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Thread: Should I tell her or not?

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    Default Should I tell her or not?

    Hello all,

    I am here seeking advice. While on Snapchat tonight I discovered a dancer's real name who I have been a regular of for the past 8 months. The real name was different than the one she told me (which is normal practice I'm sure).

    My question is should I let her know others can find out her real name or just leave it? She is clearly protecting her name and she may want to change her snapchat name/not give out that specific number if she knows others can find this out. On the other hand, I don't want to bring it up and potentially creep her out/ruin the fun we have now.

    Would love to know your thoughts. Thanks.

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    Featured Member Ifyouseekamy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    If you were creeping on her. I’d just not say anything. I’m not judging I’ve seen my ex’s ugly new girlfriend on Facebook. I’d honestly get creeped out if a guy found me on the internet, but then again i deleted myself from social media a years ago and never looked back.

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    How do you know her Snapchat name is her real name? She could be using 'stage' name in social media.

    You can use the 'my friend' approach. Something like this, "I went to see my other ATF last night, and her dances were not as good as usual. She was upset and concerned about her privacy, because one of her customers had found her Snapchat and figured out her real name. I hope she is in a better mood next week."
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    Honestly some of us use so many different stage names. I use several different ones. How can you be sure that it's her real name? I wouldn't say anything because it would probably creep her out.

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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    idk, if it was me, I would hope someone would tell me. I've seen other post where girls mentioned that their customers had told them so they could fix it? But like the other girls mentioned too, I have several stage names too...

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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    If her stage name is Amber Glitter and her Snap name is Summer Fire you're probably good keeping it zipped
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    Just to clarify she uses a stage name in the club, she then told me her "real name". This name is completely different than the name she had told me was her real name. Lastly, her snap name matches a Facebook profile with her picture and that has a small friend list.

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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    You've tracked down her FB, too? You definitely don't want to tell her you've found her Snapchat and FB, that would creep anyone out. I would just tell her, next time she gives out any sensitive information, "You know, you shouldn't give out information like that, because, with social media being what it is, it's easy to connect the dots." I'd leave it at that.
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    Just some friendly advice, I would keep all this to yourself IRL. Let me ask you, if someone found out your real name on here, and messaged you saying they knew your real name and your snap and facebook and had the names of your relationship partner and friends and relatives, would you be a touch creeped out? I think most people would. So don't worry so much about being helpful that you need to helpfully look up all her social media and helpfully do multiple searches on her.
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    I'm going to oppose the popular opinion and say IF she gave you the snapchat and specifically friended you on there, then I think you should tell her. You don't need to go into detail about how you then proceeded to track down her facebook. But I would want to know if something was off in my privacy settings. I once was dicking around with my Microsoft 365 settings, not realizing that it now connects to EVERYTHING microsoft, including the outlook email address that I use for escorting. I didn't realize until I sent a few emails (thankfully, all to good regulars who I'm not concerned about), and someone told me, that I had accidentally changed the name associated with my work email account to my real name. The only reason I know not to use my real picture on facebook anymore is because clients told me that I popped up in their "friends they may know" and they recognized me. (But how many people did that happen to before someone bothered to tell me?) I once had a facebook picture connect me to my escort website if you google-searched it, even though they weren't exactly the same - and would have never known that if an ex-bf hadn't admitted that he'd been creeping on my pictures and accidentally found that connection. Creepy? A little. But fuck, I needed to know that.

    The way social media connects and shows things and outs you, is rocketing beyond what people ever thought it would do to their privacy even just a couple years ago. Even screwing with my settings on everything constantly for privacy, I have had more than a handful of instances where it still did not protect me. And I think that's important to know. If you have this information and think she may be unaware, please tell her. Even if she's "creeped out," at least she'll be aware to prevent this from happening again. Again, don't mention that you went and facebook creeped after first seeing the name. Just keep to the original facts.
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    She did not give me her Snap - she gave me her phone number and she was recommend as friend I may know on Snapchat because she's in my contacts (her account is most likely linked to the number she gave me).

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  19. #12
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by AdviceNeededx View Post
    She did not give me her Snap - she gave me her phone number and she was recommend as friend I may know on Snapchat because she's in my contacts (her account is most likely linked to the number she gave me).
    Then that's what I would tell her. That after putting the number she gave you into your phone, she popped up as a recommendation on snapchat with her real name showing. That's out of your control. It's not like you went looking for the snapchat. If I was her, I would want to know. It's the same sort of thing as facebook - I had no idea that facebook was recommending me to clients until someone told me. And it had to have been through phone numbers. That's something that some people don't think about, but she should be made aware.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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  21. #13
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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    Aurora I want to thank you for your advice. I followed what you said and before I could even finish my sentence she knew what I was bringing up. She said she was aware of it already and the convo quickly moved away from it. Everything was normal and it didn't get weird at all.

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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by AdviceNeededx View Post
    Aurora I want to thank you for your advice. I followed what you said and before I could even finish my sentence she knew what I was bringing up. She said she was aware of it already and the convo quickly moved away from it. Everything was normal and it didn't get weird at all.
    Good on you for looking out for her safety. I would want someone to aware me.

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    Default Re: Should I tell her or not?

    That's why this forum is great!
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