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Thread: Touchy Customers

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    Angry Touchy Customers

    Hi,
    I recently started dancing... However I'm not good at hustling/ I don't even know how to get from introducing myself to selling VIP dances. I just hope that these guys are drunk enough to get dances from me when I approach. I'm having a really hard time dealing with some of the touchy a$$ holes... they wanna touch my chest area and one even tried to touch me down there and it's really making me hate this job and hate myself. How do I get around these kind of people and how do I sell dances (vip) without doing nasty things?? Please.. any help or word of advice would be appreciated!!

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Oh wow. Many people in this forum allow at least one way contact some of the time. Referring to touching as "nasty" is not the best way to get the people on this site to give you advice.

    That said, I will give you the only advice I have.

    Tell them the rules. If they don't follow the rules, stop dancing.

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Honestly, I had my first day recently and this was just a part of it. When customers come in, that tends to be a part of what they want. I wouldn't say that it's necessary, but it's definitely going to help out some. If you are truly uncomfortable with it, set up the "dominatrix" vibe. Tell them, no, unless they're going to pay for another dance. Keep playing this game. For men who are into this kind of thing, it will be a real turn on. But if you are truly uncomfortable with it, I don't know if you should be a dancer. At the least, men are expecting to touch your boobs. On my first day I had men sucking on my boobs. Get comfortable with one type of touching and don't allow the other (likely, since they're paying a good amount, they're going to expect to be able to grab you in one place or another). Not saying it's right but it does come with the job description. It all depends on what you allow/don't allow.

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Everything from your post makes me feel like you'd be better suited in another industry
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Veteran Member Adrienne7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Yeah it's all about comfort level and club rules, but for example here in Portland, MOST places they are allowed to touch anywhere except pussy and sometimes nipples. Different dancers can have and enforce stricter rules of course, but that's the norm that customers expect. Only a few clubs do "air dances" and even then, the dancers can still touch the customer's shoulders, do a body slide down, put a hand on a thigh etc. Are you comfortable with them touching your thighs and waist? Some ladies just go with saying "no touching the kitty" and that's their hard line.

    I guess I'm saying, figure out what places if any you are comfortable being touched, and either tell them or show them by taking their hands there yourself. IF you aren't ok with being touched anywhere, you had better find a different line of work unless you find a true air-dance club where no touching at all is enforced across the board... do these clubs even exist anymore?

    As far as the hustle to get them back there in the first place, that's another story... lots of threads, definitely takes time and lots of reading on hustle hut Good luck!!

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalH View Post
    At the least, men are expecting to touch your boobs. On my first day I had men sucking on my boobs.
    I'm sorry I know everyone has different boundaries but it seems kinda extreme to me to be suggesting to a total newbie that she doesn't belong in the industry if she isn't comfortable with letting customers suck on her boobs! Contact varies so much from club to club, I've worked in places where this level of contact was expected for a $20 dance and other places where a dancer would be fired on the spot for allowing boob sucking even in VIP. I wasn't comfortable at all with boob touching when I started and didn't allow it until probably 3 years in, it kept me from being able to work at some of the more high contact clubs in my area but other than that didn't affect my money.

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrienne7 View Post
    unless you find a true air-dance club where no touching at all is enforced across the board... do these clubs even exist anymore?
    They're super rare but still around. Honestly though I wouldn't suggest any newbie to work an air dance bar unless they're a strong hustler from some other job somehow, or content with not making much while they learn it. Because there's zero touching you really have to convince customers that you're going to be entertaining for the time, which means a LOT of rejections and "maybe laters" typically while they sort of "mini-interview" the girls.

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    It depends on what city you live in. I work in a no touching club and still make money. Some cities are more conservative than others, like Orlando and some other cities that law is enforced. The only way you would be guaranteed not to have men touch is if you work on webcam/texting/phone sites. Honestly don’t feel like you need to do things your uncomfortable with to make money because you will regret it later. Good luck sweetie.
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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by lurkingtitties View Post
    I'm sorry I know everyone has different boundaries but it seems kinda extreme to me to be suggesting to a total newbie that she doesn't belong in the industry if she isn't comfortable with letting customers suck on her boobs! Contact varies so much from club to club, I've worked in places where this level of contact was expected for a $20 dance and other places where a dancer would be fired on the spot for allowing boob sucking even in VIP. I wasn't comfortable at all with boob touching when I started and didn't allow it until probably 3 years in, it kept me from being able to work at some of the more high contact clubs in my area but other than that didn't affect my money.
    My thoughts too. Touching breasts and slight ass grabbing is understandable. But getting licked, sucked, and bitten is another thing. I'm 6 months in and I'll never be cool with having my boobs sucked by customers.

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    You need to set boundaries with the customers and be firm and assertive about it. Let them know where it's okay to touch. If you're new and they know that, some customers will try to get away with doing whatever the hell they want. Don't let them do that to you. I've seen that happen with newbie dancers and seen them crying about it in the dressing room because a customer pushed them past their comfort level and pressured them to do something that they didn't want to do. Also, letting a customer suck your boobs, touch your pussy, or do anything that you're uncomfortable with isn't something that just "comes with the job description". Don't accept any bullshit, thinking that it's part of the job. You allow only what you are comfortable with. Your body, your rules.

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by lurkingtitties View Post
    I'm sorry I know everyone has different boundaries but it seems kinda extreme to me to be suggesting to a total newbie that she doesn't belong in the industry if she isn't comfortable with letting customers suck on her boobs! Contact varies so much from club to club, I've worked in places where this level of contact was expected for a $20 dance and other places where a dancer would be fired on the spot for allowing boob sucking even in VIP. I wasn't comfortable at all with boob touching when I started and didn't allow it until probably 3 years in, it kept me from being able to work at some of the more high contact clubs in my area but other than that didn't affect my money.
    i was gonna respond to her post but didn't wanna come off the wrong way..

    just FYI although it's been said- licking nipples is NOT normal and you don't have to do that. just saying because i've been there and i started in L.A. too! i remember on my first day an older stripper said "are you ready to get molested?" and i was letting guys suck my nips or at least touch and squeeze and smack me all over because i thought i had to. i was SOOO much happier when i changed clubs and realized that shit hole was gross and i don't have to do that.

    touching is expected at least a little bit, pretty much everywhere.. but you don't have to let guys be gross or aggressive about it

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet_honey View Post
    I just hope that these guys are drunk enough to get dances from me when I approach. I'm having a really hard time dealing with some of the touchy a$$ holes... they wanna touch my chest area and one even tried to touch me down there and it's really making me hate this job and hate myself.
    Okay, let's back up a little bit here... First off, if you continue dancing when it makes you uncomfortable with your body or makes you start to really hate men, you are heading for a downfall! Trust me, I've been dancing for sooo many years. This job can build up your confidence and self-esteem (as it did mine) or it can tear it to shreds (as I've seen happen a thousand times). DO NOT allow that to happen. That's why so many girls end up dependent on alcohol or drugs to get through a shift. Looking out for your mental safety is just as important as guaranteeing your physical safety in this industry!

    That being said, IF you insist on continuing to dance, here are a few pointers:

    First, you said you are hoping the guys are drunk enough because you don't know how to sell a dance. That may be your first problem. Experienced dancers know to stay far away from guys who are way too drunk because those are the most likely to molest you.

    Second, I absolutely agree with the advice many other dancers have already offered that you need to find a club that fits your comfort level. They DO exist! Also, once you develop a clientele of regulars, it will be much easier to spend your time with men you know respect you and treat you right and ignore the drunks and party people who don't want to spend money unless they're getting extras.

    Third, one reply suggested playing dominatrix if a guy gets too hands-y. I would also try the opposite. Be sweet! I tend to have a girl-next-door vibe and customers are much nicer to me because I'm always super sweet to them. Even guys who can be trouble makers with other girls tend to treat me better because I invoke their protective instincts. (I know it sounds weird, but trust me on this. My ex-roommate and I used to compare our experiences with the same customers and it was true. They treated her completely differently than me and we couldn't figure out why for the longest time. But we decided I'm more sweet and affectionate than she is and I can wrap them around my finger that way. They don't WANT to do something that will hurt me or make me upset.)

    Fourth, (and this goes with point #3) don't think you have to be raunchy to sell dances. I make my money by being affectionate and sensual. I never give nasty dances. And as for touching, try touching them first. Not in an overtly sexual way, but in a seductive way. I spend most of the song, touching their face, running my fingers through their hair, giving eye contact, blowing in their ear, kissing their cheek, hugging them, and thanking them profusely afterward. In my opinion, most guys come to strip clubs for intimacy and affection, not for sex or groping. If you are already touching them, you can tell them not to touch you and its okay. Neither of you feels bad about it. He can still get a great dance and you don't have to put up with any shit to get him to buy more.

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  23. #13
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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    Thank you everyone for your comments....

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    Default Re: Touchy Customers

    I've worked in this biz for 13 years. I do not let anyone do anything I am uncomfortable with. So yeah. They can't touch me.
    The reason I've lasted 13 years without going insane is that I set firm boundaries. Use your mouth and say something. If they cannot touch, move their hands playfully out of the way and tell them a bouncer is nearby. Or tell them that gentlemen get better dances.
    As far as selling, read Hustle Hut on here.

    You don't need to relax your personal boundaries to make money. You let the wrong guy suck your boobs (fucking ew), you could wind up in jail. So yeah. SPEAK UP and just say no.

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