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Thread: What’s does he have in his head?

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    Senior Member Grace108's Avatar
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    Default What’s does he have in his head?

    Hi,
    i am seeing this SD since a couple of years and he is always been double messaging.. He does play games a lot: used to replay me days after, calling me last minute.. or now if I cannot go that evening he send me photos of him with other girls in the same night, telling me or showing me he is having fun.

    I personally don’t think economically is very generous but he always helped me and to me it matters. He is very promiscuous.. in the past was more interessante in cuddles with me, but after few double messages and bit of awkward situations between emotions and casual.. nowadays is opposite.

    Last time I saw him he didn’t want any cuddles from me. A part playing I am his wife in front of others.
    If you do have any idea of what he has on his mind please help! ��

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    He is playing you big time. He is just a sd, don’t sound like he’s worth the mental hassle. You are giving him too much of your precious time and he knows it. Also seems like he can smell your desperation, not saying you are but he may think that. You said the money isn’t all that great. So why bother. Somebody like this could drain you and hold you back from meeting someone better. Easy to get detached after a “couple of years. I know . Try to detach yourself. We ladies have to keep the upper hand.

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    Senior Member Grace108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Thanks. Well maybe is as you said I never thought in that way, he sees many ladies so he probably knows more than me about it as I am mainly a dancer...
    I detached last September and in December I reconnected because he was sending me messages and maybe he felt I was going that he told me how special it is between us etc.
    I do see other people but this one seams like stay in and out quiet consistently and also in the beginning he was so much after cuddling, but after an awkward situation where I kept distances he just avoid cuddling.. I mean like if I touch him nicely he says I am into his space and he needs to leave (with a ridiculous excuse.. -what?.. relax baby..)I mean is nothing at all is quiet a normal thing.
    But yes you are right in the sense that he is draining me and he is taking too much of my mental space for what I am gaining out of him. I do feel clueless with his behaviour and maybe he does smell it.
    Yes maybe I should let go this situation that is no bringing me anywhere any more..

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    He sounds more like a p2p than an SD and a game playing one, at that. It sounds like he's purposely trying to make you jealous and keep you on your toes. He sounds immature too. That's not cool, too much drama. I think you should let him go and move on.

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    Senior Member Grace108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Thanks Wendi, yes he is definitely immature and you say it.. I often thought he is trying to make me jealous or this is what he is doing with girls in general, for who knows which reason.. I don’t know what’s he hoping to get out of his behaviour. But I am glad to have post this thread here, as I kept it for too long and by just bring it out I feel much more clearer on what’s going on. And I am a bit tired of this non sense games.
    I know if I don’t reply he will insist and probably send me more pics of him fucking etc.. Well it was good, but things are changed and now all of this is just a non sense

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    He sounds “ expired “ unless he resurfaced with a nice offer / no silly games.

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Here’s the thing, not everyone in life is sane or mentally balanced. Ever heard the saying misery loves company? He sounds like a miserable dude like inside of his head and to help himself feel better he transfers that negative energy (jealousy, avoidance, etc.) onto people around him - aka you. He enjoys trying to make people feel as bad as he feels.

    He doesn’t cuddle anymore because he never was an emotional cuddling type of dude he just pretended to be in the beginning but he doesn’t care to pretend anymore.

    He sounds like the type that uses women and they are just objects for his sexual gratification/his manipulation tactics.

    Don’t become emotional involved in a man who is not emotionally invested in you AND leave these men alone if they are manipulative because this means they are/will become abusive towards you. Save yourself and avoid this dude.

    He is trying to get a rise out of you (to make you react because he is seeking attention), don’t give him what he wants just pretend like he doesn’t exist and move on. Then unfortunately, he’ll be someone else’s problem but at least he won’t be bothering you.

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    Senior Member Grace108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    He sounds “ expired “ unless he resurfaced with a nice offer / no silly games.
    Yes is no much of benefit anymore sadly. And even if he made his offer I am no sure will be worthy to reconnect .. is really hard work unfortunately

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    Senior Member Grace108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Miss.a.p.1600 yes I thought he is a bit jealous too (kind of he knows which buttons to press.. but is really tiring) and likes having women react, gives him the attention he needs. I personally saw him as a sensitive man that was hurt, but him playing all this act and facade I don’t know what does he think he can get out of it..
    He is a bit childish too and maybe he had very poor connections in his life but a lot of money and success ..
    I also saw him treating some people with no respect and a lot of attitude. He certainly like to use women.
    He did it also with me once, but I shouted his mouth up straight away that time.
    Well here we go again analysing.. which I already done too much. He does have some issues in short but I don’t know what and he doesn’t want to open up but hide beyond his games. I really tried with patient to understand and be available, but now is too much .. is no serving any benefit financially and he is no even being a friend. And I feel like I am wasting my previous time after games. I am sorry, but what’s the alternative i want to feel good and this doesn’t feel good anymore.

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Well from my life experiences we can only have one thing: Love, sex,or money. Unfortunately we can’t have all three. You have to be honest with yourself and this isn’t easy. You said you want to feel good. Is it love? A husband, a boyfriend that loves you where sex and money is not that important, or do you just need to focus and love yourself for now. Sex? A boy toy to come over when you need attention, no love or money involved cause you got that covered elsewhere, or can you you take care of yourself sexually no guy involved. Or money? No love involved cause you don’t need it, no sex involved because money is all you need/want. Sex, money, or love. We have to know because these guys can find our weakness and use it against us. Know want you want girl and go get it from these weak guys. I have faith in you. No matter what never get emotional. I know it’s hard to be a savage and not have feelings, but if this started out as a money thing, then forget feelings. You are to beautiful to let this loser use you up.

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    To be honest, I would throw him away until he makes an better allowance offer and there's no game playing. Remember there's no love in sugaring and there's no time for those stupid little games that he was playing.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    The one slightly positive spin you might be able to put on it is he is paying for a friend - he is showing you how cool he is with all the women, because he has no friends he can swagger in front of. Sometimes dancers will do that, sometimes civies to be "cool", commenting on you with pictures of other women to make you feel like a player. But what matters is you don't seem happy, and the relationship isn't making you feel secure. If he's angling for p4p it is even less secure. It may be time for the boot.
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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Thanks for everyone support. I feel much better since when I took it off my chest. Bahuba yes I do this all the time at club and is fine is exactly what you saying.. and the pay good money.
    But this situation with him is different, is a bit too confusing. He wants to control it all and unfortunately this is what has been doing so far with other women, but in my situation is really starting to be frustrating and I have to admit that it was good in the beginning but now has changed and what it is now doesn’t work. He likes to play emotionally some games and that’s no cool. Things are what they are in sugaring etc.. Btw I was also quiet new in this when I met him and probably I didn’t keep my boundaries well.

    One year ago I cut ties with him, to give him another chance few months later. But this chance I gave him was more like a waist of more time for both. I just let him go, he has his harem of women (sadly for them as he take a lot for little in exchange plus manipulation lol). I learned from this relationship and I will make treasure of it.
    I am afraid there are to many signs that this is a burden now hance it is expired.

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Who cares? The question is, is he still keeping up his financial arrangement? If not- next him or be very hot/cold with him. When he shows you pics of other girls do NOT CARE. He's trying to get a rise out of you. It seems like you're getting a bit emotionally involved and I would pull back and allow him to chase you like before. Fuck his games, play them right back and take your emotions out of it. The next time he hits you up leave his shit on read.

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    Senior Member Grace108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    Well .. he is hard work regarding financial arrangements. He doesn’t want to pay much. So I Coop with it in the past as he always gave me something that helped me. But nowadays seams like he doesn’t want to increase much or if I ask more he bursted calling me opportunist. Moreover nowadays he is very controlling about making a date, seams like he wants to keep me on my toes. Add that if I cannot go last minute he shares what’s doing with me. that I cannot care less
    So fallowing his logic: shall I see him out of my crush for him??? Especially giving how well he takes care of women? Or how he likes to keep all the control.
    He is a mess.. seams he has little respect for women or who knows which mental issues he struggles with beyond his facade. I wouldn’t see him as a friend, but as a SD was fun and $. Btw I am thinking things are very much on the wrong direction and I am taking on other priorities ..

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    NO! Stop seeing him. Leave your emotions OUT of these arrangements. I don't care if you have a crush on him or not. You having a crush on him has gotten him to take FULL advantage of you. Let him gooooooo and find a SD who's generous and respects your time. Leave his shit on READ and block and delete. He's going you twisted.

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    Default Re: What’s does he have in his head?

    This is no longer an SD/SB relationship. It resembles more of a scorned/rejected ex who comes back to play games and tries to flex some control. Don’t give it to him. If he’s not paying for your time/attention, let that shit go. Sounds as though he is already displaying mentally and emotionally abusive behavior. Find a real SD and let the other women find out what a creep he is on their own. Best wishes.

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