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Thread: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

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    Default Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    As a stripper, would you want to know when one of your regulars decides to stop coming in, or if he just drops off the face of the earth is that normal\acceptable? Would you want to know why, or do you not really care why, you just care that the $$ is drying up?

    Iíve found myself getting pulled a little too deep into the fantasy with this girl. Feelings have been formed and I donít see any way this ends without me getting hurt. I realize itís a hustle, so my brain knows better, she's just really good at it. To quote Team America World Police, maybe feelings are feelings because we canít control them.

    She has a worthless boyfriend, and they are talking about moving in together, and a small part of me doesnít want to pay this douchebagís rent and assist their relationship (because in the fantasy, we end up together, happily ever after). She has a day job that I think pays most of her bills, but sheís talking about a getting a more expensive place with this dude, and I donít want her over extending herself because she thinks my money is a guarantee. She works at a restaurant that my friends sometimes go to, I met her there before I knew she stripped, so I donít know if I can successfully vanish forever. She also has my real phone number and e-mail, but those are easy enough to ignore\block if the best option is for me to vanish.

    Iíve thought about lying to her, saying I met someone, or Iíve run out of money or something, anything, so I donít need to admit the real reason, because I think she's going to want to know why. But I just think I need to get out while I'm happy and things are good, instead of after I find out her boyfriend proposed, or she got knocked up by him something that would instantly shatter my fantasy and send me crashing back to a reality where the douche gets the girl.

    If I tell her, should I do it in person, give her one last good payday at the club, and then say I'm done? My only fear with this is she doubles her hustle and convinces me to change my mind.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    I don't care to know why. If the money stops, I'm on to the next one.

    You don't need to explain yourself. If you want to stop, then just stop and move on.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    In a situation like that I’d really appreciate the guy letting me know. That way I don’t factor that into my income for the month or whatever. Might be an especially good idea since you may run into her again. If she starts hustling you to change your mind you should block her. I don’t think you should do it in person because it’ll be harder not to give in.

    But at the end of the day you don’t owe her anything. If you must say something it would be a good idea to say you’re going broke or whatever instead of saying you caught feelings so she can’t use that against you

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Personally I think it's a bit rich for you to imply she's dependent on your money to afford a place. If we lose a regular we replace the income with other customers.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
    - Lux ATL

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    Ok so i gotta turn up the moronic drunk slut

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    I'd be honest with her, and if you're worried she'll "double her hustle" and rope you back in, I'd do some serious contemplation. It seems like, correct me if I'm wrong, that you needed something from her, and she gave it to you, but rather than letting a professional (her) judge how much you needed, you wanted more.

    Ironically, she may know what's best for you. She has a life, and you may need to consider what is missing from yours so that you can enjoy the club for the fantasy it is. She is interested in earning a living, that's why she works every day. She values you as a customer, but if you read posts on here you'll see that most dancers know that regulars have a time limit.

    I hope this doesn't sound preachy - I don't know you and I only have the above post to go on.
    Where am I? Roma


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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    well, she went from stripping 2 days a week to 2 days a month, and says she only goes to see me, which I think that's pretty truthful, because I show up an hour or so after she gets there, and she's sitting with me until either I leave or she leaves, typically 4 or 5 hours total, she's probably making around $300 an hour from me after tip out. she does stage dance, but she turns down guys at the stage and comes back to me because she knows we'll be doing a champagne room eventually. I'm giving her each night more than she's making in a week at her other job, so while I don't think she's going to be homeless without me, I think for the last several months, I've certainly been bank rolling her frivolous expenses. She is certainly enjoying the extra income, lets put it that way. I completely agree though, she totally capable of working more often, and find new customers to replace me.

    She also commented on night, jokingly, that some guy was asking for a dance from her, and I told her that's fine, she's gotta pay the bills, and she said, yeah but you pay the rent. which I thought was a good line. lol

    She was affording her current place without me, I just fear she's financially biting off more than she might be able to chew on a newer more expensive place, so I want her to know that money isn't going to be there, so she could make a more informed decision.

    And I get i'm just some benjamins when all is said and done, but if someone was giving me $300 an hour on a regular basis, I'd probably change my standard of living a little bit.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    There are two types of regulars that I would like to know are "quitting" for whatever reason- 1> Ones who have been consistent, regular sources of large income, i.e. somebody who comes in every second Tuesday and spends $1000, as I may not even work a certain shift without a regular, and it's good to have a heads up they will have to be replaced, rather than expecting them to show on a night and they just don't

    and 2. customers who are elderly/in poor health... I (and a few other girls that I have talked to) always end up being very concerned/sad that something might have happened with them.

    For the rest, you can kinda just stop showing up and it's something we expect, most regulars will have an expiry date.

    Edit: just read your last post, yeah I would definitely give this girl a heads up. You don't necessarily have to be completely honest about your reasons, but at least this way she knows she has to start working more, rather than just the shifts you come it.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Odds are, she won't even notice.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    You are over thinking this. Just send her an email saying:

    "Hey I wanted to let you know I need to take some time off from clubbing. Hope I see you again in the future when I start up again. I wish you all the best."
    Last edited by thehester2; 03-11-2018 at 07:23 PM.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    You can let her know or you can just disappear. That's usually what happens after a while anyways. Customers have a shelf life. Some of them are short-term and then disappear, while others go years before seemingly disappearing off of the face of the Earth. Know that she will just move on and find another customer to make up for the income loss. It's harsh but true.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Thanks for the advice ladies. She usually messages me on our regular day to confirm I'm coming, so I'll just respond and say no, and that I plan on taking a break for a while. If she questions why, I'll just say money is getting tight, and see if she buys that.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Quote Originally Posted by lieutenantdan View Post
    ... <snip>

    She has a worthless boyfriend, and they are talking about moving in together, and a small part of me doesnít want to pay this douchebagís rent <snip> ...
    Unless you've verified, the 'worthless' part of 'worthless boyfriend' may just be part of the hustle.
    Originally Posted by anjelina
    I don't know what it is about me that says "wife me up." Everyone wants to choke me or date me. Or both. This job is weird.


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    ... Kittens are assholes but they're just so darn cute.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Honestly most customer who would say this are doing it as a fake out plot for attention.
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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Quote Originally Posted by lieutenantdan View Post
    well, she went from stripping 2 days a week to 2 days a month, and says she only goes to see me, which I think that's pretty truthful, because I show up an hour or so after she gets there, and she's sitting with me until either I leave or she leaves, typically 4 or 5 hours total, she's probably making around $300 an hour from me after tip out. she does stage dance, but she turns down guys at the stage and comes back to me because she knows we'll be doing a champagne room eventually. I'm giving her each night more than she's making in a week at her other job, so while I don't think she's going to be homeless without me, I think for the last several months, I've certainly been bank rolling her frivolous expenses. She is certainly enjoying the extra income, lets put it that way. I completely agree though, she totally capable of working more often, and find new customers to replace me.

    She also commented on night, jokingly, that some guy was asking for a dance from her, and I told her that's fine, she's gotta pay the bills, and she said, yeah but you pay the rent. which I thought was a good line. lol

    She was affording her current place without me, I just fear she's financially biting off more than she might be able to chew on a newer more expensive place, so I want her to know that money isn't going to be there, so she could make a more informed decision.

    And I get i'm just some benjamins when all is said and done, but if someone was giving me $300 an hour on a regular basis, I'd probably change my standard of living a little bit.
    I think you may be over-valuing your impact on her financial well being.

    For starters, even if you are correct in your analysis of her current monetary situation, the fact that she's gotten a bit lazier while you are paying her does not mean that she couldn't adjust quickly if necessary by working more shifts. Most of these girls are well aware of the fact that regulars have a shelf life and that no money is guaranteed in this biz until it is handed over. I'm sure she has already considered what she would do when [not if] your payments dried up.

    Equally as important though, you are also assuming that you have a complete handle on her income streams. For all you know, she is already getting paid by someone else, either in that club or another club or maybe even OTC. What you are hearing from her could be part of the hustle, designed to make you feel important and special to her.

    Oh, and as far as your comments about her "worthless d-bag" boyfriend, he may indeed be all of those things. But like it or not, she wants to be with a guy like him more than she wants to be with someone like you. It doesn't matter why - it just is. I've lost track of how many guys I see on a customer site who write shit like this all the time and just cannot grasp the realities. If she valued the things that you value and wanted the type of life that you live, then she would probably be with a guy like you (though maybe one in her league physically). Instead she is living the life that she has chosen, whether you agree with her priorities or not.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    To summarize some of the thoughts on this subject

    From Both
    I’ve overestimated my financial impact to her, and completely underestimated her ability to supplement that lost income very very quickly.

    From the Girls,
    Most would like to know if there will be a reduction in “significant” repeat revenue prior to it happening, so they can make adjustments to offset that loss.
    None care why the income reduction occurs, and even mentioning it might be seen as a cry for attention

    From the Guys,
    No matter what I think of her BF, he’s still better than me
    Guys are stupid
    History repeats itself
    Bitches be lying

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Quote Originally Posted by lieutenantdan View Post
    No matter what I think of her BF, he’s still better than me
    no, that's not necessarily true. it's totally possible he does suck but i think the point is just that you shouldn't use him as a scape goat for the fact that there isn't a "real" relationship between you and the girl, cuz then it gives you a false hope like "well maybe if he were out of the picture we'd live happily ever after". a lot of regulars seem to do that when you say you have a bf no matter if he sucks or is a good guy they paint him as a loser who is in the way of their happiness with the stripper and it's immature and toxic

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Meant to be a little tongue and cheek because some of the fellas on this site come across as being a little jaded.

    But you're right, I am using him as a scape goat. I didn't realize I was doing it, but I totally was.

    Point taken, and thank you.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    Quote Originally Posted by lieutenantdan View Post
    To summarize some of the thoughts on this subject

    From Both
    I’ve overestimated my financial impact to her, and completely underestimated her ability to supplement that lost income very very quickly.

    From the Guys,
    No matter what I think of her BF, he’s still better than me
    Guys are stupid
    History repeats itself
    Bitches be lying
    Quote Originally Posted by lieutenantdan View Post
    Meant to be a little tongue and cheek because some of the fellas on this site come across as being a little jaded.
    Well, this may have been a bit melodramatic, whether tongue in cheek or otherwise.

    Finding ways to convince you to spend time and money with her is her paid job and it's not an issue of being jaded for guys on here to simply recognize that. Some guys simply lose sight of that reality after receiving enough attention and feigned affections, which leads to feelings similar to what you're experiencing.

    Some folks here have suggested keeping it simple because they know, through experience, that guys who pull their money after feeling hurt often create problems on their way out. Count me in as one who suspects that you're looking to continue to exert some influence over her through some swan song exit strategy. I could be wrong. But regardless of your motives, IMHO simple and quick is the best for all involved, especially if you wish to preserve both your dignity and her workplace comfort.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    It’s done, and went pretty much as expected thanks to some of the advice here.

    Here’s how the messages played out.

    Her. Hi <my name> I was wondering if you were going to make an appearance tonight?
    Me. No, not tonight
    Me. Actually I’m probably not going to come up at all there anymore
    Her. Are you breaking up with <stripper name>? (I know her real name from the restaurant)
    Me. Basically yeah
    Her. I understand, I totally get it
    Her. I’ve had a lot of fun, thank you so much!
    Her. I’ve saved almost all the money you’ve given me
    Her. I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me
    (I could have\should have left this part out)
    Me. Sorry for talking so much shit about your boyfriend, that wasn’t cool of me
    Her. No problem
    Her. I talk more shit about him than you ever did
    Her. You have to still come into the restaurant!
    Her. The only reason I like working Fridays is when you guys come in
    Me. Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be back

    Real anticlimactic, she is a professional and handled it like one, and I was able to walk away without looking like an idiot. Thanks again ladies.

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    Default Re: Do you want to know when a regular quits clubbing?

    I'm glad to see that it worked out well. She handled it very professionally. This is exactly the conversation I would wish to have with a regular if they decided to stop seeing me. No need for details as to why, but just to let me know that I won't be seeing them around anymore. It's nice to not only know that, but to be able to say thanks for everything and have some sort of "closure." Long-standing regulars do become a significant part of your life in their own way, and it's nice to say goodbye if they're leaving.

    I know it's all said and done, but my personal feelings are that I would want to know, even if I didn't know the reason. I've had regulars disappear over the years that I wonder why/where they went off to. Some of them, it's just curiosity - we were a pretty big part of each others' time/life for quite awhile, even if it was in a professional sense. It would be like going into the same bar every night after work, and then suddenly you disappear - the bartender is going to wonder what happened to you even if they don't "care" that you don't spend money there anymore, or even fully care about you as a friend or something.

    But I will say that it can also be a blow to income to assume that you will continue to make the same kind of money off one or two people, when you've been doing so for awhile, and then all of a sudden have it discontinued without warning. I don't blame him for it, but I used to have an escort client that saw me every month and I made an easy thousand off him. I always used his money as a cash savings that I set aside for large expenses. When it came time for me to go back to school, I started hardcore using up that cash savings, with no thought in my mind that I would suddenly not be able to replace it in a timely manner since this was a long-standing pattern with him. But he suddenly stopped seeing me all but once or twice a year, usually after countless emails back and forth about how he "totally will set something up soon" and then never doing it. I finally figured out what changed in his situation, and I'm not mad at him for not revealing everything to me, but if he had been honest about how often he was going to continue to pay for my services, I may have been more careful about shifting what savings and accounts the rest of my money went into.

    Yes, I'll always find a way to get by and replace lost income. But if someone is a making significant contributions to it on a weekly/monthly basis, let's not kid ourselves that most people wouldn't mentally be factoring that money away into certain spots/expenses and may take a blow and reel for a little bit if it went away without warning. I won't end up in the poorhouse, but it's nice to be able to plan ahead for the shift.
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