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Thread: How do you know when you are DONE?

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    Veteran Member Adrienne7's Avatar
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    Default How do you know when you are DONE?

    *mods feel free to move this if another section is more appropriate*

    How do you/did you know when it was time to hang up the heels for good?

    I have been dancing 16 years but very off and on, sometimes years at a time of no dancing. Currently doing a shift here and there.

    I have walked out of clubs so many times. Just got dressed, walked out mid-shift, no explanation, no nothing, leaving bridges burning in my wake.

    When I don't dance for a while, I have dreams that I am dancing again. I still have dreams about the first peep show I worked at 16 years ago, before I walked out mid-shift one day and then wasn't allowed to return. In the dream, they change their policy and I am allowed to dance there again and am soooo happy. Anyway...

    Then, nights like tonight. I am dreading going in. But I feel compelled. Money addiction? I don't *need* the money right now per-se. I don't want to sit at home. The thought of hustling makes me cringe inside.

    My back is stiff these days. My knees finally feel good, but I am 36. My face is starting to show a bit of age, though I still pass for late 20s. My body is telling me "this isn't sustainable". I feel physically old, ladies!!! Omg.

    Anyway. A couple times I have sold all my shoes to the local buy-sell-trade clothing store, sure I am quitting for good. Months later I get the itch and start dancing again.

    Anyone else been through this?

    Did you decide to quit? Did you just gradually go in less and less?

    Thanks for letting me rant

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    I get how you feel, I have not danced since 2014 but have waitressed. Now I live in a city with bad clubs, I could go back in secret but really when I look at how clubs and the girls are now it puts me off. Clubs are greedier than ever and some girls really stupid, the fact they brag on social media, talk about their stupid pimps on social media too! and film in dressing rooms etc also lots of guys filming too, also everyone thinking its cool just to hang out at clubs, I miss the old days of it all being hush hush and mostly spenders in clubs. I don't know what to say other than one day you will just be over it.
    Last edited by chanzep; 07-03-2018 at 06:17 PM. Reason: forgot something
    xoxo

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    ^ Omg yes it's like you're describing my club, losers just hanging out, people filming the girls on stage and so many more girls with pimps now, what is going on?

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Yes I saw this a lot as a waitress last year, so many young guys coming in to chill and proudly state they never get dances, the other stupid waitress would hang out with them too it was annoying, at one club the management would be chilling with the pimps it was horrible 90% of the girls had pimps they thought it was normal.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Quote Originally Posted by chanzep View Post
    at one club the management would be chilling with the pimps it was horrible 90% of the girls had pimps they thought it was normal.
    Yep, sounds familiar. I've worked at clubs like that, but would just keep to myself.


    To answer OP, I don't know if I'll ever know when I'll be really done and 100% over it. I've felt that way before and took a break for like 6 months or an entire year. But I always come back. I knew I was done with a club though when I just couldn't even force myself to walk in even when I drove 45 minutes and sat in the parking lot for a half hour, trying to build up the will to walk in. I just couldn't force myself. Every cell in my body was like, "Nope. You can't go in there." So I didn't. I never went back to that club. But I found another club.

    I know what you mean about the dreams. It's like your subconscious is telling you to go back. I've had weird stripper dreams too. They're really interesting but I guess that's for another thread. lol

    I guess you know you're done when you just can't anymore. When you feel like you're forcing yourself every second you are in the club.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    When living the double life weighs too heavily

    When them dollars aint making sense & you can make more doing something else

    When managers be hiring ANYTHING

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    When I've got a toe tag.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Quote Originally Posted by Angelica21 View Post
    ^ Omg yes it's like you're describing my club, losers just hanging out, people filming the girls on stage and so many more girls with pimps now, what is going on?
    Seriously I feel like the glamorization of stripping, the dating world/low standards by women, and general sex sells in the media is really making the industry tank fast...

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    Veteran Member NYC.Bianca's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Personally I am putting all my energy into retiring in 1-2 yrs. hopefully this year because the strain on my personal life is just TO much. Im sick of the double life. Im sick of the stigmas. Im sick of always being single because I don't have the social energy to date outside of dancing and I won't date guys that go to the clubs because they are the opposite of men i like. Im just sick of being alone, and tired of the negatives dancing brings into my life. I still personally love it, but never having a personal life is killing me...

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    yep! When the cons outweighs the pros just make the next right choice. I’m thinking of travel dancing to get a break.

    I’m feeling very ensnared in this culture. I’m not able to have other non work related relationships.


    That being said. I’ve found refuge in the 12 step program it’s been my sanctuary for awhile. I like personal development too.

    I have other talents I’m developing, but not quite perfected enough to make a profitable living.

    Most people work 2-3 jobs just to survive. So what I’m doing although maybe unhealthy is very understandable. We do what we need to survive until we can find away to thrive.
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 07-05-2018 at 06:23 PM.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrienne7 View Post
    *mods feel free to move this if another section is more appropriate*

    How do you/did you know when it was time to hang up the heels for good?

    I have been dancing 16 years but very off and on, sometimes years at a time of no dancing. Currently doing a shift here and there.

    I have walked out of clubs so many times. Just got dressed, walked out mid-shift, no explanation, no nothing, leaving bridges burning in my wake.

    When I don't dance for a while, I have dreams that I am dancing again. I still have dreams about the first peep show I worked at 16 years ago, before I walked out mid-shift one day and then wasn't allowed to return. In the dream, they change their policy and I am allowed to dance there again and am soooo happy. Anyway...

    Then, nights like tonight. I am dreading going in. But I feel compelled. Money addiction? I don't *need* the money right now per-se. I don't want to sit at home. The thought of hustling makes me cringe inside.

    My back is stiff these days. My knees finally feel good, but I am 36. My face is starting to show a bit of age, though I still pass for late 20s. My body is telling me "this isn't sustainable". I feel physically old, ladies!!! Omg.

    Anyway. A couple times I have sold all my shoes to the local buy-sell-trade clothing store, sure I am quitting for good. Months later I get the itch and start dancing again.

    Anyone else been through this?

    Did you decide to quit? Did you just gradually go in less and less?

    Thanks for letting me rant

    I'm weird because I STARTED stripping at age 40. It's my backup retirement plan because my other job is in a very very volatile industry (commercial construction). back in the day I was a ballerina and I had similar conflicting feelings as you. It was demanding AF and when I did it, I was unhappy but when I wasn't doing it I missed it. I have slacked off dancing lately because of my injured IT band, but will probably start back. Its a vicious cycle. I don't know what the hell to do. I'm just a stubborn bitch and have problems quitting things, even when I should. I continued with ballet long after I knew I would never be successful as a pro, and I ended up with injuries. But I've been cycling through this dancer related burnout for 20 years now. But don't think just because you're hitting 40 your body will break down. I've rehabbed myself many many times, and will probably keep dancing until someone comes over and yanks me off the stage and tells me I'm too old. 15 years ago a doctor told me if I kept dancing I'd have to have double knee replacement, but nope I still have my original knees and they're doing quite fine.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    When the money isn't good anymore. I've been doing this for five years but this past year has been kinda shitty and has me motivated to start moving on to other things quicker than I planned. I figured I would do this for another five years but at this point i'm only imagining another year or two. I mean I still make a lot more money than people at most jobs do but the fact that there have been more slow times lately and the money hasn't been as much of a sure thing has been a wake up call. and A lot of dancers don't just quit suddenly but kind of decide to transition out.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Longtime veteran strikes again: "When my walker can't swing around the pole."
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    When you don't make money anymore. I see lots of super old dancers who need to retire, but can't cause they have no plan to fall back on. So they go from club to club until no club will hire them anymore. that's really sad.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Honestly-

    * when you come into work and pay stage fee to take a nap in the VIP area. Like, maybe you need a break. (I did this, BTW.)

    * when the pile of cash in your hand fails to stir joy in your heart.

    * when you can't stop yourself from saying things that whip VIP hosts into frenzies of hatred and (later) crying (I did it.)

    * Lastly, when "Netflix and pass out on the couch" starts becoming a regular event. Time to re-evaluate life.

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    Featured Member Ifyouseekamy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    When you don't make money anymore. I see lots of super old dancers who need to retire, but can't cause they have no plan to fall back on. So they go from club to club until no club will hire them anymore. that's really sad.
    I don’t care about being an “old” dancer. I plan on being one of those crazy bodybuilders in my 40’s-fuck ageism. I care more about not having another way to make a decent living. I want to dance when I’m a mature dancer as a way to save money for retirement or just because I can.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ifyouseekamy View Post
    I don’t care about being an “old” dancer. I plan on being one of those crazy bodybuilders in my 40’s-fuck ageism. I care more about not having another way to make a decent living. I want to dance when I’m a mature dancer as a way to save money for retirement or just because I can.
    Bodybuilder strippers are pretty popular actually.

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    Default Re: How do you know when you are DONE?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ifyouseekamy View Post
    I don’t care about being an “old” dancer. I plan on being one of those crazy bodybuilders in my 40’s-fuck ageism. I care more about not having another way to make a decent living. I want to dance when I’m a mature dancer as a way to save money for retirement or just because I can.
    yes, no doubt when you are hot keep dancing. i was saying i've worked at dives with ladies that really shouldn't have been dancing anymore looks wise, and their money reflected that. shit, if you're 60 and hot enough by all means keep dancing.

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