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Thread: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

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    Veteran Member ravenskyy's Avatar
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    Angry My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Thanks to Instagram, my camming career has been exposed to my friends and family. I hate social media and this is exactly why I wanted nothing to do with it. I literally want to disappear right now.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Sorry to hear.

    Do you know how it happened?

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    Veteran Member ravenskyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Instagram exposed me by putting me in all my friends and families "people you may know" list. It somehow stole information from my personal Instagram and Facebook accounts and linked them without my permission.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Ahhh! Yes Instagram and Facebook are one in the same since FB owns Instagram. And Facebook is THE most privacy invading social network right now! So it only makes sense Instagram is the same.

    Sorry this happened to you. I started a group a while back but didn't grow it - I may now but there are a few threads on protecting privacy.

    It's best NOT to:

    use mobile apps
    stay logged in
    use your real IP address
    add any of your real data (name, phone number, schools attended, etc) in FB or Instagram
    etc.

    And that's the tricky thing - I do believe I've seen ladies post before of their personal/business accounts being linked without their knowledge/awareness thus outing them and the best way to combat that is not to have personal accounts if you have work/business accounts you don't want your real life colliding with the work life.

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    Veteran Member ravenskyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    It's sickening how these companies get away with stuff like this. Linking accounts without someones knowledge or permission should be illegal. Stuff like that ruins people's lives and can put someone in danger. I wish I could sue them. I didn't add personal info, but I was unaware of the mobile app and ip address issue.

    Either way, life is ruined. Time to change my name and move out of the country.
    Last edited by ravenskyy; 01-08-2018 at 01:59 PM. Reason: Typo


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    Senior Member Daniellaa's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Im so sorry this happened to you im sending you love and happy thoughts and Facebook sucks so bad I hate them for various reasons.

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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    How do they know for sure?

    I’m sorry. Growing up with progressive albeit neglectful family, I didn’t know I needed to hide it. My aunt shamed my on Christmas and now I’m trying to transition out, but it’s hard because I never thought people could be so judgmental.

    My heart goes out you. There negative reaction isn’t about you it’s about the way our society has been brainwashed by dogma that sex is a moral issue. There are ethics involved, but sex in of itself isn’t bad or good. In addition, people’s inability to see nuances and just use black and white thinking.

    They are probably more concerned than anything?
    I hope your family can accept your choices with love and respect.

    It’s a tragedy we have to deal with this.

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    Veteran Member ravenskyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Thank you! I understood the risks involved with camming and planned on telling people in the future, but on my own terms. I don't know who else knows besides a few friends/people from school and my mom, but I have my dad and sisters on there as well as my husbands friends and family. So far, no one has said anything negative but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Just them knowing makes me want to cry.

    I already have issues with my dad and that side of my family, this will only make it worse. And I don't know my husband's friends and family very well yet, but he grew up heavily religious, even though he isn't now, most of his family and some of his friends still are deep within the church. I don't want to be judged by this. I moved away from my friends and family to be closer to his and if this ruins my relationship with them, I won't be able to stay here.

    I hate how people view this industry. I've been dancing for 7 years and still hide it from all but a few people in my life. I want so badly to be open about my job but I just don't feel comfortable with people knowing. It sucks so bad and keeping this a secret only adds to my depression. I can't wait to quit for good.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    There are no secrets anymore. Between governments, hackers & Social media data basis, your ip address & search history easily bought & shared.

    I don't have any personal accounts, the internet is all about work for me. i don't have any personal social media accounts either. I don't allow friends & family members to post pics of me om any of their social media accounts.

    If you want any kind of private personal life, then keep it all off the internet.
    http://www.youtube.com/Samantha38GG Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

    Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is. Mae West

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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    OMG! Can't say I'm surprised. But yes it's infuriating that the apps will just do something like that on their own. Sending you hugs and hope the best for you.

    Now I'm considering deleting the work account I had set up not too long ago..

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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    I'm so sorry! That makes me really nervous about my own IG account... ugh, social media just keeps getting worse.

    If it makes you feel better, a lot of us have been outed against our will. It sucks, but usually only for a little while, and then people get used to it/stop feeling the need to bring it up/remember that you're still the same person. The way you feel right now is probably the worst it's going to get. <3

    And... at least you don't know for sure if all of these people clicked on your IG, or if they realized it was you. Hopefully no one added you as a friend. You can make that IG account private/delete it/change your profile pic/hide face pics, etc.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    “There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.”
    ― Mae West
    http://www.youtube.com/Samantha38GG Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. That's the downside of social media and technology in general these days. People can easily go on Google and use reverse image search to find pictures of you and sometimes even your personal social media accounts. I have had that happen to me before but with stupid Facebook which is why I deleted my personal Facebook and other social media accounts. It still could've happened even if the accounts didn't end up linked. All it takes is one asshat to recognize you and blab. Has anyone in your family mentioned anything? If so, once the initial shock gets over with, you might find that they will come around. Some people are so quick to judge others harshly when their hands aren't exactly clean either. I hate the stigma that exists in the adult industry. I hope everything works out for you.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Quote Originally Posted by ravenskyy View Post
    And I don't know my husband's friends and family very well yet, but he grew up heavily religious, even though he isn't now, most of his family and some of his friends still are deep within the church. I don't want to be judged by this.
    Um you do know those people in the church are "sinners" themselves. They have a past just like everyone else. Just because they go to church every sunday does not make them all of a sudden innocent and holy.

    And if they are true church going people they technically cannot judge you - only the creator can do that.

    Only people who are innocent are fresh out the womb infants and babies because they are blank slates and haven't been influenced by environment, etc yet

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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Um you do know those people in the church are "sinners" themselves. They have a past just like everyone else. Just because they go to church every sunday does not make them all of a sudden innocent and holy.

    And if they are true church going people they technically cannot judge you - only the creator can do that.

    Only people who are innocent are fresh out the womb infants and babies because they are blank slates and haven't been influenced by environment, etc yet
    Truth. My father went to church every week, volunteering at bingo and festivals and here he was at home, being a narcissistic asshole, messing with his children's minds, raping them and telling them that they were crazy for thinking they were really being raped. So there's that.

    I'm sorry this happened to you. I've learned to be careful with social media and what you put out there, just because these things can happen.

    This could be a blessing in disguise. At least you'll see who your real friends are.

    Again, so sorry. I know how judgemental people can be, and it's only to make themselves look good despite their own closeted skeletons.


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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    I'm sorry this happened to you Does Twitter also link to other platforms like IG does? I was thinking of makin one to promote my texting sites but def wanna delete my fb if so. IG almost linked me but i deleted ALL my social media before it got started. Hate that linking BS
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

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    God/dess KatyBoleyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    My in-laws got a bit too curious about what we did a few months ago and flipped their shit. I had no idea people could be so incredibly hateful. They'll only even see their grandchildren now under the most sanitary circumstances, and only if the kids initiate contact. They used to call our house about twice a week to talk to me or them or both, and we did Sunday dinners like normal every other weekend. They treated it like we were cheating on them for years by not telling them who our clients were (we maintained we worked with "freelancers"), and my mother-in-law even said as much.

    Its so incredibly strange and hurtful and altogether frustrating. They can't square their love of family with their "Christian values," which apparently simply means, "We hate naked people." I never thought it would be like that in a million years, but months later they still haven't calmed down. Hubby went off on them telling them this isn't some Hallmark special where we gave people herpes and to knock off the melodrama, but they fired back that we were in some kind of "darkness" and they always knew "there was something evil going on."

    On the flip side, my hubby told his mother (not father/step-mother above) that he worked in porno to get a rise out of her. She barely batted an eyelash. There is a plus side to narcissists - they could care less about anything that doesn't flatter or insult them.

    We weren't outted by Instagram/Facebook though. I barely have a Facebook, and I keep it on an entirely separate computer. I absolutely don't and won't have and IG account. Hubby absolutely refuses to even carry a flip phone, much less a smart phone or do anything on social media.

    My deepest sympathies to anyone going through this with their family. We told others for years "count on being found out", we just didn't imagine it would be this stupid when it happened to us.


    -----

    As for suing them, I don't think there's actually a case:

    http://www.wassom.com/common-law-inv...uest-post.html

    Check out #5 as it seems to be the most relevant.

    The court considers you a public figure as a media personality, not entitled to privacy. Further, you would need to prove damages that aren't "speculative".

    About the best you could do is tell everyone you know to dump Facebook because they aren't legally obligated to keep your professional and personal life separate.
    Last edited by KatyBoleyn; 01-14-2018 at 01:12 PM.

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  31. #18
    Senior Member IvoryDoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    I hope you’re doing better now that it’s been a few days.
    I know it’s hard but you just have to tell yourself this is a big part of your life and if somebody is going to leave you or talk down on you they do not need to be part of your life. Those who love you will look past this and make sure you’re safe.
    Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t stress about the opinions of people that are judgemental and hard to please!!!

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  33. #19
    Veteran Member ravenskyy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Thank you ladies! I disabled my IG account for now, until I can figure out how to completely separate it from my personal accounts. I took a few weeks and stopped talking to some people, but I'm still unsure of how many people know about it.

    My page was set to private before my mom saw it, so she only knows what I told her. I feel lucky because she's not the type to judge, however, I wanted to tell her myself, when I felt comfortable doing so. That upset me a bit, because I didn't know how to explain the job. No matter how understanding she is, she is a still a mom that worries and wants what's best for me.

    What bothered me more was that my page was exposed to people I went to high school with, friends that don't know about my career, friends of friends, my sisters, my dad, my husbands friends and his family. It's family knowing that hurts the most. My relationship is already strained between my dad/sisters and I, and the relationship that I have with my husbands friends and family is so new that any little thing can ruin it. They don't really know me that well yet, and I don't need to be labeled as some "whore" that is corrupting their loved one.

    I understand about what you guys are saying about Christians lol I'm definitely not new too the religion, unfortunately. I was raised in a Christian household, however, my mother removed us from that religion when I was 7, and I've been against the beliefs of most religions since I was 13. I know how judgmental they are, that's the problem. I don't want to give them anything that they can judge me on. I want to be given a chance for them to get to know me, and judge me based on the quality of my character. I know that's basically asking for the impossible these days lol but a girl's gotta try. The biggest reason is because my husband is white and the only one in his family to marry outside of his race, I would rather not be labeled as different anymore than I already will be. I'm also bringing 2 kids from a previous relationship into this new family, plus one on the way. I don't want my choices to affect them and their relationship with their new family.

    It sucks to be in this situation, but it seems like I'm the only one stressing over it. My husband doesn't care what anyone thinks, and while I appreciate that, it's not happening to him like it is to me. I plan on deleting social media altogether, after I go back to dancing. I was more comfortable in this industry when I kept my work discreet, and when I kept my personal life more private. I also made waaay more money lol

    Thank you ladies for the advice and support. It is much needed and appreciated!!!

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Im sorry this happened to you. IG is terrible I only just got one and was surpised when all these nosy family members started following me on there. I wanted it for my friends only. Im thinking of deleting them lol they are the reason my fb is so boring. I never had it when I danced I don't know how all these girls are on there in their dressing room pics, some girls post too much I find it dangerous for instance ther is a girl who works in a local club who I saw at the store, then on her ig you can tell exactly what apartments she lives in. Its too much. Everyone shares too much nowadays.
    xoxo

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  37. #21
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    First of all, if no one's said anything to you, don't stress too much. I know I straight up ignore the "people you may know" section because it's always recommending people I specifically don't want to follow. It's like I don't even see it anymore, I just don't process it. Maybe no one noticed! Or if they did and aren't saying anything, they probably don't care that much.

    Secondly, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Make your cam Insta account private, and make the profile image one that you can't be identified by. This way, even if you're still coming up in friends' feeds, they'll have no way to know it's you. I know it sucks to be unable to promote yourself with hashtags, but it's only temporary.

    When you can, get a new phone that is exclusively for your SW hustle! (Honestly, get a second computer too.) Don't connect it to anything personal, not even one email address. Hustle accounts only. And don't log in to your hustle accounts anywhere else. This should solve your problem.

    If you do need to use one computer for everything in the meantime, get wise to VPNs and make sure you use a fresh VPN every time you open your browser for SW, be connected to it before and disconnect only after you have exited the browser. Don't use your browser for both SW and personal stuff in the same browser session. If you're done with work and want to check Facebook, QUIT the browser, disconnect/change the VPN, and reopen the browser.

    I'm sorry this happened to you, it's truly unfair. The stigma we live with is utter BS. Just know your internet SW sisters have your back, and anyone in your personal life who doesn't never deserved you anyway. <3

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    These social apps have been to programmed to data mine the hell out of everyone. To find connections you never even imagined in order for them to grow & grow. Facebook owns instagram and it is the most evil of all time. Very invasive & listening, tracking all of us all the time.

    Which is why on all the mobile devices in the past few years have been made so that you can not remove the battery. Even when the device is off they can remotely turn it on & listen in or track us.


    So I get why your husband wont carry even a flip phone Boleyn. Sorry to hear about your in-laws, it is evil how they are cutting off the kids but maybe a blessing in the long run from poisoning their minds with such hate & judging behaviors. They won't be able to stop saying things to the kids that would undermine & try to turn them against you.

    All apps & social media accounts are invasive and worse than any government secret agencies when it comes to spying on us. All of them want access to our contacts, data, audio & cameras. Now, I need mine for business, but have 2nd cheap ghetto phone with no apps, the worst camera, barely can connect to the internet & the battery can be removed. It is where I keep my family & others I don't want the world to know about on.
    My new fancy work phone, I wrap in a blanket or under me 80% of the time when at home. I've had my audio hacked on two computers by multiple people which fucked it all up & could not cam. So I dont even trust the cam companies anymore either.

    Don't get the Amazon Alexa thing for your house either, it is listening & recording you at all times.
    http://www.youtube.com/Samantha38GG Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

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  41. #23
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    I know exactly how you feel...this happen to me a few months ago. My brother..yes, one of my brothers told our cousin and our whole family that he saw my videos on a tubesite.

    My cousin said she told him that I'm a grown woman and that's her choice and you don't know her circumstances. At the time he was staying with her and apparently he was going on and on about it for days. She called me one time so I could hear him in the background saying stuff.

    The videos were of me and my boyfriend who I've been with for 5 years.

    I was embarrassed at 1st, but then I said to myself it's out there now and I'm not gonna stress and worry about what they think of me. I'm the black sheep of the family already and since everybody knows, I'm actually ok with that. My mom already knew I've been camming for years.

    My little brother is a spoiled 21 year old who acts like he's 15. He has no ambition, smokes weed all the time and swears he's gonna be the next Young thug. He's fucking terrible and doesn't know it. He's never had a real girlfriend and isn't too knowledgeable about how the world works or even sex in real life for that matter. I have 2 other brothers who have kids and know of my camming so they don't question my actions. Even after that my little brother would call me to talk about his wannabe rap career and I'd just make up an excuse to get off the phone.

    After he told my family, they haven't said anything about it and I know they won't, but I know that they know. And that's fine. Since then I've spoken to my parents and my brothers and nothing was mentioned about my online sex life. They know I'm an adult (30) and can't really say too much. I've always did my own thing even as a teenager so I know they aren't that surprised. I even talked to my mom about working at the strip club a few years ago and she said she wanted to go with me to see how it is lol. I was like umm no. That would be awkward.

    But all in all, this will pass. Just take whatever time you need to process what happen, and if anyone has anything negative to say, fuck their opinion. Trust me, it's not the end of the world, I thought that way too.

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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    These social apps have been to programmed to data mine the hell out of everyone. To find connections you never even imagined in order for them to grow & grow. Facebook owns instagram and it is the most evil of all time. Very invasive & listening, tracking all of us all the time.

    Which is why on all the mobile devices in the past few years have been made so that you can not remove the battery. Even when the device is off they can remotely turn it on & listen in or track us.


    So I get why your husband wont carry even a flip phone Boleyn. Sorry to hear about your in-laws, it is evil how they are cutting off the kids but maybe a blessing in the long run from poisoning their minds with such hate & judging behaviors. They won't be able to stop saying things to the kids that would undermine & try to turn them against you.

    All apps & social media accounts are invasive and worse than any government secret agencies when it comes to spying on us. All of them want access to our contacts, data, audio & cameras. Now, I need mine for business, but have 2nd cheap ghetto phone with no apps, the worst camera, barely can connect to the internet & the battery can be removed. It is where I keep my family & others I don't want the world to know about on.
    My new fancy work phone, I wrap in a blanket or under me 80% of the time when at home. I've had my audio hacked on two computers by multiple people which fucked it all up & could not cam. So I dont even trust the cam companies anymore either.

    Don't get the Amazon Alexa thing for your house either, it is listening & recording you at all times.
    All of this, and businesses mine data too, annoyingly enough. Can't even buy underwear in peace without having Big Brother on your ass....
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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  45. #25
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    Default Re: My life and reputation have been destroyed thanks to Instagram.

    I don't even know what to say, girl. I'm so sorry and I feel your pain. I've been outed by folks before so I know how you feel. I tried to join Insta and a very important contact popped up and that's how I knew there was an undisclosed link between them and FB. I had a pic up that was not me so I breathed a sigh of relief. All the advice given has been spot on so I won't add to it. I swear by my burner phone Sam38g! Brilliant minds think alike! People laugh at my old school phones. I could care less. I won't be tracked and chopped and screwed by technology.
    It takes a WOMAN to Suffer Ignorance and SMILE--Be YOURSELF No Matter What They Say.

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