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Thread: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

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    Default just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    I need advice. My GF dumped me, she was a stripper. So we went out and she went silent. She messaged asking for money. I said no but if she came to my place and gave me private dances I would pay her and the club wouldn’t take a cut. She agreed. But that’s not what happened. We started dating, restaurant and stuff and then she asked me to go to a wedding with her, abroad.
    I said yes. We went out for two months, I paid flights, hotel and her dress and makeup. And dating I paid for everything.


    We went to the wedding and her friends paid for everything all week, hotel, food and drink. I met her family and friend and her mum liked me.
    She had to stay behind and do paperwork and I came home for work.


    Then she started messaging saying she missed me. We video called every day. I paid for her flight home. Went to pick her up. We spent the weekend together but she seemed more interested in getting back to her friends.


    She said we’d go out this week. Then she wanted money for shoes, I gave it. Then she asked for a tv. I said no. Then I said I’ll call her.


    I called her and said the weekend was weird because I liked her and hadn’t seen her for a month but she seemed like she didn’t want to see me. She asked if I reply thought that. She said she was stressed.


    I said I know you’re looking for somewhere to live and it’s probably too soon but we could move in together. She said it’s too soon. I said I’d get her he tv. She said she’d call me back.
    She texted and said no don’t get a tv. I called her and asked if she wanted space, she said yes she wants space right now. I said if she wanted to talk then I’m here, and I care about you.


    Then she sent these messages. “Don’t get the tv” “my mom will get me one” “is all good” “nothing to worry about”.. I didn’t reply.
    Then 30 mins later she said “honestly is better if I have some time on my own. I’m sorry” and “it seems like a relationship I’ve not planned and is a bit too much now emotional for me. I hope you understand. Take care”




    I really don’t know what to do. I keep thinking I should ignore it. Or could I say something like “it seems like you were just using me for money. I will have no problem getting over this. Take care”


    Is there any way to get her back? Maybe no reply is best, or my message? Or another message?

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    You were dumped by a woman. The fact that she is a stripper is secondary.

    In terms of trying to figure out what to do, she has already expressed her wishes, which are for you to leave her alone.

    And if this was some type of money play, then you were just as complicit as she was. Maybe she did want your help with some things, but nobody twisted your arm. Further, I suspect that you were only too eager to play the swashbuckling financier if it meant showing off and spending all of that time with her. Whining about it now comes across as disingenuous and manipulative.

    Sorry about how this ended and good luck.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Why do you want her back? I read this twice and I don't see anything about her being so engaging or whatever? What did you like about her?

    "it seems like you were just using me for money. I will have no problem getting over this. Take care"

    I would only send something like that if I thought it would provide closure and make me feel better. I don't think this will win her back.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Sounds like a confusing and toxic situation, she doesn’t seem like a stable human being to be in a healthy relationship with. I would try to move on.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    I’m sad. Obviously. But she does ask me to leave her alone so I guess I have to be a man about it. There’s no way to get her back? Maybe she will message in a month or so. But there’s nothin I can say. I think I have to ignore it.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by KryptoniteJo View Post
    There’s no way to get her back?
    IMHO this old quote from the poet Kahlil Gibran says it best:

    “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Hehe yeah, it’s the line from indecent proposal

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    IMHO this old quote from the poet Kahlil Gibran says it best:

    “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”
    I think sting said it best - some of us will remember this one:



    In other news, this video was horrible
    Where am I? Boston


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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Dude, I know that you have feelings for her but you need to let go. The fact that you considered sending her a message that it seemed like she was just using you for money says it all. If that's how you really feel then why would you wish to continue on that path? It doesn't sound like she's all that interested in you anyways. Let her go. Yes, people often want the feeling of closure after the end of a relationship but sometimes you won't get it. You'll find someone else.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Plenty of fish in the sea. Never, ever pursue a woman who tells you not to. That only works in certain kinds of really stupid movies.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Being all needy aint the way to win her back over.
    Move on with your life, find something positive to do in order to keep your mind off of her.
    If it was meant to be she will miss you and come back, for this to happen, she needs to miss you.

    Change your hair change your life is great after a break up.
    Go to the Gym, lose some weight or get into better shape.
    Go your with your girlfriends and get drunk.
    Volunteer at a pet shelter.
    Reorganize your closet.
    http://www.youtube.com/Samantha38GG Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

    Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is. Mae West

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    So if she wasn't a stripper you would not have paid for all those things?

    She turned down you buying her a tv........ if she was using you for money then she would have kept you hanging on to pay for more stuff. Didn't you volunteer to buy her a tv? So how is that using you for money?

    Seems to me you used money as a tool instead of real emotional investment and when you didn't get the exact dividend you where wanting you are unhappy.
    Instead of helping her find a new but separate place to live because she wasn't ready for that next major step, you were throwing money as a way to solve all her issues instead of listening & being there for her other than just money. Sounds a lot like, I don't like what you are doing so let me dangle some money to make you dance to my tune/
    http://www.youtube.com/Samantha38GG Video blogs on Camming industry & how to succeed at camming.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    She wasn't your gf, you were her customer

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shy2 View Post
    She wasn't your gf, you were her customer
    OP KryptoniteJo,
    While only God knows what her true intentions were and are, IF, repeat IF you were only a customer to her.....you can get beyond the hurt and frustration and grow from this. Thus you will be better off the next time a woman and you decide to....whatever it is you decide.

    As Sam38G wrote in part:

    "Move on with your life, find something positive to do in order to keep your mind off of her.
    If it was meant to be she will miss you and come back, for this to happen, she needs to miss you.

    Change your hair change your life is great after a break up.
    Go to the Gym, lose some weight or get into better shape.
    Go your with your girlfriends and get drunk.
    Volunteer at a pet shelter.
    Reorganize your closet."

    Use this experience to get better. Don't beat yourself up endlessly or chase someone who may well not want to be your GF.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a transactional relationship, but both parties should understand the terms.

    Im always upfront with guys about the nature of our relationship.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Deleted post
    Last edited by KryptoniteJo; 08-03-2018 at 08:44 AM.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    What?

    Dude Condense!!!!

    All I know is you are thinking way too into this. She said she needed space or whatnot. So just let it go for now and find some new ladies, hang with your guy friends, participate in your hobbies, etc

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Time to find some male pride now dude and move on. Maybe you could hit the gym more, improve your cooking skills, get involved in some activities, etc., etc. IDk, but IMHO you clearly need something to bolster your self-respect.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    Ok, I will. I’m definitely thinking too much. And can’t wait for gym later anyway, that usually clears my head.

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    Default Re: just been dumped by a stripper, any advice?

    First of all, this sounds like another "Does this stripper like me" type of thread and this is your second one. Leave this woman alone and find something else to do. Secondly, if you have to asked "Do she like me?" in two threads....than she never liked you and was just using a romance hustle on you to cultivate more money.In fact, she used a very basic Romani Romance hustle on you but you also played your games too.You held money over her head in order to gain more of a emotional advantage over her but she was not moved.This is not love but you guys playing games with each other.Third, don't play games unless you are ready for the fallout. Hopefully, you will never come on here again and write about this woman.
    Last edited by DonaDiabla; 08-05-2018 at 10:06 AM.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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