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Thread: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

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    Default Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    What is considered 'snooping' when it comes to being married?

    Do married couples have privacy? Like could your spouse just look through your shit whenever and without telling you?

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Theoretically they could, but hopefully enough trust and respect for one another's boundaries would be there to eradicate the need for snooping. Any time you are going through an otherwise "off limits" space without permission with the intent of figuring out info or satisfying curiosity it is considered snooping. I think the boundaries and what's considered "off limits" would be highly dependent on the couple. My mom told me that when she was married to her first husband, she didn't want him knowing she had a vibrator so she hid it. Personally, I wouldn't care if my spouse saw my sex toy collection. My phone or laptop, on the other hand, would be an item I would consider private. Doesn't matter if I have anything to hide or not, I don't want a partner going through these items for any reason.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by trustfundkiller View Post
    Theoretically they could, but hopefully enough trust and respect for one another's boundaries would be there to eradicate the need for snooping. Any time you are going through an otherwise "off limits" space without permission with the intent of figuring out info or satisfying curiosity it is considered snooping. I think the boundaries and what's considered "off limits" would be highly dependent on the couple. My mom told me that when she was married to her first husband, she didn't want him knowing she had a vibrator so she hid it. Personally, I wouldn't care if my spouse saw my sex toy collection. My phone or laptop, on the other hand, would be an item I would consider private. Doesn't matter if I have anything to hide or not, I don't want a partner going through these items for any reason.
    Yup, I have nothing to hide, but don't you dare go through my phone without asking me. That's a serious breach of trust. If you want to see something, just ask.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    okay that makes sense about the 'off-limits' space with regards to how a couple would define it as relevant to "snooping"

    One of my relative was going through a divorce and said they looked through their spouses home office desk. Said spouse walked in while said 'snooping' was occurring and was like "Youre going to regret snooping". My relative was like "I'm not snooping cause this is my house and I have a right to look around my own house."

    Maybe they were not in agreement as to what (if anything) is considered off limits. /or maybe reasons for divorce just brings out the ugly

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    okay that makes sense about the 'off-limits' space with regards to how a couple would define it as relevant to "snooping"

    One of my relative was going through a divorce and said they looked through their spouses home office desk. Said spouse walked in while said 'snooping' was occurring and was like "Youre going to regret snooping". My relative was like "I'm not snooping cause this is my house and I have a right to look around my own house."

    Maybe they were not in agreement as to what (if anything) is considered off limits. /or maybe reasons for divorce just brings out the ugly
    I think if you feel like you need to dig through your SO's stuff, than something is already wrong with your relationship. Whether something is declared "off-limits" is immaterial. Mutual trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Obviously that's gone if you are sneaking through someone's desk, phone, or other personal area.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by Titus23 View Post
    I think if you feel like you need to dig through your SO's stuff, than something is already wrong with your relationship. Whether something is declared "off-limits" is immaterial. Mutual trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Obviously that's gone if you are sneaking through someone's desk, phone, or other personal area.
    That was the thing. I don't think there was a sneaking or else the family member would have waited till said spouse was gone or sleep or whatever but instead the look through the desk was done in a way the spouse knew.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    That was the thing. I don't think there was a sneaking or else the family member would have waited till said spouse was gone or sleep or whatever but instead the look through the desk was done in a way the spouse knew.
    Sounds like they were trying to get caught to send some sort of message. Either way, not likely a healthy act.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by Titus23 View Post
    Sounds like they were trying to get caught to send some sort of message. Either way, not likely a healthy act.
    Yeah it's not something I would do. I think this family member was sending a message - they didn't need to ask permission or to hide the fact they wanted to look around their own house for whatever reason. I think the reason was to find incriminating evidence for a divorce so the intent was not coming from an "innocent" place. This family member claims they would have no problem if the situation were reversed.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Do you feel like the house and whatever is in it is fair game since you both own it together?

    Like is your cellphone really community property? Unless you leave your cellphone in the house?

    Or like you said is the line drawn at looking through digital devices like phone, email accounts, etc that require password protection?

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    http://aaml.org/sites/default/files/MAT109_1.pdf

    Worries began with the invention of the Kodak Camera.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Do you feel like the house and whatever is in it is fair game since you both own it together?

    Like is your cellphone really community property? Unless you leave your cellphone in the house?

    Or like you said is the line drawn at looking through digital devices like phone, email accounts, etc that require password protection?
    For me, it's not a matter of what's fair game or not. Talk like that implies there is something to hide. If I trust my partner, I have no need to "go looking" for something. Why would I dig through her drawers or her desk? Why would I need to open up her phone and thumb through it, or scrounge through her purse? There's no need unless I am looking to find something incriminating. If I ever get to the point where I'm trying to find something incriminating, then the relationship is already broken, whether I find something or not.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by slowpoke View Post
    http://aaml.org/sites/default/files/MAT109_1.pdf

    Worries began with the invention of the Kodak Camera.
    This is actually similar to the "debate" I got into it with that guy in the other thread. My position was that a person gives up their right to privacy if they do something in front of a camera

    With respects to privacy during marriage, this paragraph really stood out:

    Stated more simply, to prove invasion of privacy based on
    intrusion, the plaintiff must show the defendant penetrated some
    zone of physical or sensory privacy surrounding, or obtained unwarranted
    access to data about, the plaintiff.30 The nature of the
    intrusion may include “unwarranted sensory intrusions such as
    eavesdropping, wiretapping, and visual or photographic spying.”31
    But a claim for invasion of privacy can survive only if the
    plaintiff had an “objectively reasonable expectation of seclusion
    or solitude in the place, conversation, or data source.”32

    In the realm of husband and wife relations, discerning what
    can be an “objectively reasonable” expectation of seclusion or
    solitude in the place, conversation, or data source must be fact
    specific,

    State v. Perez,
    35 where the husband was
    prosecuted criminally for surreptitiously videotaping his wife
    while she undressed alone in a shared bathroom:

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Also from the article:

    "The largest areas of non-governmental spying are commercial espionage and spying between husbands and wives."


    More recently, husbands and wives have taken to cybersnooping, i.e., looking into each other’s computers and e-mails.

    In White v. White, the court had the opportunity to discuss whether the wife’s actions in accessing the husband’s e-mail on his computer constituted intrusion upon seclusion under the Restatement’s section 652B. The court first noted that an intrusion may be: by some other form of investigation or examination into his private concerns, as by opening his private and personal mail, searching his safe or his wallet, examining his private bank account, or by compelling him by a forged court order to permit an inspection of his personal documents.

    The intrusion itself makes the defendant subject to liability, even though there is no publication.51 Thus, peering into one’s e-mails may, under certain circumstances, constitute an invasion of privacy. To constitute a tort, however, the intrusion must be highly offensive to the reasonable person, and a “reasonable person” cannot conclude that an intrusion is “highly offensive” when the actor intrudes into an area in which the victim has either a limited or no expectation of privacy.

    Thus, the crux of the issue is whether the victim of the intrusion has exhibited an expectation of privacy. The White court concluded that the husband had not exhibited an expectation of privacy, and thus there could be no invasion of that privacy he was claiming:

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Quote Originally Posted by Titus23 View Post
    For me, it's not a matter of what's fair game or not. Talk like that implies there is something to hide. If I trust my partner, I have no need to "go looking" for something. Why would I dig through her drawers or her desk? Why would I need to open up her phone and thumb through it, or scrounge through her purse? There's no need unless I am looking to find something incriminating. If I ever get to the point where I'm trying to find something incriminating, then the relationship is already broken, whether I find something or not.
    Yeah I think I'd move out ASAP if it got to the point my spouse was trying to gather "incriminating" evidence

    also it says here:

    "These cases should be contrasted in Colon v. Colon, where the court held that the wife’s video surveillance of an office in the marital home did not constitute an invasion of husband’s privacy. Implicit in these cases is some suggestion that where a spouse invades the privacy of the other spouse for a “legitimate purpose,” such as the protection of another or the prevention of unlawful behavior, an intrusion may not be “offensive.”
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 06-05-2018 at 06:42 PM.

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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    Some couples share everything including passwords to all accounts and others don't. Everyone is different & that can change with each person they decide to live or marry with too.
    I respect other's right to privacy & would never snoop. If a man is cheating it isn't long till he fucks up and you walk in on him doing it to another woman.

    If the other person doesn't respect your privacy like purse, a certain drawer, diary, email accounts and such then they don't respect you in general.
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    Default Re: Do Married Couples Have Privacy from one another?

    If you have a healthy relationship there is privacy. Never confuse controlling for love.

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