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Thread: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

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    Default HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    Okay. I started working at a club in CT and have only had 2 shifts there, the first night I did okay and my second day I did terrible. I am having a hard time getting into the groove of things and I have chalked it up to simply not being able to hoe right, my hustle sucks! I see girls doing well and it makes me feel awful. I have a hard time feeling/being sexy, because it goes against my personality. I get a lot of good reactions from my looks but I don't know how to be forward and talkative and give men what they want. I'm shy and have kind of a dry sense of humor, and I keep messing up by getting into these long conversations w men that just turn out to be a huge waste of time! These dudes keep falling in love with me but I need to learn how to make men fall in lust!! But I can't seem to bring myself to touch all over the guys and sit on their laps and bat my eyelashes. Should I drink more to loosen up?? ALso what do you allow during lapdances- do you allow guys to suck your tits or touch your pussy? I just feel uncomfortable with it all. Any advice is helpful!!

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    Default Re: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    It goes against mine, too. I was raised Mennonite- trust me, sexiness absolutely is NOT embraced in that community.
    You’ve worked two shifts. I was probably in the same boat as you my second shift. Learn from observing others, build a hustle that works for you - don’t try being the other dancers, because you aren’t them.

    The biggest thing for me, the moment where it all sorta came together, was that I had to learn to just not give a fuck, in regards to my own insecurities. So I’d go on stage, think to myself, “I don’t give a fuck”, and do my show.

    HOW to build your hustle - I’m sure you’ll helpful snippets all over this forum, but in the end, what you put together has to be something tailored to you. I can’t go about it the way many of our other dancers can, because I’m not them.

    Just keep at it, and keep working to improve - your demeanor, your performance, etc. Be wary of who you take suggestions from - not every other dancer in your club is your friend, even if they pretend to be.
    I twist the truth, I rule the world. My crown is called deceit. I am the emperor of lies.You grovel at my feet . I rob you and I slaughter you. Your downfall is my gain. And still you play the sycophant. And revel in your pain. And all my promises are lies. All my love is hate. I am the politician. And I decide your fate.

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    Default Re: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    I’m awkward as well but embracing it and having a sense of humor will work in your favor. You just started so it’s not because of your personality but because you don’t have your hustle down yet. If your club is slower paced chat for a bit but suggest having some fun or getting naked for them whatever you prefer.

    Don’t let guys put their filthy mouths on you for 20 bucks and at no point should they be grabbing your p*ssy.

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    Default Re: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    No matter what any customer, manager, dancer, or other club staff may tell you -- NOWHERE are pussy grabbing or breast sucking either appropriate, or legal. Nowhere.

    First rule is, know your own boundaries. If you are not ok with it, then don't do it, and don't allow yourself to be convinced (or bullied) into being okay with it. Note: this does not necessarily mean stick with air dancing in a contact club (regardless of that club's contact norms); if you're having trouble getting comfy with lap dances for example, you will have to find a way to make it work for you. Allow it to be one-way (you touch him but he doesn't touch you). I am sure if you do a search on 'dance contact' or 'boundaries' or something similar, some good threads will come up.

    If it's contact in general that's giving you difficulty, always remember that customers are on your turf. You decide whether touching is ok. You don't *have to* throw yourself all over them; sometimes less is more. Read up on body language as well as general sales techniques because this job is essentially about sales.

    Finally, don't take yourself so seriously! Customers come into the club to have a good time. Milk your new girl status for as long as you can, and have fun with yourself! If you stumble on stage (and every dancer has done that at some point, sometimes even after years of experience), go ahead and be silly about it, laugh it off and move on. Good customers will appreciate a dancer who can laugh at her own foibles. If someone is a jerk to you instead, then you've just been given the message that you probably wouldn't want them as a customer anyway.

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    Default Re: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    Thank you for this advice!! It's comforting to know that skills will develop over time because right now I feel like a fish out of water. I wish I wasn't so awkward and shy. I think it's my lack of confidence in my skills thats really tripping me up- I dont have a strong stage performance yet I feel like I'm kind of killing time up there so I don't have it in my head that my "product" of dancing and lapdances is worth being confident in yet, if that makes sense. I have a really hard time "selling" myself and I need to get with it because this whole job is sales!! Do any of you use "personas"? I'm thinking I definitely need to be more flirty and sexual but I really have a hard time closing the sale. Like I can barely bring myself to ask! Every time I do i inwardly cringe because it comes out so not confident. I'll be chatting with them for a while and don't know what to segway with so I'll eventually just say "do you wanna go for a dance?" like ew cringe. I am going to try to be more slick w it moving forward lol. Another weird problem I'm having is I talk to a guy for so long and become their "friend" or so it feels like-to the point that I feel weird getting naked for a guy I know and won't even really want to give him a lapdance. Is this normal??? That's why I feel like a "persona" might help me get out of my own head and feel like it's not really me doing it.

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    Default Re: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    “Fake it til you make it” is really shitty advice. Most people I see who try it don’t really pull it off - we’re not all meant to be actors. I can’t act for shit - else I’d be an actor. And even they don’t always get it right.
    It sounds to me like you’re a little uncertain, and that’s normal. But, you mustered up the fortitude to get out there and audition, no? And you apparently did fine in your audition, because somebody decided, “yes, they’ll pay to watch her strip naked”. So, I don’t expect they’d bring you aboard if you didn’t have the hotness going on.

    You don’t need some bullshit fake persona unless you’re planning on becoming a wrestler.
    I twist the truth, I rule the world. My crown is called deceit. I am the emperor of lies.You grovel at my feet . I rob you and I slaughter you. Your downfall is my gain. And still you play the sycophant. And revel in your pain. And all my promises are lies. All my love is hate. I am the politician. And I decide your fate.

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    Default Re: HELP ME!! awkward newbie w/ bad hustle

    The key to flirting is to not give a fuck how you come off.... when I’m hustling a guy I always think to myself “I’m a snake charmer playing the flute and he is the snake that’s being hypnotized”... to avoid long conversations just let him do most of the talking and act like your interested.

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