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Thread: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

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    Default Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    There was that episode of 'How I met you mother' that talked about when a hot person dates a not-so-hot person.

    I've dated girls that were out of my league (including my wife), and, I've wondered - what is this hot girl doing hanging out with me? Is it my sense of humor? My wit? My faked confidence and cockiness...? My wife admits that she did not fall in love with me at first sight (like I did the first time I saw her), but, she says I won her over with my sense of humor, charm and wit. She says I managed to get through a wall she had built around her, and, I guess this means she felt I connected with her.

    If you are a hot girl (and I assume most of you are) and you could date hot guys, but, you've chosen to date average-looking (or less) guys -- why? Is it because looks are not as important for a girl? ... because hot guys are too arrogant? ... because average-looking guys are more appreciative of you? ... because you have a 'thing' for a specific type of guy and this does not involve looks (like tattooed bad boy, long-haired rock band dude, indie guy, nerdy guy, etc.), ... or are there reasons?
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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Right now there is a guy whose personality I'm attracted to, but I'm not that physically attracted to. Like when I see him, I very much enjoy his company but I don't have that urge of wanting to fuck the shit out of him. I need to be attracted to both, inside and out. Or else I'm gonna get bored and dump him.

    I'm looking for long term. That is a face I gotta see for the rest of my life, so I want/have to enjoy it.

    My ideal guy example is Jason Mamoa(sp?). Tall, hot, handsome, fun, loves bikes, loves metal, love to get dirty and looks like he loves his wife and kids very much.

    I get bored easy. I need adventure. Someone like that will keep me so happy. Lol.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    What's considered 'average' is probably going to be different for everyone. I've never dated a male model-type, but I don't consider that to be attractive.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Why're you asking if you're married??


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Honestly I'm not attracted to Mr. 6 pack Model hot guys as far as dating goes. I am attracted to nerdy types of guys, even if they are average looking. If a guy is intelligent, has similar nerdy interests, can make me laugh, and is nice to me his physical attractiveness will greatly increase in my eyes. I would take an average looking Star Wars nerd over a male model any day.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    There are lots of qualities I value above physical appearance (intelligence, connection, kindness, supportiveness, a good sense of humor, ambition, etc.) and it just works out that the guys I end up dating are usually moderately attractive/slightly above average as opposed to supermodel good looking. I have nothing against "pretty boys" but I don't seek them out.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Actually, I care about looks as much as care about personality. I do not like nerds, jocks, funny guys,or average guys. They have nothing that I truly desire. I enjoy the super handsome flashy Byronic man because they are the only men that I could stomach for long periods of time. I like super thin handsome men with great deal of magnetism,charisma,dark,super cynical,super aggressive ,world-weary, hyper ambitious,extremely passionate,and brooding. I love men whom mirror many of my own personality traits.
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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    It is well-known that for women, the number one characteristic they look for in a man is self-confidence. Looks is usually down at number five or six. For guys, looks is number one.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    That's not true for all of us ladies. That's just an myth. For some of us women, looks are just as important as an man's personality. If a man does not have neither the looks nor personality that I desire. I will reject him outright.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmericanFlyer View Post
    It is well-known that for women, the number one characteristic they look for in a man is self-confidence. Looks is usually down at number five or six. For guys, looks is number one.
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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    That's not true for all of us ladies. That's just an myth. For some of us women, looks are just as important as an man's personality. If a man does not have neither the looks nor personality that I desire. I will reject him outright.
    Yup, my best friend will not even consider dating a guy unless he's model hot. Personality is a distant second for her.

    I don't fit the mold for men either. The most important thing for me is a connection. If I connect with someone, they instantly get more attractive to me. Whereas I've met some beautiful women that do nothing for me because the spark just wasn't there.

    I think everyone has their own method to the madness.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Actually,Titus23,I value looks as much as personality. As you can tell, I have a certain type but I never said model hot. Dark,attractive, flashy,and brooding is my type because I like men similar to myself.


    Quote Originally Posted by Titus23 View Post
    Yup, my best friend will not even consider dating a guy unless he's model hot. Personality is a distant second for her.

    I don't fit the mold for men either. The most important thing for me is a connection. If I connect with someone, they instantly get more attractive to me. Whereas I've met some beautiful women that do nothing for me because the spark just wasn't there.

    I think everyone has their own method to the madness.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    That's not true for all of us ladies. That's just an myth. For some of us women, looks are just as important as an man's personality. If a man does not have neither the looks nor personality that I desire. I will reject him outright.
    Ditto.

    Also a myth that good looking = dumb and a cheater. Um no

    Not all women, AmericanFlyer. I want looks to grab me and good character to keep me. He doesn't have to be model hot. Just attractive to me at least.

    So annoying when ppl I know assume I want a model. If he is great, but I never said he has to be a model. Lol. I tell my family that ugly and average joes cheat as well. I don't go by that myth that good looking men cheat. I've seen plenty of ugly/average dudes with hot women cheat.

    Fuck that.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 03-15-2018 at 10:49 AM. Reason: Eta

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    I value first and foremost :
    the way he treats me
    his empathy and kindness
    LOYALTY.
    Our long-term goals are compatible
    and how interesting of a person he is..Ive dated very cute guys who were emotionally shallow vapid and boring and it was a big turn-off. I need someone I can debate with who has interests and intelligence who I can have deep conversations with
    I like older men

    But don't get me wrong, I need to be physically attracted to you for a romantic/sexual relationship to take place. I'm not super picky or shallow in that regard because looks fade but ...you need to have good hygiene and be fit and healthy.
    Self care and self respect are important to me, so I expect the guy to also put in some upkeep and effort. If you're lazy and eating well/working out/being healthy/looking decent isn't a priority at all then that's a big turn off for me personally

    i will say I've noticed a strong bias of "men are visual creatures and looks are always a deciding factor, and that's just expected, and women are obligated to strive for physical beauty" but if a woman values a man on looks or money she's a shallow user. That is, if women are even believed to care about looks..sick of seeing the Seth Rogans paired with the Katherine heigles like that's the standard.
    Last edited by We had a rabbit like you; 03-15-2018 at 11:05 AM.
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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Quote Originally Posted by trustfundkiller View Post
    There are lots of qualities I value above physical appearance (intelligence, connection, kindness, supportiveness, a good sense of humor, ambition, etc.) and it just works out that the guys I end up dating are usually moderately attractive/slightly above average as opposed to supermodel good looking. I have nothing against "pretty boys" but I don't seek them out.
    I feel the same way. I need a guy with a strong personally to reign me in and patient with my mood swings, but not controlling. My bf is like this. I'm attracted to him, I think he's good-looking but not a model type. I've known him for years and never thought of him as bf material. He and I were unattached when we started going out as friends. I took it extremely slow with him. About 2 months of going out, we were on his couch watching TV and drinking at his place. One thing lead to another and I'm straddling him and grinding away. I think I surprised him. Lol!!!

    Bottom line - I like who I like.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    I have a type most of the time. Strong facial features, "handsome", nice eyes, thinish but in shape, lots of tattoos and a deep voice usually do me in. There are of course exceptions to this and personality can sway me. We are all a product of our environments and who we believe is hot. And for some women looks don't matter much.

    Men are presented with prefect women at a young age and tend to hold that ideal, where as young women we were given more pubescent idols that we could then grow out of. The teeny bopper idols did not look like men they were boys, it is a way to control young girls sexuality by giving them squeaky clean versions of who men thought girls should like. Look at how many teen stars turn into fugly adults. More and more straight women are being given diverse objects of desire( see Michael B Jordan) I welcome this as someone who has been objectified for my looks my entire life I want to be with someone who I find hot as well. I think these sitcom troops are on their way out, women aren't buying it.

    Also wanted to address that men often feel pressure to like "beautiful" women even if that is not their jam. There is a type for everyone and I hope as time goes on we can all embrace what we all really like and not worry about if it is an acceptable match in societies eyes.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Quote Originally Posted by AmericanFlyer View Post
    It is well-known that for women, the number one characteristic they look for in a man is self-confidence. Looks is usually down at number five or six. For guys, looks is number one.
    I'm not sure I agree with this 100%. Men put women into different boxes or categories and looks factor differently in each category. Here are six categories with beauty descending in importance.

    (1) Arm Candy/Trophy Girl - Perfect 10
    This is the type of girl you want if you are looking for a 'trophy' and status symbol. You look like a millionaire or a celebrity just by walking around holding her hand. She embodies beauty in its most elevated human form. BUT, she did not get to be so beautiful and glamorous by accident. This perfect-10 Barbie-type trophy girl became a perfect 10, because, she is OBSESSED with her looks and she is HIGH MAINTENANCE. She spends hours in the gym each day and she shops exclusively at Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Ave, and up-scale boutique stores (where a "cheap" dress means it only costs $1,500). She spends hundreds (or thousands) of dollars a month on beauty products alone. I don't judge this type of girl, but, I could not see myself with a girl like that for more than a short fling. Moreover, a woman like that has no qualms about 'upgrading' when she meets someone with more wealth, power and status, so, whatever ego trip she sets you on, your ego will come crashing down sooner or later when she upgrades, unless you are at the top rung of the ladder.

    (2) High Class Escort - 9 or Higher
    This girl is similar to the first category, except that, instead of being a status symbol she is a short-term pay-to-play private indulgence. I don't hire escorts, but, if I did, I would expect her looks to be 9 or higher.

    (3) Serious Girlfriend/Wife - 8 or Higher
    The girl you potentially marry has to be beautiful, but, not necessarily a 9 or 10 Barbie doll. She has to be 'real'. Beauty is important, because, this is what first grabs your attention in the first place and gets your heart racing. But, long-term, there are more profound factors that hold your attention. She has to be the most special woman in your life, not just another pretty face. You get 'high on love' every time you see her. She makes you feel like a god and inspires you to be the best person you can be (and vice versa).

    (4) FWB - 7 or Higher
    This girl is a good friend and a good lover. You feel comfortable around each other. You are not deeply attracted to her. There are no fireworks or chemistry, but, you enjoy her company and you have things in common (career, college classes, hobbies, sports, recreational activities, etc.). The sex is decent, reliable and easy to get.

    (5) Wild Girl - 6 or Higher
    This girl is wild and fun. She may not be the prettiest girl, but, she is always up for something wild and adventurous, and she knows how to party! She loves BDSM and other crazy kinky sex stuff you did not even know about.

    (6) Me so Drunk and Horny - 4 or Higher
    Label says it all.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 03-15-2018 at 03:35 PM.
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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    i just have weird taste in men. maybe it's because i'm bi but i'm only attracted to feminine, petite men. all but one of my boyfriends have been 5'5" or shorter. one of the last guys i dated was the same height as me and i'm 5'2" lol.


    i think the most important thing for me is intelligence. i really do <3 nerds. i've always attracted a lot of jock, alpha-male types and i am SO not attracted to those guys. beefy chiseled manly bros do nothing for me. i also don't usually find white guys attractive. attraction/looks are actually super important to me people just assume they aren't because my "type" isn't what society tells us a 'hot guy" is supposed to look like

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Not gone lie - I'd rather have sex with and wake up in bed next to a man who looks like a Greek God.

    I get disappointed with average or below average men and they need more to compensate for their supbar looks.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    because hot guys are assholes and ugly guys are socially awkward and annoying.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    I’m at a point in my life where looks don’t phase me anymore...not to sound slutty, but I’ve been with so many men that range all over the attractive-ness scale. The best ones I’ve been with were average to slightly above average (from 5s to 7s). The few 10s I’ve been with were either dumb, obnoxious assholes or they made me question their sexuality. Male model types do nothing for me. Most of those types of men are extremely one dimensional and I get bored with them. Aside from their looks, there is nothing there.
    The 5s, 6s, and 7s I’ve been with on the other hand...they all had other things besides their looks that got me hooked on them. Like confidence, intelligence, and passion! I value those things more than just looks. And it made me want them even more knowing that they weren’t being chased by all the other girls! 2 of those average men also had really big dicks which honestly, is so much more important to me in terms of physical sexual attraction.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    I've not had a serious relationship my entire time in the biz. Not sure if it's because for the majority of my time in the biz I've lived in LA, where most people want the whole world to love them as much as they love themselves and hence, they remain above pursuing meaningful relationships because they are too busy pursuing fame.

    However, when I was able to initiate and sustain long-term, serious relationships before this biz, there was one guy I was in a serious relationship for several years in my early twenties. I'm pretty average looking myself but this guy was sub-par. He was in his early 20s and completely bald in the middle. I grew up dirt poor, in the care of relatives of extended family and later, a legal guardian until I found the funding to go away to college on scholarship, so I had serious teeth issues to the point where a few rotten out, had to be pulled with implants put in later and/or root-canalled and capped. Yet, I still was very proactive in getting my teeth worked on the best I could, while this guy had his parent's health and dental coverage into his mid-twenties, and his teeth were translucent despite the access to care that he had, simply because he was too lazy to brush and floss. He wore glasses and also did not shower as often as he should have.

    Why was I with him? Because I was desperate. I didn't want to be alone, so I thought that any relationship would be better than none. He was a kind person, with integrity and very smart. So I don't completely regret it. However, had I had higher self-esteem, had I not been constantly put down while growing up to think I could never be anything or be loved by anyone, had I had access to other forms of emotional support than the first person I could find who'd stick around and who happened to be him, I would have 'shopped' around for someone more attractive.

    I've seen women in our industry end up with pimps for the same reason I ended up with the guy I described above. Sometimes it's just desperation for companionship and low self-esteem.

    However, as ppl have mentioned on here, I also think that sometimes girls are not as shallow as we'd expect. I typically don't go for men who look like mannequins. I find it offputting. If a guy spends more time in the gym than a stripper. I find it very vain. Chances are, his job doesn't require it, but his ego does. Other personal qualities besides looks are important. Plus, attraction is not just aesthetic qualities, it's also how you feel being around him. There was one guy I totally fell for, precisely because he didn't wear me out as almost all people do. Reasons like that.
    Last edited by ZeroSugarMonster; 03-16-2018 at 01:28 AM.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    99.9 percent of your life you are not having sex. How foolish is it to decide your future happiness, financial success, well being of your children over whether your potential mate has great pecs or if his nose is too big?

    If you grade people exclusively on looks, you will miss out on at least half of the nicest people you will ever meet.

    From my experience the women who are the best in bed are not the best looking women. There is certainly a visceral thrill in having sex with a beautiful woman, but no matter what they look like, it is a bigger thrill to make someone you care about lose the ability to speak the English language for 5 minutes.......

    Part of the problem with the focus on looks is our fixation with monogamy. IF you knew that as a well put together 50 year old you could ride the crap out of that 24 year old tennis instructor and your husband would give you a high five when you got home, perhaps the slight paunch and receding hairline would not be so troubling

    You work in strip clubs, I am not trying to convince you that ugly guys are nice, you meet ugly men who are horrible human beings all the time.

    I am saying that whether someone is attractive or not is not indicative of whether or not they will make you happy, in your life, long term.

    Banging hot guys is easy

    Being happy is hard

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    ^you will procreate though and.......last thing you want is your kids to come out taking the features of the less attractive partner and looking fugly then having to spend major money for plastic surgeries to help their confidence.

    Procreating with a man with muscle definition could mean your future kids are less likely to suffer negative effects of obesity
    Procreating with a man with an ideal nose means your future kids less likely to suffer from body dismorphia and ask you to pay for rhinoplasty to help their self esteem

    Of course women would also consider that the male has qualities of a good husband first before procreating based on physical attributes only. Most women are able to overlook or not care as much about physical attractiveness if they are being treated very well by their partner/spouse.

    Also, Men are more likely to chose partners based on attractiveness This is based on evolution and science. They are known to treat their wives like cars by 'trading them in' for younger hotter ones and 98% of the time they easily fall for thirst traps. Google heterosexual male attraction and how it relates to waist to hip ratio of women. Also men are biologically wired to notice women's physical features/attractiveness first before anything else.

    Women are more likely to chose partners based on how they will help provide for a future family (the looks is just icing on the cake)
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 03-16-2018 at 04:25 PM.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    ^you will procreate though and.......last thing you want is your kids to come out taking the features of the less attractive partner and looking fugly then having to spend major money for plastic surgeries to help their confidence.

    Procreating with a man with muscle definition could mean your future kids are less likely to suffer negative effects of obesity
    Procreating with a man with an ideal nose means your future kids less likely to suffer from body dismorphia and ask you to pay for rhinoplasty to help their self esteem

    Of course women would also consider that the male has qualities of a good husband first before procreating based on physical attributes only. Most women are able to overlook or not care as much about physical attractiveness if they are being treated very well by their partner/spouse.

    Also, Men are more likely to chose partners based on attractiveness This is based on evolution and science. They are known to treat their wives like cars by 'trading them in' for younger hotter ones and 98% of the time they easily fall for thirst traps. Google heterosexual male attraction and how it relates to waist to hip ratio of women. Also men are biologically wired to notice women's physical features/attractiveness first before anything else.

    Women are more likely to chose partners based on how they will help provide for a future family (the looks is just icing on the cake)
    Preach

    Oldster, that lecture was lame. As if women shouldn't be with men that they find physically attractive.

    Of course there is more than just looks. The physical is not the keeper, it's the heart and mind.

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    Default Re: Question for Beautiful Ladies that Date Average-Looking Guys

    In my experience, an 8 is the sweet spot in women. A girl can be an attractive 8 and have brains, personality, loyalty, depth, etc. If you push for higher than an 8 you will probably sacrifice on brains, personality, depth or loyalty (I'm not saying this is always true). But, on the other hand, I cannot feel attraction for less than an 8. I knew an amazing girl in college that was between a 6 and 7. She was my best friend throughout college, and I actually wanted to fall in love with her, because, I wanted a more meaningful relationship in my life. I thought she would be the perfect GF. But, physical attraction was not there. If it ain't there, it just ain't there.

    My wife was an 8.5 when we started dating in her early 20s, and she could have gone up to a 9 or 9.5 with just a little effort (make-up, sexy clothes, gym, etc.). Her outer beauty was what grabbed my attention two decades ago, but, what keeps my attention as we grow older together is her inner beauty. Exterior beauty is a fleeting thing, but, genuine inner beauty lasts until your last breath.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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