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Thread: People who pass along gossip

  1. #1
    Veteran Member somechick99's Avatar
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    Default People who pass along gossip

    You know those people who will pass along something negative that someone said about you? One of my friends did this to me recently and it's making me reconsider my friendship with her. She broke up with a very toxic, douchey guy who said negative things about all of her friends. I'm glad they broke up and all, but she actually told me all the bad things this guy has said about me, which really wasn't necessary because I've only met this guy a few times and he's not someone whose opinion has any merit. She told me that he said I was extremely stupid and that my boob job looked way too big. I directly asked her, "Why did he feel so comfortable saying that to you?" And she said that she stood up for me etc, but it still seems like a way for her to directly insult me to my face while passing the blame along to someone else. I told her I didn't care to know what some abusive loser had to say about me and she apologized. She also reassured me it was nothing personal and that he had bad things to say about everyone but that really wasn't the point.

    Anyways, I'm curious if these types of people are even worth keeping in your life? She's a really fun friend otherwise and this hasn't happened before, but it seemed very rude and unnecessary at the time. It'd be different if someone I trusted said something horrible and then a mutual friend brought it to my attention, but this wasn't that situation at all.

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    Moderator PhatGirlDynomite!!!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: People who pass along gossip

    I wouldn't cut her off just yet. Wait and see if what you said sinks in. She may just be a little immature and not too savy when it comes to that sort of thing. I agree not everything needs to be repeated and we should be more mindful of the energy we put out there. But people are people.

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    Default Re: People who pass along gossip

    You yourself said she hasn't acted like that before. Assuming this is the first time she is acting in a way that can be seen as passive aggressive- I'd let it slide. But if she keeps telling you shit like that I'd let her go. I also don't understand why she had to tell you these mean things, but idk this person. Maybe she is a legit ditz sometimes and doesn't realize how she comes off? I used to be super socially retarded until a few years ago. So I try and give people the benefit of a doubt...I'm sorry you had to hear these things.

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    Veteran Member Elle:)'s Avatar
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    Default Re: People who pass along gossip

    I would cut her off. Sounds like she said smth she wanted to say but pretended he said it. She sounds really catty to me. I wont be surprised if he didnt say anything at all.

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    Default Re: People who pass along gossip

    Quote Originally Posted by Elle:) View Post
    I would cut her off. Sounds like she said smth she wanted to say but pretended he said it. She sounds really catty to me. I wont be surprised if he didnt say anything at all.
    Thats a really good point! People quite often will try to transfer their negativity onto other people when they're hurting. She could have been lying to make herself feel better. Afterall she just went through a breakup. Thats not an excuse, but it makes sense.

    All the same I wouldn't just throw the friendship away just yet. Maybe it would be best to keep some distance while she works it out? She may never do it again and you just might get a sincere apology after she's worked on it. I understand your concern because messy people are annoying and it sucks when they turn out to be one of friends. I'm sure you didn't sign up for that.

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: People who pass along gossip

    She probably wanted people to be angry at him. Example You break up with someone or they break up with you, you feel pissy and upset, you rant to your friends/associates and may even repeat his shit talking so that the person he was talking shit about will retaliate against him and be angry with him just like you are.

    Some people just run their mouths too much, they are immature and gossip because they don’t realize the effect of running their mouth.

    Her ex ran his mouth, made him look questionable. Now she’s running her mouth which also makes her look questionable (possibly manipulative, petty, immature, etc)

    She may think she’s helping you by telling you what he said about you so you don’t befriend the enemy but really unless you heard this direct from him it’s just hearsay at this point

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    Default Re: People who pass along gossip

    It kind of sounds like she's trying to reassure herself that she's better off without him and that he's an asshole.

    I wouldn't cut her off unless this keeps happening. If she keeps going on and on about it, either say something or just blow her off. I have a feeling it will stop when she starts getting over the breakup.

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