know- or I wish didn't know and found out through gossip started because someone saw me at the club. I've been a stripper too long to go around telling people and actually caring about their fascination. The charme really wears off.
    Last edited by vanessa_mtl; 10-07-2017 at 02:19 PM.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Guys will think of you as a sex fiend, girls will feel threatened and call you a slut. Everyone will expect money. Parents and family will shun you

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Not all parent shun & not all girls call you a slut.

    It is new & exciting, of course you want to share it with everyone. You are happy, it is natural.

    And can one really call a person a friend if they can't share everything with them. It is my stripper friends who kept the world sane & real for me once I started doing porn & got infamous. It might or might not test some friendships. Family is supposed to love you no matter what, but that sadly isn't reality for some. Both my Mom & sister are church ladies, they tell everyone I do porn & then smile. They tell me to go for it, have fun & make money. If anyone doesn't like it to get s life.

    It is all apart of the growing process & life. Life is better when you weed out the people who never really had your back.

    What you can do is shame people right back & tell them how their love & friendship must be fake because you are still the same person & the job is legal.

    Once my step Mom asked me when was I going to get a real job instead of being a stripper over Thanksgiving Dinner. Told her when a real job pays my real bills. Never got any more flack after that, whole family just laughed.

    Cause my real money bailed a sister out of jail & once helped save my Moms house. Which was paid back to me.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Not all parent shun & not all girls call you a slut..
    A lot of them do.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    A lot of them do.
    And you never know which ones will until they find out, and then it's too late to undo it.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Regular folks will hold it against you. Silence is golden.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Nice to see someone who has done " both sides " . I've always been heavily closeted but I did it for a reason - the difference in how you are treating being #1.
    Quote Originally Posted by BarbieNYC View Post
    arielbriel I wish I could thank your post 1000 times

    When I lived across the country everyone over there knew. And once I moved back home I did not tell a soul. The difference in how you are treated is like night and day. I made way more money over there but I save more being back home because I don't pay for everyone. I like everyone around me to think I'm broke and keeping it that way.

    Also people love to see you fall down from a pedestal so all your so called friends who "support" you dancing won't be there to support you if you ever fall on hard financial times. It will get thrown in your face if you are doing poorly and ask for help "Why don't you just go to work you'll be able to make it in one night. You don't have to wait for a paycheck like the rest of us" etc.

    I will share a story for you. This new girl started at my spot and has been best friends with her roommate for 10+years. Her roommate is a woman who would never get hired at a club, even a dive or urban club. At first her roommate was coming as support, now she is there every night almost like a pimp and I see her watching how much money her friend makes and sometimes I see hints of jealousy. That is a 10+ year friendship I see going down the drain. Please keep it to yourself.

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    Default Re: Keeping my job secret - struggles

    Lol...yeah they WILL turn on you. I use to be the sweetest girl, but yeah I’ve had to cut off family because of it. I’m sorry. I only laugh because it’s insane that anyone cares what I do with body. You know male strippers dont deal with this kinda crazy shaming.
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 10-15-2017 at 12:11 AM.

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