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Thread: What would you do ?

  1. #1
    Featured Member Girly_Girl's Avatar
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    Default What would you do ?

    I had a Dr's appointment with an obgyn specialist that I have been seeing for the last 4 years but I missed an appointment with him a couple of years ago and I was just now able to get back into see him. I've been trying to get another appointment with him for the last 2 years but my drs office kept giving me the run around with my referral! I went over a year without a period ( 371 days according to my app on my phone ) then started my period on Friday. Luckily I had already scheduled my appointment with him but when I told him that I've been having painful sex for the last year or so he seems to think I was already in menopause and that the bleeding could be cancer? I cried all all the way home and for several hours afterwards.

    He's sending me for blood work to check my hormones to see if I'm in menopause and also for some ultrasounds to check other things too. I don't go back to see him until September 26th tho and won't know the test results until then. The whole thing stresses me out tho cause if I was to have to take some time off from a hysterectomy or chemo if it turns out to be cancer, He's wanted to do the surgery before but I told him that I couldn't afford to take the time off, so we'd just agreed to monitor the cysts to make sure they weren't getting any bigger.

    I don't know how I'd survive cause I am not married or have boyfriend that lives with me and helps with the bills so I would be screwed pretty much. I have a lot of bills plus $400 a month credit card bills. The credit card bills are what worries me the most tho cause if I get behind on them, I would never get caught back up with all the late fees and then I'm afraid they would put a lien on my house and then I'd lose my house ;( I've already checked into filing bankruptcy once before but the lawyer said that I had too much equity built up in my house and that if I filed bankruptcy, they might try to take my house from me. Since then, my son has gotten his disability and I was told that I might could file now and them not take my house since he is disabled and still lives under my roof. I'm going to talk to another laywer about that and see what can be done tho.

    So, my question is this, I've seen girls start a fund me to help pay for surgeries and their time off for recovery after the surgery. Should I do the same thing somehow just in case I have to have the surgery? Only bad thing is if I wait till I know for sure, I probably wouldn't have enough time to prepare because if the test come back saying there is something wrong, he will probably want to do the surgery right away and then if it's cancer I may have to go thru chemo. I just don't want to start something and then not have to have the surgery and then the guys think that I scammed them or something? In all actuality I probably should have the surgery done anyways. When we talked about doing the surgery a couple of years ago, he sent me to another Dr about my gallbladder to have it removed at the same time so it could all be done in one day. I've been needing gallbladder surgery done for over 10 years but have been putting that off too.

    Opinions? What would you do in my situation? Would you start a fund just in case? Any other ideas of how I could prepare too just in case I need surgery?

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  3. #2
    God/dess caramelcraze's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    if it's really bad, they'll let you know far sooner than that. Had two cancer scares last year and they were back to me within a week with both. you always have a "live like you're dying" moment when this kind of situation occurs. don't do anything rash or over the top, just work your tail off between now and then. put money away, save like crazy, and wait to react until you find out what is actually wrong. if you can't cam, do phone sex & clips. Definitely talk to your lawyer as well if it will put you at ease.
    hope all goes well!

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    God/dess Erika_Xstacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    You could have simple cysts.
    I have ovary cysts that are extremely painful at times. I forget about it until the pain begins.
    They have to be checked yearly bc it can turn into cancer.

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    Featured Member Girly_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by caramelcraze View Post
    if it's really bad, they'll let you know far sooner than that. Had two cancer scares last year and they were back to me within a week with both. you always have a "live like you're dying" moment when this kind of situation occurs. don't do anything rash or over the top, just work your tail off between now and then. put money away, save like crazy, and wait to react until you find out what is actually wrong. if you can't cam, do phone sex & clips. Definitely talk to your lawyer as well if it will put you at ease.
    hope all goes well!
    They are suppose to be setting up my test today but they told me that I wouldn't see the dr and get the results until 9-28. Are you saying that if its bad that they may call me sooner than that?

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    Featured Member Girly_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Erika_Xstacy View Post
    You could have simple cysts.
    I have ovary cysts that are extremely painful at times. I forget about it until the pain begins.
    They have to be checked yearly bc it can turn into cancer.
    I have 2 very large cysts on each ovaries that I was suppose to be having checked every 6 months but then I missed an appointment and couldn't get back in to see him cause my regular dr wouldn't give me a referral until now. ;(
    Last edited by Girly_Girl; 08-30-2018 at 05:16 AM.

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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    Okay I am assuming you are American and Im not sure what sort of resources are available to you so my suggestions might not apply. Firstly look into consolidating your debit. You say you have Multiple Credit Cards you need to make payments on? Just talk to your bank, and other banks about a loan or a low interest CC or line of credit that you could have to pay off all the cards. This way you only have one payment a month and a longer time to pay it off. IF that is not an option then talk to your lawyer about what happens if you just dont pay your credit cards. I dont know about America but here they send them to collection agencies and then those agents will try to collect the debit. Often they are easier to work with cause you can BS them about how much you have and just make smaller payments over a longer period. Also they will normally settle for less then you owe. This option will fuck up your credit but not like bankruptcy but I dont know how owing a house affects this situation so that is why I say ask your lawyer!

    Definitely start a fund!!!! Dont ever mention that you work in cam because a lot of these companies wont let you if you do but I would have set that up yesterday! Set the amount you need low so you can cash out earlier. Then open another one. I would put it like "I need 2000 to cover my tests" then collect, close and set up a new one saying "I need help paying for exploratory surgery" or whatever!! I think you get the idea. You just want to be able to get in and out quickly. Dont try to raise all you need in one goal and make sure to swoon and give huge tearful thanks to those that help you because they deserve it. I love when our clients care enough to help us out a little more so be grateful.

    Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. Its a great motto. Live by it right now. Stop any and all frugal spending! Shop the best prices for the things you need, like food, and try to cut out all other spending. I have had to do it many times in my life and its amazing how much money you can save when you take a hard look at your spending habits. If you manage to save any money at all use it immediately to pay down (preferable off) your CC debit!! You should not have that!

    Meditate, do yoga, focus on eating well for health, surround yourself with crystals or plants or join a group for spirituality. Something. Anything that will help you to lower stress and focus your energy in a positive way. No matter what you need to learn to control your stress level and you cant just think yourself into that state the things I mentioned are tools you use to help beat the stress and negativity that come with dealing with illness and financial trouble. This is really important so you dont burn out and stop working when you need the money the most so please do some good things for yourself.

    As other mentioned work you sexy little bum off! Hustle the guys, work extra hours whatever to get that $$$

    Big hugs to you. I also just found out I am dealing with an illness myself so maybe in some small way I am writing this to myself............................... Keep us informed! Especially about the funding, not enough info for us here about that yet so your input is important. You're gonna do great!

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  11. #7
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    Okay I am assuming you are American and Im not sure what sort of resources are available to you so my suggestions might not apply. Firstly look into consolidating your debit. You say you have Multiple Credit Cards you need to make payments on? Just talk to your bank, and other banks about a loan or a low interest CC or line of credit that you could have to pay off all the cards. This way you only have one payment a month and a longer time to pay it off. IF that is not an option then talk to your lawyer about what happens if you just dont pay your credit cards. I dont know about America but here they send them to collection agencies and then those agents will try to collect the debit. Often they are easier to work with cause you can BS them about how much you have and just make smaller payments over a longer period. Also they will normally settle for less then you owe. This option will fuck up your credit but not like bankruptcy but I dont know how owing a house affects this situation so that is why I say ask your lawyer!

    Definitely start a fund!!!! Dont ever mention that you work in cam because a lot of these companies wont let you if you do but I would have set that up yesterday! Set the amount you need low so you can cash out earlier. Then open another one. I would put it like "I need 2000 to cover my tests" then collect, close and set up a new one saying "I need help paying for exploratory surgery" or whatever!! I think you get the idea. You just want to be able to get in and out quickly. Dont try to raise all you need in one goal and make sure to swoon and give huge tearful thanks to those that help you because they deserve it. I love when our clients care enough to help us out a little more so be grateful.

    Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. Its a great motto. Live by it right now. Stop any and all frugal spending! Shop the best prices for the things you need, like food, and try to cut out all other spending. I have had to do it many times in my life and its amazing how much money you can save when you take a hard look at your spending habits. If you manage to save any money at all use it immediately to pay down (preferable off) your CC debit!! You should not have that!

    Meditate, do yoga, focus on eating well for health, surround yourself with crystals or plants or join a group for spirituality. Something. Anything that will help you to lower stress and focus your energy in a positive way. No matter what you need to learn to control your stress level and you cant just think yourself into that state the things I mentioned are tools you use to help beat the stress and negativity that come with dealing with illness and financial trouble. This is really important so you dont burn out and stop working when you need the money the most so please do some good things for yourself.

    As other mentioned work you sexy little bum off! Hustle the guys, work extra hours whatever to get that $$$

    Big hugs to you. I also just found out I am dealing with an illness myself so maybe in some small way I am writing this to myself............................... Keep us informed! Especially about the funding, not enough info for us here about that yet so your input is important. You're gonna do great!

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  13. #8
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    ^^ Sorry double post. I cannot delete it I just get an error message. PGD can you delete one of these for me??

  14. #9
    God/dess Erika_Xstacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girly_Girl View Post
    I have 2 very large cysts on each ovaries that I was suppose to be having checked every 6 months but then I missed an appointment and couldn't get back in to see him cause my regular dr wouldn't give me a referral until now. ;(
    Im glad your getting help now.
    I feel for you and understand not having anyone to depend on and it sucks.
    I've had outpatient surgery 6 weeks to recoup, i was camming in 2 days bc the bills would rack up.


    From what I know the Office should call you as soon as the test come back esp if they see red flags. Call them, this is your body. Anxiety can be overwhelming. Tell them you nare simply worried. Women understand women, talk to a woman if possible.

    From my own experience, anyone who is in need of a referral and and cant get you one, go to the ER. Test can be done there or they will refer you if its not a minor issue.
    In most US states a person can speak to medical social services inside the hospital to have fees waved, reduced or a payment plan.
    sometimes its cheaper than your copay.
    Ive been hospitalized in 3 states and a 2 waived fees except a janky ass town in the woods. Eventually they worked w me.
    eta: I would only risk this if you are highly concerned.

    swear they keep that silent until you break down crying scared to have things done bc of cost.

    A friend referred me tom AFLAC. he broke his foot 2 weeks after signing up and they paid him. He was saved by the skin of his neck. It covered all his out of pocket expenses w no worries.
    Im slack and haven't signed up but my intention is to do so.
    Last edited by Erika_Xstacy; 08-30-2018 at 05:04 PM.

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    God/dess Erika_Xstacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    @DT

    edit post
    go advanced
    tick the box that says delete this post in the following manner and save.

    I didnt read you got a error message but if anyone needs to know ..

  17. #11
    Senior Member EdithOutlier's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do ?

    There's lots of great advice in this thread about how to manage financially, I'd also add that you should build up your non-cam income as much as possible. Lots of ladies are making their entire income from phone, sms, photo sets, kik and snapchat session (have a look through reddit for how they do that hussle), so there's ways to still have money coming in even when you're off cam.

    Also, don't freak out until you get the results. It's super common for women to have one or more periods after they've been through the 'one year period free' that defines menopause. Doctors automatically check for cancer with unusual bleeding patterns, so that doesn't mean it definitely is that.

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