Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 303 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Sleepy

    Default Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Hey ya'll - I need some advice on a situation that has been weighing on my mind since it happened. Maybe just some solidarity or a pep talk.

    Here's some back info: I've been at my club for 2 years, never danced anywhere else but from what I've read and what I've heard about other clubs around my area, it's a relatively awesome club. Owners don't pry, managers don't reinforce schedules or snub us over money, they work with us if we need something, minimal drama in the dressing room or from customers. Needless to say, I've never had many complaints about the spot and would hate to leave this club and go to a diff one.

    So last night I saw one of the co-managers, Mike, was kind of arguing with a woman at the bar. I didn't think anything of it. Five minutes later I see our bouncer, who's this giant dude man-handle her and push her down the hallway repeatedly until she fell to the ground. She was drunk and stumbling but managed to get to her feet when Mike kicked her and she fell again. They eventually got her out the door and a bunch of us girls were crowding around the front like WTF. One of the dancers took her shoes off and went out to beat this woman up. This bar manager looks at me and she goes, "THAT GIRL IS A FUCKING WHORE". I learned later that this woman was a street sex-worker and was trying to hustle in the club. When confronted by Mike who asked her to leave, she slapped him in the face which is what initially prompted our bouncer to push her out.

    I've seen the bouncer lose his complete shit on dudes who are less powerful than him or don't actually pose a real threat to anyone. He does this especially when someone goes at Mike, it's this bro-y allegiance thing. I had never seen Mike lose his cool before, but I know Mike has PTSD and is just generally a simple white bro who tries to act like he doesn't have a soft heart but definitely does.

    Anyway so here are my thoughts: One of the perks of my club is that i'm not exclusively competing with girls who do extras. My managers try to keep it that way. I also don't have to deal with the fear of police raids in this conservative ass place I live. Lots of clubs get shut down here, hence why my managers try to keep it clean. I understand that Mike was doing his job, and the bouncer was doing his job by protecting staff and the club. No one wants to do their job. On the other hand, I feel like they were completely abusing their power and were doing so even more because people don't believe full-service sex workers have human rights. I'm sad for this woman, who has no safe place to work especially in this post-FOSTA/SESTA environment. I'm also fuckin mad that I had to watch that senseless violence go down especially knowing that I benefit from it and am protected from that kind of violence for the most part.

    So, I texted Mike tonight and told him this situation was bothering me and that I wanted to talk about it. He hasn't answered me probably because he internally knows he fucked up, but also because hes a Dude and doesn't wanna talk about feelings or whatever.

    Ok- I'm gonna stop ranting now. What do yall think? Have you ever felt powerless in a situation like this? What would you do? How do you deal with witnessing shit like this and all the complicated shit around the work we do.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to beverly_worldshaker For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Veteran Member Daniellaa's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    293
    Thanks
    206
    Thanked 686 Times in 230 Posts

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    It's a strip club not a brothel and she had the nerve to hit someone for telling her to take her bullshit and go? I wouldn't lose any sleep over it especially since it sounds like a good club and nobody who is doing things the right way is being mistreated. It sucks seeing someone getting roughed up like that but it doesn't sound like a bad club or like anyone involved is a bad person. That's what the bouncers are there for, to get rid of people like her. If she would hit a bouncer she would probably have no problem hitting one of you dancers too, think about that. Seriously "whorophobia"? More like not wanting ratchet trash bringing their illegal activity and being messy and getting their club shot down-phobia. I know I may sound harsh but I hate girls who bring their mess into the club and risk getting the rest of us in trouble or getting the place we enjoy working at shut down just because they're not good enough to make money just stripping like the rest of us there and they have to slang their ratchet pussy.

  4. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Daniellaa For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Um no....he is probably not going to admit on text (which you can later turn into police) that he prompted/did nothing when the bouncer roughed up that woman.

    Only thing you can do is be a witness if she reports it but other than that I doubt the managers/bouncers will admit to what they did. What they did was wrong, you can ask a person to leave without resorting to physically assaulting someone especially someone who is smaller/weaker.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    The dirty south
    Posts
    1,381
    Thanks
    1,942
    Thanked 1,993 Times in 605 Posts
    Blog Entries
    17
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Quote Originally Posted by beverly_worldshaker View Post
    I see our bouncer, who's this giant dude man-handle her and push her down the hallway repeatedly until she fell to the ground.She was drunk and stumbling but managed to get to her feet when Mike kicked her and she fell again.
    If were you, I would try to contact this woman and encourage her to press charges, offer to testify if she needs a witness, and tell her to take photos of her injuries and seek medical attention if she hasn't already. At least I hope that's what I would do. I have never been in your situation, and it sounds awful.

    The staff at your club sound like dangerous, volatile criminals from what you describe (e.g., "I've seen the bouncer lose his complete shit on dudes"). You've witnessed some severely fucked-up things. You recognize Mike's whorephobia for what it is. Do you really want to work around a ticking time bomb like that?

    I hope it doesn't sound like I am victim blaming. I feel like you might have Stockholm syndrome or something. I don't think you're benefitting as much as you think you are from the situation. Witnessing traumatic, violent acts isn't part of a healthy work environment. I know it's hard to find a good club and that sometimes you have to compromise. But if I were you, I would look into switching clubs ASAP. And also take good care of yourself and think about talking to a therapist about this. Don't talk to Mike about it! That won't accomplish anything.

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Winged Dinghy For This Useful Post:


  9. #5
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 303 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Sleepy

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Um no....he is probably not going to admit on text (which you can later turn into police) that he prompted/did nothing when the bouncer roughed up that woman.....What they did was wrong, you can ask a person to leave without resorting to physically assaulting someone especially someone who is smaller/weaker.
    I hadn't revealed anything incriminating over text but that's a really good point. I also agree that assault wasn't necessary, especially given that extras or that prostitutes aren't even a big problem in my club.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to beverly_worldshaker For This Useful Post:


  11. #6
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 303 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Sleepy

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    Witnessing traumatic, violent acts isn't part of a healthy work environment. I know it's hard to find a good club and that sometimes you have to compromise. But if I were you, I would look into switching clubs ASAP.
    Unfortunately since I haven't worked at many clubs I dk what it would look like to work anywhere else where this didn't happen. Do managers and bouncers at other clubs not abuse their power? Mine will sometimes take guys to the office and beat them up for not paying girls or kick out mexicans who are behaving as rude as any white dude, only just to build trust with girls.

  12. #7
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Edmonton
    Posts
    1,668
    Thanks
    2,969
    Thanked 4,552 Times in 1,250 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Quote Originally Posted by beverly_worldshaker View Post
    Unfortunately since I haven't worked at many clubs I dk what it would look like to work anywhere else where this didn't happen. Do managers and bouncers at other clubs not abuse their power? Mine will sometimes take guys to the office and beat them up for not paying girls or kick out mexicans who are behaving as rude as any white dude, only just to build trust with girls.
    Idk what the laws are like in your area but our security staff CANNOT beat people up. If the injured party files a police report they will lose their security license, whether charges are dropped or not.
    A bouncer's job is to keep the dancers safe- they keep watch and de-escalate situations and escort patrons out. If actual fights regularly break out in your bar it's a sign that they're not doing their job at the door or BEFORE situations escalate.

    Also if you frequently have problems with clients not paying it's a pretty good sign you're not at the best club. Either clients are crappy and down to cheat girls, or girls are scamming them i.e. they do 5 songs and she claims they did 10 kinda bs, knowing that the club has their back (or both scenarios). It's not a good environment either way.

    I'd consider trying out other clubs in the area- sometimes what you hear from girls in your particular club is that the other clubs are awful but they're obviously somewhat biased.

  13. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SuperJa For This Useful Post:


  14. #8
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    They are so whack here....

    mfs should be tossed out like this

    Name:  giphy.gif
Views: 880
Size:  1.79 MB

    but they end up just asking the dudes to chill out. On occassion they get kicked out and rarely, if ever, do they physically kick ass - as they should cause some of these dudes need it.

  15. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  16. #9
    Veteran Member Spicecake's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2016
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    213
    Thanks
    219
    Thanked 373 Times in 137 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    She assaulted the co-owner And seems like she was all around in the wrong for being belligerent and trying to take custies out the club. That being said excessive violence is never ok and they should’ve escorted her out and banned her. My bouncers don’t do much but look intimidating, at my club we’re on our own if someone owes us money or gets too grabby.

  17. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Spicecake For This Useful Post:


  18. #10
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 303 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Sleepy

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Thanks everyone for speaking to the nuances of the situation, I really appreciate having a community to get some feedback from!! Yall gave me some shit to think about, especially the legitimacy of my club. Seeing things in a diff. light for sure. My manager called me tonight and he may have been stroking my ego to shut me up, but he said he felt bad for kicking the girl in the ass to get her out of the club. It's whatever, people are so un-phased by violence it's nuts/sad. I at least got to have my say and tried to have a learning moment with him about decriminalizing full-service work and being in control and professional even when bitches piss u off.

  19. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to beverly_worldshaker For This Useful Post:


  20. #11
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    While the girl was in the wrong, especially for slapping him when he asked her to leave, it sounds like your bouncers/management just generally do not handle problem patrons appropriately. Beating up and kicking down people that they want out of the club isn't the right way to handle women or men. I would be really uncomfortable working in a place that drags men into the office and beats them up for not paying. There are better ways to handle that and get money without resorting to violence. And if we was that much bigger than this woman, he probably could have easily gotten her out the door without literally kicking her down the hallway.

    She shouldn't have been in there doing what she was doing, but I doubt it was even about that or actual whorephobia on Mike's part. It just sounds like they don't know how to manage/bounce with appropriate levels of force. I'm glad you spoke up and brought it to their attention to watch how they handle people. They sound very power-trippy about their positions.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  21. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  22. #12
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    259
    Thanks
    1,601
    Thanked 758 Times in 188 Posts

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    While she shouldn't have been in there trying to steal your customers, it sounds like you work with violent misogynistic whorephobes. I would lay low, make my money, and focus on myself. I wouldn't engage at all w them if I could help it, or keep it to the bare minimum.

    I also work w whorephobes, the only thing you can do is lay low and pretend to agree w them if you want to keep your job. It sucks, but that's the result of whorephobia and prostitution being illegal. If you want to change it, get educated, invest your money so it grows, and you can make changes that way. Call your legislator, start a blog. Idk. Do something to end whorephobia and be pro decriminalization.

  23. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to babb For This Useful Post:


  24. #13
    Veteran Member Elle:)'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    362
    Thanks
    303
    Thanked 932 Times in 296 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    I would look for another club. There is nothing wrong using a some force when things go in an undesirable way with a customer, but in your club sounds like stuff like that happens really often. Also I think that its not normal for someone to completely lose his shit like that, its just a job, not a personal situation.

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Elle:) For This Useful Post:


  26. #14
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Just my opinion-

    I'm not sure if your state has favorable courts for personal injury lawsuits. Honestly that's the first concern a club should have, that a person could claim being injured on premises & sue mightily.

    (My first club would make sure any beating would happen outside, away from cameras IF it needed to happen. The club was in a very ghetto city so this was an issue. Also the state it was in facilitates lawsuits over pretty much everything.)

    In these cases if there is a problem usually an employee is terminated to shift the liability onto them and away from the business.

    If it makes you feel better say something but IMO it'll just remind the club to make sure there are no witnesses in any future event such as this.

  27. The Following User Says Thank You to SnuffleUffleGrass For This Useful Post:


  28. #15
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    665
    Thanks
    4,041
    Thanked 1,444 Times in 520 Posts

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Do not get into an argument about ethics with a strip club manager! It will not go well! Sadly, you have two options. Try a different club, or deal with your guilt by volunteering and donating money to organizations that work with more vulnerable SWs. If you try to be a conscientious objector you might get fired or just become a thorn in the manager’s side he wants to get rid of. I’ve been in this industry almost a decade worked more clubs than I can count and have never met a manager who is not blatantly whorephobic. It’s sad. It we work in an industry that is defined as «not prostitution» and managers see it as their job to defend that line if they’re not getting kickbacks from extras girls, that is.

  29. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to vanessa_mtl For This Useful Post:


  30. #16
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Semi-threadjack but I wonder why more strip club managers don't threaten to call the police in cases like the one detailed in the OP.

    I KNOW they would be bluffing but the unwanted patron(s) wouldn't know that, plus many clubs have regulars who are off duty cops or sheriffs. Just throwing that out there since it might encourage someone to just leave quietly.

    (FWIW my first home clubs were in sketchy cities so I understand the amount of stress management and bouncers can deal with...…)

  31. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SnuffleUffleGrass For This Useful Post:


  32. #17
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2014
    Posts
    896
    Thanks
    88
    Thanked 2,152 Times in 643 Posts

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    I'm going to be the unpopular one here.

    This is not "whorephobia." This is a club manager not allowing a prostitute to engage in illegal activity in a club where legal sexwork happens. Off duty police officers visit strip clubs and word gets around that it's happening. This girl is not a dancer and had no business working your club for business. She was wrong for trying to work your club and management had every right to kick her out. They went about it in a seriously illegal way, but the premise was valid.

    She also physically assaulted a club employee. This is also something that won't be popular but nobody has the right to hit someone else. Aside from self-defense, women do NOT have the right to hit men, just like men don't have the right to hit women. Slapping a club employee is assault. It doesn't matter what he said to her. She struck the first blow and, if the police got involved, she could face legal charges for her behavior.

    That being said, the moment she no longer posed a threat to anyone was the moment to stop hitting/ kicking her and leave her on the sidewalk. Anything beyond that is also assault, so the bouncer and manager are also very much guilty of it too. So is the dancer that got involved. In all for keeping that behavior out of the club, but it was overkill and illegal. If this happens regularly, it doesn't sound like a club you want to be working in.

  33. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to kirakonstantin For This Useful Post:


  34. #18
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    1,368
    Thanks
    3,558
    Thanked 1,381 Times in 729 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    I wouldn't get involved. You might get fired.
    You can't reason with stupid!
    It's a night of clowns and buffoons! - Maitre de in NYC

  35. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Nyla19 For This Useful Post:


  36. #19
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    1,368
    Thanks
    3,558
    Thanked 1,381 Times in 729 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    They are so whack here....

    mfs should be tossed out like this

    Name:  giphy.gif
Views: 880
Size:  1.79 MB

    but they end up just asking the dudes to chill out. On occassion they get kicked out and rarely, if ever, do they physically kick ass - as they should cause some of these dudes need it.

    OMG! lol!
    You can't reason with stupid!
    It's a night of clowns and buffoons! - Maitre de in NYC

  37. #20
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Whorphobia at the Club - What would u do?

    Quote Originally Posted by kirakonstantin View Post
    I'm going to be the unpopular one here.

    This is not "whorephobia." This is a club manager not allowing a prostitute to engage in illegal activity in a club where legal sexwork happens. Off duty police officers visit strip clubs and word gets around that it's happening. This girl is not a dancer and had no business working your club for business. She was wrong for trying to work your club and management had every right to kick her out. They went about it in a seriously illegal way, but the premise was valid.

    She also physically assaulted a club employee. This is also something that won't be popular but nobody has the right to hit someone else. Aside from self-defense, women do NOT have the right to hit men, just like men don't have the right to hit women. Slapping a club employee is assault. It doesn't matter what he said to her. She struck the first blow and, if the police got involved, she could face legal charges for her behavior.

    That being said, the moment she no longer posed a threat to anyone was the moment to stop hitting/ kicking her and leave her on the sidewalk. Anything beyond that is also assault, so the bouncer and manager are also very much guilty of it too. So is the dancer that got involved. In all for keeping that behavior out of the club, but it was overkill and illegal. If this happens regularly, it doesn't sound like a club you want to be working in.
    Best response ever. I'm sad I can only like it one time.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  38. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-23-2015, 01:25 AM
  2. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-04-2011, 03:05 PM
  3. Employees of rival strip club burn down Club Onyx in Atlanta
    By miabella in forum Industry Insight
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-25-2010, 06:24 PM
  4. Man beat by club owner and employees at Oasis Club in Philly
    By mysteryman in forum Industry Insight
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-29-2009, 06:34 PM
  5. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-25-2009, 11:53 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •