Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 26

Thread: Dirty Feeling

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Dirty Feeling

    I've been dancing for almost three years, started when I was 23, am 26 now, have never done any "dirty" dancing/gone home with anyone, etc. But lately I've just been feeling gross/dirty in the middle of dances. And, like, "objectified." I used think "objectified" was just a made up term men used to discourage women from stripping. But now I like know what they mean.

    Can anyone explain this to me?? I have no idea what's going on, how do I stop this, how do I go back to loving every moment of my career?!?!

  2. #2
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    67
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 41 Times in 18 Posts
    My Mood
    Confused

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Hmm sometimes I get this feeling too, in the middle of a dance when a guy is touching my tits. I just think to myself - think about how much you're getting paid for this... you would have to work x hours working a shitty 10 dollar an hour job and still wouldn't make as much as I did during this dance. I'd be getting barked at by rude customers (without being able to say anything back), etc for so little. I think to myself... this job gives me financial freedom. It gives me the freedom to only go to work 3 ish days a week. It gives me the freedom to do well in school (with the time I have not working 40 hours a week).

    Always makes me feel better.

  3. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to cindyrella For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    5,067
    Thanks
    6,589
    Thanked 26,854 Times in 4,529 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    You want more from life & more from men. You want to be able to respect men & not see them as pigs who just want to use women without a single thought to how it may harm them. Problem is every woman in just about every industry at some point feels that way.

    Difference is you get to exploit them for cash money instead of hoping a lawyer can get you a good divorce settlement or sexual harassment settlement.


  5. #4
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Yeah, I always think about how men always leer at me disgustingly anyway. I just don't know why I never had this feeling before?! Because I was too young and naive to before....? Because I was new and I super enjoyed lap dances....?

  6. #5
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    So this like random disillusioned dirty feeling isnt going to like screw me up paychologically like the conventional sexist wisdom says....? I think if I tried to be more detached during dances it would go away. Right now I'm in the habit of trying to put my heart and soul into dances....so I think doing that several times a day makes me feel trashy. I'm just trying to figure out a way of seeming authentic without putting my heart into it? Any tips? Acting tips I guess?

  7. #6
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Just charge more money or get some high rollers. Then feel good about all the things you can do for yourself and positive experiences you can have. Don't dance for asshats even if it means going home with less money that night.

  8. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  9. #7
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    5,067
    Thanks
    6,589
    Thanked 26,854 Times in 4,529 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Men will try to get away with as much as they can with spending as little money as possible.

    Make it a game, you get as much money out of them as possible for doing as little as possible. The high rollers love that game & will give you more money for it in the long run. They respect a gal who knows the game & how to play it.

    In the first few years you don't have the developed abilities to see through what is really going on, but over time your brain does and then one day it just hits you like a ton of bricks. Being about to see the micro-nuances from a smile to a leer/sneer.

    Now use it to your advantage, because they have been using every tool they can think of to get over on you.
    Last edited by Sam38g; 10-29-2017 at 12:21 PM.

  10. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Sam38g For This Useful Post:


  11. #8
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    It's True^!!

  12. #9
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    5,067
    Thanks
    6,589
    Thanked 26,854 Times in 4,529 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Your lucky I was in denial & held out hope that men were all good or mostly good until my early 40s. ALL men are selfish pricks NONE of them will EVER have your best interest at heart. Growing up none of the men in your life ever warned you either.

    All men lie. All men assume we are lying & conning them because it is what they are up too. Women generally are good people and assume everyone does right by others cause it is how you think. Can NEVER assume how you think is how everyone else does.

  13. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Sam38g For This Useful Post:


  14. #10
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Again, so True!^
    Sam you should write a book about this!^

  15. #11
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    5,067
    Thanks
    6,589
    Thanked 26,854 Times in 4,529 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Quote Originally Posted by charlotteisrad View Post
    So this like random disillusioned dirty feeling isnt going to like screw me up paychologically like the conventional sexist wisdom says....? I think if I tried to be more detached during dances it would go away. Right now I'm in the habit of trying to put my heart and soul into dances....so I think doing that several times a day makes me feel trashy. I'm just trying to figure out a way of seeming authentic without putting my heart into it? Any tips? Acting tips I guess?
    Convention sexist wisdom is Men being pissed off that we are onto them and the fucked up shit they do.

    Any man who calls women Jaded is really saying "I mad that you won't fall for my lies & not hold me accountable for my crimes against women."

    They don't care if you are authentic or not just as long as they get what they want.

    You are putting your heart & soul into a job, no matter what job you have. Do NOT let it be your life. Put you heart & soul into the people you love, doing stuff that makes you happy. Your heart & soul is way more expensive than the $20 they are spending just for your tits & ass.

    If you enjoy dancing then pursue it as an art form in your time off. There is always Burlesque which is about entertainment, teasing & denial, joking.

  16. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sam38g For This Useful Post:


  17. #12
    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,194
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked 2,637 Times in 851 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    did you change cities/clubs?

    i felt this way when i moved to texas because it is vastly different than where i started out dancing. so i get that dirty feeling sometimes because while i don't do extras i have adapted to allow more contact. it's just impossible to make money here doing what i used to do ($20 air dances with a bikini on). you can charge more yes, but because so many other girls offer more for less.. you'll probably leave with nothing sometimes and not everyone can afford to go that route

    my solution has been to start webcamming and mainly strip on weekends when there are plenty of customers to go around so i can afford to walk away from anything that makes me uncomfortable and just be onto the next

  18. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Girl Anachronism For This Useful Post:


  19. #13
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    5,067
    Thanks
    6,589
    Thanked 26,854 Times in 4,529 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Again, so True!^
    Sam you should write a book about this!^
    Thank you, but this is my book where it helps the most amount of women. Where as if it was on Amazon, mostly curious people looking for scandals & celebrity names would buy it.

  20. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Sam38g For This Useful Post:


  21. #14
    Veteran Member NYC.Bianca's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    321
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked 594 Times in 190 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    I had the same thing happen as well...about 2-3 years in I noticed all the changes that happened to me internally. The same thing happens in modeling. After awhile... you just feel like this shallow surface shell of a person. I would really recommend switching up clubs or taking a break for a few months if you can to re-focus on the positives of dancing. Taking breaks always help me "reset" in a way. I also notice there are some clubs that I feel a lot more exploited and objectified at than others, and I think that comes down to how often Im on stage, and how the general customer base is. I have some clubs I know I can't work very long at because of how quickly I feel objectified and how much I have to fight that feeling while there(honestly super stage heavy clubs like on stage often make me feel more objectified than ones where I have more one on one time with someone). So maybe switch to a gentlemens club with higher end clientele you can talk to about a lot of things, like traveling and life goals.. I find those clubs help with that feeling a lot because I feel more valued as a person by the customer and they care about the "quality" of the dancer.

  22. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NYC.Bianca For This Useful Post:


  23. #15
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Yeah I just switched from Austin to Houston (Austin customers are generally completely hands off). I like the customers in Houston better bc that's where I'm from but there's just so many stupid sluts here customers always expect to touch (though the first club I ever worked at was in Houston so for quite a while I was used to it and didn't mind at all).

    I honestly think it's just because the club I work at now, though not necessarily trashy customers or mgmt just has the trashiest damn interior! Does anyone else feel trashy, no matter how much fun/money/respect you get, just feel disgusting dancing in a place with cheap carpet and lighting?! Am I the only one?!

  24. #16
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Edmonton
    Posts
    1,668
    Thanks
    2,969
    Thanked 4,552 Times in 1,250 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Quote Originally Posted by charlotteisrad View Post
    I honestly think it's just because the club I work at now, though not necessarily trashy customers or mgmt just has the trashiest damn interior! Does anyone else feel trashy, no matter how much fun/money/respect you get, just feel disgusting dancing in a place with cheap carpet and lighting?! Am I the only one?!
    I have definitely worked everywhere from really upscale places to a bar that literally had a chipboard floor, and regardless of where you are go in like a rock star and own it. Honestly there's way more clubs out there on the trashy end than upscale and many of them are way more fun and laid back to work. It also gives something to joke about with customers. They are aware the club is a shithole, but they come there to see you, not the decor. Also once girls work a really ~glamorous~ club with 8000 rules and fees the image really wears off quickly. If you can make good money in a super relaxed club ultimately you're gonna work more shifts which adds up to the best money in the end.

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SuperJa For This Useful Post:


  26. #17
    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,194
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked 2,637 Times in 851 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Quote Originally Posted by charlotteisrad View Post
    Yeah I just switched from Austin to Houston (Austin customers are generally completely hands off). I like the customers in Houston better bc that's where I'm from but there's just so many stupid sluts here customers always expect to touch (though the first club I ever worked at was in Houston so for quite a while I was used to it and didn't mind at all).

    I honestly think it's just because the club I work at now, though not necessarily trashy customers or mgmt just has the trashiest damn interior! Does anyone else feel trashy, no matter how much fun/money/respect you get, just feel disgusting dancing in a place with cheap carpet and lighting?! Am I the only one?!
    haha, i'm in austin actually and it's not that bad but definitely a lot more than i was used to before i moved here.

    i felt really dirty when i tried dancing in houston and never went back. there are probably more high rollers there but i found it to be very trashy and high milage (not to say that you can't make money dancing clean but a lot of contact seemed to be the norm and many girls do extras)

    maybe try a different club or travel dance? you're a short road trip away from a few good cities

  27. #18
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Quote Originally Posted by charlotteisrad View Post
    So this like random disillusioned dirty feeling isnt going to like screw me up paychologically like the conventional sexist wisdom says....? I think if I tried to be more detached during dances it would go away. Right now I'm in the habit of trying to put my heart and soul into dances....so I think doing that several times a day makes me feel trashy. I'm just trying to figure out a way of seeming authentic without putting my heart into it? Any tips? Acting tips I guess?
    Hon, all the money in the world won't wipe that feeling out. Stand up for your physical/emotional boundaries. You don't want to be touched? Tell them and stop them. So as for your question on lasting effects--yes, it will screw you up mentally. It is equivalent to rape to be touched sexually by someone you don't want to touch you. So you will have PTSD and self loathing, etc. I'm not a dude or just making this up. You are free to do a search to read up on the effects of sexual abuse. If you want to protect yourself, you can.

    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...-of-Your-Worth
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  28. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Optimist For This Useful Post:


  29. #19
    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,194
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked 2,637 Times in 851 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    ^^ what sucks is that even if you do stop them, some damage has already been done. the initial lick/grab/slap still happened before you smacked their hands away and said no. even if you stand up for yourself, it can still be traumatizing :/ especially in a place with high contact and extras even a clean dancer with strict boundaries can end up feeling dirty at the end of the night from all the hands and mouths that made contact even if only for a second

  30. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Girl Anachronism For This Useful Post:


  31. #20
    Member vanillaandpeaches.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 21 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    i only started dancing a little over a month ago, but on a weekend two weeks ago, i had this customer who would do this weird thing to my nipples. my nipples are super fucking sensitive and i HATE it when customers do anything to them. i honestly only let people touch them at all because literally every girl in the club does and there's no way for me to make money if i don't.
    but this dude omg. so i said "it hurts me, man, please stop" and he just kind of laughed, kept going and said "i am just doing it softly". LIKE ARE U KIDDING ME?! i just said it hurts, dont fucking argue with me, asshat. so i slapped him and said STOP IT and he was then like oh ok sorry, but i still feel so gross and violated. even now, just thinking back to it.
    it's good money for sure, but it is dirty money. we are objects to these men.
    another thing that really irks me is when someone tries to bargain for a 10$ lapdance. like, wtf is wrong with you?! im not going to dance naked on you for a ten.

    i guess we just have to be above it all and focus on the goal which is money and personal development. it only makes us stronger

  32. The Following User Says Thank You to vanillaandpeaches. For This Useful Post:


  33. #21
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Edmonton
    Posts
    1,668
    Thanks
    2,969
    Thanked 4,552 Times in 1,250 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    ^^

    We're always objects to men, it's just obvious in the club. They don't hide it like they do outside.

    If something crosses your boundaries don't let them do it. It doesn't matter what the other girls are doing. It might cost you some repeat dances but they are dances you didn't want to do anyways. Try to find custies you keep entertained by chatting and joking etc, not just them grabbing at you.
    Check out other clubs in your area to see if the mileage might be lower.

  34. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SuperJa For This Useful Post:


  35. #22
    Veteran Member NYC.Bianca's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    321
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked 594 Times in 190 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Yah i am going to get more strict about the nipple thing like you girls mentioned, seriously its an issue with some guys that don't listen, if i tell a guy not to touch or play with my nipples and he continually does it I'm just going to tell him to sit on his hands. MOST guys all will pay anyways and we all know dirty guys are almost never good tippers and are usually trying to get shit for free or are cheap asses.
    I had 2 major things happen yesterday where i didn't honor my own boundaries with guys and let them do TO much and i am really suffering the emotional consequences today so please ladies, tell these fuckers its my way or the highway, we are all in this industry together and need to keep it on our terms!

  36. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to NYC.Bianca For This Useful Post:


  37. #23
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    I never said anyone was touching me? Please READ my posts before you reply to them.

  38. #24
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Idk, I just can't handle dancing next to a mounted deer head :/

  39. The Following User Says Thank You to charlotteisrad For This Useful Post:


  40. #25
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    665
    Thanks
    4,041
    Thanked 1,444 Times in 520 Posts

    Default Re: Dirty Feeling

    Quote Originally Posted by NYC.Bianca View Post
    Yah i am going to get more strict ....
    I had 2 major things happen yesterday where i didn't honor my own boundaries with guys and let them do TO much and i am really suffering the emotional consequences today so please ladies, tell these fuckers its my way or the highway, we are all in this industry together and need to keep it on our terms!
    ^^ it's a lot of work to enforce boundaries! Especially when you're working hard, have a family and home and friends not to mention many of us have second jobs or school or whatever! I've definitely been exhausted at work and let boundaries be crossed and then felt like shit the good news is boundaries are enforceabie , just this week this guy was pushing limits and I'd been chatting with him and new he was a teacher, i was like you're being a bad kid, do you want me to punish you , don't you want to be the teachers pet? He definitely got it, when they get too horny many many men forget you're a fucking person. It's sad ��! It's a stripper's job to constantly remind the customer of this while arousing him that she's a hot professional doing a private show with limits and some men don't want that at a certain point they're like why aren't you a whore though... seriously our job is so hard when people think we just go get money it's so funny to me it hurts.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Dirty Doorman, Dirty Dancers, Dirty Club
    By Sinn in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-28-2012, 10:35 PM
  2. Head Turner you dirty,dirty DIRTYYYYYY
    By High-Heel-Lover in forum General Board
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-23-2008, 09:04 PM
  3. Dirty Dirty Dancing
    By SugarArt in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 09-25-2007, 03:57 PM
  4. Dirty Dirty Girls
    By Darcy Foxx in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 75
    Last Post: 02-13-2007, 01:45 PM
  5. Feeling Dirty : (
    By Shayden in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-16-2003, 05:24 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •