Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: Should I feel like a loser?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Femme Fatale's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    84
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked 112 Times in 50 Posts

    Default Should I feel like a loser?

    I come to terms with it . For the past month, I felt so tired of vanilla working that I'm working to not feel like a loser.

    I have my parents living in my house since they couldn't afford to buy one right now and paying the electric and water bill. I can afford to go to college full time again (it's been a dream of mine, it's been 7 years since high school ended).

    And I'm just working at a decent paying job but I'm depress and dissociating myself *like numb zombie* everyday ... I rather just be a nurse and be happier in my life. Ideally go on to grad school...

    My job pays 45K a year, but I have 4 hr commute and just hate what I do. I also make 25K with my weekend job and side income from real estate renting. So I would live off 25K and student loans.

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Femme Fatale For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,261
    Thanks
    4,146
    Thanked 2,934 Times in 961 Posts
    My Mood
    Confused
    Blog Entries
    9

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Of course not! Why would you even think that? Sounds like the critical tapes are playing in your head. I have a lot of those downloaded from my parents, religion, and capitalism.

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ifyouseekamy For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Senior Member Femme Fatale's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    84
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked 112 Times in 50 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    I do. I feel like I would be a loser if I did not work full time and went to college instead. Due to loss income.

    I cannot handle both college/work unless it's part time. And college requires full dedication for me.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Femme Fatale For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    3,938
    Thanks
    3,674
    Thanked 6,522 Times in 2,204 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Femme, IMHO you're sabotaging yourself with all of this misdirected self-judgment about what constitutes a loser. You are considering a calculated decision to reduce your income temporarily in order to pursue longer-term success. If there was ever a time to do it, it is now, before life plop other encumbrances in your lap (like kids, bigger expenses, etc)) and starts limiting your options for you. Sure at 25ish you may be a little older than the average full-time student, but from an overall life standpoint you are still very young. You may still have 50+ years on this Earth and if you can do something while you're young to improve those years, then go for it.

  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  9. #5
    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,255
    Thanks
    4,416
    Thanked 1,653 Times in 647 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    You are much better off than a lot of people actually...
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

  10. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to LaurenAus For This Useful Post:


  11. #6
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    283
    Thanks
    95
    Thanked 595 Times in 192 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Holy crap sounds like you work really hard already! Don't be so hard on yourself. You're kicking ass at life and way ahead of most people your age.

    I went back to college at 26, it's not a big deal being older. Especially if you take classes at community college where there is a much wider age range. But even if you go to a university it's not a big deal; you may not have much in common with the kids who live in dorms and go to frat parties on the weekend but you're bound to find a few cool people. So many dancers look younger than their real age anyway no one will notice. If you really want to fit in on campus just try to dress like everyone else and you will blend right in.

  12. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to lurkingtitties For This Useful Post:


  13. #7
    God/dess WendiStarr's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2013
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,518
    Thanks
    3,934
    Thanked 10,240 Times in 3,000 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    It doesn't sound to me like you are a loser. Losers are the types who have nothing going for themselves who are still living at home, being 100% financially supported by mommy and daddy. Losers are the ones who are not only mooching off of mommy and daddy as adults, but they also have no ambition to do anything with their lives, are not working or taking on any adult responsibilities, not going to college, and are not doing anything to try to better themselves in any way. It does not sound like you are that type. If anything you should be proud of yourself. Earning $45k a year and the $25k on weekends, it sounds like you are doing a lot better than most people your age. Do you know how many people, even older than you who never left the nest in their late 30s and 40s? Surprisingly I know quite a few people like that. Don't be so hard on yourself.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to WendiStarr For This Useful Post:


  15. #8
    Moderator
    Joined
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,533
    Thanks
    2,920
    Thanked 2,711 Times in 1,020 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Hell no! You have a plan, you are making choices, you have options, you are considering the future. I'm actually over here clapping for you. You might want to read this if you have the time - I don't 100% agree with the advice the columnist doles out, but it gives you perspective in how easy it is to begin labeling yourself as a "loser" which is never helpful.

    Iím Broke and Mostly Friendless, and Iíve Wasted My Whole Life
    Where am I? Back on the road, dammit


  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bahuba For This Useful Post:


  17. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2018
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    841
    Thanks
    1,165
    Thanked 1,615 Times in 624 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    When I think about the word “loser” and what comes to mind, what gets conjured in my mind is so far removed from what you described that better judgment is the only thing which stops me from thinking you might be fishing for compliments. A lot of people I know do exactly that, but the difference I see here is that they do it for no reason, whereas you’re simply torn between choices and feeling a bit indecisive. I’d dare to venture that there’s probably a little seasonal depression setting in.

    I get it. I feel the same way at times. But I think thou doth protest a bit much. You’re kicking ass out there, you just have to figure out how much and which side you want to keep kicking.
    My hair seems to be seized by the wind
    But I must continue this trip, never looking back.
    Never looking back...

  18. #10
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,261
    Thanks
    4,146
    Thanked 2,934 Times in 961 Posts
    My Mood
    Confused
    Blog Entries
    9

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    My definition of loser is someone who is destructive and doesn’t take responsibility for their shit.

    I think you have conflict of needs and wants- between wanting to work and going to school.

    Your negativite feelings are telling you something is off and something’s gotta give? Take care of yourself until you figure out what’s going on. You’ll figure it out. You sound smart and ambitious.
    Last edited by Ifyouseekamy; 12-02-2018 at 05:48 PM.

  19. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ifyouseekamy For This Useful Post:


  20. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4,276
    Thanks
    1,967
    Thanked 3,546 Times in 1,952 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    You may have a touch of Season Affective Disorder -i.e. depression affecting your outlook. It happens this time of year.

  21. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to slowpoke For This Useful Post:


  22. #12
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    461
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 156 Times in 76 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Quote Originally Posted by Femme Fatale View Post
    My job pays 45K a year, but I have 4 hr commute and just hate what I do. I also make 25K with my weekend job and side income from real estate renting. So I would live off 25K and student loans.
    Financially at least, it seems like you have it well together. 7 years out of high school and you're having a side income from renting out real estate? That's pretty impressive to me!

    You're financially secure enough that you can realise your dreams at 20-something?

    I see no reason why you should feel like a loser.

  23. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Clara_M For This Useful Post:


  24. #13
    Senior Member Femme Fatale's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    84
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked 112 Times in 50 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Thanks.

    Well I'm starting college this coming semester January. I'm taking a break from working and focusing on my health. (Including mental). Reading some books and doing appointments I never have the time for.

    I applied back in mid 2018 so it wasn't hard to enroll and such just became too busy. I told my family I am going to pursue my dreams for a while. Don't expect to see me working a full time job.

    My full-time job shouldn't cause me to drop my dreams. Its going to be weird going back to college after being out for a while.

  25. The Following User Says Thank You to Femme Fatale For This Useful Post:


  26. #14
    Member StellaRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    55
    Thanks
    112
    Thanked 113 Times in 41 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    If there is any underlying depression issues, I’d also recommend checking to see if your school has some sort of support group. My school does for depression/anxiety issues and the like. And also it’s no big deal, even on the social aspect. I’m also 25 and there are a few people I have casually hung out with.

  27. The Following User Says Thank You to StellaRose For This Useful Post:


  28. #15
    Veteran Member queenelayliah's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    413
    Thanks
    325
    Thanked 618 Times in 251 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Quote Originally Posted by Femme Fatale View Post
    I come to terms with it . For the past month, I felt so tired of vanilla working that I'm working to not feel like a loser.

    I have my parents living in my house since they couldn't afford to buy one right now and paying the electric and water bill. I can afford to go to college full time again (it's been a dream of mine, it's been 7 years since high school ended).

    And I'm just working at a decent paying job but I'm depress and dissociating myself *like numb zombie* everyday ... I rather just be a nurse and be happier in my life. Ideally go on to grad school...

    My job pays 45K a year, but I have 4 hr commute and just hate what I do. I also make 25K with my weekend job and side income from real estate renting. So I would live off 25K and student loans.


    Girl! If I was there right now I would love to strangle you (with love and care of course) for having such crazy thoughts
    what everyone else said is so true, you being really hard on yourself. Plus here's another perspective for you, from what it sounds like we are around the same age. I graduated high school seven years ago as well in 2011.

    Me:
    I LOVE my job, I have a ZERO hour commute, I live on my own, I own my car, I have a bachelorís degree and I am thinking of pursuing a master degree as well. I graduated from college in 2015 and for the last three years, my income has been below the federal POVERTY income limit. This year, 2018, I only made about $12k this year. Yeap 12k! I am not a drug addict, Iím not a convict, and I have no children. I'm also depressed, and I have a debilitating anxiety disorder.

    You:
    You make about 70k a year. You are able to support your parents and yourself.

    I am barely able to support myself and my cat. I would kill to make that much money! If the amount of money determined who was a loser, you would be a queen and I would be a peasant. I say this with love and no spite, but letís remember and be thankful for what we do have while still aiming for more, because everything we do have now can be taken away in a blink of an eye.

  29. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to queenelayliah For This Useful Post:


  30. #16
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    378
    Thanks
    233
    Thanked 248 Times in 104 Posts
    My Mood
    Busy

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Hi! I just wanted to say I've been in a similar spot where I was working and making plenty of money but super unhappy and feeling like a loser for not doing anything with my bachelor's degree. I felt kind of trapped because it became too mentally draining for me to dance full time yet any vanilla job I could get seemed horribly unappealing. I took a major risk going back to grad school (at age 29) - an intense program where working was not an option. It didn't feel natural to me because I've been working 2 to 3 jobs since age 14 and my self worth in some ways is tied to working. Anyway...I graduated in May and immediately got a job doing what I love and making more than I did before. Allowing myself to take the necessary time off to fully focus on education has brought so much good to my life. I no longer feel... 'stuck'.
    www.ellesdancewear.com

    15% Off Website Orders w/ code 'STRIPPERWEB'

  31. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to _Elle_ For This Useful Post:


  32. #17
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Surely, not. What are you talking about? Do you know the notion of loser? Read it at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page and you will understand, that it is not the necessary meaning that you are going to make your label.

  33. #18
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4,276
    Thanks
    1,967
    Thanked 3,546 Times in 1,952 Posts

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Far from being a looser, you are in a position most people your age would envy!

  34. #19
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Apr 2019
    Location
    United State
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Should I feel like a loser?

    Try This 5 Minute Exercise If You Feel Like A Loser

    5-Minute Exercise

    When difficulties arise, perhaps it's an ideal opportunity to help up and chill. Here's a basic, five moment practice I've discovered supportive at whatever point my cerebrum assaults me. This activity works particularly when you endure any difficulty or feel enthusiastic about anything that annoys you about yourself or others.

    Practice without being aggressive on the grounds that this activity isn't a challenge or race. There's nobody approach to do any of this. Kick into these means when the dim musings begin conversing with you. All that I'm going to let you know is best drilled in a calm spot, and not driving down the thruway, despite the fact that you can turn out to be increasingly aware of your feelings and contemplations when you drive.

    Begin breathing deliberately. Grin. Glance around. Enjoy a reprieve from the job needing to be done. Go for a stroll around in the event that you can. Grin. Take in profoundly, fill your midsection with air as though there's a major inflatable inside you, at that point breathe out. There's no should be extraordinary. Simply inhale profoundly, gradually, perhaps even close your eyes. Do this for one to three minutes as you supplant your musings with positive reasoning.

    Drop the negative idea on the spot. This implies when an opposite, reckless thought sneaks in, state to yourself, "Hi Thought. I see/feel/hear you coming. I know your objective; take me off track a bit, perhaps back me off. Self-question beat me up. Not today. No chance! Time to proceed onward. I'm dropping you now, on the spot." If this appears as though it's nuts, you could be correct. Simply attempt it.

    Supplant the idea you dropped and rejected with a positive one. Converse with yourself. Unmistakably, we're all fit for this. So utilize the piece of you that dropped the negative reasoning to give another one like, "You can do this. It's alright to feel baffled now and again. You're adapting each moment and showing signs of improvement. Continue stopping endlessly. I cherish this work since REASON, and I'm thankful to have the chance to take this venture, objective, business, task, on.

    Picture the perfect result. See it, believe it, trust you can get where you need to go, despite the fact that it may not be simple now and again.

    Work on monitoring your contemplations and sentiments. This implies be an onlooker of yourself if that bodes well. Simply working on detecting what's truly going on inside you, back off, be at the time, and chill.

  35. The Following User Says Thank You to Stokes For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. sometimes I feel like such a loser.
    By gypsyroseBBW in forum Life Support
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-12-2012, 01:05 PM
  2. I feel like a loser.
    By LunaCera Fenella in forum Life Support
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 07-15-2010, 02:41 PM
  3. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 08-16-2008, 12:34 PM
  4. I'm a loser!
    By Hottie7268 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-15-2005, 04:35 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •