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Thread: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

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    Default I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    Hello, I'm new.

    While I've toyed with the idea of dancing since adolescence (I'm 30 now), I've only gotten serious about it this year. I have debts that are beginning to mount and my day job simply isn't cutting it.

    I spent all day today preparing to audition at a club not far from my home. I got there (I commute by bus) and realized that I forgot my I.D., so I had to go home. I talked myself into attempting to go back, got outside and became frustrated because I couldn't find my bus pass. I missed the bus...and found my bus pass in my pocket. I gave up and have called it a night.

    The point of that story is that I cannot let go of this terrible anxiety about auditioning and stripping in general. I think it was so bad tonight that I ended up blanking out and making stupid mistakes. I am not totally comfortable with my body (my bum is somewhat darker than the rest of my body - how embarrassing), but mostly, I'm very shy and easily overstimulated. In other words, I'm afraid that I won't dance well or will be noticeably awkward due to stress (noisy, busy environment; having to concentrate on moves, not falling, etc) and fear (of rejection).

    I'm going to try to give it another shot tomorrow, so if anyone can spare some words of encouragement, thanks!

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    Featured Member trustfundkiller's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    The nerves are going to be there and you're never going to feel adequately prepared so my best advice is to jump in and get started. Make a checklist of everything you'll need for your audition/shift since you'll likely be able to start working that night, and double check that you have everything before you leave the house.

    We all have body insecurities but men love all body types, and I doubt they would notice something as subtle as your butt being slightly darker than the rest of your body. Besides, if it really bothers you, you can even out the pigmentation with self-tanner. Overcoming shyness and learning how to approach customers with confidence is something you will pick up on the job. Dancing isn't really a big deal and you don't have to shake your ass like a video vixen if that's not your thing. Move slowly, be sensual, smile on stage, and you'll do fine.

    There's a learning curve to everything. You will get the hang of it! Good luck!

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    Auditioning is intimidating for almost everyone, even for seasoned dancers trying out a new club. (It's a different environment, there's the pressure that comes from being judged, plus, most people can't entertain the idea of getting naked in front of strangers without freaking out.)

    You probably will look awkward your first time on stage, but so did every girl in the club at one point. You just have to brace yourself and do it, like jumping into a cold pool. Follow trustfundkiller's dancing advice (and point your toes!) and you'll be fine!

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    You're going to do great!!

    One of the best pieces of advice I got about fear of auditioning was to look at it this way: you're not risking your life, you'll be just fine, and in a few hours it'll be over. You'll get to relax knowing that you gave it a shot, and you can be proud of yourself for being so brave.

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    No one starts off amazing, I've seen newbs who are stiff as a board, and girls who hid in the corner for almost their entire first week. You'll be okay

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    The one thing that got me through my audition was that all these guys have seen it all before. Nobody is going to boo at yoy, or throw tomatoes. Just get up, breathe, smile, and move slowly. It is only a 3-5 min. performance. One day you'll be bored onstage.

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    Try getting a job as a waitress first.
    There are plenty of online jobs you can do from home & there is a list of them somewhere on this site.

    Men are not as picky as you think.

    I can't imagine checking my whole body & realizing skin color of booty is darker than the rest as in being so critical. Hell, in adult what is weird or off is a major selling point. How you sell it is what matters. If they notice, say "Yes, it is & you love it don't you. Makes you want another dance to see it more."

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    start at a really low end club that you know is 'beneath' you, that will help with insecurities. and i told myself on my first night 'these people don't know me so who cares if they see me naked/if i embarrass myself,etc."

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    start at a really low end club that you know is 'beneath' you, that will help with insecurities. and i told myself on my first night 'these people don't know me so who cares if they see me naked/if i embarrass myself,etc."
    I did this when I first started too! I worked at a total dive and stayed there about a month so I could get the gist of stripping in a low pressure environment, and it was a great decision. If I started in a mid tier or high-end club where most of the girls looked great and knew the basics of selling, I probably would have been so intimidated I wouldn't have lasted. Seriously, at this club if you had all your teeth, were under 300lbs (no offense to anyone), and didn't have any bullet scars, you were instantly the hottest girl there. I was a damn mess when I started stripping; didn't know how to do hair, makeup, had no idea how to look after my appearance and I did great in a dive.

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    Default Re: I Keep Psyching Myself Out - Insecurities

    Great Advice!!!!

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