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Thread: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

  1. #76
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    Default Re: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Perhaps I unwittingly engaged in some straw man argument - but in regards to Rick Dugans comment what I heard him say is that marriage (especially the type when one partner is the main income earner) is - in his point of view - different from women deriving income from adult work/vanilla work (with the exception of people who draft/sign prenups) because it is not "transactional" but I provided a different viewpoint because I believe that most relationships, including marriages, are transactional.

    In general, humans are inherently self-serving and do not go into situations/relationships/careers without some benefit/some form of advancement for themselves or for their current/future families. But Maybe his definition of 'transactional' is different from mine.
    I keep seeing you do this thing with people's posts where you like, latch onto one piece of what someone says and then you try and try to twist it(or you just repeatedly misinterpret it, I can't tell if you do it on purpose or not) to make it suit your point of view, all while failing to grasp the overarching argument that was actually put forth. It's completely fine if you don't agree with anyone, but the counterpoints you present more often than not have nothing to do with whatever whoever you're debating with actually said. For instance with that guy; he clearly explained why he considers the stripper/customer dynamic to be completely different from the husband/wife dynamic and why he doesn't consider the latter to be transactional......then you seize 4 words from said post and say 'Wait but don't these words of yours prove that marriage is actually also transactional? And the answer is no.....and the reason why it's no was already explained in the post you took the quote from.

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  3. #77
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

    Quote Originally Posted by Genoveve View Post
    I keep seeing you do this thing with people's posts where you like, latch onto one piece of what someone says and then you try and try to twist it(or you just repeatedly misinterpret it, I can't tell if you do it on purpose or not) to make it suit your point of view, all while failing to grasp the overarching argument that was actually put forth. It's completely fine if you don't agree with anyone, but the counterpoints you present more often than not have nothing to do with whatever whoever you're debating with actually said. For instance with that guy; he clearly explained why he considers the stripper/customer dynamic to be completely different from the husband/wife dynamic and why he doesn't consider the latter to be transactional......then you seize 4 words from said post and say 'Wait but don't these words of yours prove that marriage is actually also transactional? And the answer is no.....and the reason why it's no was already explained in the post you took the quote from.
    This isn't really about 'straw arguments' unless you make it as such.....YOU tend to think in absolutes/black and white - I do not. The answer in No to you because that is your point of view. While the answer is Yes to me (especially when 1 person significantly outearns the other) because that is my point of view.

    I am aware that on the topic of "is marriage transactional" - you, rick dugans, jack, sam have a differing point of view than I do - and that is okay - I am not here to change anyone's mind.

    But if people reading this they have a right to have a view a discussion with all the information from ALL sides not just the side you view or think is right.

    It was not clear to me which is why I asked him to elaborate so I can make sure I understand vs. misinterpret/jump to conclusions

    Besides, It's not about me or how you view my posts because that is derailing the thread.

    I simply wanted to know male perspectives when they start spending on civilian women whom they are not married to. I was interested in female perspective as well if their partners/bf spend on them before marriage.

    Adrienne said her now spouse invested in her education while they were dating
    Jack said he would invest but only if he had some benefit/return on investment
    Rick dugans said he would only invest if he were in a serious relationship heading towards marriage/in marriage
    And others have chimed in with useful information


    What I heard men saying was that they do not want to be or feel used so that is one reason why they/civilian men do not give money or spend on civilian whom they are not in any type of committed relationship (which I assume for them is either marriage or cohabitating)

    THAT was the question and THOSE are the responses I was trying to get at --- all the other stuff and opinions of me/my posting histories is irrelevant to the topic at hand
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 01-13-2018 at 02:38 PM.

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    Default Re: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    This isn't really about 'straw arguments' unless you make it as such.....YOU tend to think in absolutes/black and white - I do not.
    You're doing it again. Where did I ever accuse you of black-and-white or absolute thinking? And if what you're saying before that is that the idea of a 'straw man argument' is only being mentioned because I mentioned it.....yes, that's true.....and?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    And have you not latched onto 1 thing I said and fit it to your narrative?
    No, I can't say that I have actually.

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Besides, It's not about me or how I post - or you and how you chose to post/respond because that is derailing the thread.
    Yeah but the thing is, if you keep trying to have a discussion where you debate other people's opposing opinions it kind of really matters that you do it in a way that shows you actually comprehended what they were saying in the first place.

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    Default Re: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    This isn't really about 'straw arguments' unless you make it as such.....YOU tend to think in absolutes/black and white - I do not. The answer in No to you because that is your point of view. While the answer is Yes to me (especially when 1 person significantly outearns the other) because that is my point of view.

    But if people reading this they have a right to have a discussion from ALL sides not just the side you view or think is right.

    It was not clear to me which is why I asked him to elaborate so I can make sure I understand vs. misinterpret/jump to conclusions

    Besides, It's not about me or how you view my posts because that is derailing the thread.

    I simply wanted to know male perspectives when they start spending on civilian women whom they are not married to. I was interested in female perspective as well if their partners/bf spend on them before marriage.

    1 Lady said her now spouse invested in her education while they were dating
    Jack said he would invest but only if he had some benefit/return on investment
    Rick dugans said he would only invest if he were in a serious relationship heading towards marriage/in marriage

    What I heard men saying was that they do not want to be or feel used so that is one reason why they/civilian men do not give money or spend on civilian whom they are not in any type of committed relationship (which I assume for them is either marriage or cohabitating)

    THAT was the question and THOSE are the responses I was trying to get at --- all the other stuff/moral values/posting histories/etc. could be part of another thread.
    I'm on my phone and tried to respond to this message that was last edited at 4:19 But my damn keyboard glitched and erased the response. So I go back in and it shows that the message was edited again at 4:31. This has been happening throughout the entire discussion. Thats why I exited the thread the other night. I felt like this conversation was very manipulative. Like I read something, respond to it and then it looks like I misunderstood the posters point of view? But the truth is you went back and made changes. Again its a message board and topics go sideways, backwards and forwards all the time.

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    Default Re: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    I'm on my phone and tried to respond to this message that was last edited at 4:19 But my damn keyboard glitched and erased the response. So I go back in and it shows that the message was edited again at 4:31. This has been happening throughout the entire discussion. Thats why I exited the thread the other night. I felt like this conversation was very manipulative. Like I read something, respond to it and then it looks like I misunderstood the posters point of view? But the truth is you went back and made changes. Again its a message board and topics go sideways, backwards and forwards all the time.
    So because I use the edit feature available on the forum and you accuse me of being manipulative?????? Thats really mature.

    I have 3+ people derail the thread, taking personal jabs, jumping to conclusions, being hypocrites, misinterpreting my posts, and its somehow unheard of to use the edit feature to attempt to ORGANIZE my thoughts in a concise mature manner.

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    Default Re: Men --- When Do You Start Spending Money on "civilian" women???

    I actually encourage people to edit their posts, just so it's done to clarify, or to reduce the risk of antagonizing other members.

    Though of course the editing feature could be used to throw people off or trick them I suppose--not saying that's what happened here as I just now saw the thread.

    Anyway I have to go to work right now so don't have time to go through and see where discord started, so I will temporarily close the thread,
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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