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Thread: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

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    Newbie mnblondempls's Avatar
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    Default Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    BUT WHY??
    okay im gonna ask the questions at the top and then if you feel like reading more and why im asking and hopefully have some sort of advice and wanna see if u can understand why im asking such silly questions-DETAILS BELOW. i will warn im very detailed and its kinda alot. i so appreciate it though. So...

    1.Why do girls GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to LIE and start drama JUST BECAUSE im pretty, have a brain and personality, and i FOLLOW THE RULES?
    2.How do you table dance without feeling goofy?
    3.What are things you do and say during a lapdance that way it doesnt seem like your just dry humping and aggressively dry humping someones lap or leg-i fkn CRINGE and try my best to not do this-recently got yelled at and lost money to the house for NOT being sexy enough by not dry humping violently by my boss for her friend-UGH WTF?
    4.what cities do blondes with morals, big tits, not much ass-yet, soon to be decent dancing skills, a dirty sense of humor, and a very friendly positive personality usually do decent in? i wanna travel a little bit after superbowl. and dancing gives me more an excuse to hit all 50.
    5. How do you start or direct the conversation to where he will not turn down a lap dance? or at least be where he has a harder time turning it down? what do u say? sounds stupid or maybe its cuz there is alcohol and he really just tryina get a free show? i know i aint showin S**t til i see money but maybe thats where im going wrong?
    6.How do you bring up being paid for time, or offer to bring up VIP even if he just wants to talk? or a tip? im struggling all a sudden.
    Okay so ill admit i straight STALK this forum in my free time for HOURS at a time, and i wanna say first of all THANK EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT HAS EVER COMMENTED HERE OR POSTED ABOUT ANYTHING! wow u guys are my heros, seriously. ive only been doing this four months and WOW what ive gone through to only be the beginning yet SW is my manual/bible i swear.
    so since last post, i finally grew a pair and auditioned at a club in Wisconsin, (LAST NIGHT to be exact) and LOL i am so glad i got thru it. with flying colors, or something because i literally remember rolling around on the floor, stretching, and closing my eyes while smiling from laughing at how stupid i could imagine myself looking LOL. i am so glad i got it because once that was over, the rest of the night the other girls spent teaching me things on stage all night, which i am so thankful for cuz now i feel like PRACTICE REALLY DOES MAKE-IMPROVEMENTS? LOL anyways.
    now the week prior, i had went to centerfolds in superior to work because i guess they NEEDED girls there, and my close friend is a bartender. so she talked to her boss and the boss told me to drive up that night and work thru the 17th. TOTALLY DIFFERENT HUSTLE + TOPLESS AND THERE WAS BOOSE!! worked out financially (kind of) the best ive done yet so far, and also i was usually the ONLY dancer. however i guess they recently fired every single other dancer except 3 girls? anyway, and with the help of this forum, and lessons i learned in the past i knew better than to be friendly or even speak to these girls other than smile and mind my own and keep to myself. THANK GOD! but not even a week, girls were setting me up, trying to get me fired and i AM SO SICK OF THAT INSECURE HATER S**T i figured why not audition down closer to home it couldnt hurt if i passed or failed. was gonna go back up there if i had to. Couple things;

    Why do girls GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to LIE and start drama JUST BECAUSE im pretty, have a brain and personality, and i FOLLOW THE RULES? i know im hurting their money but i mean come onnn, STEP YOUR GAME UP?? I would think i would if i had issues like that? what the hell is negativity gonna do? i personally dont have the time and energy for that but i guess to each their own right? thank god this new club im at has a ZERO BULLSHIT policy and the girls and staff and customers so far are very professional helpful and respectful. im praying this keeps up, now however its SLOW, and strict too.

    strict i mean like im finding myself filtering my normal hustle, like meaning not so many aggressive dirty jokes and comments, not knowing how to ask or demand a dance (im usually really good at one liners and 9 times out of 10 i could get a dance if i asked) but in MPLS, but in a club that serves boose im finding it to be harder, PLUS this new one is $10 table dances, which is NO CONTACT PERIOD. im not sure how to air dance yet since ive worked at 2 heavy contact clubs. im dying to learn because im travelling to the northern soon, and i wanna dance all over the US. also need to know what areas and states and cities do the best for being white, blue eyes, big REAL DD boobs, fairly skinny, and a big outgoing friendly personality with a strong flirty and sick sense of humor. i am a VERY GOOD TALKER, but now im struggling with how to take the conversation to the point where if he doesnt ask for the dance then i do. im getting turned down and maybe its cuz these guys come to drink and dont ever intend on spending money or maybe im talking to much or WHO KHOWS but im doing something wrong and i need expert advice. LOL im also finding it difficult to ask for a tip, AND I REALLY NEED HELP figuring out what to say or how to ask to be paid for talking to them, or how do i convince them to go in the back if they just wanna talk? HOW DO I WORD THIS STUFF? or how do i tell them i need money for the time i wasted on their cheap ass if thats the case? lol i know that maybe thats not always the case but in my head thats what im thinking.
    i have many many questions im starting to write them down and when i get home i always think of asking them here but i get so busy reading all the threads in hustle hut, or where ever, i forget to sit down and type because im balls deep into the forums researching FOR HOURS on end hoping i find an answer. these are some that im finding harder to come across.
    anything is appreciated and sorry for the long post.

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    Veteran Member GypsyLace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Ok. I'll admit I started skim reading this near the end , but it sounds like you got you a pretty standard case of " Newbieitis". Basically you've been dancing long enough for your fresh new girl shine to have faded a little and you still don't have the experience with customers to take its place . It's a pig but there are,I'm sorry to say, no magic words that will make customers take you for a dance .it's experience , trial and error from here on in. You have to learn what men you appeal most to, how to work out who they are, and how to speak to those types . After THAT ,you'll learn how to identify and speak with customers who aren't your usual type effectively . Unfortunately though, there is no bypassing that learning process and no substitute for experience . Best advice I can give is to ALWAYS ask for a dance/tip/VIP ( The worst they can say is no ), make sure you talk to EVERY SINGLE GUY IN THE ROOM and ask all of them , and to hold onto your temper no matter what. Try not to drink too much while you're working and try every approach you can think of . One will feel natural and will work and you will start to work within that structure effectively .
    “Around the outside of the room other beautiful women wearing little or nothing at all flitted between the infatuated, intoxicated men, sometimes luring them away for a private dance. The men would follow obediently, weighed down by lust and credit cards.”
    R.D. Ronald, The Zombie Room

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  4. #3
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Here's my probably too blunt advice.

    1) Get off your high horse about "morals" and "following the rules" and having a "brain and personality." If girls are starting drama with you, and you think it's over that, I'd bet it's because you are lording this attitude over them, however subtly. Sure, don't be an extras girl, but we're all getting naked for money, let's be real. We ALL have a brain and a personality though it may be different from yours. Nobody likes a girl who comes in acting like they're better than everyone, especially not a newbie.

    Also, we can smell newbies. Like, blood in the water. It's possible that the clubs are just slow and they just don't want any more girls, so they're trying to run you out.

    2) Can't teach this on an internet forum. Trial and error. Ask a trusted customer for tips maybe. Move slowly and focus on drawing their eye to assets.

    3) I don't talk during a dance. At all. It's not necessary unless you want to make dirty talk part of your game. But again, can't teach this. Just move super slowly and sensual.

    4) I would NOT suggest traveling yet if you can't even get the hustle down for your own club. You'll inevitably end up in a club much different than yours & be really up shit creek because you don't even have one hustle style to draw from.

    5) This is the skill in hustling. You eventually learn what kind of guy responds to what. Some dudes are instantly sold if you use numbers or economics ("You're getting a better deal in VIP and here's the numbers"), some are sold with promises of intimacy and privacy for 'getting to know each other', some on being a baller and looking cool... Etc. Read Hustle Hut more. Maybe get DancerWealth.

    6) Again, skill learned with time. Just don't sit for more than 3 songs without being paid. Suggest a dance/room. If he insists he's having fun talking to you, remind him gently "Aww me too! but I am at work... so if you wanted to take care of me $$ wise, I would love to stay!" If he agrees, MAKE SURE YOU PUT OUT A NUMBER. You don't wanna end up with $50 for 2 hours. "Yay! Normally I make about $100/hour, is that ok?" Etc.
    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g
    Once a guy gets you to lower your expectations then that is all you are worth to him from then on.
    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    1. Strip clubs can be drama filled and the girls can be vicious and brutal but you seem EXTREMELY unlikeable so maybe they're not jealous because you're "pretty and have a brainnnnnn" they just don't like you? Not that I think its okay to lie about someone or mess with them just because theyre annoying but some girls do so you don't wanna act superior and stuck up and make yourself an easier target for club BS.

    2. Just have to keep doing it until it feels natural.

    3. I personally don't talk unless they strike up a conversation first. I answer questions if they ask and I'm friendly but I dont really say anything unless I'm responding to something they say first.

    4. I don't know about all that. I don't have experience in many cities and I don't have that look but I do know there isn't any city where the other dancers or just people in general are gonna take a liking to someone who loves pointing out how amazing they are and pulls the "I'm smart and classy I'm not like other strippers!" Card.

    5. You just have to play it by ear. Every dancer is different, every customer is different it isn't really something that can be learned without just experiencing it and the same hustle doesn't work for every customer. Also, some guys just will say no to a dance its inevitable unfortunately.

    6. I don't waste much time "just talking" I'm on the job and if they don't understand that or get offended by me being in it for the money they're probably the type who just wants to pay the fee to get in to the club and order the minimum drink(s) and get a free stage show so they're not worth wasting my time on. I basically just introduce myself, smile, ask how theyre doing tonight, maybe give them a compliment and that's as much talking as I do before asking if he wants to go to VIP. If he says he just wants to talk I just act like of course the only place to do that is in VIP like oh awesome I wanna talk to you too come on let's go! And then tell him the price, etc.

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    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Other posters made great points but i wanted to answer #3.
    I work in a lot of different contact levels and i find in low/no contact clubs i basically talk the whole time i'm dancing, about literally anything i can that they are interested in to keep them interested. In air/no contact dances there's only so many ways you can silently pose.

    In contact dances i am quieter but if i feel a guy wants to chat and that will keep him continuing i do it.

    Also re your "have a brain" comment, yeah you're probably projecting a "better than you" attitude. Not cute. A lot of these women who you think have "no brain" are actually highly educated, financially savvy, and/or incredible manipulators. The dumb act works well in a club so girls use it. The club isn't about self expression, it's about making as much money as possible.
    Not saying every dancer is a rocket scientist but never judge somebody off their work persona.

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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Honestly... stay out of the drama, and why the hell do you even care what the other girls think or say???? unless its directly hurting YOUR money, don't give that nonsense energy.

    I personally think blondes do better midwest/texas/westcoast.
    and I reiterate what Selina M said for the most part, but I am personally really chatty during dances.. after the first half song or song, I'm like..."soooooooo tell me about yourself", Ive had plenty of guys buy 5 or more dances that were honestly just talking hahaha

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    #1, Such is life, whether it's a 'straight' job, the bus stop, church or the flippin' Zoo, drama will be undertaken.
    Honestly, no shade to you, but my eyes glazed over (it's early) w/the long post so I didn't finish reading
    Actually scratch the zoo cause aminals know better?
    Although I have an article about a monkey, he was given a Guard dog cause he was bullied..

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    Veteran Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    i seriously didn't even read half of this, i didn't bother after seeing "why does everyone hate me cause i'm so pretty" type bullshit. i'm sorry but i cannot stand girls with that attitude. 9 times out of 10 the reason people are hating on you is NOT because of how you look. and with that kind of entitled attitude you'll never self reflect or better yourself and will always continue to annoy people for whatever reason, i don't know what you're doing wrong because i don't know you but maybe you should try and figure it out instead of telling yourself it's because you're simply too beautiful.

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    Newbie mnblondempls's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    wow very blunt advice and i seriously appreciate it. i didnt know i was at all coming off like that but now that i am aware ill be way more cautious. i can see how that would piss people off. makes sense so thank you! i think i was taking the confidence thing way too serious when they say "fake it til you make it"
    and the rest i appreciate it, ill probably play the "dumb" act for a while and see if that helps because sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble.
    like i said i really appreciate the advice, gonna take it in and thank you. yeah it stung a little at first but im a big girl gotta take it for what it is and accept it and change it. now i know where to go for the truth!!!

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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Definitely traveling more will help you with "perspective" ; seriously if you think you're too hot go to Elleven in Miami and watch them reject you and see what kinds of girls they hire or hell come to Diamond in Denver and watch the manager say they won't hire you because you're too fat because you don't have a sixpack.

    Traveling more to get a better idea of things will help you a lot, trust me my first 1.5 yrs dancing I thought I was hot shit and my shit didn't stink because I made over 7k a week.. sometimes 3-5k nightly but my ego got the best of me and I got knocked on my ass. I'm sure all of us have experienced it. Better to check yourself before life does for you.

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    Senior Member Leica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Quote Originally Posted by NYC.Bianca View Post
    Better to check yourself before life does for you.
    OP, this is the best advice you’re going to get. ����������������
    Adapt and Overcome.

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    Veteran Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    OP i feel bad for being kind of mean, it's just a pet peeve of mine. it's good that you seem willing to learn and take advice though. i've worked in big fancy clubs and also in crappy dives where i stood out as being the most conventionally "hot" but i almost never have any issues with other girls because i don't really think i'm better than everyone else. i've worked with some girls like that, and yeah they're beautiful and make lots of money, but their shitty personality and over inflated ego are the real reason why all the other girls hate them. but thanks to everyone saying "don't worry baby those girls are just jealous" they will never learn to be humble and drama will follow them everywhere they go.

    i agree that traveling and trying different clubs could be a good idea too

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    Hey mnBlonde, I'm going to move this thread to the Newbie sub-forum since it seems you are a new dancer asking some pretty standard questions. Just letting you know where to find your thread from now on.

    You said you peruse Hustle Hut a lot, but make sure if you are looking for a specific issue/question, use the search function. It's not perfect, but it will help you find better answers than scrolling through page after page of random topics and could cut down your research time significantly!

    DancerWealth was mentioned earlier. It has been revamped and I'm in the middle of it myself. I think it's pretty helpful for hustling and getting in a good mindset, and DancerVictory and DancerWise are good add-ons that I think you can get at a pretty decent price if you bundle them all together. (I don't remember exactly how much I paid, but it wasn't bad at all). The website for that is stripandgrowrich.com and there's a whole thread devoted to it in Hustle Hut. I have some posts in that thread, being disappointed the first time I bought it because they were smack dab in the middle of revamping and things got screwed up. I gave it another shot, and I'm pleased.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

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  24. #14
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh MAN....Feeling super stupid but PLEASE HELP!! STRUGGLE HUSTLIN here

    I don't have a subscription to DancerWealth but the samples seem pretty good and it would be helpful for newbies because it's laid out so organized. Much better than wading through HH and getting overwhelmed.
    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g
    Once a guy gets you to lower your expectations then that is all you are worth to him from then on.
    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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