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Thread: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

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    Default anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    I don't even know how to title this..just a ramble because idk who to turn to , I need to vent
    Jacq the stripper on IG was posting about her previous ED and how stripping helped make her see many bodies are beautiful and give her a healthier outlook , but it's been the opposite for me, like .."how"?
    My money anxieties ( which are just general anxieties , everything's fine but I still stress grr) now tie directly into my body anxieties as my body and looks are a huge part of my job obviously..and stripping in particular has a very narrow view of what's beautiful and acceptable (ime) and is pretty cutthroat. also I think turning 30..while realistically I know I look the same , just with more experience, my subconscious is focusing on the number and saying "better step it up to maximize your time and earnings!" Like I'm not even an "older" dancer yet but im mid-way..like I can see I should be starting to look at the finish line. I also take saving my money obsessively seriously , so it's not just "looks"

    Anyways, so yeah I'm not even sure if my outlook is "unhealthy" as I've stepped it up with diet, and exercise, and skin care, etc because I feel it's part of me being "professional" and taking my job seriously trying to maximize time and earnings. good thing I suppose?
    but I definitely feel a good deal of anxiety, anger at myself, and loss of control if I don't follow my little health plan.

    I think i would feel a lot a lot better if I had a good career lined up, but tbh unless you go to college it feels like most of the good paying decent jobs are very male dominated. I have a pipe dream of setting up my own business/etsy shop but I'm also realistic and I only have bartending as a backup.
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    Honestly it's good to have these times where you have a hard assessment of the $$$ potential of stripping. I blew a lot of money during my peak years & regret it now. I could be on easy street if I had just been better with money management. I mean I'm getting by but ow the regret.

    I'm kind of rambling but in one sentence...better sooner than later to have these thoughts.
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    I don’t dance anymore but I can’t stress the importance of at least attempting to go to college . . . even if it means just taking one class. Learning is mentally stimulating and if you take a college course you like, it can be fun.

    If you’re looking into starting business, I highly suggest that you research small business classes in your city. The SBA offers many free classes where folks can go and learn how to start a business (how to start an LLC, how to write a biz plan, how to get funded, etc).

    Blocking freeloaders and beggars in freechat like:






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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    I've done some college courses, honestly debt and thousands of dollars isn't for me and I can't think of anything that makes a good living (I.e worth the tuition) that I would enjoy doing the rest of my life. I'm not interested in technical STEM type jobs or anything medical (worked as an CNA/phlebotomist and no thanks, worst job of my life) so I've been at an impasse.
    I'd enjoy taking mortuary science but again, doesn't make a lot. So that's why I've been in limbo for years

    Thanks for the business info, I will look into it!
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    My game plan so far has been to dance as long as I look good/make money and save up as much as I can (thus the strain I've put in myself maybe) before moving onto a lower stress vanilla job ..that soon I will have to plan towards , as many of them you need experience before progressing
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    i work out, I get fillers, and I get botox. Most guys guess me mid twenties. I値l work on transitioning out and saving money, but I have to look at the progress I made instead of saying coulda, shoulda, woulda. As long as I知 hot, I値l be hustling. I have zero fucks about being a mature dancer. I also did the married and career thing, so i don稚 have that dream of leaving the industry to have a normal life like some girls do.

    I致e gone through hell and back and I知 happy I知 alive. If you have Food, water, and shelter you are richer than most people in the world! I understand the regret, but we live in a consumer culture. In fact, we live in the most marketed time in history! Our culture doesn稚 really teach us to save, so if no one taught about money how could we know any better.

    I went through a similar crisis, but finally I figured out I just have to take it one day at a time. I知 sure if you just search on the internet you will find something. I started counseling through Catholic Charities and I walked by their bulletin about helping people from prison find work- I知 sure they would help a sex worker leave the industry. I also do the 12 step program-they値l take anyone...lol:

    My advice is to take it one day at a time and write a list of things you might want to look into transitioning to.

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    I've done some college courses, honestly debt and thousands of dollars isn't for me and I can't think of anything that makes a good living (I.e worth the tuition) that I would enjoy doing the rest of my life. I'm not interested in technical STEM type jobs or anything medical (worked as an CNA/phlebotomist and no thanks, worst job of my life) so I've been at an impasse.
    I'd enjoy taking mortuary science but again, doesn't make a lot. So that's why I've been in limbo for years

    Thanks for the business info, I will look into it!
    Mortuary science can be a decent living in some regions of the US. My bff & her brother have some experience in that industry.

    You could consider working as a paralegal or many technical schools. I honestly wish I had got into plumbing & pipefitting but I'm so tiny I can't keep up with the manual labor of the job (so I wouldn't be desirable as labor.)

    Edit to add- Ifyouseekamy is right, our culture doesn't teach money management/ planning for several reasons. & Not everyone wants the 9 to 5 married life with a spouse and a overpriced mortgage.
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    yes. i feel like stripping is HORRIBLE for my eating disorder. i feel like it's impossible to say things like "it's just 2 pounds" and "no one will notice" and "i'm beautiful no matter what".. because that is the complete opposite of how this industry works? literally everyone is looking at me and scrutinizing me, and it effects my money. if i gain weight i can literally be fired or restricted to shitty clubs. and sadly i have always received the most praise and money from both staff and customers when i was deep into my ED.

    i never ever admit this to people IRL because i know they will say i need to quit stripping and i truly enjoy stripping. i also think i would struggle with the ED with or without this job, so that makes me say fuck it. but deep down i know it does make it much harder to cope.

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    This might not help you much, but I found that while stripping was extremely detrimental in every way you mentioned, camming is really body-positive. There are girls of all shapes and sizes... even when I gained 15 pounds, I still had guys telling me I was beautiful. I made great money as a camgirl when I was getting too chubby for stripping. There's also phone sex, texting, and other forms of sex work that can help support your income. There's a learning curve, and it's not for everyone, but I personally love it compared to the toxic strip club environment.

    I think stripping is a beast of a job. You really have to desensitize yourself to other peoples' opinions, and focus on what's good for YOU, not the customers. If you believe that you're working out and eating right for YOUR health, not for a customer to get a boner/open his wallet, then you will be much better off. It's easier said than done. Also, I think having an end goal in mind is very helpful, so that you know that in this limited period of time, you need to make X amount of money to achieve Y goal. That can help you maximize your earnings.

    An ED is a really difficult problem to tackle on your own, and stripping can definitely throw a wrench into your recovery. I'd suggest seeing a professional. I've been through plenty of mental health struggles, and sometimes you just need that outside perspective to guide you in the right direction. <3

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    How about getting into real estate? So many options from buying fixer-uppers to rent or flip, to traditional residential to commercial...Tons of strippers transition to real estate because its one of the few jobs you can jump into with no experience and the social skills we learn in the club transfer over well...trade work like Snuffles mentioned is worth looking into too, many areas have a shortage of skilled trade workers.

    As someone who also used to struggle with body image and ED I agree with everyone that the industry is really unhelpful with that kind of stuff. What worked for me was weight training! It completely changed the way I feel about myself and also gave me a better physique than most girls in the club which made it easier to make money.

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    Thanks guys.
    Yeah the past few years I've gotten very serious about saving..I have a decent chunk, but I figure the smartest thing for me to do is make and save as much as possible while I still have the privilege of being able to dance and make good money!
    I've been doing it for so long (since I was 23) and really just sex work for so long that I think vanilla work intimidates me now and the idea feels foreign and unpleasant.

    I'm so glad I have his site and support though, reading the replies and being able to get it all out in writing is helping me formulate why my anxiety is so high
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    I also have a weird thing where I equate my body with my earnings and I am not even dancing anymore! I have gained so much weight over the last few years that I convinced myself once I get back down all of the other things in my life will fall into place. It's part of the disease. The worst part is some days I miss being severely anorexic. Like, I wish my brain was still hard wired to be that way. I do not want to get too much into this part. Just letting you know you are not alone in these irrational thoughts.

    You still have several years to figure out what you want to do with your life, there is no rush to figure it out right now - but maybe start narrowing it down to give your self some type of path. What do you like to do? Like, what are your hobbies and interests? Maybe we can make some suggestions for you.

    What type of Etsy store are you thinking of doing?
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"




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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    ——....—
    Last edited by We had a rabbit like you; 01-17-2018 at 07:34 PM.
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: anxieties surrounding savings, body, long-term. ED vs confidence while dancing

    eating disorders are tough because the things I would normally recommend (like exercise and clean diet) can quickly turn ugly with an eating disordered mind but my best piece of advice would be to start your day with a brisk 30 minute walk to wake your body up and burn off some cortisol and then meditate for roughly 15 minutes. I have my best epiphanies about life/career/goals after a long walk and quieting my mind down.

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