So, tl;dr--from age 18 to 20 I danced on & off around the country because I had a hard time finding "clothed" jobs. We're talking: I was getting rejection letters from Burger King. I was also a severe alcoholic. It was kind of a disaster honestly. I got pregnant at 20 and returned to college, got a practical degree for a good office job, etc. I am 26 now.
I am so burnt out it's not even funny. I feel way worse than I did even when I was dancing in shitholes with women who offered full service. I feel sort of betrayed I guess? Like I did so much hard work getting sober, getting a degree, etc. and my life is so not how I wanted it to turn out. My day-to-day is mostly drop my kid off, stare into a screen, pick my kid up, and pretend I'm happy that I've made everyone so proud of me. The 9-to-5 lifestyle seems to be for people who are proud of their careers. And I'm just not. Mostly I feel like I've sold out. I've tried talking to my superiors, other people in my industry, and I just don't see a way out of how miserable I am. I feel like I've got no time for even my daughter, much less my other pursuits. I am back in therapy.
Anyway, I'm back in college--for business, to start my own business. A friend of mine tipped me off to a good club, 100% female-owned & female-run, that has very strict rules about sobriety, physical contact, etc. I'm thinking about saying to hell with it and seeing if they'll let me do a night or two per week. Has anyone else thrown away a "respectable" career? If my family found out I was even thinking about this I would get an earful about how spoiled & immature I am and how ungrateful I am to even be given the privilege to have a respectable career.



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