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Thread: Friend dying/works been horrible

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    Default Friend dying/works been horrible

    This past month has been really heavy for me and fortunately a few good opportunities are coming up but I’m having trouble shaking off the dark things going on in my life and I just need to vent.

    First off, a really good friend of mine has cancer and isn’t suspected to have much time left. He’s one of the only people I truly feel understands me and I’m trying to come to terms with how things will be without him but it’s difficult. Ive talked to him almost daily for the past couple years and I’m truly going to feel lost without him. It’s also my first experience losing someone close to me (I’ve experienced death with grandparents but never someone who knew me on a deep level). Maybe he’ll be ok longer than expected and I try not to think about it because there’s nothing I can do, but it still weighs me down.

    Secondly, I recently moved to Orange County and even though I’m happy to be here and have lots to do, nothing has gone as planned since getting here. My original house arrangement fell apart within 24 hrs of me moving in. Basically I found out one of the roommates (male friend of about a year or so who I really trusted) had been telling people we were hooking up (a mutual friend showed me texts to prove it) and that wasn’t the case at all. He also went into my room without asking and took food directly from my mini fridge! I guess my judgment just sucks when picking friends lol but I genuinely did not see this coming. He had never acted entitled to my things before.

    I’ve been staying in an airbnb in the meantime while looking for a new place. I’m sure I’ll find one soon but the airbnb is expensive and I’ve had the worst week I’ve had in my entire dancing career this past week. I know California is known for being a bad place to dance, but I’ve made good money at this club plenty of times before. This past week of 4 shifts has added up to the earnings of one regular shift, that’s how bad its been. I’m going in tonight just to get my mind off things, at this point im not even expecting to make much lol I just find it the most productive distraction I can think of. I’m considering switching to bartending if things dont improve soon because at this rate theyre probably making about the same if not more than I am. (Not to mention I’ve tried 4 different clubs over the past couple weeks and all were pretty damn bad). I am used to being a top earner and making at LEAST $500 but lately $250 would be a relief compared to how its been.

    Lastly, this isnt really important but I’ve been on dates with 2 different guys lately to get my mind off things and neither texted or called me again after date one. I didnt sleep with either of them thank god but I genuinely have no idea why they didnt contact me. I think I looked pretty damn good and made both of them laugh and held a conversation so I have no clue what the deal is. Doesnt matter or compare to these other issues but that combined with work has not made me feel very attractive.

    Anyways I still have plenty to be thankful for and I’m not trying to wallow in self pity or anything, its just been a hard past few weeks and I’m ready for things to turn around and get better any time now. I’m really doing my best. Thanks for listening my venting lol
    Last edited by somechick99; 06-11-2018 at 08:54 PM.

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    Default Re: Friend dying/works been horrible

    Sorry to hear that. That’s stressful. Take care of yourself. I’ve been in some fucked up situations. Ive been screwed over more times than I’ve actually been screwed. There’s just no shortage of unhealthy and unsafe people in this world.

    Strippers are like cats-we always seem to land on our feet when it comes to bouncing back from shitty life situations.

    Unfortunately, with cancer there’s nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. I know lots of people dealing with cancer and it’s something you don’t think can happen until it happens to you or someone you love. I do know your friend is really lucky to have someone to go through it with. Apparently, lot of “friends” disappear when they hear the C word. My friend told me HALF of spouses leave the marriage! Your friend is lucky to have someone like you. It’s this unconditional love that is so rare and true. It’s the one thing I believe that makes life so beautiful. I pray (in a spiritual terms) for you to have strength during this difficult time.
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 06-12-2018 at 05:58 AM.

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    Default Re: Friend dying/works been horrible

    Quote Originally Posted by Ifyouseekamy View Post
    Sorry to hear that. That’s stressful. Take care of yourself. I’ve been in some fucked up situations. Ive been screwed over more times than I’ve actually been screwed. There’s just no shortage of unhealthy and unsafe people in this world.

    Strippers are like cats-we always seem to land on our feet when it comes to bouncing back from shitty life situations.

    Unfortunately, with cancer there’s nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. I know lots of people dealing with cancer and it’s something you don’t think can happen until it happens to you or someone you love. I do know your friend is really lucky to have someone to go through it with. Apparently, lot of “friends” disappear when they hear the C word. My friend told me HALF of spouses leave the marriage! Your friend is lucky to have someone like you. It’s this unconditional love that is so rare and true. It’s the one thing I believe that makes life so beautiful. I pray (in a spiritual terms) for you to have strength during this difficult time.
    Thank you, reading this does make me feel better Love the cat reference because it’s so true! Dancers are tough or we couldn’t handle the job. I’m thinking of going to a different city to work for a few weeks because I know my friends in Vegas, Portland etc are making more than the girls at most of the clubs here. One thing I love about dancing is its a great way to take my mind of stressful situations and we can literally go do it anytime and almost anywhere

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    Default Re: Friend dying/works been horrible

    ^^^Hugs.

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    Default Re: Friend dying/works been horrible

    I would move out of CA. As much as I loved LA, the dating scene in CA was awful for me, the guys callous. I was hit on by a guy wanting me to go to his hotel until my actual flight away (and no he wasnt looking for a relationship or to provide an alternative incentive) until the very last day there. There are parts of the country where a guy hitting on you involves him telling you stories about his dog. In Southern CA, a guy hitting on you involves him asking you to his house to offer you hard liquor and bang, then toss you out of his house through the back door as he has a new date knocking on his front door. With the hard time youre going through, this isnt a healthy environment, especially if youre vulnerable and may be seeking out pppl who might take advantage. Its just not a good environment. As far as dancing, you can keep trying as I did but as someone who's been there and done that, I'd say: Why invest the effort when you can go and make $$$ as a sure thing elsewhere for the limited time you can do this job? As far as your friend, Im very sorry. I've lost a lot of ppl in my life either by death or estrangement and it can be very hard. Most people won't understand. It's a matter of finding whatever it is you need to help cope. You might need to wander a bit, pick up some hobbies that will be your source of therapeutic relief and maybe seek conseling to work through it if in person counseling works for you.

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    Default Re: Friend dying/works been horrible

    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroSugarMonster View Post
    I would move out of CA. As much as I loved LA, the dating scene in CA was awful for me, the guys callous. I was hit on by a guy wanting me to go to his hotel until my actual flight away (and no he wasnt looking for a relationship or to provide an alternative incentive) until the very last day there. There are parts of the country where a guy hitting on you involves him telling you stories about his dog. In Southern CA, a guy hitting on you involves him asking you to his house to offer you hard liquor and bang, then toss you out of his house through the back door as he has a new date knocking on his front door. With the hard time youre going through, this isnt a healthy environment, especially if youre vulnerable and may be seeking out pppl who might take advantage. Its just not a good environment. As far as dancing, you can keep trying as I did but as someone who's been there and done that, I'd say: Why invest the effort when you can go and make $$$ as a sure thing elsewhere for the limited time you can do this job? As far as your friend, Im very sorry. I've lost a lot of ppl in my life either by death or estrangement and it can be very hard. Most people won't understand. It's a matter of finding whatever it is you need to help cope. You might need to wander a bit, pick up some hobbies that will be your source of therapeutic relief and maybe seek conseling to work through it if in person counseling works for you.
    Thank you for this. With everything thats happened I agree LA might not be the place for me at least temporarily. I’ve decided to go to my hometown for the weekend and visit my sick friend as well as my father for Fathers Day, then go to Vegas after. Only after stashing away some $$ from Vegas will I consider trying LA again.
    Last edited by somechick99; 06-13-2018 at 01:53 AM.

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