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Thread: Monopolizing a dancer's time

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    Default Monopolizing a dancer's time

    Last weekend I went to a club in a city a few hours from me. I met a beautiful dancer there and felt an instant connection. It was a slow night, and we ended up just sitting together for 20 minutes or so before she even mentioned a dance. We shared several that night, and even more the next before I had to leave town. In total, I gladly gave her $500 over the course of the weekend. As I left, she gave me her info and told me to come back soon.

    I'm married with a son, and since my son was born, my wife has been unable to provide any semblance of intimacy. It's not that we don't love eachother, she is just, as she puts it, asexual now. She's been telling me to find someone to spend my time with, and after I told her about the woman I met at the club, she's constantly telling me I need to get back there. The intimacy of just sitting there and holding her while we watched the other dancers, the whispered conversations, every bit of our time together was exactly what I've been missing in my life. It was a fantasy, but this woman sculpted it to perfection for me.

    I'm planning to head out again on my Birthday. My wife insists that I go and have a good time, considering this is the first time my birthday has fallen on a weekend that I've been around in a very long time (since I was in high school). I'm limiting myself to $1000 for the weekend, and a friend is letting me crash at her place to save money. Now, to the root of my question:

    I want to spend as much time as possible with the woman I met, but I also understand she has a job to do. Of course, I'll pay for her attention, that's not a problem, but I'm curious how much would be too much. I don't want her to lose business from folks that might be able to visit more frequently than me just because I've got the cash to keep her occupied. If you were in her shoes, what would you prefer?

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    I would be happy to hang out with you for as long as you can afford. Honestly if a customer is going to drop 500 or more on me, I stop caring about other ones for as lomgnwshe's there, because thay easily puts me at my goal. The grass isn't always greener and all that. It's also way easier and less stressful to hang out with one pleasant customer all night than go lap hopping in fear of missing other small amounts of money.

    Every girl is different though. Just follow her lead and when you are done spending for the night, let her know, so she can choose if she wants to seek new customers.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    She will probably expect you to compensate her for whatever her goal/average is that night. So 1000 should be good (or more than good!) I'd say
    My good money nights are almost always spent with a particular customer who grab VIP or tips generously..work smarter not harder n all that
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    Hello Titus, thanks for the post. I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I hope it won't impair your relationship with your son.

    If you want my opinion, as an unmarried person with a lot of married friends, keep in mind these things can change over time. Enjoy your time in the club but keep and eye on your marriage and try to work on a solid friendship which can allow you to reconnect.

    Good luck finding a great ATF, but bear in mind this is a job for her, and enjoy her time but don't imagine she'll replace your wife. Some dancers want to make as much as possible, they might not be best for you. Some want to hit their goal, as Selina M says above, and have a more relaxing night. That kind of dancer might be your best option.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    Thanks for the insight everyone. That's kind of what I was hoping to hear. I have no issues compensating her for her time as she is well worth it. Who knows, maybe I can help her have a less stressful night at the same time. Win/win right?

    Bahuba, I appreciate the condolences but would like to clarify that my marriage has gotten a lot stronger lately, just not intimate. We both love raising our son and take him on vacations every time I get a four-day weekend. My wife and I are still really close friends, and plan to stick it out for our son. She's been telling me to find an escort or something like that for the sexual relationship we are missing, but I'm not comfortable with that. I certainly have no delusions or intentions of replacing my wife. I just want to get lost in a fantasy. I want to spend a night talking to, holding, and dancing with a beautiful woman. And when all that's done, I want to go home to the woman that takes such amazing care of my son. Probably not the standard definition of a PL, but hey, it works for me.

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    ^^Hey no judgement here - if you're taking care of your son you're doing better than at least 50% of couples based on what I see and read.

    To a certain extent that's what dancers like to do, give you a fantasy fun time, take some dough, and each go back to their lives.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    Titus, I have a very similar relationship at home and with my model/dancer friends. Just be fair with her and "let it go"

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    More than most likely the more you give her the happier she will be. I'm sure she likes you and enjoyed your company when you were together the last time, but you know how we professional women can be, we are on a mission. I'd say feel free to be as generous as you can be with her, and I am sure you will reap the rewards just through her joy of seeing that you are a good guy and do the right thing. Enjoy your time, whatever you decide to do.
    “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” ~ L.T. Ulrich

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    Default Re: Monopolizing a dancer's time

    So, sounds like my best bet might just be to talk to her, figure out what she's after. Hopefully our interests align (my initial read is they will), and we can have a good night together.

    Either way, barring something ridiculous, she's going home with my cash, whether we spend the whole night together, or just as long as $1000 gets me (2.5hrs at $20 a song). Thanks again to everyone that commented!

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