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Thread: Why do dancers lie so much?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member NYC.Bianca's Avatar
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    Default Why do dancers lie so much?

    So..I am just generally curious. I feel like after a few years in this industry you learn what girls are actually escorts, what girls do extras but deny it, and what girls tend to lie about their life or their money. Like it starts to become obvious. But why?

    I always wonder why so many women are "hush hush" about their money...or how they make it.. or girls that actually escort in vegas saying dancing is SO great their when in REALITY they make NONE of their money at an actual club. Just shit like that. This kind of thing is why I have almost no dancer friends, but the few mostly truthful ones Ill chat with more at work.

    I guess I just don't understand it. It seems like we should all stick together to protect one another but its always a shark tank or girls just lying to make themselves feel better about something. I dunno... just curious why so many dancers just seem to be pathological liars.

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    i wonder why you think people owe you explanations?

    I wonder why you are all up in other people's business.

    Do you work directly or for any or all law enforcement agencies?

    You demanding truth & insisting on them being all liars might be the reason why you almost have NO dancer friends.

    They are NOT there to be your friend, they are there to make money. Especially in Vegas, you should KNOW better. Since you use the NYC in your name here, I will assume you are from NYC. Anyone really from NYC would know better.

    So are you lying about working in strip clubs in Vegas & being from NYC when you should know to mind your own business?

    Demanding people tell you things you are making such allegations about can be used against them in a court room.

    What are you thinking? And while you may read this as harsh I am telling you it for your own good. The stuff you are demanding to be told the truth about can be a very dangerous in a city like Vegas. While in some small mid west town the other dancers will just trash you or might get in a fight. Vegas is a different story. If they are NOT confronting you straight on & telling you to stop. You should be worried they will find other ways to do so.

    REALITY is REAL Sharks bite off limbs & kill. You comparing to a Shark tank answers your question.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    They don't want you in their business.

    Plus everyone is there to make money. Not be friends and tell you real personal stuff.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 12-22-2017 at 12:53 PM. Reason: Typo

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    Veteran Member Daniellaa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Why would anyone want to go around telling people they're illegally selling pussy??

    I'm one of the most open strippers I know in the sense that there isnt one person in the world I would care about finding out what I do for a living. Im not trying to hide it from anyone. But I still lie almost every day to strangers especially in the casual "Oh what do you do?" conversations because I hate getting asked questions about my job when im just like trying to get an eye exam or buy tampons and cheetos or whatever. Also for safety reasons I dont wanna get robbed or assaulted by people who are expecting me to be carrying lots of cash. Im not a pathological liar at all, lying is just safer and easier it's not like im trying to fuck with anyone.

    If you're good friends with someone or in some type of personal relationship with them I do believe in being honest. But you just work with these girls you guys are just co workers not friends they dont need to tell you anything. What kind of gratification would you get from some chick admitting to you that yes, they are in fact an escort? Why does it matter to you?

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    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Because they don't want the world to know their personal business. Why does it matter?

    I don't tell everyone at work everything about my life. All that does is create drama. I'm not trying to mess w anyone or their money.

    So what if they lie? Is it affecting your life? Best to just focus on your own business and make money.

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Maybe OP is wondering why some dancers lie to other women they have friendship with.....

    Exotic dancing can be a lonely occupation so it may hurt to find out you truly can't trust someone you wanted to call a friend.

    My answer to the topic is... customers/stalkers are capable of such horrible shit that dancers lie to protect themselves.

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    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Maybe OP is wondering why some dancers lie to other women they have friendship with.....

    Exotic dancing can be a lonely occupation so it may hurt to find out you truly can't trust someone you wanted to call a friend.

    My answer to the topic is... customers/stalkers are capable of such horrible shit that dancers lie to protect themselves.
    Yes. Not to mention other dancers will spill your business to said customers...

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    it's annoying but eh. you just have to learn not to take anyone's advice seriously. just because some girl tells me she makes 2k every night in X city at X club doesn't mean i'm gonna believe her and go there. i usually assume she's either lying or escorting and ignore it and go about my business.


    i really don't understand the point of lying but whatever. everyone in this industry is full of shit, deal with it lol

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl Anachronism View Post
    Everyone in this industry is full of shit, deal with it lol
    Yes! I've come to see that some strip club employees are crazier than a lot of dancers as well.

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    ^true. most dancers just lie about stupid shit like money or fucking the customers. which... big deal. they're not hurting anyone. staff can be pretty malicious though.

    i get annoyed by the bitchy girls who try to make you feel bad for making less money. the ones who love to brag about how much they made after you tell them you're having a bad night, we all know that type. it's fuckin lame and i will admit can sometimes make me feel shitty even if i know they're lying or doing extras.

    but i mean, of course girls will lie about doing more for their money.. why would you be honest with that? so everyone can hate you? you could even get fired or have your ass beat at some places. legality aside.. the whorephobia in the clubs is real and even if you're legally doing porn or something, once words gets out you could face all kinds of shit from other girls and managers. it can hurt your money too because girls will start rumors about you and tell all the customers. you can't even trust "friends" because the consequences are too serious.

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  21. #11
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Anyone who expects a sex worker of any kind to be 100% honest about every single one of their activities before a solid, true friendship and rapport is developed, is in for a rude awakening. I'm not about to go telling people right off the bat that I escort. Or how much money I make. These things can have serious repercussions. I don't care if we're all "working in the same club" and should be able to trust each other - that girl that isn't telling you exactly how she makes her $$$ is thinking that she doesn't know you or how trustworthy YOU are anymore than you know about her. Why would anyone just tell another, stranger dancer right off the bat that they do illegal things to make money?

    Every time I make a new friend, I tell them I make fantastic money bartending - that's how I afford my lifestyle. Of course that's not really where I'm making most of my money, even if I do actually bartend on the side occasionally, but they don't need to know that. I'm not about to go spewing to even civilian folks where I actually make the bulk of my money, knowing it is illegal, frowned upon, and could make others believe that I'm a good target to rob. I'm sure as shit not telling any fellow sex workers anything personal and true about my life, because it's a sad fact that those are usually the girls that are quickest to turn on you, tell your business, fuck up your business, and harass you.

    If girls are otherwise cool with you, and you're just finding out their true activities later on down the line when they get more comfortable with you, why rub it in their face? Why make them feel bad for holding a secret close to their chest that they KNOW could royally fuck them over if YOU were not trustworthy with this secret? And if they aren't telling you, but you're just finding out from other sources, it's none of your business for obvious reasons.

    Are these girls lying to you maliciously? Or do they have perfectly valid reasons for keeping their business to themselves? Do you "lie" to anyone in your life about your activities about where you work and how you make your money? And if so, how can you think you're any better? Sex workers lie about their business to protect themselves. You aren't entitled to anyone's 100% truth just because you share a pole some nights - you have to earn that trust and friendship - and don't take it personally when they finally confide in you and you find out they were making some adjustments to their story for fairly obvious reasons.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    ^ sad but true. Girls will lie about how much they make to feel better about themselves because they're whole worth is wrapped up in their money. If you feel bad about a slow night don't tell the other strippers.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Damn, I'm sorry you're getting crucified for being curious. Holy hell...

    IMHO, I think a lot of them play into the stigmas themselves...
    A lot of the ones I know that are definitely doing extras ITC will not admit it because their ego is tied to it. There's still some 'glamour' attached to being a stripper (hence why guys are so into this thing about sleeping with one), but that doesn't apply to escorts really. Admitting they're escorting instead of dancing when on a trip, or that they're doing extras in the club, would be like saying "I failed at being a stripper the normal way". They don't want to admit that Sapphire ate them alive or that they couldn't sell that VIP without a hand job as incentive.
    IME, those are usually the ones that are pretty blatantly flashing their money around and acting like hot shit.

    There's also what everyone else said about legality. If your club gets raided, you don't want it to be common knowledge that you're doing extras. You never know what kind of deals LE might cut with other girls, and it won't be good for you if a bunch point at you when asked who does extras.

    Personally I don't lie about earnings though I don't give out exact dollar amounts - I'll say I got lucky, or it's great, or it sucks. My social circle is pretty much down to people who know I dance and those who think I bartend at the club. ITC I only talk to a few girls about personal stuff and NEVER to club regulars, because there's a few that are pathetic and think they're cool for hanging out there, so they try to be the gossip hub... They've told me all kinds of other girls business and take great delight in using the girls' real names... I have no desire to have my business blasted everywhere.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    She is NOT making friends because she does NOT know how to be one. Demanding everyone needs to tell you their business without knowing you is just weird. Trust & friendship is built up over time.

    I do NOT care how is telling the truth & who is lying. If people want you to know certain things about them, they will tell you in their own good time.

    Any & all private or personal information can be used as a weapon against you at ANY JOB. Corporate world is no different.

    It is very unprofessional to ask such questions.

    It is unprofessional to demand the truth.

    It is unprofessional to think all your co-workers NEED to be your friend. Just because you work with people at ANY job they are under NO obligation to be your friend. Companies don't hire people to be everyone's BFF. You are expected to be cordial & civil to one another. Which assuming everyone is lying & owes you the truth is neither.

    If you don't want people to lie to you, STOP asking them questions about stuff that is NONE of your business.

    Further more, if the cops ask you if you know of any criminal activity & you do. Yet, you didn't report it immediately to them. You can be arrested. So if they are breaking the law, lying to you about it is THEM doing you a favor.

    Don't forget it is Vegas & everyone higher up gets a cut. IF such things you alleged are true, you are not just pissing those girls off.

    And I am saying this for your own well being, mind your own business. Being a stripper may not be the job for you..

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    All night long you have customers asking you personal questions, who wants to hear the same shit in the dressing room & not get a moment of peace.

    I was a clean dancer, but I found girls like this annoying & avoided them in clubs. I am Still friends with ladies I worked with almost 30 years ago. Like I know their families & they know mine. Any of us can call up one of the Moms & have a place to stay for a night or two. We all keep a spare bedroom in case one needs to move in or one of their adult kids.

    You are NOT going to make friends like that by interrogating everyone you work with at any business.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    They "lie" for many reasons

    - strip club is not like the average rah-rah employer where "team work makes the dream work" ....no, its every woman for herself and your co-workers are your competitors
    - you can never trust ANYONE especially if they haven't earned that trust.
    - to protect privacy
    - any type of adult work can and will be used against you if you open up to the wrong people or sometimes if you open up to anyone (see threads on peoples spouse/bf/family losing their shit)
    - maybe they are insecure and need to embellish to make themselves feel or look better
    - etc.

    Better to focus on making money, improving your hustle, improving your economic standing than to focus on whether some random is lying or not.

    Just assume everyone is lying, it's all an illusion, and it's acting of sorts.....

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  33. #17
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Why do you care? We are in an industry that is demonized, almost no one is on our side including other dancers. Our own families turn against us because of the jobs we chose, people in general hate us just because we are sex workers. People murder us and assault us, and no one gives a shit. And you are asking why we lie? This industry attracts a lot of different kinds of people - you are going to get a lot of people with emotional and mental issues (like in most industries, only sex workers tend to be more open about it because there is a societal expectation that there is something "wrong" with women who chose to get into sex work, and we internalize that). Cops use our services, rape us, and then arrest us for it. Girls lie to customers about us, spread rumors about us and hurt our money. Customers stalk us, harass us, even threaten us, kill us, rape us. Managers and industry professionals abuse us, illegally use our labor for their profit. And you ask why we lie.

    You ask about why girls lie about doing things that are illegal, HIGHLY demonized, HIGHLY risky (because of the illegality, and the risks that come with that)?

    We have to protect ourselves somehow. I am here to make money and be good to myself, and spilling my soul to anyone at the club is not how you do that. How I make money is my business. Who I am is my business.

    You might as well ask this about any industry. "Why does Jim over in accounting not tell us why his wife left him and he's an alcoholic?" Like, people lie or keep secrets because it's none of your damn business. It's work. You are not my friend, and I don't want you to be. I want you to leave me alone and mind your hustle.

    No one owes you the truth except yourself. You owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself, and that is all. No one owes you anything. Ask yourself why you feel so entitled to other peoples' business? Does it offend you when girls don't want to be your friend right off the bat? Why is that? It's probably due to trauma in your past about being rejected and not wanted. But, that's none of my business. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Last edited by babb; 12-19-2017 at 04:13 PM.

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    Veteran Member IvoryDoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Yeah let’s all announce to everyone we’re selling pussy and watch how everyone just totally loves and supports us <3 <3 <3 Really lol?

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Vegas in general is NOT the easiest place to make friends. No matter where you work it is hard to trust those you work with. It is a hustle town.

    I know DJ hired from other major markets to work at the regular clubs who went through hell the very first year with co-workers lying & being shady. While I didn't work in the clubs when living there. My family has streets named after them & my Grandfather was a local legend & whale who loved ladies of the night... While my Grandmother spent his money everywhere she could. LOL

    It is a tough town. Filled with many con artist looking for the big score. People there are more transient than in other cities. My heart does go out to you

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    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Quote Originally Posted by vanessa_mtl View Post
    ^ sad but true. Girls will lie about how much they make to feel better about themselves because they're whole worth is wrapped up in their money. If you feel bad about a slow night don't tell the other strippers.
    Such a dangerous thing to do. Ladies, don't do this. You are priceless and precious.

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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    it's for our own safety, sorry to say. Even girls I'm friendly with don't know how much I make in a day (aside from the few occasions where we'll do doubles in a CR) It's also rude to ask. And many of us have had the experience as baby strippers when we're honest, it turns into that girl asking us for cab money, weed money, whatever; if girls know we live close to the club, they wanna "crash" for the weekend, turns into either months or theft... It's nothing against you personally. Most girls that have danced more than even a year will have dealt with stalkers, girls we thought were friends selling our business, girls trying to rat us out to mgmt (for not tipping out enough, for extras, for skipping stage even with DJ's OK, for walking from stage to DR fully nude...anything)

    dancers have all seen some shit. whether it was them personally, whether they did it to someone else, or they just witnessed. it's easiest and best for our money + mental health to lie and not get close to anyone. we're at work to WORK, not make friends, friends don't pay bills.

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  43. #22
    Veteran Member NYC.Bianca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Sam38g - Im talking about them lying directly to me, which isn't me"all up in everyones business", I'm just curious jesus christ.

  44. #23
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Damn, I'm sorry you're getting crucified for being curious. Holy hell...

    IMHO, I think a lot of them play into the stigmas themselves...
    A lot of the ones I know that are definitely doing extras ITC will not admit it because their ego is tied to it. There's still some 'glamour' attached to being a stripper (hence why guys are so into this thing about sleeping with one), but that doesn't apply to escorts really. Admitting they're escorting instead of dancing when on a trip, or that they're doing extras in the club, would be like saying "I failed at being a stripper the normal way". They don't want to admit that Sapphire ate them alive or that they couldn't sell that VIP without a hand job as incentive.
    IME, those are usually the ones that are pretty blatantly flashing their money around and acting like hot shit.

    There's also what everyone else said about legality. If your club gets raided, you don't want it to be common knowledge that you're doing extras. You never know what kind of deals LE might cut with other girls, and it won't be good for you if a bunch point at you when asked who does extras.

    Personally I don't lie about earnings though I don't give out exact dollar amounts - I'll say I got lucky, or it's great, or it sucks. My social circle is pretty much down to people who know I dance and those who think I bartend at the club. ITC I only talk to a few girls about personal stuff and NEVER to club regulars, because there's a few that are pathetic and think they're cool for hanging out there, so they try to be the gossip hub... They've told me all kinds of other girls business and take great delight in using the girls' real names... I have no desire to have my business blasted everywhere.

    I'm the same way. and yes obviously many girls on here are the exact dancers I am talking about or lie about all the same things and now their defenses come out. Gotta protect the ego.

  45. #24
    Veteran Member NYC.Bianca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    I have found when I have hustled with certain girls, they have lied to me either about the tip they got in the SAME vip as me to make themselves feel superior if they are bragging, this is NOT me interrogating. I am not in this industry to make friends nor is that even the point of what I am talking about. It's an observation Ive had and I thought we could all have an objective view point and discussion about it, but nope.. all emotions and defenses and ego. For the girls that are these liars, thats cool, I don't talk to you girls anyhow but its sad you have to lie. You can always be VAGUE about the truth without being specific. But when girls go on and on about how they always make over 2k every single night (when I haven't said shit to them), its like.... why? when you just know they aren't being honest because you've SEEN them have bad nights. Its just weird to me. Thats it. Not trying to make friends, really don't give a f*ck about anyone being completely "real" in this industry; I was just generally curious about the psychology of it.


    Also, I don't even ask girls what they make etc etc. I just silently pay attention. So its not even something thats current or that I deal with, just genuine curiosity.

  46. #25
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    Default Re: Why do dancers lie so much?

    Quote Originally Posted by IvoryDoll View Post
    Yeah let’s all announce to everyone we’re selling pussy and watch how everyone just totally loves and supports us <3 <3 <3 Really lol?

    I get its out of protection. But its still obvious when these girls are doing it... so its just weird to me. Theres this extras girl at my club and its SO OBVIOUS that she does extras because of multiple factors. I guess its like something I use to be totally naive to... and now its super transparent to me, so Im just genuinely curious. Because in my mind its just bad business to be selling pussy at work and giving the club a cut, and then also be a really bad liar on top of it. Its just weird. Simply was just curious but I get it that girls do it for protection.

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