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Thread: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

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    Default Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    I've lurked around here for a while looking at the site and the conversations going on. I've been a casual SC customer for many years. I enjoy the interaction and I have a good time. Now, I humbly approach with a situation that I need some honest feedback on.

    At a local club where I frequent, I ran into my ATF after having not seen her for over a year. We talked for a little bit and I bought dances with her. I asked her if she still works for the same company I do (we work in completely separate departments so we never interact at work). She said she did and on a whim (for the first time ever at a SC) I asked for and she gave me her real name. I messaged her at work the next day (not about the SC) and we chat regularly there about regular everyday happenings, plus I stopped out to see her a week ago and plan to try to visit once a month to get dances. She only goes to the club twice a month, so she is not a regular dancer and does this for extra income.

    I am in virgin territory here (pardon the pun), because I had never done this before. I know that when a dancer gives a customer their real name, to me that is the ultimate in trust. Last time I was out there, we had a good talk about that and set what we expected, etc. We consider each other work friends as well as have that stripper/customer relationship. She said she appreciates the honesty and we'd see how things go.

    So, ladies, is there anything else I can do? I know for a fact I don't want a personal dating relationship with her, I'm married and she is in a long-term relationship. I'm also fully aware of the pay-to-play ramifications of the business and I am a willing participant. I just want to be able to show that her trust was not misplaced because in my world when someone puts their trust in me I don't want to violate that (more important in this day and age considering how many people don't keep their word). I want to do the right thing by her.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMaskedPL View Post
    So, ladies, is there anything else I can do?
    Yes, you can just leave her alone.

    For all you know, she is playing along while secretly mortified that one part of her life has bled into the other. As the old sports expression goes, act like you've been there before. If she were not a stripper, you would not be seeking out a married co-worker who you have no pre-existing relationship with as it would be utterly inappropriate. The fact that you saw her in the club does not confer upon you any special relationship that makes what you are doing OK.

    So IMHO you should walk away and see how it goes. If she has any genuine interest in furthering any type of relationship with you, she can certainly take the initiative as your attraction to her is likely quite apparent. If she doesn't reach out further, then you know that your advances were never really welcome in the first place.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    I am confused as to what you are hoping to get out of this. You stated that you are married and that she is in a long-term relationship. The fact that you work together complicates things and I agree with rickdugan. She might just be being friendly towards you because of the co-worker situation, not wanting you to out her at work. That is a legit fear for someone who is moonlighting part-time as a stripper while maintaining a full-time vanilla job. Really, all you can do is respect that you two have a business relationship. You go to the club to see her dance, tip her, but do not threaten to out her as a way to coerce her into doing anything that she doesn't want to do. I say this because I once worked a vanilla job while working part-time as a dancer. A co-worker happened to see me there working. What started off as a customer-stripper arrangement, quickly turned into a disaster because of this co-worker getting mad that I wouldn't date him, have sex with him, or give him free lapdances. The co-worker outed me and totally destroyed my reputation beyond repair at my vanilla job and I had to quit. I think you need to be honest with yourself with what you are really looking for with this co-worker. Something tells me that it's more than just casual curiosity and interest. Don't make something more complicated than it is. You want to get dances from her, go get dances from her but don't try to force anything that isn't there.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    I agree with Rick. I am not sure how it came to be you figured out that she worked for the same co. as you? Maybe she told you she worked there in convo or you mentioned you worked there and she said "me too!" without thinking about it... but if it were me I would be nervous you would out me at work. To me the person she is at her vanilla job is probably nothing like the fantasy role she tries to portray at the club... the 2 really should not be blending together like that.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"




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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    She had mentioned it to me a couple of years ago but at the time never thought of it. We work in separate buildings so we never see each other plus we don’t know anyone in common. I have been a SC customer for years and never even went down the road nor did I ever consider it as I didn’t want to complicate things. Last time I talked to her at the club is when she and I talked and set the boundaries. She told me we were good and I won’t out her at work. I don’t want anything else other then what we have now. I understand it’s a business relationship and am OK with that.

    Maybe I didn’t think this completely through but that is why I am looking for feedback. If need be I have no problem with keeping it strictly business and maybe need to make sure she is OK with it what the score is. If it wasn’t for her giving me her real name it wouldn’t be an issue because I wouldn’t be in this situation.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Next time you talk to her in the club bring it up and see how she feels while making it abundantly clear that you have no expectations and you'll still see her when she dances regardless of her answer. AFTER you talk about it, buy a dance to reinforce that you're okay with whatever she decides. IF she does actually want to talk to you, ask for her number instead of highly risky work e-mails that probably give her half a stroke each time she gets one. Text ONCE and see if she texts you back with any regularity. Don't bring up dancing in the texts as her husband may not know that she is dancing to bring in extra money. Also let her know that you are happily married and only go to the clubs for a fun time but nothing serious.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPopcorn View Post
    Next time you talk to her in the club bring it up and see how she feels while making it abundantly clear that you have no expectations and you'll still see her when she dances regardless of her answer. AFTER you talk about it, buy a dance to reinforce that you're okay with whatever she decides. IF she does actually want to talk to you, ask for her number instead of highly risky work e-mails that probably give her half a stroke each time she gets one. Text ONCE and see if she texts you back with any regularity. Don't bring up dancing in the texts as her husband may not know that she is dancing to bring in extra money. Also let her know that you are happily married and only go to the clubs for a fun time but nothing serious.
    I probably should have mentioned at the start that I have been a regular customer of hers for six years at this club off and on. So obviously there is familiarity there that led her to be OK revealing her true identity, which is a huge deal in the dancing world. Her boyfriend knows she dances, my wife knows I go once in a while. It’s not a regular thing as I use money from my part time jobs plus I am fairly selective in who I get dances from. Discussion at work is NEVER about dances.

    I will talk to her next time just to reinforce that everything is good on my end and make sure she is OK. Plus she knows if she had a concern I will address it. This is an unusual situation and I would like to think I am mature enough to handle it as would she.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMaskedPL View Post
    I probably should have mentioned at the start that I have been a regular customer of hers for six years at this club off and on. So obviously there is familiarity there that led her to be OK revealing her true identity, which is a huge deal in the dancing world. Her boyfriend knows she dances, my wife knows I go once in a while. It’s not a regular thing as I use money from my part time jobs plus I am fairly selective in who I get dances from. Discussion at work is NEVER about dances.

    I will talk to her next time just to reinforce that everything is good on my end and make sure she is OK. Plus she knows if she had a concern I will address it. This is an unusual situation and I would like to think I am mature enough to handle it as would she.
    None of that matters. You crossed a line when you contacted her directly at work and you've put her in a horribly awkward position. You can never truly know if you're getting an honest answer about whether it is ok because she may be paranoid about pissing you off. The only way you can really know if she wants the contact is for you to stop initiating contact and leave the ball in her court. If she reaches out to you on her own then great. If not then you should just leave her alone.

    Btw, the more you discuss your plans for getting her approval and all of the other surrounding circumstances, the more stalkerish/creepy this whole thing is starting to sound. Just sayin' dude.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    None of that matters. You crossed a line when you contacted her directly at work and you've put her in a horribly awkward position. You can never truly know if you're getting an honest answer about whether it is ok because she may be paranoid about pissing you off. The only way you can really know if she wants the contact is for you to stop initiating contact and leave the ball in her court. If she reaches out to you on her own then great. If not then you should just leave her alone.

    Btw, the more you discuss your plans for getting her approval and all of the other surrounding circumstances, the more stalkerish/creepy this whole thing is starting to sound. Just sayin' dude.
    Not trying to be, just trying to do the right thing and not foul stuff up. I wouldn’t have reached out if she wasn’t OK with it so now I am trying to deal with it. I apologize if it comes across otherwise but it isn’t the case here.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Well, everything got resolved very quickly and I dodged a bullet.

    I went to the club last night and she was there...surprised me per it wasn’t her night. I bought a dance from her, then she asked me to loan her $500 as she said had an unexpected expense come up. I know enough of the game to know that I am never going to loan a dancer money and apparently being friends was an inroad. I told her I couldn’t. She became rather distant and she said if you change your mind these are the days I will be here. I left but pretty much knew I was ending any relationship between dancer and customer there was.

    Get to work this morning and the buzz is she got fired for shady stuff. Didn’t ask for details and don’t care to know. I am glad I had my wits about me to not get roped in. I know not all dancers do this but glad to find out now rather than later. From now on I will stick with purely business in this mode.

    Thanks for everyone’s input and thoughts. If you will have me I have a lot to share on the art of strip clubbing to share and would be happy to stick around

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    How do y'all get thru these long'ass posts??

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    I am with Whirlerz can't read these long ass post.. but the OP Read just like Plane Talker n the other thread and they were Engineers.

    Since that thread didn't go his way, he started another & just worded it all a bit different. In this one she is a stripper & they still work in the same office but in different departments.

    Creep/stalker alert

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMaskedPL View Post
    Well, everything got resolved very quickly and I dodged a bullet.

    I went to the club last night and she was there...surprised me per it wasn’t her night. I bought a dance from her, then she asked me to loan her $500 as she said had an unexpected expense come up. I know enough of the game to know that I am never going to loan a dancer money and apparently being friends was an inroad. I told her I couldn’t. She became rather distant and she said if you change your mind these are the days I will be here. I left but pretty much knew I was ending any relationship between dancer and customer there was.

    Get to work this morning and the buzz is she got fired for shady stuff. Didn’t ask for details and don’t care to know. I am glad I had my wits about me to not get roped in. I know not all dancers do this but glad to find out now rather than later. From now on I will stick with purely business in this mode.

    Thanks for everyone’s input and thoughts. If you will have me I have a lot to share on the art of strip clubbing to share and would be happy to stick around
    What you really mean is you outed her as a stripper & got her fired from an Engineering job.
    You just had to come here & throw some shade with the $500 loan............ since you didn't give her the money then what you insinuate she stole money from the company you both work for.

    How she was hustling you & shady for asking a load of $500... She has a job as an engineer & moonlights as a stripper.......... Yeah right!

    More like you blackmailed her for the $500 and when she didn't pay up. Told the bosses & got her fired.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMaskedPL View Post
    I've lurked around here for a while looking at the site and the conversations going on. I've been a casual SC customer for many years. I enjoy the interaction and I have a good time. Now, I humbly approach with a situation that I need some honest feedback on.

    At a local club where I frequent, I ran into my ATF after having not seen her for over a year. We talked for a little bit and I bought dances with her. I asked her if she still works for the same company I do (we work in completely separate departments so we never interact at work). She said she did and on a whim (for the first time ever at a SC) I asked for and she gave me her real name. I messaged her at work the next day (not about the SC) and we chat regularly there about regular everyday happenings, plus I stopped out to see her a week ago and plan to try to visit once a month to get dances. She only goes to the club twice a month, so she is not a regular dancer and does this for extra income.

    I am in virgin territory here (pardon the pun), because I had never done this before. I know that when a dancer gives a customer their real name, to me that is the ultimate in trust. Last time I was out there, we had a good talk about that and set what we expected, etc. We consider each other work friends as well as have that stripper/customer relationship. She said she appreciates the honesty and we'd see how things go.

    So, ladies, is there anything else I can do? I know for a fact I don't want a personal dating relationship with her, I'm married and she is in a long-term relationship. I'm also fully aware of the pay-to-play ramifications of the business and I am a willing participant. I just want to be able to show that her trust was not misplaced because in my world when someone puts their trust in me I don't want to violate that (more important in this day and age considering how many people don't keep their word). I want to do the right thing by her.
    If you worked at the same company then you would NOT need to ask for her REAL name, you would already know it.

    This is nothing but a pack of lies...........
    She turned down your dick & you tried to use her stripping past to still get laid. As revenge for not fucking you, you got her fired.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    NO MATTER how many threads you start, no matter how many new profiles you create. Us agreeing what you did to destroy her career because you wanted to fuck her. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN

    You thought she as a sex worker owed you sex. You resented that she was an Engineer just like you are and determined her stripper past made her less deserving of that job.

    You, a married man resented her saying no to having sex with you. How dare a stripper, a sex worker have morals & ethics & boundaries. How dare she work in at a normal job with so-called Respectable men like you.

    Only You did everything to destroy her life in honor of your cock. Male Privilege!

    You should feel guilty. Funny how you don't feel any remorse for trying to cheat on your wife in any of these threads. So you have ZERO respect for your wife & marriage vows.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Lmao^!

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    whoooooooooooooooooooooa wtf did i miss here

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    See the two threads below this one, same guy, different screen names "what to say to a friend"& the other one I forget.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMaskedPL View Post
    I want to do the right thing by her.
    You can stop bothering her at work all together if you have any decency in you at all. Do you seriously think she wants some customer coming by her desk AT HER DAY JOB??? If she has a problem with it, she can't even go to HR and report harassment if she feels she wants to, unless she wants to have to spill the whole story to them. She is totally stuck!


    Quote Originally Posted by TheMaskedPL View Post
    We consider each other work friends as well as have that stripper/customer relationship.
    What's this "we" shit?
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Well, shit. I came into this one way late.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Your friend from work IS NOT a dancer. Her alter ego stage name is

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    You can stop bothering her at work all together if you have any decency in you at all. Do you seriously think she wants some customer coming by her desk AT HER DAY JOB??? If she has a problem with it, she can't even go to HR and report harassment if she feels she wants to, unless she wants to have to spill the whole story to them. She is totally stuck!




    What's this "we" shit?
    She already got fired due to him

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Dear OP, you can wait 6 months & year or more. Your writing style is easy for me to figure out your game. You fucked her over & punished her for not wanting to help you cheat on your wife & her spouse. You are fucking over the wife because you are NOT faithful.

    What will happen is you will fuck yourself over and then blame all of strippers & greedy wife. You will lose your job eventually, your wife one day will wake up & realize she married down. You will lose it all due to your dick.

    Ego/Dick or Male privilege has you on a kick into thinking that you can come here & con us... Con us into justifying what you did is acceptable. You can come back & try to spin it again. I will find it entertaining to tear you apart all over again.

    Your agenda to make us turn on each other, one of our own whether she is real or not will fail. We see through you because we deal with "you' all day * all night long. None of us are fooled.

    You are NOT a "Good guy". Every time you use that propaganda slogan of NOTALLMEN are bad, I'm a good guy. You are lying.

    Any woman who has two jobs, paid her way through college doing what ever it took. She is a hard worker, she has integrity, ambition and thinks out side the box to find solutions. She is what every company needs, but due to your dick, your desires. You selfishly harmed her career & earning potential, all so you could break your marriage vows to another woman.

    You sacrificed two women with this bad deed, all for your dick. You determined that your dick is worth more than someone who was just doing her job & trying to get ahead in life a fortune.

    Don't worry, male privilege is disappearing, there is a culture revolution. Sex workers will be leaders in it, because if we can do it in our industry, other industries will have it easier. You know this which is why you are posting thread to help stop it.

    FAIL!!!!
    __________________________________
    I hope she will be brave enough to sue you & the company for sexual harassment & wrongful termination.

    I hope one day soon, she will read your threads here & can use these post against you in a court of law.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    Lol, yup^
    U know what's really funny, people think their company's stupid, cause they're allowed to get away w/it for a while..
    I worked under a married mgr, she was messing around w/some guy, (I was told about it, but I figured it out on my own) she left for another job but her hubs got fired for lying on expense account..
    This other old man got fired for jacking the private jet for his own personal use, just to impress some women he was messing w/.. he lost a good paying job & all his pension, + investments cause of his D.

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    Default Re: Need Feedback Ladies...Wanting To Be A Customer That Breaks The Norm

    OP, i imagine most dancers would prefer that you be the norm and most importantly understand what norm means. Your story is far from new.
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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