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Thread: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

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    Default Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    I started dancing 8 years ago because I was in a really bad pinch financially with no help from any friends or family. I was super shy and had a lot of mental health issues and started out making about 150 bucks a night on average. It wasnít great but it beat $7 an hour working retail and I knew there was WAY more potential. I watched the girls making tons of money in front of me and at times I felt discouraged, but after having worked several "real jobs" I knew there were a lot of things that attracted me to dancing. I realized that it was very accommodating for my depression and anxiety. I liked the fact that I didn't *have* to work if I didn't want to. I quickly learned that forcing myself to go to work after having a panic attack or just a generally awful day would feel like pushing a boulder up a hill. I've always had a slim figure and a pretty face, but I realized that there was way more to making money as a dancer than just being good looking. I became committed to figuring out how exactly I could get myself to sustain a good mood even when I was at my lowest and honestly contemplating whether life was even worth living. I tried a ton of different things and I've compiled a list of what has worked for me not only in the strip club, but in my personal life. Stripping can be an emotionally draining job, but it is also a great platform for you to grow and learn about yourself and the world. These tips are gonna seem ridiculously simple, but they are effective. I am now the dancer that I always knew I could be-the girl who banks almost every single night and has a few actual millionaires as regular customers. I'm now going for a masters degree in psychology and I've never felt better! These days I legitimately feel happy and excited to work at a club I used to dread. These are tactics that I implement in my life everyday and things keep getting better because I have changed the way I think about dancing and about life.

    For anyone who suffers from mental illness or is going through a rough patch but you NEED to make your rent like YESTERDAY then this is for you and I hope this helps you. You are strong and amazing and you are gonna rock the shit out of your next shift!!

    1. Always smile. Even if you donít feel like it. It tricks your brain into thinking youíre happy eventually and it makes you 100000x more attractive. Some guys like the bitchy mean girl attitude, but youíll make more money and feel good if you smile. This works ESPECIALLY if itís a bad night because you stand out more from the rest of the girls who are sulking in the corner. It definitely feels weird at first, but remember the mind follows the body and vice versa. Try to make a natural smile using your mouth and eyes. Do it before you get to work. Try to get there with a smile on your face and if you can't that's ok just keep trying to smile.

    2. Be comfortable with customers. Make eye contact, get physically closer, wear a calm expression. While some of the guys may not be the most attractive or fascinating people on the planet, you should show them that you feel at ease around them which will make them feel more at ease with you and they'll want to spend money. Remember that some of the customers are extremely emotionally fragile and they just want to be around a girl who likes them. Find something that you like about them and focus on it in your mind. Does he have nice clothes, cologne, hair, eyes, personality, anything? Don't go overboard with compliments-I tried complimenting guys a ton as a strategy and boy can they tell a fake compliment right away. You don't need to be super flirtatious right away if you're not feeling it. I know firsthand that trying to be overly sexy when you haven't built a rapport first can backfire.

    3. Take care of yourself during your shift. Did some weird guy just make you super uncomfortable? Are you feeling a little anxious? Don't be afraid to go to the dressing room for 5 minutes to have a drink of water, do some quick stretching, and spritz yourself with some perfume (vanilla is a really calming scent that the customers also love). Take a deep breath and smile. You got this.

    4. Use affirmations and mantras. Your subconscious is honestly just like a computer that can be programmed however you want. Whatever you tell yourself repeatedly, you're gonna end up believing. I grew up with a really religious father who thought that making a lot of money meant you were greedy and sinful which is probably what attributed to my financial failures early on in life. Even as a stripper I had evictions, defaulted on car loans, you name it. Something inside of me just felt SO uncomfortable with the idea of having money. When it became apparent that I needed money to survive I started looking into the "money affirmations" that are so popular among the Law of Attraction believers. I was really skeptical and felt uncomfortable saying things like "I love money" so I just focused on saying things like "I always get what I need" or "I always have more than enough". Now I use more specific money mantras and I say them out loud to myself on the way to work. Affirmations work. Whether or not you believe in the law of attraction, remember that you can always change how you feel about yourself and your situation with your words. You don't have to subscribe to the idea that there is some ultimate universal power that adheres to your vibrations. Think of it as a psychology experiment. And if you do believe in the law of attraction, great! Use it! Whatever you need to tell yourself to consistently start using affirmations, just do it. It will change the way you feel which changes the way you act which changes your experience.

    5. Stop complaining! If there's anything I want you to take away from this post it's this: Do. Not. Complain. Don't complain about the customers, don't complain about how slow it is, don't do it. You're gonna put yourself in a bad mood and it's gonna take ages to reverse. Get out of the habit of complaining not just at work but in general. What you focus on grows. If you complain about your problems, they're gonna get worse and even if you DO manage to somehow make money despite being totally miserable, the money won't change your attitude in the long term.

    6. Use "preselection" to your advantage. It's been proven that men find a woman more attracted when other men find her attractive. This doesn't mean go and brag to every customer about how many guys have asked you for dances, but you can subtly hint that this is the case. If a guy asks you if you make a lot of money reply with an emphatic "yes!". The perception of "value" is often based on what the majority of people find to be worth a lot of money. This again goes back to NOT complaining. Do not ever complain to the customers. If you act like you're not making money or worse-tell the customer that you're not making money-he's going to think you're not worth it. You ARE worth it. Think about the most expensive champagne room you ever sold. That guy thought you were worth all the money so who's to say that you're not? Using previous good experiences to shape a positive new experience is powerful.

    7. Make your "stripper persona" work to your advantage. Most days, I cannot pretend to want to fuck a guy who I do not find attractive. I give props to girls who can dirty talk and drive a guy's mind wild with a sexy fantasy, but it's not for me. I am the most prude stripper you will ever meet. I make my money by being intelligent, witty, and cute (and a killer stage performer). I rarely get called "hot" or "sexy", but many times guys have said to me "wow you're adorable! can you give me a dance?" Remember that there are ALL types of fantasies and you don't have to do or say anything that makes you feel weird or degraded.

    8. If all else fails, just have fun. If you're trying and trying and trying all night and nobody's spending money on you try some new pole tricks. Tell someone a joke. Put on an accent. Take some cute selfies with your favorite girls. Make some fun memories to last because your time in this industry is short and if you really think about it, it's actually kind of a cool job and not everyone can do it. Fun is the antidote to stripper burnout and it'll make guys want to spend money on you because that energy is super contagious! Whatever you do, don't storm out of the club fuming about how the night was bullshit and blah blah blah. Keep your head up, smile, and enjoy it.


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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Thank you for this.

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    I love you for this.

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Thank you so much for this. As I was reading it, the cutest affirmation popped into my head, I wanted to share if it might help anyone else; "I attract money, like bees to honey. I am Queen."

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Amazing, spot-on advice! I follow a lot of this and I can tell you, it does work. You have to stay positive in this business. Positivity =power=money.
    Last edited by LoveyDovey; 12-16-2017 at 08:01 AM.

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by Sailormercury View Post
    Thank you so much for this. As I was reading it, the cutest affirmation popped into my head, I wanted to share if it might help anyone else; "I attract money, like bees to honey. I am Queen."
    Yessss!

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    Amazing, opt-in advice! I follow a lot of this and I can tell you, it does work. You have to stay positive in this business. Positivity =power=money.
    yup! It can be hard in this industry because you're selling your personality so when you get rejected a lot you can take it personally but a stable positive attitude pays off big time!

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by Litch View Post
    I started dancing 8 years ago because I was in a really bad pinch financially with no help from any friends or family. I was super shy and had a lot of mental health issues and started out making about 150 bucks a night on average. It wasnít great but it beat $7 an hour working retail and I knew there was WAY more potential. I watched the girls making tons of money in front of me and at times I felt discouraged, but after having worked several "real jobs" I knew there were a lot of things that attracted me to dancing. I realized that it was very accommodating for my depression and anxiety. I liked the fact that I didn't *have* to work if I didn't want to. I quickly learned that forcing myself to go to work after having a panic attack or just a generally awful day would feel like pushing a boulder up a hill. I've always had a slim figure and a pretty face, but I realized that there was way more to making money as a dancer than just being good looking. I became committed to figuring out how exactly I could get myself to sustain a good mood even when I was at my lowest and honestly contemplating whether life was even worth living. I tried a ton of different things and I've compiled a list of what has worked for me not only in the strip club, but in my personal life. Stripping can be an emotionally draining job, but it is also a great platform for you to grow and learn about yourself and the world. These tips are gonna seem ridiculously simple, but they are effective. I am now the dancer that I always knew I could be-the girl who banks almost every single night and has a few actual millionaires as regular customers. I'm now going for a masters degree in psychology and I've never felt better! These days I legitimately feel happy and excited to work at a club I used to dread. These are tactics that I implement in my life everyday and things keep getting better because I have changed the way I think about dancing and about life.

    For anyone who suffers from mental illness or is going through a rough patch but you NEED to make your rent like YESTERDAY then this is for you and I hope this helps you. You are strong and amazing and you are gonna rock the shit out of your next shift!!

    1. Always smile. Even if you donít feel like it. It tricks your brain into thinking youíre happy eventually and it makes you 100000x more attractive. Some guys like the bitchy mean girl attitude, but youíll make more money and feel good if you smile. This works ESPECIALLY if itís a bad night because you stand out more from the rest of the girls who are sulking in the corner. It definitely feels weird at first, but remember the mind follows the body and vice versa. Try to make a natural smile using your mouth and eyes. Do it before you get to work. Try to get there with a smile on your face and if you can't that's ok just keep trying to smile.

    2. Be comfortable with customers. Make eye contact, get physically closer, wear a calm expression. While some of the guys may not be the most attractive or fascinating people on the planet, you should show them that you feel at ease around them which will make them feel more at ease with you and they'll want to spend money. Remember that some of the customers are extremely emotionally fragile and they just want to be around a girl who likes them. Find something that you like about them and focus on it in your mind. Does he have nice clothes, cologne, hair, eyes, personality, anything? Don't go overboard with compliments-I tried complimenting guys a ton as a strategy and boy can they tell a fake compliment right away. You don't need to be super flirtatious right away if you're not feeling it. I know firsthand that trying to be overly sexy when you haven't built a rapport first can backfire.

    3. Take care of yourself during your shift. Did some weird guy just make you super uncomfortable? Are you feeling a little anxious? Don't be afraid to go to the dressing room for 5 minutes to have a drink of water, do some quick stretching, and spritz yourself with some perfume (vanilla is a really calming scent that the customers also love). Take a deep breath and smile. You got this.

    4. Use affirmations and mantras. Your subconscious is honestly just like a computer that can be programmed however you want. Whatever you tell yourself repeatedly, you're gonna end up believing. I grew up with a really religious father who thought that making a lot of money meant you were greedy and sinful which is probably what attributed to my financial failures early on in life. Even as a stripper I had evictions, defaulted on car loans, you name it. Something inside of me just felt SO uncomfortable with the idea of having money. When it became apparent that I needed money to survive I started looking into the "money affirmations" that are so popular among the Law of Attraction believers. I was really skeptical and felt uncomfortable saying things like "I love money" so I just focused on saying things like "I always get what I need" or "I always have more than enough". Now I use more specific money mantras and I say them out loud to myself on the way to work. Affirmations work. Whether or not you believe in the law of attraction, remember that you can always change how you feel about yourself and your situation with your words. You don't have to subscribe to the idea that there is some ultimate universal power that adheres to your vibrations. Think of it as a psychology experiment. And if you do believe in the law of attraction, great! Use it! Whatever you need to tell yourself to consistently start using affirmations, just do it. It will change the way you feel which changes the way you act which changes your experience.

    5. Stop complaining! If there's anything I want you to take away from this post it's this: Do. Not. Complain. Don't complain about the customers, don't complain about how slow it is, don't do it. You're gonna put yourself in a bad mood and it's gonna take ages to reverse. Get out of the habit of complaining not just at work but in general. What you focus on grows. If you complain about your problems, they're gonna get worse and even if you DO manage to somehow make money despite being totally miserable, the money won't change your attitude in the long term.

    6. Use "preselection" to your advantage. It's been proven that men find a woman more attracted when other men find her attractive. This doesn't mean go and brag to every customer about how many guys have asked you for dances, but you can subtly hint that this is the case. If a guy asks you if you make a lot of money reply with an emphatic "yes!". The perception of "value" is often based on what the majority of people find to be worth a lot of money. This again goes back to NOT complaining. Do not ever complain to the customers. If you act like you're not making money or worse-tell the customer that you're not making money-he's going to think you're not worth it. You ARE worth it. Think about the most expensive champagne room you ever sold. That guy thought you were worth all the money so who's to say that you're not? Using previous good experiences to shape a positive new experience is powerful.

    7. Make your "stripper persona" work to your advantage. Most days, I cannot pretend to want to fuck a guy who I do not find attractive. I give props to girls who can dirty talk and drive a guy's mind wild with a sexy fantasy, but it's not for me. I am the most prude stripper you will ever meet. I make my money by being intelligent, witty, and cute (and a killer stage performer). I rarely get called "hot" or "sexy", but many times guys have said to me "wow you're adorable! can you give me a dance?" Remember that there are ALL types of fantasies and you don't have to do or say anything that makes you feel weird or degraded.

    8. If all else fails, just have fun. If you're trying and trying and trying all night and nobody's spending money on you try some new pole tricks. Tell someone a joke. Put on an accent. Take some cute selfies with your favorite girls. Make some fun memories to last because your time in this industry is short and if you really think about it, it's actually kind of a cool job and not everyone can do it. Fun is the antidote to stripper burnout and it'll make guys want to spend money on you because that energy is super contagious! Whatever you do, don't storm out of the club fuming about how the night was bullshit and blah blah blah. Keep your head up, smile, and enjoy it.
    Wow I almost cried reading this thank you.I suffer a lot I from anexity and panics as well as low self esteem.You really gave me hope.thanks.

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Yes thank you for this.
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Thank you for this! I grew up with a similar lack mentality and have only just been starting to make some of these observations. I have my on days and my off days, and the truth is I'm the same girl every day, and the on days only happen when I have a good attitude and self-belief. Customers notice how you feel about yourself, and they automatically match your beliefs about what you're worth. Not only does it bring 3-4 digits out of the men who can afford it, but it also spares you the long attention of time-wasters.

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Excellent post!

    Would like to add that if you're at work and the crowd sucks and/or is giving you anxiety or putting you in the Spiral of Doom, find a nice semi normal customer to chat with. I sometimes do this and have a drink with him - he often gets some dances- and then I feel refreshed and positive and ready to deal with the rest of the guys.
    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g
    Once a guy gets you to lower your expectations then that is all you are worth to him from then on.
    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    This post was beyond incredible and I could not have read it at a better time.
    Thank you so much.

    You definitely know your place in the universe...

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    Default Re: Tips and Advice for Strippers with Anxiety and Depression

    Perfect!!!!!!!!!

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