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Thread: Should I still work as a stripper?

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    Default Should I still work as a stripper?

    Hi!

    I want to say hi in the first place. I'm new to this forum and newbie stripper.

    I've been on the club three times dancing actually, and I've bad accident.
    To be honest few small ones and one bigger.

    I don't know what to do next.

    I recently moved to the UK, I'm going to study here. With my boyfriend, we couldn't find any job. Literally, nothing. Every single supermarket, every shop, pizzahut, hotels, nothing.
    I was thinking about dancing for a long while before, and I decided to try it.

    I've visited the club once, and I liked it. Staff was nice, they said that there is no touching rule and I'll be safe all of the time.

    It wasn't true at all, to be honest.

    My first night, I observed that girls are touched. Not on private parts but they're. Men's holding their butts at the bar etc.

    I had an argument in my mind- can I be touched or not? Maybe I won't earn enough money If I don't let to be touched?

    It finished the way I didn't quite want it to be- they touched me and kissing me but not the lips.
    I couldn't tell them to stop that... my own willings had to turn off every time.
    after all, I just >forogot< about everything and I 've been trying to find another customer.

    a big part of clients wanted to go with me to the hotel etc. I denied them but they push me so much that made me nervous.



    I went next day to the club, and next day.

    and then I've two customers. They wanted me to dance for them both. I've agreed and we went upstairs. And I don't know how did it happened, I became a piece of meat. They touched me everywhere kissed me and I allowed it. But I didn't want it. But I let them do this.

    The manago came and said that there is no touching rule. I got so scared then, so embarrassed.
    Fortunately, they were closing and I could go home.

    I cried in the car while going back home.

    I dressed up before going to sleep, despite that I always sleep naked. I didn't want to be cuddled by my boyfriend, it disgusted me.

    He was angry ( at the situation-he said- but I didn't want to make him more angry)

    Next day, I prepared myself and I went to the club again.

    We need the money, he still has no job.

    When I came, one of the girls said me that police will shut the club down because of me, she has been working there for 10 years and she didn't allow men to this to her. (But touching booty and boobies is totally ok)

    then manager, that if it will happen again they will charge the customer to pay a fine for me.....

    I felt guilty,... so embarrassed. I typed to my boyfriend that I felt raped... he was angry again, it hurt so much...

    I was crying so much in the club... I know I shouldn't do this but I couldn't stand it...

    I want to return there on Friday. I want to tell every customer to sit on their hands but I don't know if I could manage that. I couldn't do this before, I even didn't realize that I am not supposed to be a toy for a man.


    I realized why I was so anxious every time before going to the club then.

    I have currently no other income than this. I can't find other work...

    and It's hard for me to tell if I like this job or not... It is the first time I have such mixed emotions...

    I love to be seductive, to dance. But if I can manage my bad memories and customers?

    if I let them do this to me, it happens again?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member RyanXO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    If you are going to do this job you MUST have boundaries! Please don't strip if you have an inability to say "no," which sounds like the case so far.

    You are talking about feeling raped and crying and embarrassed and miserable. This whole post is EXTREMELY disturbing. Please don't strip if this is for real!!!
    Last edited by RyanXO; 07-13-2018 at 08:59 AM.

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    I have no reason to use my imagination... I didn't know about boundaries, I thought that people obey the rules... i know I just was so naive...
    I want to have strict boundaries now.

    Is it normal to allow clients to be touched in the clubs even there is a no touch rule?
    Last edited by Anastasia666; 07-11-2018 at 12:01 PM. Reason: supplementing

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    Veteran Member RyanXO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anastasia666 View Post
    I have no reason to use my imagination... I didn't know about boundaries, I thought that people obey the rules... i know I just was so naive...
    I want to have strict boundaries now.

    Is it normal to allow clients to be touched in the clubs even there is a no touch rule?
    Don't assume people will just be nice to you or "follow the rules". Lots of predators in the business, including other dancers and customers, staff, etc.

    I don't work in the UK, but we also have no-contact here in the US. However, guys trying to touch will just be a reality regardless of contact level. Even if the guy isn't trying to be an asshole it's just normal for some amount of contact. (Stuff like Pussy grabbing is NEVER acceptable though, but sadly guys will try that too). So yes, trying to touch and cross boundaries is normal. I also know that prostitution in the UK is legal, so I would assume guys there could try to solicit you.

    I am really not trying to insult you, or be one of those girls who smugly say, "it isn't for you." But it just makes me nervous for you that you feel so violated to the point you can't cuddle with your boyfriend or feel raped, I think that is going to be a problem. Just my 2 cents. Be safe and take care of yourself, good luck.
    Last edited by RyanXO; 07-11-2018 at 12:42 PM. Reason: Typo

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    IF you have no other way to make money right now, you need to research and learn boundaries IMMEDIATELY. Like RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Your sanity depends on it. Tons of books and youtube videos on boundaries and assertiveness. If their hands wander, you can take their hands and move them someplace more acceptable, like to your waist or thighs. Get your money upfront and end the dance immediately if they don't stop after the first warning. I understand about freezing up and forgetting what to say in the moment, then regretting things later. But you need to practice, and try. The club said no touching but it sounds like they only enforce a little bit. It's the same most places: clubs say you are safe but fail to follow through. This means it is up to YOU to enforce YOUR boundaries and watch your own safety. Where I work, some dancers allow boob touching and some do not. It obviously will take some mistakes and trial and error to find what you are and are not comfortable with. So don't be too hard on yourself as you learn, but boundaries are of the utmost importance in this work and unfortunately we are all kind of left to our own devices to learn them.

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    I think that you need to learn to push back NOW or quit.
    The damage to you from doing neither will be immense.
    I can virtually guarantee that it'll also damage your relationship with your boyfriend.
    It already has, in case you didn't notice.

    Whatever you'd do if you *didn't* have this job is an option. What would you do if you were a man? Not too many stripping jobs for men. So do that.

    Now, you could tell customers straight up: "You can touch my hair, my hands, arms, etc. If you touch anywhere that is normally covered by a bikini, the dance is over. No second chances. Same thing if you make me feel uncomfortable." And then do it. You *have* to be willing to walk away. Or whatever your limits are. Maybe you're okay with boobs getting touched, so then you'd want to adjust as a result. Obviously, you want to avoid things getting there, within the context of the dance, so if hands start to get too close to forbidden areas, it's time for a "cute" move that results in the hands being pushed away. There's an art to it. You want to NOT let it go there if at all possible. But if it does, pull the plug.

    I'm going to say something politically incorrect: some women give off a "victim" vibe. I'm afraid that you may be one of them. Men pick up on it. The wrong kind of men. There are decent men in the club, but you're not attracting them at this point. This, BTW, has little to do with physical characteristics, from what I've seen. I've seen a super-strong girl (the kind who could arm-wrestle men and WIN), who gave off a "victim" vibe. And I've seen petite females of the type that little me can carry away (literally) never get hassled, because they give off the right "vibe". I suspect that the super-strong girl let things go too far possibly because she had (well-placed) confidence in her ability to come out swinging if absolutely necessary - but that nearly did make it necessary.

    This doesn't only apply in a club environment, though it'll obviously be more intense in that context, if for no other reason than adding the "I paid for it" factor, which a lot of men seem to think entitles them to do a lot of things that they wouldn't do in their regular lives. There is, incidentally, a subset of men that are probably *nicer* in clubs than in real life. Attract those...

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    I don’t think you should be a stripper. Honestly. Sounds like you already have some form of ptsd.. I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience. If you really have to keep dancing I’d move to another club because it sounds like you already made yourself a target for hate from other girls and management which is just more stress you don’t need right now.

    I say move to a new club, start fresh and be strict with your boundaries. Men will always try to touch, lick, kiss and fuck no matter what the rules are. Staff SHOULD be around to stop them, but usually it’s up to you, and if you let it happen the blame will be on you. It’s not right but that’s how it is

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Hey OP, best wishes to you! Do what's best for you and take care of yourself.

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Hi! Thank you for replies! I had some technical problems with my account but now everything works fine I suppose.
    I went to the club two times and I earned much less... It was a really quiet weekend. On Saturday, it was empty. Some clients come after 1 AM (the club is open till 3)
    girls immediately found clients, except me. I talk to different people, they tell me that: in while you can dance with me I need to drink first. When I started a conversation with another person, I saw another girl who was pulling him upstairs.
    Once I talked to two clients for twenty minutes I think, they had said that they want a dance, then I heard that I look too young and they disappeared...
    It hurts so much as I had to break through my bad memories and fear... and I returned with almost nothing.

    The worst thing actually is that you need to pay commision for the day, on the weekends it is 80 pounds + from every VIP which is 60 p, 10 p goes to them.
    through the friday+saturday I earned 40 pounds and made 160 depts....

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Look on the bright side: dancing treacle’s really strong personal boundaries. You’ll learn about work but more about yourself and what you’re comfortable with doing and really stand your ground.
    Probably a new club or camming would be better suited for you, but yeah I used to bait and switch those guys. If they were after dirty dancers I’d prefer to be clean and deserve their money sooo
    FUCK YEAH finally retired after 6 years dancing!!
    NEW to camming
    Use the discount code "DANCER" to get 15% off ALL mermaid bikinis & swimwear at

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    I believe we are dancing in the same area. I don’t know what clubs you have tried, but there is one that is cheaper to work at and it is easier to not have the customers touch you. You can PM me if you want.

    Do you get paid up front? If you’re not already start doing so, the customers here are used to that. tell guys the rules after they pay as the dance is starting, and if they give you hassle it is easier for you to walk away or keep them in line by threatening to do so.

    You’ve gotta have a bit of a hard hustle with these guys because they can be so cheap, but this is something you can learn. And yes they will waste your time, it really sucks but you will get better at spotting and avoiding this with experience.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, Im not like other girls, then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    It seems that you had no idea of boundaries, and couldn't handle enforcing them. Also, you are harsh on yourself.
    I'd say it's lack of social skills and experience. I wouldn't give up dancing, just try next time set your boundaries FOR YOURSELF first, then be adamant with men. And say -set your minimum money goal to practice this. Say -I'll make 100$ within my boundaries. I will not go for a 1000$ even a slightest bit out of my boundaries. If you can enforce that for yourself -you can handle it with customers.

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl Anachronism View Post
    Men will always try to touch, lick, kiss and fuck no matter what the rules are. Staff SHOULD be around to stop them, but usually it’s up to you, and if you let it happen the blame will be on you. It’s not right but that’s how it is
    Club owners/security should do something called enforce the rules so women's safety is the priority.

    But as a dancer you do have a responsibility to establish and assert your boundaries.

    The moment a customer or potential customer tries to violate you (especially after you've made it clear their behavior is unacceptable to you) he or she should be reported immediately. And then you follow up. At the very least, the club patrons who are reported and found to have broken club rules should be asked to leave right then.

    Do not go along with something that deep down, you do not feel right about and don't want to do. Your safety and sanity is worth more than some money. If you are trying to get you basic needs met consider doing so in ways that will not be tied to your sexuality or when you are feeling desperate. If dancing is the only option right now, then make sure it is a quality club, do some self-improvement work so you feel good and attract the right clientele.

    We should never normalize sexual harrassment/sexual assault in the clubs or place blame on those who are victimized by predators otherwise these mf waltz right into the club sexually harrassing/sexually assaulting with no repercussions like it's standard practice until this becomes a pattern and men think its acceptable to behave like animals

    Like others have mentioned, verbalizing your boundaries to customers/walking away from people who give of creepy vibes/working in clubs that respect dancers and their safety/etc will help with your issue

    Oh and consider telling your bf to get some income. A man with no income/not helping you economically in some fashion - is a dead weight. There is no reason you should have to accept customers because of a need for money. I have a feeling you told yourself you should go through with the transaction (with these predatory customers) so that you could get your basic needs met. Please don't do this in the future.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 07-30-2018 at 09:05 PM.

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Don't risk your mental health. Maybe try camming
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 08-04-2018 at 08:03 AM.

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    Default Re: Should I still work as a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl Anachronism View Post
    I don’t think you should be a stripper. Honestly. Sounds like you already have some form of ptsd.. I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience. If you really have to keep dancing I’d move to another club because it sounds like you already made yourself a target for hate from other girls and management which is just more stress you don’t need right now.

    I say move to a new club, start fresh and be strict with your boundaries. Men will always try to touch, lick, kiss and fuck no matter what the rules are. Staff SHOULD be around to stop them, but usually it’s up to you, and if you let it happen the blame will be on you. It’s not right but that’s how it is
    ^^^^ This, and your boyfriend needs to go get a decent job. Even if he has to travel for work.
    "They're a bit strange in Los Angeles" Duckie, "NCIS"I've walked in L.A.. It was to my car, so I could drive in L.A..













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